SPEAKER_01 0:00

Are you typically one of the first people to log on each morning or maybe get to the office and you actually don't mind working long hours? You might even enjoy it. Um, are you somebody who can find yourself getting impatient when you feel like your time is being wasted? Maybe during meetings or in a conversation, you just kind of want people to get to the point, get to the bottom line. Is it difficult for you to unplug from work on vacation or maybe even after a health scare, you're you're still wanting to get in there and put in the hours? Um, and is it difficult to stay engaged in a project, in a meeting, if you're not clear on what the goal is, what what the end result should be out of that conversation, meeting or project. If you answered yes to any of these, there's a chance you may be an Enneagram type three. And today's episode is going to be all about the type three to help you either better understand yourself as a type three, better clarify, am I a type three or another type, or to better understand a three in your life. Um, this conversation we actually had a few months ago over on LinkedIn. So it was a live interview. We have a video to go along with this conversation if you prefer to watch the video format. It's linked in the show notes here. And um we get into textbook-wise what the makeup of a type three is in the workplace. We're opening the case file. It was a part of our Enneagram case file series. And then we have a uh type three Enneagram informant joining us on this interview to share about what life is like on the inside or just a real life uh type three in real life perspective, uh, really through the lens of work and bringing that to the teammates and just kind of the workplace in general. So, without further ado, enjoy this episode diving into our type threes. You're listening to the Enneagram MBA podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm excited to be diving into this week's episode with you. We are over here on LinkedIn Live today, diving into our type three Enneagram case file. I am your, I guess, lead detective/slash host today, um, where we will be diving into some of the key pieces that make up the type three. And then we also are going to get to interview a type three informant to tell us a little bit about what life is like on the inside, um, living life, kind of seeing the world through the lens of the type three. Um, the whole point of this series is to, it's really three, three pieces. One is to help anyone who is teetering between, in this case, a type three and maybe some of the other types to help them get some clarity on what that might be, one way or the other. Yes, this is definitely me. Or no, you know what? Now that I hear more about it, it is, I think this other type might be more my style. Um, the other one is to help those of you who absolutely know you're a three get to know a little bit more about the type three energy, hear somebody else's real life experience, just kind of validate your own, not feel like you're the only crazy person in the world who does or feels that way. And then the third is to understand, though, for those of us who are not a three, to understand where that person might be coming from, whether they're someone on our team or somebody that we live with or lead or are being led by in the workplace, just to kind of get a better sense of, okay, this is this is why we might be having conflict, this is what might be going wrong here, um, or this is why we get along so well. It makes sense. So you'll get some additional insight into that. Um, to kick it off, we are just wherever you fall in that spectrum, we're going to um dive into a brief overview of the type three anatomy. What makes a three a three? At the end of the day, it comes down to not necessarily the behaviors or the actions. Um, I like to give this caveat when I talk about the type three, and it'll be interesting if our informant has anything to add to this in just a minute. But there is, I think in general, um, we all can relate to this type three energy in some way, because I think here in the US especially, we have a lot of that energy um that we have grown up with in school, in um college, getting the job and just kind of the picture of success. And I think they're just in general. So a lot of times when people are mistyping, um, it's because of some of that kind of background noise that we've we've grown up with and what we should feel and what we should do. Um, so that's important to kind of remember. And then also we're we're gonna probably see some of this in all of us, just a little bit. Um, but the thing that really makes a three a three is the striving to feel outstanding. So out of all the other core drivers' motives, it's this I want to be successful, I want to be seen as successful. And threes tend to get their self-worth from how successful they are. The title, the, the, um, the salary, the possessions, um, just kind of labels, that type of thing tends to be uh kind of what that stereotypical or typical three is striving for in life. Um, a lot of it's because, again, it's like that's where I should be. Um, their superpower is achievement. At the end of the day, threes have that nickname as the achiever because they achieve a lot of things and it tends to come really easy to them, or at least look like it comes really easy to them. Um, and they enjoy it. They enjoy having a goal and then working towards the goal and then accomplishing the goal. They love it, they are fine to put in the work to do what needs to be done to get from there to here. Um, sometimes the shadow side of a three might expose some competitiveness. Um, threes tend to uh on the outside look like workaholics, uh, tends to be very hard to unplug on a vacation or even after a health scare. And I will say um I get pushback from threes sometimes. And it's usually not until they've had some sort of significant event in their life where they realize, oh, okay, this is why this maybe isn't sustainable, or maybe there is a different way to live, to work, to bring more balance. Um, but it usually takes some sort of burnout event or health scare. Um, but sometimes even then, it's hard for our threes to slow down because the our self-worth is so wrapped up into what we are doing. And so if we're not doing, then who are we? Um they are in that center of intelligence on the Enneagram and that heart center with the twos and the fours. Interestingly, though, for our threes, who are very focused on being efficient, always getting things done, the to-do list, the checklist. Um, they tend to feel that feelings can kind of get in the way. And so, yes, they might experience them from themselves or from others. Um, but they tend to think, again, in the stereotypical three range, that listen, we don't have time for that right now. Um, we're working on something. So let's put those to the side, let's focus back on the goal. And then when we have time, we'll circle back around to those. It's kind of how that will play out. Um, when it comes to problem solving, they're similar to our ones and our fives in that competency um category where it's like, listen, let's just get it, get it done. Let I'm sure there's an efficient solution. We're sensible, mature adults. Let's just get to work and figure it out. And then when it comes to getting things done, our threes with our sevens and our eights are in that assertive, sometimes known as the aggressive stance. So they we don't always like it being called that in this stance, but uh, where we are really focused on the future. We want to go far, we want to go fast. If we have to cut a few corners here or there to get it done, progress over perfection might be kind of a motto for those of us in this stance and for our threes especially. As soon as they have a goal, they are ready to jump in, get to work, get it done, and enjoy that process along the way, as we talked about. Um, we're gonna talk a little bit more about what our three looks like in stress and what growth might look like for a type three. But before we do, I want to bring on our Enneagram type three informant, Jay Shree. And uh, I'm gonna take off these slides for just a moment so we can see you. Hello, welcome. Hi. Thank you so much for being here. Would you tell us just a little bit about yourself? And then um, how did you know that you were a type three?

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Yeah, thanks for uh having me on. Uh so Jay Shree Mahajan, I am a supply chain manager uh located in Nashville, Tennessee, and uh I've been in supply for uh just over 10 years, and um, you know, first time mom uh over this last year as well. Uh married uh almost 10 years to my husband uh Pete, and uh, you know, we've really loved our time in Nashville uh here over the last seven or eight years. So thanks for having me. Um I think three uh I got introduced to Ennegram a few years ago, and I think really uh three stuck out to me because um you talked about progress over perfection and always moving forward um and really setting the bar pretty high. Um, you know, in 2018 I had a really tough year of work. So you talk about having a milestone where you start to, you know, really evaluate your balance in life. And uh, you know, it took me down a very different path. And I realized that um, you know, I was really achieved trying to achieve uh a lot of things all at one time and getting to that point of burnout. Um, so I think for what I understand of it, threes are you know high likelihood to burn out. Um and uh, you know, because the bar is set so high.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Yeah. And you know, you mentioned uh motherhood, which congratulations, by the way. Thank you. Yeah. Um, there were there's been a couple that have touched on this that I've done, but one uh podcast interview specifically taught the woman was talking about how um she knew she was identified as a type three, she knew that this was going to be an incredible experience. She was bringing a human life into the world, um, but she was going to have to take some time off. And she was really struggling with her identity with who am I if I'm not working? And logically, she talked about like, I know this doesn't make sense, I know this isn't right. I I know that, you know, I I'm I'm not just my work. Um, but she's like, I'm having a kind of an identity um crisis, just wondering how these next several weeks, months are going to play out, um, where I'm taking on a completely new role and I don't feel like I'm contributing to the household and to, you know, my my career progress. So I I don't, you don't have to open up and share if that resonates with you, but I I've heard that um a couple of times and it is uh very um much in line kind of with that that three kind of always be doing, always be working uh motto.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Yeah, I think I think personally it really uh it helped shape what progress even looks like. Uh, you know, getting uh getting a shower in, uh, you know, getting uh a meal in and things like that, especially when you're back from uh, you know, newly having a baby or you know, new parent even, I think is uh is important. So reframing what progress looked like uh was kind of a learning experience for me.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yeah, I love that. Like what is this successful day? It very much changes when you're thrown in that situation. Um is there anything about the three that stands out to you that has been really beneficial in where you're at right now with your career?

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Yeah, exactly. I think as I've moved, um, you know, moved throughout the supply chain organization, um, you know, we're known for being very, you know, classically type A results driven and efficient at heart. And I think as I've grown, you know, really having to expand my development into more strategy-based work, um, you know, you interact with very different people. Um, and so you start to really see that uh, you know, that bridge that you're trying to build with others. And Anygram was useful in understanding that type of work and helping me, you know, really reframe some of that work and what success looked like in those areas. Um, a lot of times it was building two or three new relationships at work, um, coming up with ideas and not necessarily doing anything uh or having, you know, a long list that we could say got, you know, every checkbox finished. Um and so it's really been about reframing what success has looked like uh in that way.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

So, so good. I love that. Were there any other types that you were teetering between in the beginning, just out of curiosity, um, before you landed on the type three? Or was it like this could this couldn't be any other type? This has to be it's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

I think six came up. Um, and I think if I remember correctly, you can jump in um, you know, more of um, you know, working with people and having some of that um, you know, personal or emotional contact with people. You know, I think at the heart of a type three, right, you're driving for efficiency. Um, but you're I think in my personal experience it's been about, you know, really making sure people are being brought along. Uh and I've always had had a bias towards, you know, building teams and and having that emotional or personal connection in my work. So, or even in my personal life. Um, you know, I'm a Libra also, so very kind of social uh democratic uh type of lens as well. So six was kind of always in the list. Um, and you know, there might have been a few others, but six sixed out in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Yeah, well, and that makes sense because um, well, and actually I'll just bring it up. I have this slide up here. Um, sixes, nines, and threes all have a connecting arrow, just kind of what it means uh varies depending on the type, but the the growth arrow for the three is this the type six energy. Um, and you said it perfectly, J Shri, where it's like it's a lot of times threes in that stereotypical level here, not saying everybody all threes are right here right now, um, but stereotypically tend to kind of think of themselves and how successful am I? Kind of what do I look like? And so bringing in some of that six energy that tends to be really collaborative and kind of group conscious and out for the common good, um, blending that with your drive to be successful, exactly like you said, it now becomes not just about your success, but bringing others along with you on that journey. So you said that perfectly. Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

I remember, I remember the training stuck from a few years ago. That's always good to see.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Yes, yeah, that that's it. And I ironically, um, when we talk about these arrows um or lines, the six sometimes tends to be the one that initially a type three will kind of want to avoid or neglect the most, because for a six, they're striving to feel secure at the end of the day. Certainty is very important, safety in a job and knowing that you belong in a group, which is almost in direct conflict with that striving to feel outstanding. Because if you're if you're okay being safe, secure, kind of sometimes threes see that as just kind of settling or being mediocre, it's like, oh my gosh, no, I don't want anything to do with that. But when you kind of blend it in, um, not to be a six, but just kind of blend it in to enhance where you're at with your three, it's it's magic. Um, and then interestingly, three's stress arrow is that of a, and this is what I'm curious if you if you have seen this show up for you. Um, when the type three kind of overworking, uh overcompetitive, when they kind of tap out of their core types, coping strategies, um, stress management styles, threes tend to make a lateral move over to this stress arrow of the nine and kind of might take on some of the nine stress qualities, which tend to completely disengage, numb out. It's like I have been going, going, going, and I just need to hide. Um, and they will use that kind of um calmness sometimes, that striving to feel at peace um to actually kind of zone out and um get peace away from projects or their inner thoughts or that constant doing, but sometimes it's more of a numbing out um rather than a rest. So does anything in that resonate with you?

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Yeah, I call it the roller coaster, right? It's uh learning how to live with these uh really high peaks and some days that are really low valleys. Um, and I think, you know, as I was on maternity leave, really um had, you know, found that I spent a lot of that time as you know, you're calling recovery, right? Um you feel wildly unproductive in many of those days as a type three would define it. Um, and so you know, learning learning to acknowledge that that's how I get rest and how I, you know, manage stress um and being okay with that versus it adding more anxiety about not doing things. Um, but that definitely shows up for me.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Yeah, yeah. And and um you can not just you, but other threes can also tap into the nine and bring in some growth qualities for that as well, that kind of slowing down, like you just mentioned. And can you do things just for the fun of it? And it's really interesting. Um, as I've gotten more into the Enneagram and anything you want to add to this, I'd love to hear Jay Shri, but um there's so much great advice out there in the world about how to be more successful or how to be more self-aware on your self-growth journey. And what's interesting, I think, is that the Enneagram kind of helps you develop a filter for what growth actually looks like for you. So you know what advice to take in. Because somebody who is maybe has a harder time jumping in, and maybe they, you know, paralysis analysis to say, oh, rest, think more, take time, you know, that's kind of the opposite. Maybe it's time to jump in, take action, ask for forgiveness later type of energy. But for the three, growth really looks like, oh my gosh, I have hobbies that I don't have to turn into a side business or I get to do just for me, um, could might be an example. Anything specific like that that you've been growing with or learning to do more of?

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Yeah, I think uh, you know, over time we've definitely had passion projects, right? I think like you talked about, um, you know, and that's, you know, as we move from Cincinnati to Nashville, a lot of those passion projects change, um, but they've always kind of been in the background. And so I think, you know, as you know, maybe I'm looking for that rest or relaxation time, I find that I pick up those passion projects um to help me kind of, you know, relax um and do some things just for fun.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Yeah, yes, I love it, I love it. And just the the growth for our threes out there is to realize you are a worthy human being if you're you know piddling with clay and doing a terrible job at it, or you know, rocking it out at work, either way, you are worthy. And so detaching that worthiness from titles and salaries and and possessions and image is the work of a three. And like I said, I think all of us have some work to do in that area because it has just been so deeply seated from a very early age about success and progress and achievement and getting things getting awarded and recognized and that that type of thing. Um, I'm going to ask, let's see here. Oh, we got our informant. Um, what would you say that, and you you can say this for your own experience or just kind of knowing the type three energy, what should the rest? Of us know about working with a type three, um, whether we're leading a type three or maybe working side by side. What's something that maybe we get wrong and or maybe we're just not even acknowledging that would be really helpful in building a better relationship with the three?

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yeah, I think that uh bullet number four has got to be the top of my pepping list. Um, you know, I have a really hard time sitting in ideation sessions and brainstorming exercises. And, you know, I think making it obvious to us that success may be framed differently in those sessions, I think will make a type three a little bit more uh or a little bit less on edge uh having to sit through those types of conversations because it can feel pretty quickly very long-winded uh conversation. And uh, you know, it gets into feeling like your time is being wasted or you're wasting someone else's time. Um, you know, and I think for for a lot of us, um, you know, at least especially in the workplace, right? I think people can be on meeting overload. So it it piles up quickly. Um so that would be my one one word of advice if you've got a type three on your team.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

And just for anybody who maybe we're talking about turning this into a podcast later on. So just if you're not seeing the slides, she's talking about being long-winded or really just anything that would waste their time is a huge pet peeve that I hear a lot from type threes. And I think that uh I I could not, I don't know that I could have said this any better, Jay Shri, that there's one of the mistypes um sometimes or the confusions is but am I a three or am I a seven? And sevens tend to be the exact opposite on this point. Like we love to sit in those ideation meetings and just brainstorm and like what if and the possibilities. Um, and threes have the vision. It's just like, okay, let's do this and like let's get started. And they're excellent at starting to execute and get to the end. Where sometimes our sevens um would just prefer to stay in brainstorming mode. Exactly. Um, so that's a key difference if this happens to be one that you're you're teetering between. Um, other pet peeves that we've talked about with our threes are that um they hate it when others miss deadlines. Again, I think that goes back to that we have a checklist, we have a goal. Like, why aren't we all on the same page? Why are we missing these deadlines? Um, and sometimes ones and threes will have some conflict where um if it's if it's good enough, if it's almost done, not that they're turning in sloppy work, but threes are going to favor progress. Whereas our type ones, who kind of tend to favor perfection, might clash over that, thinking, I don't care if the deadline's here, it's not ready yet, it's not right, it's not good enough. So that might be a workplace conflict to be aware of, depending on what your type is. Um, having unnecessary meetings, like J Shri just mentioned, dragging on a conversation. Um, somebody that I was talking to in uh one of the workshops, they they had mentioned that they'll do this hand gesture. And for those of you who can't see, it's kind of this like come on, spit it out kind of gesture. And she says, I find myself doing that like to my daughter, to my coworkers. I'm like, okay, just like get get to it. Um, and so again, just something to be aware of if that tends to be the exact opposite of you, know who's in front of you, right? You don't have to know they're a type three, but you can start to pay attention to these types of things. Um, anything, and then just to finish off the list, let's see, distracting our threes uh while they're working can be a pet peeve, and then expecting them to spend time dealing with your feelings. Um, kind of like our fives that we talked about last week, um, they don't want to spend a lot of time in office drama, gossip because of this efficiency, this forward motion um movement. Anything you else you would add to the pet peeves list, Jay Shri?

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Yeah, I think the last one, right? It's uh expecting them to spend time dealing with their feelings. I think if you were to ask my husband, this has probably been our biggest working topic uh, you know, for me in all of our relationship. And um, you know, it really, it really comes down to the core of, you know, wanting to make progress and wanting to move forward. And, you know, um, I think you mentioned it earlier, right? Like, you know, ask for forgiveness later um type of mentality. It does creep into your personal life in a lot of ways if you haven't looked yet.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

So it absolutely does. And I'm glad you mentioned that because this all this comes up regardless of you know what the work environment that we're talking about. Someone will always share some great example just like this about how it's impacted your relationship with, you know, the people that you interact with most. So your significant other, your partner, your your children, potentially best friends. So um very much relevant and applicable in those two.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

And go have a good phrase uh called the motorcycle won't start. Um, you know, when he is just relaxed and sitting and enjoying his coffee, um, you know, I'm in in the mode of what are we getting done? And he's just enjoying his time. And so we have this joke that he's just thinking about why the motorcycle won't start. Meanwhile, I'm the one already out in the garage, like trying to fix it, right? Um, and so that's our that's our you know, new uh new language is you know, motorcycle won't start. Okay, I'll leave you, I'll leave you alone. I'll let you have your your 10 minutes apiece.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Such a good analogy. Just out of curiosity, do you know what his Enneagram type is?

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Um, it's a good question. I think he's close to a one. Um I'm not a hundred percent, but I think he I think he's a one uh in that realm.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

I was just curious. Yeah, that's that's so great. And again, regardless, like you don't need to know his Enneagram type for certain to know that hey, we have some different styles on our jumping in to start a project or our kind of take action uh that's right strategies. Um, is there anything else that you whether it's a pet peeve or um a strength that you have noticed in yourself or other threes that you have worked with that we you can shine some light on to either appreciate or just better be aware of so that we can navigate um these relationships with the type threes in our lives?

SPEAKER_00 28:24

Yeah, I think what I've found is that um, especially in the workplace, you can definitely um try to over-perfect uh what you're working on. And I think, you know, depending on the types that you have involved, right? You can spend a lot of time ideating, brainstorming, um, which is good. Um, but I think threes bring to the table that there has to be an outcome and there has to be some steps taken next. And so I think as you have threes on your team, um, they'll probably do it anyway. But making sure that, you know, if you are a three, like it's okay to ask for a plan. Um, you know, you don't have to feel like you're you're bothering the group. It may you may be one of the only people in the room that's gonna ask that question. Um, and I think, you know, whether it's in your personal life or at work, right? Um, you know, actually getting getting to the outcome um is really why we do a lot of that work. So, you know, I would just encourage you to speak up um and not feel like, especially if you're one of few uh, you know, Ennegram threes in the room that uh, you know, not bringing that superpower to the table is uh is probably maybe doing more damage to the team than good.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Yeah, that I I so well said, and it is interesting the different industries where you'll kind of see clusters of of more than one type. And maybe this is stereotyping, but I would imagine in the engineering world, there might be a lot of five. So, like thinkers, observers, very innovative thinking, like what could we do? And then it's so true that that you absolutely need the benefit of that quick start, that like let's take action. And not to say that you go with that all the time, every time, but just to have somebody in the room. And then I love that you're encouraging them to speak up and to to you know get it, get things going.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Yeah, and I think you think especially where you see the perfectionism. I used to think I was a perfectionist. Um, I think when you meet a true perfectionist, they're not a type three. Um, and I think getting getting even that group um, you know, moving forward is is a huge benefit for a lot of organizations and you know, a lot of uh people in their personal life.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

So well said. Um, I'm going to share just a couple of resources for anybody who happens to be uh stuck between a couple of different types. We there's some Enneagram mystery kind of this or that matchups that you can check out over on the Enneagram MBA YouTube channel. We have some podcast episodes that um people like Jay Shree will share about their experience in real life um with that type three energy to help you narrow it down or just to get to know yourself better and realize that there's other people out there like you. And then we do have some resources. If you absolutely know you're a three, um, there are typing guides over at enneagrammba.com forward slash resources, and you can grab coffee mugs or whatever you want to do to just show off your type three energy. Um, as we start to wrap this up, Jay Shri, is there anything that you think the rest of us get wrong about the type three that we should know about?

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Yeah, I think it can look a lot of times like we're not collaborative. I know we talked a little bit about um, you know, moving into the six realm and that being a growth. And I think for me, that's been just a maturing process over my career, you know, and over my life of, you know, leveraging that six more often to actually help achieve and have better success. So, you know, I think wherever you are and whoever you're working with, um, they just may be on that journey. Um, and they probably really do care about uh working and collaborating with others, although it may seem like they're, you know, driving one way on the highway and uh and leaving you in the dust. So um, you know, be be patient. Um, they may just uh be on a little bit of their own learning journey.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

So well said. Well, I appreciate you being here so much. As I always say, you know, opening up about your personality is literally one of the most personal and vulnerable things you can do. So thank you for doing this live and for being willing to let me share it with others. I I know that I personally learned more about the type three experience. So thank you for all that you shared. Um, I know that others will have learned some things as well for anybody who wants to reach out and say, Oh my gosh, I feel you. You were in my head. Um, where are you hanging out online that they could drop you a thank you and just say hello?

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Sure. Yeah, definitely on LinkedIn. Send me a message and uh yeah, happy to chat uh if you have anything, uh anything about type threes.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Okay, and we'll add your LinkedIn profile to the to the show notes so people can get in touch. And uh with that, I appreciate you being here and uh we'll see you around LinkedIn. All right, thanks, Sarah. Appreciate it. When I'm not planning for the next episode or getting to interview the next podcast guest, I'm probably out doing an Enneagram team training or a group workshop experience. Because while Enneagram MBA is a podcast, it is also a team training company, which means whether you have a team of four or 40 or are planning an event for 400 people, there is an experience that is waiting to be created just for you and your team or organization or event. And I'm gonna invite you to start that process over at enneagrammba.com where you'll be able to check out some of the initial ideas and options and then reach out to get in touch to start planning your own.