SPEAKER_00 0:01

My special guest today is Sheila Frierson. And Sheila is the president of North America Employees Share Plans at Computer Share, which is a global company in the financial services industry. She's also the founder of Liberate Collective, which she'll talk more about that at the end, how to get involved. But it's a collective of women from all kinds of backgrounds on a journey to liberate each other from what holds us back. We all have a few things. And then it's meant to be really inclusive. And this group does not have any sort of financial commitment. So stick around at the end for sure to find out how to join the group for networking, to connect with other like-minded professional women, and then also to get access to her monthly trainings. Sheila was also brave enough to join as an on-air typing session guest. So she went through the typing process. We and then just was willing to let us record it, let me record it. Um, she went through the Enneagram Institute's 144 questionnaire. Um, it takes about 20 or 30 minutes to complete this. It is much more in-depth. I use it for my paid typing sessions versus the free quizzes out there because it is so in-depth and complex. I think it's more reflective and gets more to the core of why you do what you do, not just what you do, um, which is what the Enneagram is all about, right? So we looked at her top three results, which came back as a type two, the helper, the giver, a type seven, the enthusiast, the multitasker, and the type eight, the protector of the challenger. So we'll get into um narrowing that down. Halfway through, we we end up eliminating one of them. And so the focus then is just um between really her top two. And uh I think you'll regardless if one of these three is in your top results or one that you're kind of teetering between, I think you'll just hear some, you know, I think you'll be helped by the questions, the things to reflect on, kind of the this or that, or different things to consider. That is part of the process is uh allowing yourself to think about and reflect on things that maybe you haven't before. That's why I love the typing process for that very reason and to realize, oh my gosh, that's a thing. I didn't even know that was a thing. Not everybody does that. Okay. Then um, yes, that it's there's another clue right there. So it's really a kind of a clue finding process. Sheila does end up feeling pretty confident about one of them at the end. So you'll have to stick around and listen to that one. Um, but I do appreciate Sheila. I would highly recommend getting connected with her over on LinkedIn, Sheila Frierson. Her links are in the show notes here. She's such an inspiring example for other professional women, other leaders, other women wanting to start their own passion projects. Um, so absolutely you'll have to uh let her know that you listened to this, what you got from it, and then stay connected with her over there. So, without further ado, let's get into this on-air typing session with Sheila Frierson. Welcome to the Enneagram MBA Podcast, a show for aspiring and growing entrepreneurs and unfulfilled employees who know they are capable of playing bigger. If you are wanting to identify your gifts, find your purpose, do work that matters, and create a ripple effect that goes beyond yourself, you're in the right place. Each week you'll get resources, strategies, and support to help you get to know yourself, to get to know and understand others like your future clients, and help you get known so that you can reach more people with your gifts and purpose. So grab your notebook or open up your notes app, and I will see you in class. Well, welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram MVA podcast. Today is a fun episode, like they all are, but we are going to get into an on-air typing session, which I know is so helpful for those of us who are still trying to navigate and figure out what that type is. Hearing somebody else kind of go through the process can be really helpful. So, really grateful for our guest today, Sheila Frierson, who is the president of North America Employee Share Plans at Computer Share. And she is also the founder of Liberate Collective, which we're going to hear a little bit more about in just a second. So, first of all, Sheila, welcome and thank you for being willing to go through this process.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

So tell us just really quickly before we get into it, and this ends up being part of this process. Um, what are you, what do you do right now with work? I know I shared your title, but what exactly does that mean? And then I want to hear about your project, the Liberate Collective, as well.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Sure. Um, so as president of our North American employee share plans business for Computer Share, I'm a part of our global executive team. And I really manage the business here in North America, which is a part of the global business. So it's everything from ultimately being responsible for our PL and you know all the costs and revenue that go into running the business. Um I'm an expert in this industry, which is what got me here today in employee share plans, um, but also um, you know, uh a leader. So I really look to take the vision of where we're going overall globally and um really working with our amazing staff here in North America and working with them to fulfill that mission.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

I love it. Okay, okay. And I have some leadership questions for you in just a minute. And then we had talked previously, so I know a little bit about Liberate Collective, but this is something that you started kind of as a passion project to fill, you know, to fill something. And would you just fill us in a little bit about that as well?

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Absolutely. Um, Liberate Collective is something, you know, I've always been passionate about women, of course, and really just helping women lift each other up. Um, and many years ago, I, you know, we were celebrating International Women's Day. And at that time, I thought, oh, you know, I want to get a women's group going in my own company, which I did. We started our Women for Women Network and now we have it globally. Um, but then I was, I always thought, you know, I want to do something also outside of my own firm to bring women of all types together. Um, and I had been looking for a network where I could, you know, kind of use, you know, we're all on LinkedIn, we have all these connections, but what are we really doing to connect with those people? And um, and I know there's a lot of networks out there that cost a lot of money to be in. So I thought, you know, I want to be inclusive, I want to put something out there. So I just last year during the summer, I put out a note to my network and said, hey, I'm gonna start this women's group. I didn't have a name for it at the time, and said, if you want to join, let's get this going. And we started with about 40 women. Um, we did some introduction calls and um and my commitment was no one had to pay. It was all inclusive. We're here to just help lift one another up. Um, and we do monthly speakers. So my goal is to meet women who are doing really cool stuff who want to share what they're doing, help other women, and um just pay it forward. So, you know, this last year in January, um, about six months in, we um got our website off the ground. Um and we are, you know, just really excited. It's it's just it's just a network of women that are really just trying to come together and learn. Um, and the sky's the limit. So um, you know, I'm I'm really excited about, you know, kind of continued um participation um and just meeting more women in general.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yeah, I I love that. And the the listeners can can check it out in the show notes, but it's spelled so creatively. It's L-I-B and then her, H E A H E R A T E. So Lib Her Ray Collective, which I think is just so so fun. Um so okay, so now we have that done. We kind of have that foundation where where you're at now, and we'll come back to some of that. But now we're just kind of going to tune everybody out and we're going to dive into your Enneagram results. So this is a really fun process. Um, it's it's it's a process for sure, unlike so many other assessments out there. You don't just get a result spit back at you. It's really a self-identification process, which can be frustrating to some people because it can seem like, oh gosh, I don't know. I just want somebody to tell me. But it involves some reflection and some some honesty. So I always kind of lead with that. But I'm going to share my screen, Sheila. And uh you had taken the results or you had taken the assessment, and your top three results were type eight, the challenger was the first one, and then type seven, which is the enthusiast, and then the type two, um, known as the helper. And uh let's see here, share my screen. Okay. And um, this is really interesting because there's some connections and definitely some similarities. Um, you also had type nine, the peacemaker, and then type three, the achiever, come in um below that. Just how there was sometimes I'll focus on the top four, but just kind of how yours came out pretty strongly with those top three. We're gonna take a look at those. Um so I had sent you um a little snapshot of what each meant and just kind of the core driver and the core fear. Um, before we get into some of the questions, I always just like to kind of check in on and what did you see that stood out to you right away that you were like, oh man, that's pretty spot on, or no, I don't feel that.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

No, I I mean it absolutely resonated with me. Um, I come from a background, you know, we were um, you know, pretty poor, as I guess. Um, you know, um we we were evicted from homes, you know, we I didn't come from much. So I knew as a child, um, you know, I was always kind of knowledgeable of what was going on. And as I started to get older, even as a child, I kind of was like, this isn't really my life, right? So I always had this pull to like do more to achieve more. And um, and as a middle child too, it was always kind of that like, if I just always do good and you know, like get good grades and do this, it was like that kind of pleasing and doing good. Um and as I got older, um, I, you know, was the first to go to college in my family and stuff like that. So, you know, that that kind of I kind of fell also into a caretaker type of role. So there's been, you know, to kind of look at all of these things together, it's like, yep, that resonates. You know, I'm always kind of the strong person, um, helping people ambitious, you know. So it didn't didn't surprise me to see these come up.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Okay. Okay. And yeah, it's really, I'm gonna show you a visual in just a second, um, because all three of these are actually have a connection um in some ways. So it is an interesting top three combination, which made me think it's most likely one of these three that it's gonna end up being. Um, I have some questions for you. And um, I told you before this, you don't have to prepare anything, just be willing to take an honest look or be as honest as you want to be with yourself. Um, but we're going so not but, but so now we're gonna go through a couple of questions about each type. And I'm actually going to stop sharing my screen and I'll share it with you in just a second when we get through these. Now I know you answered a ton of questions to even get to here. I think there's 144 questions in this assessment. So I know that you have already done some reflection. So these will go maybe a little bit quicker. Um, but let me know where you're at with these kind of true or false, um, what feels most true most of the time. Um I tend to know what others need, and I'm the first one to step up however I can, true or false.

unknown 13:07

True.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Okay. Um, if I stopped serving people or taking care of my family, I have this fear that they may stop loving me or appreciating me.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

I guess I would say true to that. I mean, it's interesting. I'd like I'd like to not think that, but I I still am in that problem of like always stepping in and I'm trying to now grow into like let people figure it out for themselves. So probably somewhere in the mind that's there, even though I don't actually think I think that, but I think it must be there.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I um what about I absolutely hate being bored. In fact, I I can get anxious or feel things I don't like when I slow down. So I try to pack my schedule with lots of things to keep me busy.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

That's false. That's false.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Okay. Um, there are so many things, so many new exciting things in life to try. I want to try them all. I actually feel deeply deprived and unsatisfied if I feel like I'm missing out on something exciting.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

I think false. I think false.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

And I see life as kind of this survival of the fittest. This is why I must be independent and strong on my own.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Wow, that's interesting. I think, I think false. I think that that I think that's something that was a part of who I was as I was growing up and in my 20s and 30s, probably my 30s, but now I'm kind of in my mid-40s and I realize that that's not really what it's all about. And probably meditation has helped me get there.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Okay. Okay, that's interesting. Okay. Um, and this may be one of those same responses. Vulnerability is weakness, and I can only let my guard down when a few people who are closest to me.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

I would say also that's true, it's true because I am trying to learn to be more vulnerable. So I I mean, this is like this kind of shift of where I'm going in life. But I think in the past, I it's been very like, don't let people know where you're struggling because you've got to be the strong one for everybody.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Okay. Okay. What about I feel this intense energy and even like this fire inside me? It drives me to take control and be in charge and win at everything I do.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

True.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Okay. And what about okay? So while others may like it, it means the absolute world to me when others express their appreciation for me and how I take care of them. True. Okay. I really want and even feel a need for other people to see me as loving, kind, generous, and selfless.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

It's a question around motivation, right? Yeah. You know, and I again I don't think that's why I'm motivated to do things because I really want to see people achieve. So, you know, um, I don't think that's my motivation for you know helping people. Um, because it I I really just like want to see people happy. So it's not really about me per se. You see what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Um what about it, let's see, I avoid unpleasant feelings as much as humanly possible. I mean, who wants to feel sad or upset?

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Yeah, um I don't know. It's like I don't repress things. I'm generally a very happy person. So um, I mean, I guess there could be some truth to that, but I tend to not like if something's bothering me, um, I just put it out in the open right away, you know? Um, so I tend to, I don't let things linger like with my husband or someone, it's like if it's bothering me, let's talk about it now.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Okay, okay. That is these are all great clues. So I have a follow-up question to that, Sheila. Would you consider yourself more of an optimistic person or more of a realist type of person? Realistic, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

I think I'm probably tend to be more optimistic.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Okay, okay. Um do you ever get this feedback? Is does this feel true? People sometimes see me as flighty, but my busy lifestyle isn't chaotic to me. It's fun.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

I don't I don't think anyone would call me flighty.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Okay. Okay, so we're narrow we're narrowing down some things, just a few more questions. Um injustice is wrong, and I don't tolerate it. I'm not afraid to fight.

unknown 18:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Okay, people tell me I'm confrontational and harsh, but I just think everyone else is too sensitive.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Well, that's an interesting one. I think I would say, I think I'm gonna say false because I really am in tune to the who the sensitive people are, so I kind of adjust how I'm gonna approach them. I don't know just like one size fits all the communication.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Okay, okay. Um, two more questions on here. I push myself hard, always working towards the next level. I thrive on feeling passionate and powerful.

unknown 18:59

True. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

And then let's see, highlight that. Okay, and then last question up here. Um if I'm having a bad day and somebody else expresses they are too, I'll usually postpone my feelings so that I can be there for them.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

I think that's true. Um I think, yeah, for the most part that's true.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Okay. Okay. So I'm gonna pull this back up, Sheila, and we're going to I I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna reflect some things back to you, and then you tell me what feels true for you. Sure. So we just went through a list of questions that um I sometimes have a hard trouble time navigating um my Zoom and also talking at the same time. So just a second, here we go. Share screen. Um we just went through a couple of general questions for each of those top three types. And I highlighted, we didn't go through all of them, um, but I highlighted what you said was true in each of these. So for the type seven, there really wasn't anything that you felt really strongly about. Um, especially when you were talking about nobody would ever think of you as flighty. To me, that's kind of um sevens, that's a stereotyp, stereotype of sevens, um, but they have so much busy energy that they can come across that way and they can um be that way. But that was kind of a clue. So here's something interesting I want to show you, Sheila. I'm gonna pull this up. I know um if you're listening, you can't hear this, but a type two and a type eight are connected on the Enneagram. And um, it's really interesting. Let me pull this up because an eight goes to a two in growth. So they will grow as that type eight, and then they'll also take on some of those behaviors of a really healthy two. And then the opposite is true for those that most identify with the type two when they're stressed and after they exhaust their defense mechanisms and coping strategies, they tend to take on the unhealthy qualities of the eight. There's also good that you can tap into. So they both have that. Um, but just as I pull this up, talking about the motives of each of those two to kind of help us narrow it down, that type eight is motivated to feel powerful and strong and be in control really to protect themselves and others from injustices. And then the type two is really motivated to be um loved, wanted, appreciated. And the thing that they're running away from is anything that would cause them to be unwanted, unappreciated. You know, so they're going to to channel their activities, their their leadership style to be able to get that, just based on what I've said, is it what resonates with you and what feels not true.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

No, I mean, I mean, it's interesting. So like the type 8 and motivated to feel powerful and those kind of things. I mean, from you know, being very young, I can remember, you know, kind of writing, like I definitely wanted to be independent because um I didn't want to be in a poverty situation. I wanted to control that. So like I can remember from an early age, I don't want to be dependent on anyone because I don't want to uh anyone else to have control over my success, etc. So it's like feeling powerful in order to be protected. Um and I think when I'm helping people, it's like that's what I, you know, I want them to assert themselves so that they can have more control over their lives, right? So that that really resonates with me. Um, so it's interesting then to say how that we I think you said type eight goes to two in growth. Is that what you said? And then that's moving more to like being loved and being wanted. And as I think about um, you know, this journey I've been on over the past several years. Um and it's always kind of been there, but especially with my meditation practice and yoga and tapping into spirituality more, it is all about this oneness with um everyone, right? And so that when you say love and that kind of thing, that kind of you know is a much different motivation. I, you know, I don't, it's not so much, oh, I need to be loved. It's like I want to lead with love and have everybody have that feeling.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Yeah, yeah. And that is very different than being motivated by that because the motivation for um really the the twos and the threes and the fours have to do around worthiness. I'm worthy if people think this about me on the outside. It's different for each type. For the two, it's I'm worthy if people see me as being likable and warm and taking care of them, and I'm only as worthy as how much I'm helping. And if I'm not helping, who am I?

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Um well, I mean, that that's interesting if you get to kind of what I was describing, because um, because I'm so, you know, people will say, Oh, you're so put together. And like I have a lot of friends and family who come to me and they're like, I'm going through this and they want to, you know, know what I think, or you know, people will turn to me for help. I'm starting to learn in my life that, you know, it's funny, I have this like sticky note on my computer that says talk less. Um, and so reminding me like it's okay if somebody's actually asking for your help. Can you help me? Different than somebody's just sharing and they need somebody to listen. I don't need to jump in and fix it because there's probably that bit about me from my younger years where it was like I felt like I needed to fix everything. And if I could make everything okay, then maybe I would, you know, have more love. I mean, it's that's very like, you know, going into the recesses of the mind. But, you know, I mean, aren't we just, you know, the trauma and things that we have in our life kind of come up and affect how you act?

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Yeah. I mean, this gets it can get so deep with the enneagram. It's you know, it's it's used as in spirituality circles and churches and leadership, you know, it's so it you can get as as surface or as deep, but you're absolutely right, Sheila, is that the the um it's all about your behaviors and your pattern, not your behaviors, your um patterns and your thoughts and your reactions. And so it's this lens that you're using to look through the world that kept you safe, that got your needs met. And that's kind of how each of the nine types came about. And that's according to Enneagram Theory, how your type came about was what you how you processed the events of your childhood that now result in how you see the world today. Um, so it is it is deep. Um I'd like to, if it's okay with you, just ask a couple of questions about your leadership style and making decisions, because I think this could help too. Um so when um when you have a situation, I mean, sure, you don't have to talk about a specific one, but if you've had a situation in the past where maybe you've had to give some hard feedback to an employee, or maybe you've even had to let somebody go, or just make one of those kind of difficult decisions, as all leaders do. Um just I'll kind of leave it open. Like, how do you handle something like that?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Yeah, I mean, I'm I very much lead, you know, there's a mixture of my heart and my gut, you know. I mean, because at the end of the day, um I'm really all about the human being. And I know that there's so much that goes into a human just besides how they show up at work. Um, and I believe in transparent communication. Um, I mean, there has been times where, you know, so my leadership style wouldn't be to let something, you know, just culminate to a point where you just have this surprising, oh now you're fired, right? Like it would be a constant loop of feedback to understand, like, wow, you're not, you know, you're not really meeting your goals. Is this the kind do you like your job? You know, and it's kind of like, let's figure this out. You know, maybe this isn't your calling. Um, how could we, you know? So I've actually had a pretty good um run in my life of like sometimes doing that kind of thing, and then, you know, the employee just decides to look for another job, right? Because it's like, oh, actually, you know what, this might not be where I'm looking for. Um, so I try to, I'm very kind of heart-centric on that, but I do pride myself in understanding people. So it's like kind of coming to their level of of understanding.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

Okay, okay. That's helpful. What about when making just any kind of decision? Does do you does it come? I almost said the word, but do you feel it in your emotions? Like I just have a feeling that yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

I mean, I I I think I am a lot of times it's just I'll say it's my gut feeling. Yeah, okay. You know, and uh, you know, I have um my boss is very analytical and um and you know, so we're we're different styles. It's like wanting to know all the information. I'm like, okay, I've got 70% of the information, and this is what my gut's telling me. So I tend to not belabor decisions, you know. I tend to say, this is my decision, let's go. I'm I'm learning the pros and cons of that, um, but it's not really let me down. It's kind of helped me get to where I am today. So um certainly I do think it's it's valid to get data, you know, especially depending on the size of the decision and you know, the event. But yeah, it's usually a gut feeling I have based on, you know, just being aware of information coming at me on the regular.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Okay. Okay. That's a great clue. I'll come back to that in a second. And then what is your relationship with anger? And I know this is kind of, you know, can be kind of a personal question, uh, but do you feel like it's something that you can easily express and then maybe you express it and then you kind of get over it, or is it something that you repress?

SPEAKER_02 30:17

No, I'm I'm I'm very much uh like I I don't repress. I um I'm more of the if I'm getting mad, you're gonna know about it in the moment. And it takes a lot to get me mad. I mean, I'll be honest, like probably the most hot I'll get is with my spouse because you know, you're always with them and you've got kids and you're dealing with this. Um, but you know, like he would tell you, um, which is the talk less note I have as well, is I just air whatever's on my mind. You know, this is bothering me. I'm gonna let you know right now. So it's never like a big, you know, I've some people say, oh, we didn't talk for a few days. Like that wouldn't happen with me because, you know, I always just let people know what's on my mind.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Okay. Um, and then what about rules? Whether it's, you know, in this current role or just in in your past careers, do you feel like rules are made to be followed or rules are made to be broken? Or you can follow rules as long as they make sense to you.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

Yeah, probably that. I I mean, I, you know, I I have said, you know, just like ask for forgiveness later sometimes, you know. I mean, it's interesting, you know. I mean, I have to be really in my role, I have to be very, you know, have a good relationship with our risk, our, you know, our compliance, our legal. Um, and I know that there's reasons for things to be a certain way, but it's also, you know, you've got to kind of measure, well, is it, you know, but what's the whole risk reward scheme in the grand scheme of things? And again, that kind of goes to my gut, like, you know, is this bending this rule or breaking this rule gonna like land us in a lot of trouble? Or is it just a slap on the wrist? You know, and and and what's does it meet the better good, you know? So I tend to kind of, you know, where I know I can just act and ask forgiveness later. Um, you know, but I generally am not super impulsive to do things that I know would get me in trouble, you know, like I'm pretty, you know, pretty square on that.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Okay, okay, okay. Um, I like that ask for forgiveness later um method. Yeah, that's I I feel that sometimes too. Um when it comes to um like let's say even with your liberate collective, it sounds like you had the idea and you started it. Yeah. Um is that pretty consistent with how you handle other projects?

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Yeah, I would say so. Like it, uh I will get really passionate and jump into things. Um, I get bogged down if there's a lot of, you know, a lot of questions. Explain to me why you want to do this, or you know, put together uh put together a, you know, a three-page strategy document on what you're gonna do and why you're gonna do it. You know, I tend to be kind of like just jump into action. Like I can say, I can see like these three things need to be done. So let's just get off and do things. Um uh, you know, I know that that can sometimes be a little bit problematic for people who have the right to or want to know, like, oh, well, why are you doing this? So sometimes I have to remember not everybody can just like see inside my head and know, like, but no, I this makes sense to me. Um, but I am I'm more of just uh in some, I guess you'd call that impulsive in some ways, but you know, I'm like, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna start this group and I'll just post, I put just post it out on LinkedIn and like let's see who, let's see who joins, let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Okay, okay. I have one more question, and this is just really just just kind of for fun. Are you somebody who when you're getting emails that do you get offended if somebody doesn't say kind of the you know, the warm like, hey, hello, how are you? How's your day? Have a great day, regards, or do you prefer um, hey, I need this by eight o'clock. Thanks. Or is that offensive? Which which type of email would you prefer to get? Short and sweet without the niceties, or do you like some niceties?

SPEAKER_02 34:23

I don't get offended when the niceties aren't there. Um, I tend to give the niceties um uh, you know, just because you know, I like to, hey, I hope you're doing well, but I don't get offended when I don't get them. Um, you know, I guess it also is depending on the sender sometimes. Um, I I I will admit I have been known to like just get a get a question and I'm, you know, and it just like very, very like quick question and I'll but sometimes that's can be more like, are they questioning me? You know, so it's not so much, yeah. So I'm also learning that again, not everybody knows what's in my head and they're curious. So, you know, like you don't have to be so, but that's part of like not making assumptions, right? And taking things personally, um, which I which I try to remember to do. Um, but yeah, I don't necessarily need the niceties.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

Yeah, okay, just curious. Sometimes um that that's sometimes a fun question that I'll add in. Sometimes people are like, no, they have to have the hello, how are you? Um, and that's just and you know, that's such a like that's I'm just saying that for fun, but you know, that that's how people see the world so differently. And and when you know that about yourself, and then when you know that about others, like you said, in certain situations, you'll take the time to do that, you know. And and this has been really helpful um with my own clients because I know who likes that and prefers that. And then I have some people who just you they just want to know when we're meeting again. Just give me the date and the time. Um, so and then you just, you know, you can kind of communicate better on their terms too. Um, okay, so here's where I'm at, Sheila, with with this. Based on what you're saying, I'm getting a lot of eight energy. And um, does that feel does that feel true for you? Or does that is that yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 36:21

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

Okay. And what what is so interesting is that um, I was looking for my arrows here, is that because it sounds like you have been doing so much work, um, meditating and journaling, and I mean reflecting, the thing with the Enneagram that is so powerful, one of the things is that it's not a snapshot of where you are, and then that's where you are forever. It's more of like, here's what's motivating you, and then you have all this fluid. Um, you can be fluid with your number. So the other thing um that an eight has that just kind of has piqued my radar, I guess, um, is that they have this arrow to a type five, which is called their stress arrow. They can tend they tend to withdraw and stress, um, maybe become a little bit more, you know, skeptical and fearful, but they're gonna get betrayed, repress emotions, become a detached. But um, there's also a lot of focus and curiosity. And when you were saying, you don't you try not to get offended, you try and understand, oh, well, why does somebody think that? That just kind of tipped off like, oh, she's channeling some of that that five investigator energy. So, so there's that. Um, but the two and the eight, and and this is this is one of the most interesting pairings for women because the eight is has the greatest energy of all on the Enneagram. And as a man, you're the boss and you are a leader, but as a woman, well, those typically are not um, you know, um they're not characteristics that you know, you feminine characteristics, and so instead, um, you want to be that two, the helper. So a society like kind of wants women to be the giver, the helper, self-sacrificing, put others before yourself. So sometimes it gets tricky um with anybody who identifies as a two to start to uncover like, is this really your motive or is this who you feel like you should be? So that's always, but with you having that eight in there, um, it it is just a really interesting and such a such um just such a uh a beautiful kind of growth combination too, because you have that boldness and decisiveness, but then you have the compassion and the others focused. I heard somebody say it's compassionate confidence.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

I like that.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Yeah, I really liked that. Yeah. Um, so we can we can kind of talk about too. Now that you know this, potentially that you're an eight, what what do you do with it? Um what what am I supposed to do with this besides now go follow type eight Instagram? Um and uh you know, I think the first thing is just knowing that that's what that that that's kind of how you are seeing the world. It's like the lens that you put on. Um I have a meeting actually tomorrow with two co-business owners who are both women, and they were describing a challenge they had with one of their employees. They both happen to be type eight. And so them realizing that, oh my gosh, maybe I'm coming across as I think I'm passionate, but maybe my employee thinks I'm mad, you know, just even that awareness can can kind of um be helpful. You, it sounds like have done a lot of awareness and reflection. I would love to hear from you just kind of like where you're at right now, like what has been kind of insightful or or most surprising?

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Well, I'm laughing to myself as I'm looking at the screen and it talks about things that move to move to two. And like I shared with you on my screen here, I have a sticky note that says talk less. And I um one of my coaches actually was like, for the next 90 days, I want you to really like focus on talking less so that you others have to talk and you'll be amazed what you learn from others in that process. So this, you know, this bullet able to stand in background and all others to be powerful. I think that's, I mean, it's you know, everything is linked, right? So it doesn't surprise me that this would come up, but it it almost just um it just further, you know, further helps me to say, yes, this is what you need to do. This care for yourself more without working all the time. That's another thing that comes up for me is I I rarely I'm although I do a lot of self-care, there I'm always, always going and thinking about other, other people, you know. I for my um women's group, I kind of skipped the month of April and it's like plaguing me. Oh my gosh, I haven't sent out an April newsletter. I haven't, you know, and I'm like, oh, you know, what is this gonna mean to everybody, you know? And it's like, you know what, they're all probably busy too. And not even so when they I they do see the next thing, they'll say, oh, great, here. So um, so that it really is, it really kind of just helps cement these things that I've been thinking. Um, and to see it here is it's pretty amazing. Um, and then even just the lesson from number five, give things a little more thought before making a decision, you know, that, you know, I've I've been told that more at the at work, right? Yeah. You know, like I tend to also be very responsive and quick because I don't want emails to go by. I'm like, you know, or even in a meeting when someone asks a question, and my boss is really great about how he gives feedback. I mean, I love to give, I love to get feedback because I like to learn more about myself. But like you don't always have to have the answer as soon as someone asks. Like it's okay to say, hey, great question. Let me get more data and I can give you the answer, rather than, you know, just like that feeling like you just need to like be all knowing about everything. So very much resonates with me.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Yeah. Well, and that was something else that was a major clue for the eight, was that gut instinct. And that it's not, you're right, it's kind of interesting because it's not impulsive. Like a seven is just like kind of sometimes without come thinking impulsive jump into it, but it's really um action focused. So it's like, well, let's not sit still. This is what my gut's telling you. I can't explain why I know it's the right thing to do, but it's the right thing to do right now. So let's move forward. Which can be sometimes kind of frustrating. My my brother is a type A and he owns his own small business. And one of his biggest challenges has been letting other people be in charge of things because he can't always explain why he knows what to do because he just feels it and it's so frustrating. It's like, why don't they just feel it, you know? Um, so that's been kind of fun to see him go through that. I don't know. Does that feel true for you? Like, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

I mean, absolutely. And I think, you know, um I you know, I think understanding that at work, especially when it's oh, it's like it's perfectly okay for people to wanna know why or how. Sometimes I do get annoyed. It's like, don't they just trust my instinct? I you know, I like I know why. It's like, oh wait, I probably should try to like articulate how I got to this because you don't know all of the things that led me, and it's probably very valid. But I need to make sure I communicate that, especially if it is, you know, making a key decision. To me, that seems obvious, but um, you know, sometimes people want to know, especially if it's you know, your boss or the board or someone like that.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

I know sometimes you gotta tell people it's frustrating, but yeah. Um, so that that was interesting. And this is, I always try and end on kind of like, well, you know, where to go from here, like how to to continue to grow in. And I don't know that you have a specific um task right now that's coming up, other than just to, it's really interesting to notice what you've already been doing with the meditating um and the stillness. There, there are kind of three paths for like actual tangible ways to start expanding and and growing through your type, through those patterns. It's silence, stillness, and solitude. And so there's there's three numbers that just hate being alone. So the solitude is where the work is. There's three numbers where like, gosh, silence is just the worst thing ever. Um, and then there's three numbers, and we can all feel this, right? Who always wants to be alone? But there's three that tend to really struggle with stillness, eight, nines, and ones. And they have that energy always moving. And so if you can find those times to find stillness, um, more can open up and you have those awarenesses like you're already having.

SPEAKER_01 45:54

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

Yeah. Um, any any questions as we start to wrap up this piece?

SPEAKER_02 46:03

No, I mean, it makes so much sense. I think about one of my um, you know, my Pilates uh coach, and she's also my Reiki um uh coach as well. And it's like she's like, you just need to chill. So like, okay, stillness, like this, the art of doing absolutely nothing. Um I love it when I do it, but I don't give it to myself a lot. Um uh so you know that's it's important.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

Yeah, it is. It is. And um, you know, I I'm somebody who hates the silence. I'm identify as a type seven. So I I feel some of that, um, and just always needing to be in motion and doing something and and that kind of thing. So that all stillness also feels hard, but um it sounds like you're doing a a lot of the right things. Um, I I appreciate you doing this, going through this. Um, this is always fun. Any other um any other aha's, any other things that made you laugh? Anything else you want to share um as we start to kind of close this conversation?

SPEAKER_02 47:10

No, I mean, I think this is just really great. And I mean, what I love most about this, because I didn't even know about Enneagrams before you and I connected. Um, I love anything where you can learn about yourself and then to see how like accurate this is to like, you know, things in my life or what I know about myself or what I'm learning about myself. It just it's really awesome because it gives that, you know, kind of acknowledgement, like, yeah, you really are in tune with who you are, and like, you know, keep doing these things because I've, you know, like like I said, talking less, listening more, letting people take, you know, and it doesn't mean I'm any less of a leader. It just actually that's probably the next step in further developing. And so it's really cool to see that come through in this. That's kind of my takeaway. Um, to even further just say, yep, listen, listen to what you're hearing.

SPEAKER_00 48:08

You know, I and I love that you said that because there's so much um advice out there for especially, you know, you know, women, all kinds of leaders. Um, and it's not all size fits one advice, though, because for somebody who very rarely speaks up to say, listen more, follow that general advice, you know, terrible advice. You need to be speaking up more. So it is, yeah, I do appreciate it that it gives you kind of that individual, just here's where you're at, and here's your specific things to focus on, not all this. So um, well, Sheila, I appreciate you. I we'll have to we'll have to get together again because I feel like you would also have a wealth of information just to share about leadership and being a woman and in power and that sort of thing. So we'll have to reconnect and do something again. But I appreciate you being here and um tell us where we could connect with you about the collective or if just anybody wanted any other fellow type eights wanted to say hello.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

So I'm very um active on LinkedIn. You can just Sheila Frierson, um, and and also my Liberate Collective. So as you said, it's L-I-B-H-E-R-A-T-E collective, all one word, um dot com. And you can join the collective. And like I said, no cost to join. It's just um, you know, joining a network, getting information. We've got um other recorded sessions we've done, and I try to post them all up there. Um, and again, you know, just happy to connect with everyone, growing your network, learning about other people. That's what I'm all about.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

I love it. I love it. Well, thank you, Sheila. I appreciate it so much. Um, hopefully we'll be seeing you on LinkedIn and inside the collective. And uh yeah, just thank you so much. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Thank you. Take care.