SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Enneagram MBA Podcast, a show for aspiring and growing entrepreneurs and unfulfilled employees who know they are capable of playing bigger. If you are wanting to identify your gifts, find your purpose, do work that matters, and create a ripple effect that goes beyond yourself, you're in the right place. Each week you'll get resources, strategies, and support to help you get to know yourself, to get to know and understand others, like your future clients, and help you get known so that you can reach more people with your gifts and purpose. So grab your notebook or open up your notes app, and I will see you in class. Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram MBA podcast. Today we have a guest. We're being joined by Angie Gray. She is um, she most identifies as an Enneagram type five, which I specifically had to reach out to my other five contact to get connected with Angie. Um, I don't know a lot of fives, and I don't know how accurate this is, Angie, but um they say that women tend to be there, tend to be the least amount of type five women um and then the least amount of type two men. So I don't know how the Enneagram world knows that. So you are you're a rare rarity in the in the Enneagram world, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

That's awesome. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah. Well, welcome, welcome. Um, Angie, would you tell the listeners a little bit about um the work that you do? She Angie's gonna be talking to us about her type five energy, about running a business as a type five. And then she also has some expertise in NLP and some other modalities and would just love to hear what you're doing right now and how you're helping your clients.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Oh yeah, um, so right now I um am a master NLP practitioner. That along with that comes clinical hypnotherapy, tapping, um, or EFT, time techniques, um, life and success coaching. And then I'm also what got me started in coaching was I am an integrative nutrition health coach. But mostly I work with people, I work with a lot of women going through grieving, uh grieving at loss of loved ones, maybe through death, or you know, just separating ways for many different reasons, mostly family abandonment issues, you know, things like that. Um, I use NLP tapping and um hypnotherapy mostly for that. Uh sometimes I will get into the integrative nutrition health coaching aspect when and if it is appropriate. Um, you know, and that's very touchy. So if it's appropriate, I will bring it up. If not, I usually don't, you know, offer that. But my coaching is pretty much mindset, manifestation, and health. Health, I guess that goes back to the integrative health, you know, your mind, body, and spirit, your soul, you know. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Well, here's something I meant to tell you before we hit record, but I'll just share it now. So I actually got my health coaching certification through the integrative nutrition institute.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

That's where I got mine.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

I saw that on your website or some article. Um, and I had that when, so it's been, I think 2013. So it's been a while. Um, but yeah, I was like, oh, that's so fun. So and it is and eating is like that health piece is such an important component. I think it doesn't always get thought about. And we'll maybe touch on that in just a little bit. Um, you know, if you're stressed and irritable, yes, there's things, also food and what you're putting in your body and on your body potentially can affect that as well. Um, okay, I want to I want to hear about um your type five energy, like what about the the Enneagram type five you most resonate with? Because I also have some more specific questions about the work you do. And then I'm just kind of curious where where some of the overlap is. So for our listeners who may not be as familiar with the type five energy, Angie, I know you're probably well aware of this, but our type fives are known as the investigator, the um the expert, sometimes also known as the thought leader. They have a tendency to be really objective, critical thinkers, fantastic problem solvers. Um, they usually consider and analyze all options before making an impulsive um decision, which is the opposite of me as a type seven. Um, they have they will provide their clients and their students and their community with a really high level of expertise, genuinely enjoy learning. Um, and they tend to be really good listeners that are open to others' ideas. Um, and then the last thing I wanted to mention was that they tend to have pretty low drama and pretty healthy boundaries. I'm gonna get into the shadow side, Angie, if you're willing to be honest after this, but I would love to hear from you like, what do you see in yourself in those list of qualities? And what do you love most about that type five energy?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

The thing that resonates with me most about type five energy is um the investigator, the I want to want, I want to know everything about whatever I'm into. You know, um the reason I got into NLP is because I was when I was pregnant, um I knew my mindset was directly connected to my son. Even I didn't even know if he was a boy or a girl then. But I knew my mindset was directly correlated to my baby. I wanted to get my mind right so my baby could be, you know, 100% everything I could do, you know, everything, everything matters, you know. Um, so I did hypnobirthing, had a great pregnancy, great delivery, all of that. Um, a couple of months, I feel like it's a couple of months, but when I actually go and look at the dates, it's only a couple of weeks. So maybe when he was like six weeks old, I was already reading books by um Dr. Siegel about how to speak to my baby to help him grow and flourish into himself without my stories and my baggage, you know, and without pushing anything onto this little baby, you know. Um, once he got a little bit older, I wanted to the older books. And um the things that were helping me connect to my then toddler, I was like, hmm, I wonder if these simple ways of changing a sentence or changing a question will work with the people that I have trouble connecting with or getting on the same page with, and it worked. So I tried it on more people and it worked. I tried it on my husband and my friends, and it worked. And I'm like, okay, so what is this? What is this? Why is a simple shift in a sentence or in the way you say something with the inflection? Why does that make a difference? How and where can I learn more? That led me to NLP, took the first course, and I was like, I have to know more. So within like six months, I went to the master practitioner class. And now I know I will be going on to trainer uh to become a trainer of NLP, but that won't be for a while. Um, I'm homeschooling, so you know, I need to be here. But in a few years, I want to teach people and certify people on this because it's so needed. It's so needed.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Now, you know, this is a question maybe we should have started with. Um, Angie, what is how would you describe NLP to somebody who has maybe not a lot of information or or experience with it? Um, just like a quick summary of of what it actually is and how you use it.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

It is a way of speaking to yourself and others so that you can get the desired result that you are wanting through language, through simple shifts of language.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Okay, okay. Now, okay, so you're saying that you really relate to the just kind of the the gobbling up of knowledge, um, learning. Yes, yes, yes. Um now the core motive for the type five is to be competent, capable, and self-sufficient. How does that resonate with you?

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Absolutely, 100%, yes. Like I see little seven-year-old Angie needing to know that she can do everything on her own, you know, like absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Okay, okay, yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

And then you not want to depend on anyone.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yes, yep. That's some type five energy. Now, I have to uh we all so I talk about you know the same energy that fuels like these amazing qualities about each of us. It also can fuel um the some of our struggles and some of our the shadow sides. And for a five, this mayor, I would just be curious if you're willing to share what resonates. These are tendencies of a type five energy. Sometimes um they can be kind of seen detached, especially when people tend can get emotional. It gets kind of kind of heavy. Um, they don't always have as much sympathy, sympathy for personal issues or problems. They kind of have this like, show me the data, don't give me the drama energy. Um, they may hesitate to step out of their comfort zone in in fear of not being capable, competent, and not knowing the answer. They may not always want to collaborate with a team. Um, they just sometimes prefer to work alone, to work independently. Um, anything from there standing out and how you see it play out in your own life or in your own work that you're doing.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Um, I do I do not like working in groups. I can work in groups. It's not that I can't do it, but I prefer to work in smaller, intimate groups or one-on-one because I feel like I can get to know you more. I guess that goes down into you know wanting to know it all. You know, when there's a big group, I can only give a little bit of energy and attention to one small person, one person at a small amount of time. You can't get to know anyone that way. Yeah. Um, and then the um detached, um, my husband told me I was aloof when we first met. And I was like, that's absolutely I don't know why you thought that, like that's not it. But then I've come to realize, oh, I do pull away and detach myself and watch and observe more than I realized before, you know, but that's since I've learned that I just kind of watch that because I don't want to be that way all the time. But when I do really need that time alone, I take it, I have no qualms about if if I hurt your feelings because I need I need 15 minutes to myself, that's on you, you know. Like I can't, you know. Um yeah. The thing with um not dealing with big emotions, I like to deep dive deep into like why are you feeling that way? How how do you act when you feel that way? Is this something you want to keep going? You know, is this something you want to shift? Are you happy with it? Um, big feelings don't scare me, but big uncontrollable feelings and drama all the time push me away for sure.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Okay, and so this is another reason why I thought it was so interesting to would be so interesting to talk to you because um, well, you said two things, Angie, that I want to circle back to. One was um that kind of just what you just said about the big feelings. And, you know, sometimes these types tend to kind of get these labels or like they would be good at this, they would not be good at this, they would be great at this, not at this. And, you know, I think as a stereotype, type five being doing the really intense work that it sounds like you work with your clients on. I don't know, you know, the stereotypical five like kind of fits into that box. But I love what you're saying and that it's like, well, it's not about that, that's surface level stuff. We are talking about you're getting curious, like about the feeling, and you're not like allowing the feeling to take you over. It's like, why do you feel that way? Why do you think that? What is it about that feeling? So, even that I just think is so fascinating to kind of see how that lines up with that core motive and driver for the five, um, and how that can kind of show up. So that's really cool. And then something else you said, I think is really important for all of us to remember is you had said, um, oh, when you were talking about being detached and you were saying, Well, I try, you know, I am intentional about not being that way all the time. I don't want to be that way all the time. And that's really what it is. Um, when the more you start learning about your your Enneagram type or your human design type or whatever it is, it's like it just shines light on your blind spots and where you're on autopilot. And then you can kind of come alive and choose to use it, like you said, when you need 15 minutes by yourself.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah. So I love hearing that. So I have a question about um the being in the head center. So five, six, and sevens are in that head center of intelligence, tend to kind of think before we feel um in our emotions or in our body. How do you see that show up for you? Is or does that resonate with you?

SPEAKER_01 15:28

It does. Um like uh when I'm feeling something, I notice myself asking, you know, why am I feeling this way? Is this an appropriate way to behave? Is this an appropriate way to respond? Um, is it okay? How can I talk to, how can I tell someone about this without that person getting upset or taking it the wrong way? You know, I definitely think before I speak, um I tend to speak pretty slowly. And some people think that it's me not interested, but that's completely not the case. I want to make sure I get my point across clearly, you know, so I definitely resonate with that.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah, yeah. What about when you are dealing with some sort of conflict or a challenge? You know, there's some types on the Enneagram who have meet it with emotional intensity, whether it's worry or sadness or anger. And then there's others, I'm in this category that's like, oh, positive spin, glasses half full, let's reframe it. And then there's others, our ones, threes, and fives, who tend to come at it with this competency energy. Like, I'm sure there's a we're we're reasonable, sensible adults. We just need to take some time and figure out what to do here, but like let's not have some drama. Um these sort of that that that kind of style shows up really interestingly in romantic relationships and friendships and family, but also even with clients or or in your team. How do you experience that as your personal experience as a type five? And then is there somebody or a situation that comes to mind that maybe had the opposite or a different style? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

So I would say 90% of the time, I'm like, I'm sure there's a reason for this. Everybody, you know, everybody's doing the best they can with the resources they have. That person didn't mean anything about, you know, by it. And I can, you know, keep myself level, you know. But there's 10% where I go straight to four, because I'm definitely waiting for I go straight to four. I'm just like, oh my God, everything is terrible. This is the end of the world. Nobody likes me. What is happening? Just we have to shut it all down. And then I'm over it in like 10 minutes. Once I get all that out, and then I'm like, ugh, okay, that's that's before coming out. Okay, it's just part of who I am, you know, because that part was, you know, the emotions were one of those things as a child, you know, don't show your big emotions. I would get in trouble for that. So it's still, you know, when it comes out, I'm like, ugh, you know, I try not to let it happen, but knowing that that is part, that's just part of my design and how I made makes it easier for me to let it out and not be embarrassed, you know, because it needs to come out one way or another. So sometimes it's big and sometimes it's not.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Yeah. And and I think that's a good point too, Angie, is that um, you know, especially in the beginning, like the typing process, I think for the Enneagram, out of all the different assessments and personality kind of insights out there, can be can sometimes be the most frustrating because it's really a self-identification process. And I think one of the things that people get tripped up about is that behavior versus motive, and then thinking, well, I don't behave like this all the time. So I can't be a five if I sometimes get emotional. So I love adding in the dimensions with the wings and then the arrows and your subtypes and all this other stuff because it really paints a more complete picture, not at all complete of you as a human, but gives some more depth and dimension outside just the stereotypical type. So I love that you said that. I was gonna ask you about your wing anyway. Um, so I have a question about stress. Um, the five sometimes will move to a seven after they've exhausted all their own defense mechanisms and coping strategies, they'll make a lateral stress move to take on some of the behaviors, not turn into a seven, but the behaviors of a stressed-out seven, which can kind of be scattered and kind of frantic all over the place, hard, unable to focus, which is a superpower of a five normally. Um, is that something that you see show up for you, or what does stress look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Okay, so that is something what you just said, I didn't realize that being frantic when I get stressed out my five coming out negatively. And the way you said that can be a superpower for fives. I realized, you know, a little while ago that me not being able to like stay on one thing is not a bad thing. It's just the way I'm made. But I also noticed when I get overwhelmed, it's because there's too much I I'm seeing too much at one time. And I just you just you just said it very clearly. So yeah. Um, but I do notice when I get stressed and I'm frantic that I when I just you know just take a minute, calm down, and remember, okay, how can I you how can I flip this so that it's a working for me and not against me? Because right now I'm just trying to do too many things. What can I take off? What needs to be focused on? What's extra right now? Yeah, you know, yeah, it can be my superpower.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It can be it's that same energy, the same energy that fuels the strengths, fuels, you know, the challenges and the struggle side. So that's real. Um, and and I yeah, I relate to that so much, you know, being in that head center. Like when I started to learn about my type and then that center of. intelligence piece, I was like, oh my gosh, like this makes so I didn't know that everybody wasn't like living in their head at all times. Um right. So yeah. So our, you know, my work has been to get more in my body and connect with my emotions and how am I feeling, not how do I think I'm feeling. So yeah, the, the, the fives and sevens have a lot in common in that area. Okay, last question about the the five. The other side of that is we have um we can take on a like the positive character. We can take on the positive characteristics of both of our arrows, but there tends to be one that's called like your growth arrow or integration arrow. And I know there's sometimes like with Enneagram in the Enneagram world there's debate like is that true or not? I have noticed it show up for me. For the five, it you move to take on the the qualities of a healthy eight, which can be really bold and direct and decisive and um also very healthy boundaries normally but maybe more energy and um you know a more confidence do you does that resonate with you or how do you see yourself like as you're growing as a business owner, as a human being what if any of those qualities do you notice or how do you know hey I'm growing this is what growth looks like for me well I completely agree with everything that you just said about the healthy aid.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

I'm recognizing those patterns showing up more in my life in the last like year or two. Before I don't know if I would have recognized that at all. But since I would say yeah in the last year or two I've put up boundaries which were very scary for me before I had none. Putting up real boundaries and sticking to them which is the hardest part when you've never had boundaries before when you once they're up they're up and that has created so much space and confidence for myself. And like just things are coming to me now that I you know step up and actually speak confidently with those boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

So boundaries are huge for me they are you know yeah they are I mean especially I think for for women and I I think even you know moms working moms because then it's like oh you have all these expectations from society your family your friends your partner kids you know clients and it is hard to to kind of navigate those boundaries and not feel a certain way about them. So I love hearing that I think a lot of people can relate to that. I want to talk a little bit about the work that you do and um I know that you have a framework. Would you be willing to tell us so I want to know well first tell us about the framework and then I have a follow-up question for you. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

My framework is called the Mahal method um it is loosely based around NLP and um uh shadow work, inner child healing all these modalities of things that I've learned throughout the years all combined into one basically what happens is I would say the first two times we meet I'm asking you all these questions and I'm just getting your story like why are you here? You know normal questions why are you here? What is it you want? And by the third time we meet each other I'm like okay time to rip the band-aid off and I ask the real questions so that you can really see what it is that you are responsible for and what you're not responsible for because once you learn what you're not responsible for you I mean that's pretty freeing for a lot of people um what another thing we do is around around the six week mark we go to time techniques which is where we go back I put you through a hypnosis we go back on your timeline you know depending on how you feel and believe and everything you go back to your childhood while you were in the womb during pregnancy previous lives previous generations um and we get rid of the root cause of anger sadness hurt fear guilt and anything else that I have heard you say throughout the weeks prior that I noticed you know like resentment shame um overwhelmment um things like that um so it's really getting to the really really deep root cause of whatever it is that's holding you back so you can do and be and have what you want rather than just living on autopilot from everybody else's stories and needs and wants and expectations of you.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

One of my clients she feel I asked her you know how things have been after after we were completed completed with our sessions and she said I feel like I have come back to myself I feel like I've met myself for the first time like I always she said I always knew this person was there but I had no idea how to get to her and I was like that's beautiful yeah so yeah I just that's what it is yeah yeah deep feet down diving to what drives you yeah and I liked how you really had it clearly defined like body mind soul and then you literally have like you have this beautiful image with like integrative health nutrition and then um was it NLP I think was at the top and um to me I was like oh this is so clear like how all of this stuff works together and like what you're doing and one of my favorite things um to work with my own clients on is developing their framework to be able to more clearly explain what they do and to have that visual. So I love seeing that on yours how what was that process like for you putting all of that together? Like how did that your framework come together for you?

SPEAKER_01 29:25

It came together because I you know I had so many different pieces of ways I can help anyone you know and it was for me well I'm a health coach and I hypnosis and I do NLP and I have all this experience doing shadow work and decolonization work and all of these things. So I was like what is this you know I I remember I was watching assault and I was like that's what I need to do I need to put these pieces together because it's body mind and soul but people who don't speak that way won't under won't get that so how can I make it clear for a logical you know computer person like my husband yeah how can I make him understand what I'm doing if I can make him understand it then that's then I've done it.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

So I put that together and I was like does this make sense to you and he was like get it I got it I was like all right cool great got it yeah so I'm gonna I'm gonna recommend um I'll have you share your website at the end but I'm gonna recommend um listeners check that out because I it's right on your website and it's a great example and um I think that that sometimes can help us for those of us who are like well exactly what you said like what am I doing with all this experience and expertise that doesn't seem related um is there a way to piece it together to create like this framework, this path, success path, whatever it might be for you. So I I loved what you had on your website about that. And then you know you call it your it's your signature method. So I love that. You had also I noticed on your which I I thought this was brilliant Angie on your Instagram page you share client success stories on your highlights. And there was a woman who was sharing a success story and she had talked about um unworthiness and feeling stuck not making progress um and being able like holding on to all these negative stories and emotions and which just from like a business perspective that's so genius to make sure that you are including client testimonials in the success stories. But um with unworthiness and um that kind of feeling stuck like I'm not ready or I'm not good enough. What do you well like what are some of the reasons that you have seen like how does that happen to us because it's like we're all born worthy and then we have these stories and that you know the Enneagram has insight into some things on that but I also know you do a lot of that in your own work with NLP and some of the other techniques you use but where where where does some of that come from and what can we do what can we do about it I would say that comes up mostly with women I mean it does show up in men but almost every single woman I work with has those feelings of unworthiness you know and not being able to be enough usually um we can get to the root cause of a specific event or a few specific events you know we'll work through the emotions through those events um there's a way with NLP and time techniques to get you out of like you are not reliving the situation you are looking at it from a third person perspective looking down at the event and you're just watching it as a movie instead of living it in your body so you can see like okay so this is the lesson from that you know this is the lesson from that and you we reframe those lessons into I am statements positive affirmations you know it usually comes you know from childhood um sometimes it comes from uh in the being in the womb a lot of times it comes from past lives or past generations being carried in the DNA um it has been proven through epigenetics that something that happened to your great great great great great grandmother 14 generations ago if it has not been healed through the generations it's going to come to you as a you know as something that you have to heal or live or you know work through so it will keep getting passed down until that incident that feeling that story that belief is changed into you being whole and you believing you are whole even though this thing happened it did happen for your highest good and it's a when you find out what that lesson is and how it has helped your story and the family before after you know you then that story is it's like check done let's move on to the next chapter okay so it sounds like it's a lot of us have this story that we have adopted as a truth and what you're saying is through these different ways you we start to get curious and ask questions and like where did this come from and kind of I love what you said about stepping outside the story and watching it and kind of detaching yourself from from that story. Yes. So this is a topic that I know we could probably have a whole nother episode all about being stuck um this is something that comes up a lot someone has an idea they have an inspiration they get motivated to create something to start a podcast to share their offer um to start their business whatever it might be to start a side hustle and then for some reason it's like oh I'm not making progress um I'm I'm stuck um what go ahead who defines stuck oh so good I need something good yeah say more about that yeah who defines stuck and who defines what progress has to be everybody uh success is not linear if you're a business person you know that we know that to the core so success and healing is not linear for anyone it never looks the same something you do that brought you great success might be a detriment to me kind of like um IIN you know something that's good for one person doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be good for you um success it defend success looks different for everyone success looks different for you depending on the season of life you're in you know I know for me um I was a massage therapist a hairstylist before stepping into this role as a coach and in the beginning I was measuring my success through you know through all the ways that we measure it but then I realized oh I wasn't a mom then I didn't have a husband then I was 20 and 30 years old with just me myself and I and I could dedicate 24 hours to my business I just can't do that now nor do I want to because my family is very important to me you know so just figure out what your priorities are um and is this something that has to be done now can it be done later um how can you share the time that you have with everything that's important to you and just get okay with the fact that you know you're going to make mistakes and it's going to take it it will probably take longer than expected but as long as you are learning and trying and taking a new step each time you realize something didn't work then just keep going there's a saying in an LP there is no failure only feedback that was huge you know so the feed you know just knowing that if it's if you get an idea that idea was given to you by source God universe whatever word you use to describe that and it's yours and it's up to you to make it happen. It's not going to go to somebody else because it went that idea went to you for a specific reason because you have something that can make that spark into a reality and whether it happens now tomorrow or 10 years from now when it's the right time for it to come out it will come out so let go of the just let go of the ex uh the expectations you know and just know it'll happen on its time and everything is okay this is why they they call the five sometimes the thought leaders because I you know it's I love that I just to before you even figure out like why are you why are you stuck like are you actually stuck? Like what does that actually mean? Yeah yeah and loss of you to say you're stuck yeah yeah and I think the the point that you just made too about you being single and working 24 hours or whatever you know just you know that being your sole focus um is definitely something we forget about I forget about it too believe me it's like well gosh I did this 10 years ago or I was at this level 10 years ago or this person that I'm following on Instagram is doing this. But you know we don't know their priorities, their other commitments and so that's a really good point. There's um I talk to a friend regularly and we're we're on this soapbox now about if you can do it, I can let's see if I can do it, you can do it marketing like look what I accomplished, look what I did, and you can do it too.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

And not that that's necessarily bad but sometimes I think it's missing your personal story and it's in your like you were saying general I mean it I mean there's all kinds of things that play into it right um and just to to question what is true for you like like like you were saying yeah you have to know what your priorities are because if you go with what other people's priorities are you're never going to get there anyway because there are so many expectations and there might not even even be any expectations put on you but you think that there are expectations put on you. So as long as you know your expectations for yourself and the parameters you can make that thing happen then just go with that. You're good.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Yeah yeah so good so good um I want to as we start to kind of wrap this up I want to just hear if whatever you're willing to share a little bit about your journey kind of circling back to that to getting where you are now and the the absolutely nonlinear path that all of us are taking and um if it's okay I I'll I'm gonna bring this up and if not we can edit it out. But you had shared um a post, I think it was last year, about kind of falling short and feeling like you're never doing enough or doing it right and wasting thousands of dollars and feeling like maybe you don't get an ROI and just wondering if you'll ever be the woman that you want to be um and wondering gosh did I have my dream too late what like would you just take us back to that point because I think there may be some of us who are there or maybe who are trying to get out of that place or maybe coming to that place. And I just think that you what you said um like I have been there I could relate so much to and I would I would just I I I thought that was an important story to share for others just to feel like you're not alone like we are all going through this.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

Yeah so I remember that making that post because I've been feeling that way for a while I made that post I I think I think a day or two after my 40th birthday because I was like okay so this is an important year. I feel great but I don't feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be in my career you know I have spent so much money on these certifications on these personal development courses on equipment you know I have decided to not go back behind the chair because I am pretty sure my expertise is helping people because I'm pretty sure that's why most of my clients stayed with me. Yeah and I gave a good haircut but um like I thought I was supposed to be further ahead than I was because I was living and being on other people's uh timeline for me which I don't even know what their timeline was it's not like anybody was like okay you need to be here by the year you know but I felt like I was so behind and then a little like I just kept feeling that way and then I realized oh I am 40 years old I'm um Homeschool mom. I, you know, my husband is in the air force, so sometimes he's gone, sometimes he's home. I have all these different things going on. I cannot compare myself to myself when I was 25, when I was 30. Because I'm not that same person. I have grown so much since then. And that's the whole point of living, right? To grow. So if growth means the you know, the business, the money, the clientele, things like that have to be a little bit lower right now because I'm learning something new. Motherhood, you know, then that's okay. As long as I can be the best person to myself, to my family, to my clients, to my friends, then that's what isn't that's what's important to me. I just want to be a good person and help people when I can. And eventually it will work, you know, eventually it will pay off. And I feel like it has uh definitely blossomed since I wrote that post. Um, I think before then I was trying to make my Instagram very perfect and like, you know, this is my business. I'm a business person. Um, this is all this stuff, you know. But since I have slowed down on posting and being out there on social media all the time. And when I do show up, I'm posting real stuff. Like that has opened up so much for me. So just knowing that, you know, it's going to happen if you want it, just might not be on your timeline.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

Yeah. Yeah. And that's a great point too. And just, you know, sometimes I think we do judge ourselves by, you know, the career and the work, and then kind of forget about all the other stuff. Um, because that's not maybe what's top of mind, or that's not what we're seeing with the people that we're following. Um, but I I follow this guy on LinkedIn and he was saying a couple of weeks ago, like his definition of growth is not doubling his income, it is maintaining his income and actually decreasing his working hours by half. Yes. Yes. And I was like, oh my God, that's my new, yes, you just put into words like these jumbled thoughts. But yeah, that would be amazing. Like, yes, there's growth, but it doesn't always have to be, you know, what we think it is. Like we can make up our own.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

It's not always monetary, it's not always more certifications or awards. Those things are nice, but that's not all it is, you know.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So I I told you at the beginning of this before we hit record, like I have a million more questions. I'm so interested in the actual work you do. We didn't even really get into my NLP questions, um, but I think that's okay. We'll have to we'll have you back on to talk about that specifically. Um, as we start to kind of close this conversation for now, um, what advice based on your experiences and your lessons learned would you have for somebody who maybe was where you were a year ago writing that post? What what words, what what thoughts would you offer?

SPEAKER_01 47:39

Um I have a friend who is going through this right now. And, you know, I've shown her that post. Um, and I've let her know that I'm here for her as long as she wants my advice and help and support, I can be there for her. But she um she has to know that she has to ask for help. She you cannot do it alone. I think that's one thing I was doing back then. I was trying to do it all alone. I wasn't asking for help as a five.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say, I didn't want to say what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_01 48:18

Yeah. So you know, just ask for help if you need it. It doesn't make you worse or less than or anything, but in fact, it opens more people up to want to help you because they know that you want it. So just knowing that if you want it, it's there. We all go through these things. This is that's the things that nobody shows you on Instagram, those are the things that nobody shows you on Facebook and wherever it is that you're on social media, you know. Don't get caught up in the highlight reel, because the highlight reel is curated for a reason, you know, but that's not the life that I live, nor is it the life that I want to portray. You know, I want you to know I've been there and I've I'm getting out of it, you know. Like there are days that I go back to it, but then I remember, oh yeah. I have I have other things too. There's I am multifaceted, you know. So just know it's there. Or like it's yours, it's gonna happen. And not to put so much pressure on yourself, you know. You're you don't have it's if it's just you and you don't have a team, that you know, your hours are limited. We are in fact not Beyoncé because she has a huge team and millions of dollars. We cannot compare ourselves to those people, you know. So just take it one day at a time.

SPEAKER_00 50:02

Yeah, yeah, that's a great example of that kind of like, well, if they can do it, you can do it kind of thing without understanding the zoomed out picture of what else is going on. Yeah, yeah. I will say, um, I just want to reiterate the asking for help. Um, I have found just personally, like one of the best, I don't know if it's like you call it a sales tactic or a sales strategy, is just literally saying, hey, I'm doing this. I'm looking to do more of it. If you know of anybody, like like let let me know or like give them my name. Or I think sometimes we think exactly where you were. I've I've thought that too. Like we have to like somehow do it completely from scratch, completely on our own. Um, it we have to earn it and you know, all these all these things. It has to be hard. And if it's easy, it's not real.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Um like we have to make the birthday cake from scratch with beautiful fond it, and we cannot pay someone else to do it. Right, right. It doesn't cannot buy the cake in the box because it's not the same. It's gonna be eaten, it's gonna be delicious.

SPEAKER_00 51:17

Yeah. Yeah. So if you can get the box, yeah, get the bookcake, get the pre-made cupcakes, whatever it is. Uh well, I have two more questions for you. Um, the first one is for anybody who wants to know more about your methods, um, your the method, um, and then the work that you do, how your help clients, where are you hanging out? Where can they learn and connect with you?

SPEAKER_01 51:42

Um, I'm mostly hanging out in my newsletter. Uh, you can sign up for that at um www.themclassicwoman.com. Um, there you can learn about all the services I'm offering and the work I do. You can sign up for the newsletter. There's so much on my website. I love it. It's fun. Um, and then also on Instagram at Mahal Angie. Okay, uh it's M-A-H-A-L-A-N-J-I.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Okay. And then while I have all your links, we'll add those on the show notes. So if you want to scroll down and click on that. Um, and then I always ask a couple of um rapid fire questions. We've had a lot of um, we've had a lot of questions. So I'm just gonna put you on the spot for one more question. And what I want to know, like what is a book that you would recommend to the listeners who either mindset getting over this unworthiness, a strategy book. What's something that you would recommend we add to our shelf?

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Um, my favorite book is The Alchemist. That book is just beautiful. Every time I read it, it's a different book. You know, different lessons come through it. And I usually don't read those types of books. I usually read books you can learn from. Like text, like I'm always learning. So for me to finish that book, I was like, wow, this is just a story. That's it's just so different than what I'm used to, but it is it's like a living book. Yeah, everybody I've given it to feels the same way when they read it multiple times. Um, another book that I think is really great to read is Um The Whole Brain Child or No Drama Discipline. Those are um in the parent section, but I think those are books that could and should be rebranded because it is the basis of those books got me to NLP to learn how to speak to anyone, to resolve conflicts within yourself, within others, you know, get the action you want done. Just those those two books are amazing.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

I love that. That that's um, yeah, I wouldn't think to pick that up necessarily for for the for that reason, but you're so right. Um so okay, so we'll we'll have some new recommendations for us all to add to our already really long Amazon wish list. Exactly. But it feels good to get some good recommendations, and then that way you always have something. So um, and then is there anything else? I know we could have gotten into so many other things, but is there anything else for this specific conversation that you would like to say or share to kind of make this feel this conversation feel complete?

SPEAKER_01 54:43

Yeah, um when I first learned about the Enneagram, I I would say it was probably in my 20s, 25 year old, 25, something like that. And I was like, this is way too, I don't understand. But I knew it was something that I would probably come back to. And I've noticed throughout the years, you know, people bring it up, whatever, it'll be brought up. And I remember taking a test, you know, one of the personality tests a long time ago. And I was like, this doesn't sound like me. I don't get it. Like, how is it like I can't take this quiz because it's me. I need somebody else to answer this question for me, you know. And then I was like, this is crap, whatever. And then later on during NLP, somebody was like, Oh, you're a three, you're a three. And then they got into an argument or a discussion. No, she's a one, she's a one. And I'm like, why don't you tell me what these numbers mean? And I'll tell you if I feel like it's, you know, if it's me. They both told me their uh perspectives. And I was like, I don't know about that, I don't know about that. So that got me into the deep dive, you know. Well, not so deep. I'm I am I've been learning slowly because I know how my brain works. Yeah, I know I was like, I'm trying to learn this NLP stuff right now. If I go down the Enneagram number rabbit hole, I'm not gonna have time and space for this. So I've just learned little bits as it like shows up. And yeah, just it won't always be exactly what you think it is, but then the more you learn about it and how the numbers work for other people in your life and how you can make those relationships better because it's not just for you, you know. I know my husband is a nine, so I work with that. I haven't figured out my son. I try to like save that for always save him for last because I'm like, I don't want to type him yet.

SPEAKER_00 56:48

But it can work for anyone, yeah, yeah. And it is um, you know, it you can kind of get a sense for others like energy, like, oh, they're putting out some type three energy or vibes, or oh, that's some that's a type four move right there. But it is difficult to say, oh, you are this, because at the end of the day, only really you know your your motives. Um, so I'm glad that that got you to to dive deep into it um or deeper. And um, I'm sure we'll continue to nerd out um virtually together over all the things, including the Enneagram. So I'm so thankful that we got connected. I was actually going to give a shout out to Jess O'Connell, who was our yes, she so she is um, she was in episode 18 talking about using the science to promote your products and services, which is so type five, also. Um, and she is identifies more as a type five wing six. So it was really fun to kind of hear how that type four um wing kind of influences your type five energy. Um, and just good to connect in general. Yeah. Cheers to networking. Um, well, thank you, Angie, for all that you shared for um just being so open and just I I appreciate it. I I'm really interested and just love you know learning more about the work that you're doing and um hearing your own just you know challenges that do come up and just how open you've been about about them because I do think it feels um like not so lonely when you know, like, oh gosh, yeah, this is someone else's success path. So thanks for agreeing to be on here and all that you share. And um, I hope the listeners will definitely connect, reach out, and let you know as well what they took away from this. So thank you, Angie. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 58:44

Thank you.