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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Do you work with somebody who's already been sitting in their chair or logged on at least an hour before you even walk in the office? And they tend not to complain about getting early and staying late. They they enjoy it. Do you work with somebody who almost makes, almost is annoying because they make all of their success just look effortless? It's like, oh my gosh, this person is good at everything and they make it look so easy. Do you work with somebody who maybe you notice when you're in a meeting or in a conversation, they're kind of seeming impatient. They're almost kind of doing that hand gesture with just like, let's get onto it, let's get to the bottom line. If so, if any of these are ringing uh true, you may be working with an Enneagram type three. Now, as we've said in all of these episodes in this series, this is not only threes that can act this way. And not all threes behave this way all the time, forever and always. These are some common tendencies that we're looking at in this series because we may not know uh what their Enneagram type is because they don't know about the Enneagram, they don't know what their type is. This might be a client even in our life. Um, and they didn't go through the training that that we went through with our team. Um, but you can start to see, okay, they are seeing this project or this conversation much differently than me. And I think this might be where they're coming from. Let me ask some questions to get some more clarity to better understand them. And the whole intention of all of this, and really anytime we're sitting in an Enneagram workshop, I've been saying this a lot this year, is that the point is not to become an expert in the Enneagram. It is to become an expert about ourselves and about our teammates. We spend so much time at work. It is worth the extra time and effort and energy to get to know what we prefer so that we can support and advocate for ourselves, and then also understand where somebody else is coming from so that we maybe don't get as frustrated or the conflict doesn't last as long. It's there's gonna be conflict and friction. It's inevitable. Uh, but because we understand where how we're seeing something versus how our teammate might be saying something, we can navigate it through, navigate through that a little bit more easily. Um, and then when we step outside of the office or log off, we're not carrying around frustration, annoyance consistently. And then that can impact our whole lives. So, really, what happens at work is important and the way that we treat people and ourselves at work matters because it impacts everything else around us. So that is the intention of this series. If you are new here, welcome to the show. I truly am so glad that you're here. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, owner and lead trainer here at Enneagram MBA, where we pretty much exclusively uh bring the Enneagram, share the Enneagram with teams, um, doing trainings, workshops, half day, full-day workshops, and then team programming using the Enneagram. And uh this series, we are coming to a close. We have covered five, six, seven, eight, nine, one last week, two, three today, and then we'll close it out with our type four next week. So if you have missed any of those, um, but you have some teammates that you know of or want to learn more about the other types, please check those out. Please share those with those on your team and use it as a starting point for a conversation. So, with all of that said, let's jump in and learn a little bit more about our type three. So, before we get into some common tendencies, let's just really quickly get on the same page as far as what is a three, what makes a three a three. So, at the end of the day, and out of all of the types, we've talked about this before, we all have, we all have, we can all be motivated by all nine types. We can all have behaviors of all the nine types. Um, but this is especially true for the type three, especially in the work environment. Um, I always say if the United States has an Enneagram type, it would probably be a type three because we have just grown up with this, you know, be successful. Um, we're applauded for our accomplishments, our title, our salary, where we live, what we drive, what we wear. Um it's just kind of uh it's a it's a culture thing, especially here in the United States. And then at the workplace, that's you kind of double down on that. You kind of you get rewarded for similar things. So many people um will maybe first identify with a type three or really struggle between another type and a type three. And some of it um is truly that is what motivates them. And then some of the time it's because that has just been so ingrained. It feels like, oh, I should want this, I should do this. Um, and so it's the three gets a little tricky, especially in the workplace, to distinguish between um and to even kind of identify because we all probably have some of these characteristics at work. I hear a lot of people say, well, I'm one way at work and then I'm another way at home. And most of the time when people tell me about who they are at work, they're describing these, a lot of these type three tendencies, but they say, but you know, at home I can really be myself and I'm a, you know, I feel like I'm more of a type nine or a type seven or whatever it might be. So just a little disclaimer there. But uh the thing though that will help you determine am I a three or you know, what's what what's really behind the three energy is their desire to be outstanding. They want to feel outstanding, they want to feel and be successful, accomplished. And one of their many superpowers is just this achievement, this accomplishing their goals and obtaining success and whatever they take on. Like they are good at everything. Sometimes one of the nicknames for our three is the role model. And it is because they are they are inspiring, they tend to be charismatic a lot of times, and you're just like, wow, look at all that they're doing, and they make it look easy. So sometimes you can think, ah, they're just good at everything. Um, sometimes, though, when that energy is overused or used on autopilot, um, some of their struggles can include kind of being a workaholic, just always in work mode. And this probably impacts their family and friends and their personal life more so than it impacts uh their coworkers or their boss, right? That's almost uh it's almost the benefit, right? We want everybody to grow and you know uh have be self-aware and personal growth journey. But a lot of times when threes start to make some changes, um, it's a little bit more difficult at work for their coworkers to accept some of the changes because they're so used to them always being available. So that's kind of an interesting one uh when we get into talking about growth. Um another common struggle that that threes may face is defining themselves by their status or their income, some of those materialistic uh definitions of success. They can sometimes see other people as slowing them down. So last week we talked about how important relationships and connection are for a type two and for a type three. Um, they can notice feelings and and and maybe recognize how somebody's doing or feeling. Um, and they may think, you know, we'll come back to this, but right now we have a job to do. We have a goal to reach, we have a result we need to get. So we need to push any feelings to the side. We don't want to get overly emotional, and that includes themselves. And then um, they do sometimes have this individual contributor syndrome where they are absolutely outstanding. They are a top salesperson of the year, winning all the trips, winning the awards, getting the bonuses. Um, but when they have to, when they move into a leadership role because of all the success they've had as a leader as an individual contributor, it can be a tough place to be in the beginning to kind of navigate, okay, who am I? How do I I need to redefine success now because historically it's been what I am doing, what I am achieving. And now I'm leading a team and I need to delegate and they're gonna be doing the things that I may be great at, um, or they may be getting recognition when I when I used to, but it's it's really um you you you know a three is growing when they're kind of stepping into more of like group success and allowing others to shine um with their contributions. And then one of the other things that they may struggle with is not try new things because they're afraid they're going to fail. Nobody likes to fail, but for a type three, it is it is it is the worst. It is very, very difficult. Okay, so that is what makes a three-a-three. And I think when you even understand that a little bit, um, you have a little bit more empathy maybe for your type three coworker, just knowing where they're coming from, kind of what is what is driving them. Um, and so, you know, just having that foundation. But here's some other things to look for. We talked about this one at the beginning. Um, you may be working with a type three if they look impatient during staff meetings and maybe are the first person to look at their watch or their phone. Uh, this sometimes will happen during my own workshops. And I'm not saying all threes do this all the time, uh, but you you can kind of notice that in your teammates uh who tend to do it kind of consistently. Uh, we talked about this one too. You may be working with a type three if they've already been at their desk an hour before you arrive and don't ever complain about working long hours. You might be working with a type three if they're the ones that ask you to speed up your presentation to get to the good part or get to the bottom line, uh making requests like that. You might be working with a type three if they don't stop working overtime or constantly working on vacation. And even after they've had a health scare, they're back at the office, they're logged on, they're ready, you know, to work. Um another little little quick side story here is there's been a couple of different situations where um type three mothers have talked about just their their feeling of um just kind of feeling lost, knowing that they're gonna be taking off so much time after after they have the baby or in the middle of taking off the time. They just feel like I know that I should be enjoying this. I know that this is a very important role, but I just feel I feel lazy. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I don't know who I am, I don't know what to do with myself. Um, because it it is so, it is so tied. Uh their self-worth, um, who they are as a person is just so tied to the work that they do. Um that it it is hard to, it is hard to slow down and it is definitely hard to take a break. You might be working with a type three if they can't find time in their schedule for team building and think that getting in touch with their feelings is just a huge waste of time. Now, again, not all threes all the time, but um, I would say some of my most skeptical uh attendees in the audience tend to be threes and and sixes, which probably no surprise. Um, but also sixes can can be very, very curious as well. But uh yeah, I think a lot of times I'll notice uh and I don't always know that they're a type three, and you know, other types will have this too, but you know, just kind of like, okay, this is taking away from my income-producing activities. I'm not able to make my sales calls, I'm not able to work on this project, I have a deadline. And so it is really hard to step out, you know, to step away from the computer, away from the work, um, even when they're at work, to go through some some training that, you know, how is this going to impact the bottom line? How, how is this going to help me be more successful, accomplish more, et cetera, et cetera? You might be working with the type three if they have a difficulty staying engaged, if the goal and the task aren't clearly outlined. I just did a training actually last night with a group virtually, and there were a handful of threes, and they all really um kind of came around this one of the many things was they they came around this idea. It's like, yes, I I really have a hard time in a meeting without an agenda. I have a hard time when people put, you know, a one-on-one on my calendar, and I don't know what the point of it is. Like, am I just supposed to show up and sit there and listen to you talk for an hour or 30 minutes? Um, I want to know the point behind it. I want to know, like, what are we getting out of this? What is the the goal of our this time together? So, you know, making sure that you have that clearly outlined when you come to your type uh three teammate, they're really gonna appreciate. You might be working with a type three if they know what to say to motivate the team to work together to achieve success. We talked about one of their uh nicknames being the role model or sometimes the pace setter because they're right there in the trenches. They're they're leading by example, and they do tend to be pretty positive. Um, they do tend to uh, you know, have big ideas, big dreams. You know, we can accomplish big things, we can make big things happen. You know, let's go for it. And so you just, you know, feel like you're rallying around them, also motivated and inspired to do big things. So those are a couple clues. Um, by all means, it's not, it's not all encompassing. And then as we start to to think about our teammates and think, okay, you know, this person, I could see this person. They they very well could be coming to this project or a conversation with this type three energy. Um now what? What do I what do I do with this awareness? So we're I'm gonna list just a handful of things to um get along with them better at work. And this might be um a section, maybe you take a couple of notes here if you if someone's coming to mind and uh be a starting point for for getting curious. Um, like, hey, I'm I'm listening to this about type three that you know, they shared these three things are things that type threes appreciate. Do you agree? What would you add? Do you what would you disagree with? Um, so here are some, here are some, again, some common pieces of feedback that threes appreciate in a coworker, but by not all means not 100% true all the time for every three. So they want you to be competent and get your get your projects done, get your work done, get your get yourself together. Uh, they want you to show up prepared, ready to, you know, roll up your sleeves, get to work, put in the time, put in the effort to get to get it done. If you're gonna be on their team, they want you to be a contributing member of that team. Um, they also want you to leave them alone and just do what they do. It does allow them to do what they do. Um, they know what to do, they're very efficient, they're fast, um, and sometimes they can feel like other people might just slow them down. Um, so that's not possible all the time, but you know, rather than peppering them with questions, if you do have questions, is there a more efficient way to ask those questions? Can you make a list and email it or can you make a list and set up a meeting? Um, so just thinking about that. Um, they want their efforts and achievements to be recognized. I've heard from some nines that they like to be recognized and appreciated, but they don't necessarily want you to do it at the team meeting. They don't necessarily want you to call them out in front of anyone else. Definitely not on a stage. Um, not all the time, every nine, but that's just some some common feedback I hear. Um, on the flip side, threes tend to appreciate being called out um in a positive way, being recognized, I guess is a better word, um, in front of their peers and and having their accomplishments uh, you know, recognized and in front of in front of the group. Um, don't waste their time. So they're the kind of type we we've seen those memes. This meeting could have been an email. So just kind of thinking about um how can you, what's the goal when you're going into this conversation or project with the three? How can you get there the fastest? Like what is really needed, not what you what's always been done or what you feel like you should do next, but it's like what is really the most efficient way to get to our goal. Um, and then recognize that relationships can sometimes come secondary to their work. So this is one of the types that are gonna be more focused on the task, our ones, our fives, sometimes our eights might have more of this energy. Where we talked about last week, our twos, nines are gonna be fours, gonna be a little bit more relationship focused, putting the relationship or the person in front, um, making the priority. And like we talked about last week, there's a time and a place for both. Um, sometimes it is very important to take into consideration the relationships and the people on our team. And then other times we just have a task to do. We need, we have a deadline, we need to make this happen. And then lastly, don't expect them to spend time dealing with your feelings. I also think that this is something that fives would probably appreciate. Um, but they're not going to be the ones that, you know, you ask them how they're doing or they ask you how you're doing, and you get into a story about a bad weekend or something you, you know, tough problem you're having. Um, not that they don't care or they're cruel. Um, it's just that they are constantly looking ahead to the future. What's next? What needs to be done? And sometimes that type of connection or that type of conversation can feel draining and it can just feel like, oh, we're really slowing things down. You're slowing me down. Sometimes that is a place of growth for our type threes, especially when we get into that leadership position. So this would be an interesting conversation to have with a type three teammate about what is relevant, any ways that you can work with them better, um, make them feel more, you know, supported, understood, and um, you know, keeping in mind to do it, to do it in the most efficient way possible. So maybe, maybe send them a quick email with some bullet points here. So uh thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. And uh next week we will be diving into our Enneagram type four and closing out this series. I'm excited about some of the other ideas um coming up for the rest of the year and then even into 2024. So um I will see you in the next one.