SPEAKER_00 0:00

Are you an Enneagram type 3 or an Enneagram type 8? That is the mystery we are going to hopefully be solving today for you. Our type 3s are sometimes known as the achiever, the performer, the role model. Our type 8s are sometimes known as the challenger, the protector, the boss. And while they do have some key similarities, they also have some key differences that we're going to dig into our Enneagram detective bag and solve this Enneagram mystery today. So when you're ready, I will see you inside. You're listening to the Enneagram MBA podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself, usually talking about the Enneagrams, sometimes talking about other resources and methods, but always bringing value and having fun along the way. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, certified Enneagram coach, speaker, and workshop facilitator. And I cannot wait to see you inside. Well, welcome to this episode of Enneagram Mysteries, hopefully solved. I am your lead detective and host, Sarah Wallace, owner and lead trainer over here at Enneagram MBA. Today we're going to be helping you hopefully solve the mystery of MIA Type 3 or MIA Type 8. So we have some key clues we're going to take a look at to hopefully help you solve this mystery. Before we do though, I want to lay the foundation for each of these types. Now, both of them are in the what is called the assertive stance. So they're both very focused on going far, going fast, making things happen. They tend to have a lot of energy, tend to be very future focused. And so that can be a very common reason for the confusion between the two. But there are, like I said, some key differences that we're going to look at. At the end of the day, though, a three is a three because of their striving to feel outstanding. They want to feel successful. Um, and they will use their arrow to a type nine, which is striving to feel at peace, to striving to feel peaceful to complement that outstanding strategy. And that looks like making that success look effortless, making their accomplishments look like it was so easy. It just comes so natural to them, which in a lot of times it does. But also I know that there is a lot of hard work and effort that is going in under the surface that maybe you're not seeing um happen. You're just seeing the top of the swan glide, not the paddling underneath. And then type threes tend to shy away and neglect their arrow to the type six, which is known as striving to feel safe and secure. It on the surface, it appears to be in direct conflict with that desire to feel outstanding. You know, if you're safe and secure, you're you might come across as they see it sometimes as settling, as just being average, when the type three wants to be outstanding. But ironically, that is the exact energy that they will want to complement. They're striving to feel outstanding with and happens to be their growth arrow, which we'll maybe get to a little bit at the end here. The type eight, um, known as the challenger, the boss, the protector, they are striving to feel powerful, powerful, and strong. And to complement that strategy, they will pull in their energy from their arrow five. So the five is striving to feel capable, competent, um, really kind of detached. Um, and so eights will use that. They want to feel capable, confident in order to feel powerful, right? And then they will also detach from their feelings, from difficult situations to continue to be able to continue to move powerfully into the future. Um, their strategy that they tend to neglect the most is their arrow to the type two, which is striving to feel connected. Relationships can open you up to vulnerabilities. You can be taken advantage of, someone could betray you. So that tends to be the energy out of all the types that an eight will neglect the most, ironically, like the three. Um, this type two energy is their growth path and will be some things to focus on to really complement them and lead them um successfully on their own growth path into the future. So that's some foundational information. When that still is not clear, we're gonna take at a couple, uh, we're gonna take a look at a couple of other key clues that hopefully will help you solve this type three versus type eight mystery. One of the first things to look at is how you feel about what others think. We're human beings, so of course there's going to be, you know, some level of care about what other people think. Type threes tend to care much more. And it's because of that striving to feel outstanding. Um, and a lot of times in the stereotypical three, now, as you grow on your personal growth professional development journey, it will be less about what others think of you, how outstanding others think of you, and more about how how you feel about yourself. But in that stereotypical range, type threes very much care about what others think of them and how outstanding, how successful do they appear to others. Whereas type eights care, of course, again, we're human beings, not to say that they don't care at all, but they care much less about what others think. Um, they're not as wrapped up or focused, maybe is a better word, into what others are thinking of them, how they look to others. They're gonna do what they want to do. They're gonna tell it like they're it is, they're gonna have that brutal honesty, they're gonna be direct. And some people might like it, some people may not, but you know, either way, they're fine with it. Take it or leave it. This is kind of who I am, is is the energy that the eight will bring. So take some time to think on that. You know, that is one of those things that you the only person you have to be honest with is yourself in this situation. And that could be something that, you know, takes a minute to really um reflect on, look at look at yourself through, you know, an objective lens. How much do I really care? The second thing to look at is how much enjoyment you get from tasks, big tasks, little task. Now, type threes love a good checklist. They love a good to-do list. We talk about crossing things off on your to-do list with our type threes. And so for them, it can be a big check, it can be a little check off. Um, whatever. It feels so good to be moving forward, no matter how big the step is towards their ultimate goal. They they just love to be able to check things off. Whereas an eight, those little tasks, those checklists of little details of things to do, um, really frustrate and almost annoy a type eight because they just have such a big vision and type threes do as well. They are excellent at being able to have the big vision and then also come up with the step-by-step of what needs to happen. Whereas eights will have a big vision and the details of how to get there just isn't something I want to be bothered by. If it's frustrating, they might hand that off. They might skip over it altogether and have to come back to it later. Um, but that's something else to look. Your relationship with those little details, how good it feels to check off a checklist, if you even like to have a checklist, um, something to consider there. Um, the other thing to consider and reflect on, again, the only person you have to be honest with is yourself, is your ability and willingness, I guess is a better word, to conform. And while threes would never describe themselves necessarily as a conformist, they are a little bit more willing to conform because A, they have this incredible superpower of being able to read a room and know exactly who I need to be in this room. Who, what is this, what is the this occasion? What is this person in front of me? Um, what do they need? Who do I need to be in this situation to sometimes, you know, get that approval, um, to look a certain way, this image that I am going for. How do I need to kind of conform or or mold or shape shift in this situation for this person to achieve that? Whereas eights um tend to, not that they can't, but they tend to not have that that superpower of of reading a room and knowing what people need and who they need to be as much as that as the three. Um, they have, they're going to just kind of, they have the greatest energy of all of all the types on the Enneagram. And they're just gonna use that that force of nature that they have um to get things done rather than maybe be a little bit more politically um correct or diplomatic, like the type three will be. A type eight tends to be known as the rebel for a good reason. Um, they're much more willing to break the rules, kind of make their own rules despite what anybody else is going to think. Um the other thing to think about is our type eight is in the body center. Type three is in the heart center. What does that mean? What's something, what's a clue that you can kind of dig into a little bit more for yourself? Um, it's to kind of it's to think about what your focus is. Um each type has an emotional struggle in in these centers of intelligence. Um, our type three, they tend to be focused on my identity and my personal significance in the world. Twos, threes, fours kind of tend to have that as their focus. We can all have a focus on that. We can all want that right. Um, but for those in the heart center, that tends to be um something of focus for them. And then their emotional struggle around that, you'll see and hear about being shame and sometimes hostility, about shame for not living up to that ideal image, shame for not having, or maybe even hostility for not having the significance, the um importance that that they want in that, in that whatever area it is of their life. So, you know, again, not something necessarily that is um a strength here. It's more of the the shadow side of that. So you it may not be as as visible to you or may not be ready to take a look at that, but that's what that looks like for the type three. Um, I've also heard from type threes that they do have a lot of feelings, but sometimes they will just push them to the side, thinking, okay, it's uh we got a goal, we have a job to do. Um, let's push those to the side and we'll we'll come back to them. So it's not that they don't feel they the this type is repressed, is what they call it um in the heart center. Um, so they do have those feelings, they just tend to move them to the side until they can come back to them. The problem is you just don't always come back to them. Um, our type eights are in that body center. So where a three is focused on the identity and the significance. A four is, or I'm sorry, an eight is going to be dealing with aggression and uh sometimes repression. And their emotional struggle is going to be around anger, maybe even some rage. And so um to think about, you know, of course we can all have rage, we can all be anger, angry. Um, but when you just sit for a moment and think, okay, this core emotional struggle, is it that of the body type? Anger, rage, or is it um where you're either very aggressive with that anger or you're trying to repress it and shut shove it down, which is typical of uh type ones, type nines, eights tend to be a little bit more, uh much more um open with that anger. Um, or is is your core emotional struggle kind of around that shame, potentially hostility around not living up to your own expectations of your ideal image of who you want to be. And then when it comes to dealing with conflict, a little similar here, our type threes are in what's known as the competency triad with our ones and our fives. And those in this tend to first react to a conflict, to a challenge with we're sensible adults here, let's just get to work. I'm sure we there's an effective, efficient solution to this challenge. Let's just get to work and try to solve it. It's typically a three might approach that. It's stereotypical. It's not to say always all the time, but it is a is a common tendency of a three. Um, the type eight, along with our fours and our sixes, are in that emotional reactivity triad, where for an eight, again, tends to be very much having an emotional reaction, typically with anger, a strong emotional reaction that they want others to feel as much as they feel is a clue to look at. Again, not all the time. Threes can be angry, eights can deal with conflict with competency, with data and efficient solutions, but just kind of that initial quick reaction stereotypically, that's how each of them will come at that last clue that can help is looking more into that stress arrow and paying attention to after I have kind of gone through my own defense strategies, coping mechanisms, um, what do I look like in that in that at that point? What are some of my common behaviors for a type eight? They tend to go to a type five coping mechanisms, defense strategies in times of conflict, which means they are going to isolate, they may get even more stubborn, um, they may feel like they're someone's going to betray them, kind of questioning, thinking about that kind of thing, um, and and pull away in times of stress um and very difficult situations. Now, a type three, after they exhaust all of their kind of go-to defense mechanisms, coping strategies, they're going to make a lateral move over to that type nine energy and take on some of the numbing out behaviors that you'll see some of the nines also do in their times of stress, numb out, right? Um, veg out, zone out. And for a three who is constantly go, go, go, go, go, um, most of these threes that I have talked to will have some sort of experience of complete burnout at some point and just shutting down because they can no longer, you know, maintain this workaholic kind of go go go all the time. And then they will deal with it by going on the other end of the extreme. Um, and they'll you may also see some busyness still, but it may not be their typical just really productive and effective work and hustle and busy that you'll you'll see them do um because they may be so overwhelmed. I'm gonna stay in motion, but I'm not sure right now exactly what the most pressing thing is in this time of stress, where in normal times um very focused on what needs to be done. And then some self-doubt might also creep in. Um, threes and eights both tend to be very self-confident, but in times of stress, you might see yourself um taking on some of that self-doubt that a nine will have as well in stress. So that's something to consider and something that I hear helps a lot of other clients when they're trying to narrow it down, is look at where they go to in stress. So hopefully with these Enneagram clues, you have solved your mystery of am I a type three or am I a type eight? If you have questions, if you're still uncertain, um I do offer in-focus 60-minute sessions to help you continue to narrow down your type. We get into um some, depending on where you're at on your journey, um your subtype, how that will show up and what that how that will flavor your dominant Enneagram type, and and really most importantly, how to use what you are learning about your type, what you are learning about yourself in real life, in the workplace, in your career, starting a business. So I'm gonna invite you to check out some of those options at Enneagram MBA forward slash Enneagram-coaching. I'll drop the link below here. Um, an in-focus session might be able to provide some additional clues, um, personalized clues into helping you find your type and then helping you use that information in real life. So thank you so much for being here. If you like this video, subscribe to the channel. We have more this or that Enneagram mysteries coming. If you feel like somebody else would also be helped with this by this, please share with them. Thanks for being here, and I will see you soon.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Thank you for listening to the Enneagram MBA podcast. Sarah offers Enneagram assessments for employees and entrepreneurs and workshops for company teams and women's groups. To learn more about how Sarah can help you or your organization better understand people at work, visit EnneagramMBA.com.