SPEAKER_00 0:00

Would you say that you place a high value on being authentic? Is it important to you to be seen and understood for who you uniquely are? Are you looking to have deep and meaningful connections and conversations and talking about the weather can just feel like torture to you? Uh, do you find that it can just can't help yourself sometimes comparing yourself to others? And when you do, maybe getting stuck or dwelling on how you're lacking or defective somehow, or you just don't measure up, especially when you kind of put compare yourself to others in relation to other people. And then lastly, would you describe yourself as emotional? Maybe occasionally moody. Um, maybe you have some really strong emotions at times that have caused problems for you in relationships, whether it's at home or at work. If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be an Enneagram type four. These are behaviors. So um lots of other types might also identify with some of these behaviors. And just because you identify with this doesn't mean that you're a four. But at the end of the day, a type four, the thing that makes them a four is this core strategy of striving to feel unique. And on Tuesday, we talked a lot about what that means, uh, what that type four energy looks like, the strengths, the gifts, um, the the and not just how a four can can embrace those, but how all the other types um can bring in some of that, those four strengths, whether it's storytelling or um being emotionally fit when it comes to supporting a friend or a teammate. So all of that um and more is in our regular Tuesday Enneagram MBA episode. And what you're going to hear today is specifically for those of you who feel like, yes, I'm a four, or um I might be a four, but I might be a two, or maybe am I a nine? Um, Maddie Christine is coming back in a bonus content clip here um to share her type four Enneagram journey that did not start out as an Enneagram four. So um if you that if you kind of are in that initial typing journey or you just already know you're a four and and like to learn and connect with other fours, stick around. You're gonna enjoy, um, I think and get some additional um insight and maybe even some validation from what Maddie Christine shares. Um, this is content that didn't make it uh into the Tuesday episode. We actually have more bonus content that wasn't able to fit into the Tuesday episode or didn't really fit into this specific topic over on YouTube. And it's over there. You can see Maddie Christine on video. Um, and over there, we are talking specifically about the work preferences, the things that a type four really appreciates in the workplace, um, really appreciates in a coworker, a teammate. Um, in the Tuesday episode, we talked about some pet peeves. Um, but over on the YouTube video here, we're getting into kind of what do they really appreciate and how to be a good teammate. And then also as a type four, maybe um you'll pick up some things that you also identify with and and be able to, you know, more clearly articulate and and and advocate for what it is you need and appreciate in the workplace as well. So lots of type four content this week and got a couple different ways to catch it all. Um, all of the links with the bonus content over on YouTube, and then the full um episode from Tuesday are in the show notes here, as well as the interview with Maddie Christine's husband, who identifies as a type 9. And she touches on that dynamic a little bit in this interview too as well. So without further ado, let's hear from Maddie Christine in this extra Enneagram episode. You're listening to the Enneagram MBA podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm excited to be diving into this week's episode with you. What were the things that made you think, oh my gosh, this is me?

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Well, let me first tell you that for a long time I was wearing a two. Okay, that's helpful. And um, yeah. Um, and after a while, I had somebody say, Hey, how about you just wear the four for a while? You know, how you're not supposed to type one another. And this person was just very, just very gentle and very uh the timing was right. Like I was wondering. And um, I think I've heard from many fours who don't want to be a four and don't like to be a four. And my resistance to it, I think that told me that I was in the right place. I was so willing to be a four, at a two, so willing. And then I got to the four. I'm like, that's not who I want to be. And oh, this is who I am.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

No, that I mean, that is honestly one of the best tests is are like, do you want to be this type? And if not, like that's probably your type with the asterisk of eights, tend to be like, oh yeah, I love all this stuff, like direct, confrontational, like, yes, that's me. Love it, embrace it. Yeah. Um, so that's funny. So, okay, so for those of for those listeners who may not be as familiar with the type four, just really quickly, um, our type fours are, you know, sometimes have that nickname of like the artist or the creative, um, the individualist. At the end of the day, the thing that makes a four a four is that core motive. And for our fours, it's striving to feel unique. So their general approach to life is let's approach this problem or this situation as creatively, as fresh, as interestingly as we can. Um, fours tend to be pulled towards things and experiences that maybe are elegant or refined or just a little unusual. And then sometimes we're gonna get more into this, but sometimes when fours overdo that striving to feel unique, um, they can feel a little misunderstood. Maybe they withdraw from others, maybe they become a little isolated in times of stress. Um, they might feel like they're not doing enough to put their special touch on the world or the project or whatever it might be. Um, and that their authentic individual self is somehow going to become repressed and they're just gonna blend in and not be able to kind of live up to their potential. So that's that's our four in a nutshell. Um, anything that really stands out to you, Maddie Christine, within that description, or anything that you think, oh, we really need to add this in here to get the full picture of the four.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

I think what stands out for me is just the need to be unique and the need to be authentic. Like a four, like, okay, I'll talk about me. Me as a four, I cannot lie. I have to tell you the truth, and it's sometimes brutally honest. Like, I have to be very true to what I know inside or what I feel inside, and yeah, and I I just need to be very special, and I feel I'm born with feeling there's there's just something wrong. So there's this tension of I think there is this thing wrong about me. I'm not quite sure what, but it's very deep, and something is wrong. And at the same time, I want to be unique. I don't know how I blend those two, but I feel that's that's a tension.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Okay, and that is a struggle, that is a common struggle from what I hear from other fours. And it's interesting. I'd be curious, please please comment on this if you have additional thoughts. Um, it's interesting because sometimes ones in fours will be like a typing challenge for some people. They think, oh, I really resonate with a four, but I also really resonate with a one. And sometimes that's because of that kind of inner critic, and like you were saying, feeling defective or something's wrong with you. And one kind of nuance difference that I have seen is that ones tend to think there's something wrong with me. I'm not doing this well enough. Um, but but if I just work harder, there's hope. I I could get there. Whereas fours tend to think, oh, it's hopeless. I'm just inherently forever and always dysfunction or defective.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Yeah, I I think I do work hard towards being whole. Um, and at the same time, I think you're right that it feels I some I had a I had an instance yesterday that I thought, you know what, I don't know if I'll ever get there. This is just who I am. It had to do within marriage. And I thought, okay, and you'll get like this is me, right? This is me. I cannot be any different than being very raw. But I thought, am I actually marriage material? Like all this stuff that happened to me, like I wonder if it just will never get right. And I'm saying it with a little bit of laughter, but it's a serious thought. It's a serious thought that I thought, you know, maybe this is just, I don't know. This is this may just not not ever be me.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

I'm I'm glad that you said that because I think those kind of things, like we all kind of have our own, like kind of darker thoughts like that. And then to hear somebody else say something similar, it's like, oh my gosh, okay, I'm not alone, or that's really validating. I'm not crazy, or there's not something wrong with me. Um, and so I'm I'm I'm sure other fours who are listening to this can probably relate to that. And then that just gives some, the rest of us even more empathy and understanding for kind of the inner dialogue that is happening in our four friends, partners, coworkers. Um, I'd like to go back, if you don't mind, to the type two when you thought you were a type two. And um, what about the two energy where was kind of pulling your you towards that one? Or what did you like about that type?

SPEAKER_01 11:20

I think it's mostly the feeling part. I feel people and I often will just know someone's need before, and I've often addressed the need someone else has before they've even voiced it. And that's very typical for a two, right? You live out in the world to serve others, and that's definitely because of my sensitivity, what I was doing. Now, what I know now is when I'm distressed, I go to the unhealthy side of a two. And so now it really makes sense. Um, so it's mostly the feeling part. Um, and if I need to say anything that I like about a four, it is as difficult as it is. I do enjoy that I'm feeling, and I do enjoy that I don't run away from feelings. I feel that makes life in some ways easier. I'm not running away from my feelings, I'm not trying to hide it, I'm not trying to wear a mask. Um, I'm pretty real. And and um, and I think that the the twos can also be very sensitive with being just so out in the world and sensing people. So that's that's when I felt um, yeah, why I was a two.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Yeah. Um I sometimes we'll talk about the two, like one of their superpowers, like really seeing people. And I think fours are really good at that as well. Um, but the focus tends to be more on other people than how am I also feeling, which fours are stronger at. Um, so I'm also curious, and you don't have to share everything, but if is there anything that you would be willing to share about the four that you were resonating with, but you didn't love?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Yeah. Well, one thing that you're you're pointing out, like the two is very like out in the world, focused, feels other people. I'm really good at that. Deep down, I want to be seen. And actually, I often don't call I want to feel seen, I want to feel felt. I feel it's just a deeper layer of my foreness. I don't need you to see me. I need you to feel me, and I need to know that you feel me. I need you to communicate to me that you feel me and that you understand me. And I come with I come with such emotions and I I can live in turmoil. My past is turmoil, so I'm very familiar there. That's my downfall. Uh, that's a tricky part. And so I think for me, it's hard to be in the world because I have such a need to feel felt by others. But I come with such a whirlwind of emotions all the time, my poor husband. And so I think that's really hard sometimes for people to be with a four. I think we bring a lot into the world, and we we can come quite heavy as well, especially when we're more on the unhealthy side or in an unhealthy season. Uh, and the season could be a day, could be a couple of days, could be a week, right? And then I think I think we might make it really hard for the people around us.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

You know, and that's interesting. And and um we can cut this out if you don't want people to know, but uh your husband was actually our type nine informant on a LinkedIn uh series that we did all about understanding the nine in our lives. So that's you know, sometimes people uh will also kind of confuse the four and the nine. I think maybe some of that, I don't know, some at times withdrawn energy, but also there's some some significant differences.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah. Yeah, the the difference is enormous. I when I read about, hey, four sometimes are mistyped as a nine, I was like, there's no way. And I I know my husband, we're both open books, so I know I can freely talk about him. Um, he he is he struggles to know what he feels. Yeah. And he struggles to voice it because he wants peace. I have no problem voicing it. So him and I are just a very interesting combination. Yeah. So I don't understand um why some force thinks they're a nine, except for we both withdraw. That's very strong with both the nine and me. And so that's very interesting in our household too, is then what we're no, when we're not well, we both withdraw. So we have to work really hard, like, hey, we're doing our thing, let's come together.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Oh, that's so that is interesting. Well, as a seven, I resonate a lot with some of that nine energy at times, like the conflict avoidant. Um, just keep it light, don't get too deep. Like, I don't want to be overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

And with me, then there's such need to feel felt. And like what you just described, these kind of like, yeah, let's just move on, let's not stay here too long. And I'm like, I need to be here a lot longer.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

When I'm not planning for the next episode or getting to interview the next podcast guest, I'm probably out doing an Enneagram team training or a group workshop experience. Because while Enneagram MBA is a podcast, it is also a team training company, which means whether you have a team of four or 40 or are planning an event for 400 people, there is an experience that is waiting to be created just for you and your team or organization or event. And I'm going to invite you to start that process over at enneagrammba.com where you'll be able to check out some of the initial ideas and options and then reach out to get in touch to start planning your own.