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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Is there someone on your team that you feel really understood by? You feel really seen, really heard. Uh, they just make you feel like, okay, this person gets me. Like they see me. Is there somebody on your team that you know that when you share a problem or you're just having a bad day? Like this is the person you want to talk to because they're not going to try and problem solve. They're not going to try and have you look on the bright side. They're going to sit there with you and just say, Yeah, you know, that's that does suck. That stinks. Yeah. I'm that I'm sorry that that's happening. Is there somebody on your team that tends to always bring some unique or creative idea to a project or to whatever the team is focused on doing next? You may be working with an Enneagram type four. If some of these hit home, if you if you thought of somebody, um, somebody came to mind on your team. And today we're going to be talking about some other common tendencies of a type four to help you maybe identify if you happen to be working with one. And then we're also going to be looking at, okay, what is the thing that drives a four? What makes a four a four? So that we can understand, have more empathy for those that we are working with. And this might be a teammate, but it also might be a client or some other stakeholder, somebody from a different department. And uh so we'll be thinking about our fours, the fours in our life in this episode. And something that's kind of unique about the fours, which if you are a four listening to this, you probably will appreciate this. This is the type that I see the least of time and time and time again. It is rare that we have, it's rare that we have one type four on a team. Um, it is super rare that we have more than one type four on a team. And I think some of it is just based on the the industries and the teams that I work with and probably are are not conducive to a four thriving um in some of these environments or in in some of these with some of these companies. Um, not anything about the company, but they, you know, our fours tend to be a little bit more um like needing very, very um deep meaning in their work, um, you know, have a little bit harder time uh just doing the mundane tasks without some sort of meaning, deep meaning being connected to it. So some of that might make sense. Um so it'll be interesting um as we go through this, if anyone does come to mind, um, because this is the type that I do see in my experience, the least of. It doesn't mean that they're there, they're not there, and it doesn't mean if they're there that they struggle or don't want to be there. Um, it's just with in my personal experience, this is the the least uh, or I should say the most unique type, which I think our fours will appreciate. So, okay, let's talk a little bit about um what makes a four a four. Before we do, though, I did want to say I almost forgot. This is the last episode in this series. So if you are new to the show, welcome. I'm so glad that you're here. I am Sarah Wallace, your host, owner and lead trainer here at Enneagram MBA, where we exclusively uh work with teams and groups uh to bring the Enneagram to introduction trainings, half-day, full-day workshops and team programming. And this series has been all about others' awareness and kind of some relationship management thoughts. So a lot of times when we listen to podcast episodes or read things, it's about our own type, about ourselves, which absolutely is vital and very important. Uh these last few weeks, we've just taken a break from some of that self-reflection and self-awareness piece to just kind of turn up the notch on our other's awareness a bit. So we have covered five, six, seven, eight, nine, one, two, three, closing it out with our type fours for no other reason than, you know, you most people start with type one, sometimes people start with type eight. And so I'm just trying to kind of switch it around for our starting point when we do these kind of types of series on the different types. So if you happen to have a coworker that is not a four, um, but maybe one of the other episodes is relevant for them. And so I would encourage you to share it with them or use it as a starting point for some questions, some curiosity for how to work with them, what you need to know to work with them better. And then also it might be a conversation for you to share some things as well. So let's talk about our type four, though. The thing that makes a four of four at the end of the day is that they are striving to feel unique. They want to feel significant and they want to be original, one of a kind. And it's it's kind of interesting because being authentic is incredibly important as well to our fours. And so they want to be one of a kind, they want to be authentic, and they want to be accepted for being their authentic self, for being their one-of-a-kind authentic self. One of their superpowers is this ability just to be original. They have a natural ability to see the uniqueness and projects and in others and to put that unique spin, to put that creative spin on whatever it is your group might be working on. Uh, whether it's, you know, something for the team, the organization, an event, um, they are bringing all these great ideas, creative, unique ideas. Now, sometimes when this energy is overused, or maybe it's used on autopilot without a lot of attention to it, um, these deem teammates can want to be different just for the sake of being different. So, you know, whether it makes sense or not, let's reinvent the will. Like, let's spend time reinventing the will so that we can come up with something totally never been done before. Um, and that like that energy has a place, right? It's just we're talking about when it's overused or maybe not used with a lot of intention. Um, sometimes a challenge for this type can be that they're a little slower to decide. They need a little bit more time to process. And uh for some of us, especially in this corporate work environment, uh, we don't have a lot of time, or it's just, you know, efficiency is praised. Getting results, getting to the goal, meeting deadlines are the things that people get recognized for and get pushed to do. And that is sometimes kind of difficult for a four. They like to reflect, they like to think about things, how to check in with how do they feel uh before they have to jump into action or jump into making a decision. Um, sometimes they can be experienced as a little dramatic because they are so comfortable and tend to be so open uh with sharing their feelings. We are human beings, we have a lot of feelings, we have happy feelings, but we also have sad feelings. Like it is all part of the human experience. And fours can be a great example of what it looks like to actually, you know, express the spectrum, the all the feelings on the feeling wheel. Um, but sometimes because of that, especially in the workplace, they can be seen as overly emotional, out of control, so dramatic, moody, melancholy. Um, and then sometimes they may rebel just because, just to kind of, again, just to be different, they're gonna disagree, just to be different and not go along with what everybody is doing. They're not going to, you know, do what everybody else is doing. Um, and then they a little bit like a one can have this insistence on being right. And, you know, on the surface, ones and fours look very different, but this is um, I don't want to say it is very common, but it is not an uncommon uh mistyping experience or typing challenge where your top two results are a one and a four, and you're having a really hard time deciding which one it is. There's a lot of similarities, and that's kind of one that that uh this insistence on being right is sometimes one that fours and ones will share. Okay, so what are some clues that you might be working with a four? Well, you may be working with a four if they have a lot of ideas for how to improve similar to a one, but rather than improve the process, maybe improve the aesthetics of the workplace. The they might, when they walk into a room, they tend to notice, you know, the window treatments, the decorations, the food spread, how's what are the center pieces? Um, kind of what's the vibe, what's the energy of the room that I'm walking into? Not necessarily who's in the room, like our twos or our threes might be a little bit more in tune to, but what is the room itself look like? And so they bring that um awareness and those gifts to also how can we make this office, you know, you know, how can we lift the vibe of this office? How can we make this event space uh more appealing? You might be working with a type four if, you know, maybe they get a little sensitive and maybe even a little defensive if you don't like their ideas. So, you know, sevens might also be the same. These two tend to have um big ideas, creative ideas, you know, big visions. And then when someone says they don't like it or it's not gonna work, like it can feel oh, it can feel heartbreaking uh to have that idea shot down. And so it might come out as um, you know, being defensive or just kind of, you know, you might just notice the sting. Uh, you might be working with a type four if they bring a sense of creative thinking to everything that your team does from um the contact that you have with customers, maybe it's some sort of creative idea with gift giving for the holidays. Uh, maybe it's a a new creative idea for how to run a team offsite or do a team training or how to, you know, make the space that much more creative and appealing. So all kinds of things that I'm not even thinking of. Um, that fours are are this is an absolute gift of a four. Um you'll just kind of notice like, wow, this person just comes natural. They just have this ability to see what colors will work, what what what we can do here um for this project that's that's nobody else is thinking, everybody else is thinking about processes or um you know what we've always done and they're bringing something unique and different. You might be working with a type four, if they've maybe mentioned to you, maybe not in the group, but maybe you know, while you're waiting for the the coffee to to uh to be made at work, they've maybe mentioned that they just feel like they don't fit in sometimes and that they feel misunderstood. People don't understand them. Um, they might have shared that before. You might be working with a type four if they seem more intense, perhaps, than your average coworker. So you know, you know who these people are. Um, and they they can be experienced as intense for those of us, especially who maybe are a little bit more uncomfortable with some of those big feelings and and some of those emotions in general, especially um the emotions out of the happy, excited range. You might be working with a type four if they work hard to prove themselves and even harder when they're anxious. So this is a little similar to some type one energy right here. Uh, but again, they we talked about they want to belong. That is very important to them to be accepted and to belong. And then one step further is to belong for being their authentic real self. Um, you might be working with a type four if they have this tendency to maybe sometimes look on the dark side without noticing or appreciating what's actually going well. Um, you know, each, you know, our type sevens have a reputation for being optimistic. Not all sevens are always optimistic. Same thing here, not all fours are always every day pessimistic, but they tend to maybe have a little bit more pessimistic energy than some of the other types. Um, and some of that comes from this in this just feeling of feeling uh inherently defective. Like where one might feel that way, they might think, okay, if I can just work hard though, if I can just put in more effort, I will be good enough. I will be good enough. So they're kind of on that constant pursuit of that, where a four just kind of just kind of accepts like, well, this is just who I am. I'm just, yeah, there's something wrong with me. I was born like this. There's nothing that can be done. Now, um, they bring a lot of strengths. And then, like we all do, we have our, we have our shadow sides, we have, you know, some things that that may be sabotaging us or hurting our relationships at work. Um, so if somebody's coming to mind though, I want you to also think about how to get along better with this energy. So we we're bringing some awareness to our coworkers. Maybe we've we've identified uh someone who might be approaching a conversation or a project through this lens. What can we do to get along with them better at work? Um, and this out of all of the types, I would say uh this is definitely a starting point. And fours will will have some thoughts on what their preferences are and and what's going to feel supportive and allow them to feel seen and heard by you. Uh, but this could be a starting point. So to get along with your type four team teammate, um, they will say things that they appreciate, like make a sincere effort to understand them. You know, just don't say like, oh, how how was your day? How was your weekend? They hate small talk. Might as well not even, might as well not even be talking, talking about the weather, the season, what day of the week it is. Oh, it's Friday. Oh, well, it's a Monday. Oh, the fours do not like that. They want to get into it, they want to get into the meat of what is going on, and they want you to ask them some meaningful questions and to really um feel like you're interested in getting to know who they are underneath the surface. To get along better with the type four, you can let them know that you value them and all of their unique contributions. Again, just kind of they want to feel seen, they want to feel heard. And so whether you agree or use their idea, just acknowledging, hey, you know, maybe that doesn't work right now for where we are with the client, but that was a really great idea or appreciated the creativeness about um, you know, your suggestion to this project. And then um something else that FORS will talk about um appreciating is just they want to be authentic and honest and they really appreciate that in other people, you know. So if you're not feeling good that day, if you've had a hard day, if something bad happens, um, you don't have to, you know, read your diary to them or open up if you feel like, oh, this, I don't, I don't know this person at all. But just opening the door just a little bit to be a little bit more transparent really builds trust, can really make for meaningful connections with our type four coworkers. They appreciate that. They don't want to be, you know, they want to be able to share and not be seen as too much. And then in return, they also want to hear about what's going on with you the good, the bad, the ugly. And then lastly, fours will say that they appreciate in their teammates when they are allowed to express how they're feeling without somebody trying to problem solve. So fours are great teammates, great leaders because of this, great friends, because they will just sit there and allow you to just kind of talk it out without problem solving. Sometimes we may need some problem solving, um, but most of the time we really just want someone to listen. We may already know what to do or we'll figure it out, but we just need to vent and get it out first. And fours really appreciate it when you can return that uh that favor to them and just sit and listen and acknowledge, yeah, that's hard. You know, that's rough. I'm sorry. Yeah, that stinks that you're going through that. Um, and just allow them to be upset, to be sad, to be uh anxious, whatever it might be, without jumping into problem solving mode. And that's hard. That is hard, especially for some of the Enneagram types. So that will that would be a point of growth when you're when you're able to do that. So um that concludes our series on better understanding our coworkers and understanding maybe what type we're working with. Um, not so that we can put them in a box or a label, but just so that we can um use this as a starting point and recognizing, oh my gosh, you know, here I've been seeing these problems or this project or situation or conversation um or relationship through this lens. And I've been making these assumptions about this person, but holy cow, when I see it like this, I see, you know, their intention really is good. This is they're just seeing it, they're just coming at it from a different perspective. Um, and so this can really open up a conversation for getting curious and less judgmental, kind of like the Ted Lasso quote. So um I hope you've enjoyed this. I hope that you've enjoyed it and I hope that it's been helpful the episodes that you have listened to. Um, if this is your first one, like I said, I encourage you to go back and catch any of the others that might be relevant for the people on your team or potential clients. And then as always, if there's anything that you would add to this as a type four listening or experience working with a type four, reach out, send me a message on LinkedIn or um Instagram at Enneagram MBA. And then also if you have an idea for another series, what's a specific piece of the Enneagram or an application concept that you would like applied to the Enneagram types, I always love to hear from you and getting ideas from what is going to be most interesting and helpful to you. So thank you so much for being here, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.