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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. If you are joining us again for another episode, welcome back. If you are new, welcome. We are kind of in and out of a series around using the Enneagram in performance reviews or to give feedback with and not just you know, quote unquote negative feedback, but also positive feedback and being a little bit more specific and details and using the Enneagram to kind of expand our language, our insight as to maybe what specifically to look for, what specifically to comment on, outside of great job on this, or work on being more competent, or work on your pupil skills, or you know, just getting a little bit more detailed. So I know most likely your organization, your team already has some resources out there. This is meant to complement what you're already using, what you're already thinking about. Um we have if you're new, if this is the first time listening, we are covering the type eight today. We have covered the type six and the type seven in previous episodes. So check those out. The rest are to come. So come back if if you are interested in the others. Um, what we're going to do is talk a little bit about uh potential blind spots, what it looks like to overuse a strength in this case as a type 8, and the power of that makes sense. I'll share more on that in a minute. Um, and then we're gonna look at using the arrows or your resource points, those other two types that your type is connected to with the lines, um, to give some specific guidance for growth, development. And then we're also gonna look at how we can pull in some of those emotional competency, uh, I guess emotional competencies uh that overlay with those three types. So three specific recommendations when it comes to emotional competencies to take a look at, gonna give you some questions to consider based on an exercise we do inside our uh half or full day workshops. And um use this as an individual contributor if you identify with this type, or if you happen to be leading this type, give you some ideas to help, you know, give more specific feedback in a performance review or or just you know, feedback as is, and then we'll wrap it up with some delivery uh recommendations. And again, I may say something today, like all the types, that a type, the type A on your team will absolutely hate, or that does not resonate because they have already done a lot of growth, or because maybe that's not the the gonna get the most bang for their buck based on what they need to work on. Um, or when we talk about delivery recommendations, they may prefer the opposite. So this is meant to be a starting point. And ideally, you're having a conversation uh before you're giving feedback of any kind about their feedback preferences, how they want to be uh, you know, given that information and what's most effective for them. And then this is also an opportunity for managers who maybe don't identify in this case with the type eight to think about, oh, what's my kind of natural tendencies? And how does that uh support the feedback process with this type 8? Or how might I be, how could I be more effective, or what changes might I need to make so that I'm giving this person the support that they need in a way that that is going to be most effective and productive for them. So with that, let's look at our type eight. Um, our type eights, as as always, uh are striving to feel powerful. At the end of the day, they're looking at the the world through who has power, who has control. They can absolutely follow. They just need to feel confident in the person that they follow has what it takes to lead them, um, you know, lead them successfully into the future to go far and fast and are also confident and capable. Uh, they also see the world through protecting themselves, protecting them, their team from any sort of vulnerabilities. Um, they're they're sometimes known as the protector because they very much um it takes a minute to get inside the inner circle of an eight, but once you're there, um you are there and they are they're gonna protect themselves as where well as that inner circle. Um, eights uh tend to be really good at speaking and communicating clearly, concisely. They tend to be decisive, uh, they tend to be confident in the way that they are speaking. Um, they tend to uh be bold. They wanna, that's kind of that Nike energy. Just do it. Don't overthink it, just do it. So they are very action-oriented, uh, they're very honest. You'll never have to really wonder where you stand with an aid or what they think. They're gonna they're gonna tell you. If they have an opinion, they will absolutely tell you. Uh, they tend to be very strong-willed. We talked about them being protective. Um, they thrive in a challenge where sometimes chaos or um, you know, chaos criticism, a difficult client situation, a difficult team situation uh could really stress others of us out. And eight tends to, uh, they're not necessarily looking for it, but they really thrive in a challenge. They they can they can kind of make order out of chaos. Um, and one of the best qualities or a strength that an eight has is that they inspire all of this in others. So they make great leaders because of that. They also make great teammates because when you're walking uh or when you're working next to an eight, you kind of feel like you can take on the world too. You might, you know, walk with a little extra pep in your step. You might, you might be a little bit more uh confident in the way that you speak up. You might share your opinion. Um, and and maybe before you weren't gonna speak up and share it because you've been hanging out with this eight. So eights offer so many wonderful qualities as a leader and as a teammate. Now, sometimes when that strength is overused, um, it can come across as bullying, kind of that, you know, brutally honest. It can, they think they're given tough love and it's really uh harming their relationships, the way that they're communicating it. Um, they can sometimes overwhelm others, others feel like, gosh, they're really just dominating the conversation, they're trying to dominate me. Uh, sometimes they can feel like because they do have such strong opinions and can speak so directly, uh, they will have this tendency when the strength is overdone to always need to be right, to always need to be in charge, to make the final call, my way or the highway, kind of. Um, they can have this bull in a china shop syndrome where they don't really care what other people think, which is such a great quality. And again, when overused or overused in certain situations, um, you might say something that that harms the company's relationship with the client or the reputation, or um, you know, maybe wasn't the right thing to say in that manager's meeting. And again, it's a great quality until it's overused. And so uh one of the things sometimes eights and threes or eights and ones will be confused in the typing process, and ones and threes tend to be much more aware of how their words and actions will be perceived and um therefore be a little bit more politically correct, a little bit more diplomatic. Um, and so uh an eight, though, on the other hand, uh will not be uh as worried with that. Sometimes they can be a little impulsive, can be a little impatient with others, with the team, and they may not follow the rules or you know, kind of what's maybe the unspoken norm of your company culture or the the vibe or or whatever it might be. They're gonna be uh I have coffee mugs that I make for our type eights, and sometimes I'll I'll I'll use the the little slogan rebel with a cause. Uh, because they usually always are are have a cause uh that they feel passionate about. Sometimes they just may be a rebel in situations, which again is great. And so you want to highlight that strength, you want to highlight um that to your type eight that you're giving feedback to, make sure you're leaning in, you're given some specific language here. And then it's just a matter of love that energy, love that boldness, that confidence, that that's those strong communication skills. It's just if if they're running into challenges, if they're having uh challenges with client relationships, team relationships, just challenges in general, um there may be something in here, and it's just maybe that they're overusing it. So to kind of um, I don't want to say dampen this, but to enhance the strengths that they already have. Um, an eight will use their arrow to their resource points, um, are to a two and to a five. Now uh the five can also be kind of their stress reaction. So fives are striving to feel detached. When an eight is under stress, they've you know kind of tapped out their own coping mechanisms, defense strategies, they're gonna make that that lateral move and maybe take on some of the unhealthy or extra stress qualities of a five, which can be um being even more detached, withdrawing, um, maybe being a little bit stingy with their time, their energy, their resources, um, whatever that might be, maybe be even a little bit more cynical. Eights are known for being rational, um, but they could kind of dip into some some cynicism here, um, and then become really extra critical of others when they're when they're leaning into some of those uh strategies of the five, those stress strategies of the five. Now, on the other side, um, it can stress an eight out with their type two. So sometimes it's called um the neglected strategy because they're gonna neglect striving to feel connected because that can open you up to vulnerabilities. Uh, that can also open you up to maybe slowing down because you're connecting with others, you're building relationships. So maybe you're not moving as fast towards the goal. Ironically, there's a lot of opportunities there. And for um, you know, managers guiding a type eight, giving some specific feedback and recommendations for things to look at. Um, there's opportunities in in both of those, uh, but especially um our type uh our type two, and there's gonna be some things within the type uh five as a resource point that an eight can also grow into, and you can as a manager give some specific feedback. So um, while eights initially might neglect that connected, striving to feel connected type two energy, um, when they bring that in, when they open themselves up more to connecting with others, they can become more empathetic, more compassionate, more caring about their team. And I think naturally they are. They just have maybe a wall up when they're stressed or when they're not feeling safe or whatever reason. They might have that wall up uh that kind of disconnects them from that. But I think deep down, eights are, you know, I think of AIDS as just big teddy bears underneath some of that confident, bold um energy. And there definitely is that. Um and and also they care a lot about people. And so when they feel safe, uh, when you know they have that safety at work, uh, when they have that encouragement and support from their leadership, they're gonna be a little bit more open to that. They're gonna be a little bit more emotionally vulnerable, um, and maybe a little bit more open and receptive, not just to connections, but to feedback, to suggestions, whether it's like a personal suggestion or just a suggestion about a project that they're a part of. Um, when they tap into the strengths of that other resource point, the type five, um, they're gonna be receptive to others' contributions, they're gonna slow down, they're gonna be willing to slow down a little bit more, um, allowing others to come along, allowing others to contribute, allowing others to share their ideas, to be a part of the process. So, whereas eights have a strength of jumping into action, just do it. Um, when it's overused, we talked about how it can be impulsive and impatient, kind of bulldoze others over. When they bring the strength of the five in there, they're gonna be a little bit more okay slowing down and a little bit more thoughtful before they act. And so that's when you know, okay, our eight is really this I am as an eight really growing when I slow down a little bit and think things through. And um, as a manager, you might notice some growth when an eight's taking on these uh qualities. Now, when you overlay the the emotional competencies, there's some there's a lot of opportunity for our eight around the communication competency, which is being a little bit more others aware. And eights, we talked about, they have a strength for their communication. Um, however, within that type structure, there's also opportunity to improve their communication by matching the person in front of them, being a little bit more politically uh aware of how their message, their tone, their words are going to be perceived, whether it's in front of an individual or a group of people. So they'll have some opportunity to kind of dial in their communication style. And sometimes they might need to dial it back, maybe a little bit more softer, gentler, less direct approach. Uh, in some certain situations, though, that's gonna be where you want. You want to dial it up, you want to be direct, right? But just understanding, you know, where you are on that dial uh can be a point of growth for our eights with the communication competency. The competency in this case attached to the type two is empathy, and that is also under that other's aware. So sometimes eight does have that kind of my way or the highway. Well, if I did it, so can you. Um, you know, hate people, the not hate people, but hate it when people slow them down. Um, you know, don't bring your problems to me, only bring solutions. You know, I don't want to hear about your bad day. Um, let's just get to work, let's just do it. And when AIDS can bring in more of that empathy, understanding of someone else's experience that might be very different from them, um, you know, fully see somebody, you know, and uh how they can be very different, not just different, but they grew up different, they're coming from a different background, um, they see the world differently. Um, eights are can really, really grow as a leader and as a teammate when they're incorporating that type two empathy that that twos tend to naturally have and be good at. Um, and then they can also uh they also have an opportunity for growth in the self-control competency, which is a self-management competency. And fives tend to be really good at this one. Um, they tend to be very logical. It's kind of show me the data, don't give me the drama. We've talked about that before. They may they don't get too excited either way, either positively or you know, they don't get too anger, angry, they don't get too excited or happy. They just kind of maintain that that self-control. Um, and now, you know, on the flip side, we we will talk about fives can get a little self-righteous, um, a little uh, you know, think of think of themselves a little highly, a little more highly, because they can maintain that self-control and everybody else just is overreacting, getting too emotional, too angry, too sad, too happy. And look at me. I am in control of my emotions at all times, right? So it it we all have the things that that we can dial in or dial up too much and can not serve us. But in this case, eights can tap into that self-control of a five and look for opportunities to maybe lessen their anger, manage that that strong emotion, um, be a little bit more in control of their opinions, thinking a little bit more before they just speak up and and do or say something that they might direct that regret. So for our eights, um, the three emotional competencies that where they tend to get the most bang for their buck are that communication, empathy, and self-control. And so in a um in a conversation, um looking to turn what they're learning from uh information into implementation, we have an exercise uh that we'll do inside some of our workshops. I'm gonna share with you here. We've shared these in the others, but for an eight, the question might be, okay, so we don't want you to become less of an eight necessarily. We it's gonna be hard. You're this the change is not gonna be sustainable if we're saying, hey, you need to, you need to change this about yourself. We need to make sure that whatever comes natural to them, the way that they see the world, we're tapping into that, um, but just kind of redirecting or reframing, re-retelling the story. So we want to work with who you are rather than against your nature. So a first thought is just kind of to actually change, we'll kind of need to update that story that we have. So in the short term, for a type A, uh, we might say, in the short term, my desire to feel powerful can undermine me. In the long run, I'll I'll actually feel more powerful if I practice more connection, if I practice maybe softer communication, if I practice more self-control. So we need to we need to align that core strategy, that core motive with the new behavior, right? We can't just say, oh, because initially the story is I will have less power the more that I open myself up to connection. Or people may not think I'm uh as powerful or in control if I'm not expressing my strong opinions and you know, letting people see, you know, maybe my anger, my strong reaction to this. So the new behavior in this case will make me feel more powerful is the story that we need to tell ourselves. And it doesn't matter what the type is, we we need to work on reframing the story, re-re updating our narrative. Um, and so the the type eight, that's one example. Um, and then we kind of get in more detail with this information to information to implementation plan, where we have three phases. Phase one is increase our awareness. So, what is a goal that we have? What is a goal for the type eight? Um, maybe they're uh, you know, want to connect with their team more, or they uh want, you know, want to enhance or improve their work relationships, whatever that goal is. I I don't know. I'm just throwing that out there as an example. As a type eight, you might have another goal. Then you want to, you got to identify the goal. Then you want to identify what's currently going on. What are my current behaviors? Well, uh, you know, if I'm being honest, sometimes I can overtake a conversation. Sometimes people will think that, you know, I'm speaking clearly and I'm speaking passionately, but others might take it as I'm domineering, I'm I'm talking over them, I am angry, I'm just passionate, but others might see it as I'm angry. So these are the things I'm doing. Um list the impacts then of that current behavior on the team. So when I act that way, you know, I shut down creativity, I shut down other people speaking up. Uh it becomes less of a team project and more of just, you know, maybe a me project, which some mates might not see that as a problem. But if the goal is to, you know, work on my work relationships, enhance my team relationships, that could could get in the way. So the impacts of my current behavior on the team are, and then list the potential benefits of the team with this new goal. So if I am able to um, you know, build stronger, more emotionally connected relationships, improve my work relationships, what will the benefit be for the team? Maybe everybody feels more comfortable speaking up. So we have new ideas. Uh, we're actually more efficient and productive because we're getting problems and challenges out on the table from the get-go rather than people being afraid of speaking up and we're not gonna have to deal with them later on. We're able to address them sooner in the process because people feel more comfortable speaking up or whatever it might be. So that's phase one. Identify the goal, um, identify your current behavior, um, list the impacts on the team, and then list the benefits of the team. So obviously, I just took that as a type eight, but as a manager working with the type eight, um, you can also frame the conversation that way. Then phase two is understanding your obstacles. And this is something that I think gets left out. I've said this in all these that gets left out of the um of the goal process, being successful with a goal is you forget to identify the obstacles. And I've I've done this too. So, you know, I want to go to the gym five days a week. Well, I, you know, keep not having childcare, or I keep, you know, things come up or whatever. So an obstacle might be where a workaround to an obstacle might be, you know, calling, um, you know, working it out with your partner. Hey, I want to go to the gym on these days, or calling a parent if you have that available, um, or you know, doing an at-home workout one or two days of the week because you won't have child care. And so instead of not doing it at all, is there something else? So those workarounds, what are the obstacles? Um, identify in this case how your preferred strategy is in conflict with that goal. So, how is striving to feel powerful in conflict with, in this case, the example of, you know, building uh more meaningful connections, improving your work relationships? Well, you know, um we've talked about this before, having connections and it can opens you up to vulnerability. Somebody could take advantage of you, somebody could uh be dishonest, somebody could uh intentionally or unintentionally, you know, uh do something that negatively impacts you and it then, you know, you don't trust them. Um so you know, that that can be in direct conflict with that. However, the second part of this is to reframe the preferred strategy so that it aligns with the goal. So, how can that's what we just did right before this, reframing that narrative. How can striving to feel perfect or striving to feel powerful actually align with improving my relationships? I will feel more powerful if I have, you know, am more vulnerable in my relationships if I improve those relationships, if I, you know, maintain more self-control, whatever that might be. And then phase three is plan and practice. So you want to first, in this case, uh or in this phase, identify a specific action or new way of thinking. So it might be um, I'll speak last. I'm gonna make a goal to speak last. I'm gonna let everybody else on the team share their opinion, share their ideas, and then I'll share mine at the end rather than, you know, going out the gate with my opinion. Maybe we never get to others. Or um I may um actively uh, I'm trying to think, uh, you know, I may work on some, I don't know, breathing techniques, or I might uh make sure that I'm I'm moving my body or doing some sort of breath exercise so that when I do feel a strong emotion coming on, I've had practice kind of regulating the strong emotions. And I mean, that's really hard, but uh those are those are some examples. I'm not saying that's exactly what you want to do or what you want to suggest, but but those are some examples. Um, and then who else needs to be involved? Do you have somebody at home that you need to help you? Do you need your manager? Is there a teammate? Um, do you need uh, you know, I don't know, uh outside support, therapist, life coach. Uh what who else, if anyone, needs to be involved? And then lastly, how will you know that progress has been made? How will you know? Um, you might solicit feedback from your teammates, your manager could circle back around and give you some feedback. Um, you may notice, hey, you know, we're our maybe our meetings are lasting an extra 15 minutes, but it's because more people are having time to share their ideas and opinions. Or I'll know that I'm making progress because we don't always go with my idea. We don't always go with my suggestion because others are speaking up and we're we're going with theirs just to kind of continue on with their this example. So this may not be again, like I said at the very beginning, as a type eight, you may already have been working on these things, you may have these things nailed. So then it's a matter of, okay, where where are my biggest challenges? Where am I having the most difficulties at work? It's causing me the most stress or frustration or annoyance. And then what do you need to work on maybe outside of these three emotional competencies? Or maybe there's something about another type that you want to tap more into. Maybe it's, hey, I need to have more fun. I need to be more spot and spot and uh spontaneous, like the seven or whatever it might be. Um, again, it's not about following the Enneagram plan exactly. It's what do you as a as a human, as a professional, what do you need the most right now? So this is some guidance. This gives some specific ideas for what to look at. If there's something in there, dive more into it as either as an individual or maybe use this as a starting place to give feedback to your type uh eight uh teammate. And then lastly, when we're talking about how to deliver the feedback. So we kind of have talked about okay, here's here's what we might say, here's some specific recommendations, but how do we actually want to deliver this feedback to a type eight? Time and time again, I hear that eights want you to give it to them straight. They don't need the sandwich method, they don't need a big backstory, they don't need a big buildup. They just want you to come out and say it. And the more direct and specific you can be, the more that they are going to respect you. Even if maybe you think it's gonna sting, and maybe even if it does sting, they are going to appreciate it. I hear it time and time and time again. They say, you know, even if it does sting at first, I'm gonna respect you. Or if you disagree with me, um, I I and you speak up though, I'm I'm gonna, I'm gonna still respect you. So um they they love and appreciate that direct and honest feedback. They want the feedback to be results based. So connect it back to the goal, to the results. Um, avoid micromanaging them as much as possible, like our sevens and some of the other types do not want to be micromanaged. So avoid it at all cost. You know, rather than giving maybe a very, very specific suggestion, zoom out a little bit and then ask them, what do you suggest under this umbrella? What are some specific uh actions you would recommend or could see working? And then um allow for some input. Uh, they want to be, they want to be willing, uh, they want you to be willing to engage in some healthy pushback. So they may, as a manager, you may offer your thoughts um and to really support an eight, though, be open to them pushing back, maybe disagreeing in a respectful, healthy way. Um, at the end of the day, when you're giving feedback to an eight, they want to know where they stand. So they want it to be very clear. They don't want any of this, you know, wishwashy, kind of soft, gentle feedback. Um, and they want to feel confident in the person giving them feedback. And this is a theme that we specifically talked about with the type six too. They want to trust that feedback. And that's hard to do just in a in a single meeting. And, you know, okay, I'm gonna be trustworthy. I want this six to trust me. It's like there are some things that has to happen days, weeks, months, years ahead of time for this feedback to be taken seriously, to be effective, um, to be helpful to the eight. They need to know that they can trust you. And that doesn't happen, you know, inside a single meeting, right? So um, those are some delivery things to think about as you as you kind of we've talked about what to say using um the strengths, making sure that you are also sharing strengths uh with your eight. It's not just all kind of negative what they're doing wrong. But if you're gonna say they did a great job, give them some specifics as to what they did a great job about, how they use those strengths. And then um we talked about ways that they can overuse their strengths as a type eight, what it might look like uh when they tap into the unhealthy qualities of that five stress arrow, and then how they can tap into specific behaviors of the two and the eight resource points. And then when we overlay the emotional competencies around self-control, empathy, and communication, there's some opportunity there. And we talked just now about uh some tips for delivering this feedback to an eight, whether it is positive or or uh opportunities for growth there. So if you are an eight and disagree or would add to any of this, we do have the Enneagram hotline now. So let us know. Voice memo, uh, voice or text message. You can leave your feedback there. If you manage an eight and have some additional thoughts, share those as well. Uh we'll be coming out with the others, probably nine, type nine next. We'll see. Um, so uh would love to hear from you though if you have additional experience or insights on that. Enneagram in real life, type eight in real life, let us know. Let us know what uh you would you would add to this conversation. Um, if you are a team leader or a team looking to bring um content like this, specific growth opportunities, development opportunities, understanding your stress style, understanding what growth looks like for the different members on your team, um, you can learn more about the workshops that we have here at Enneagram NBA over at EnneagramNBA.com. Um, we are already booking late summer, fall, even starting to talk about end of the year workshops. So if that is something on the horizon for you, check out the options, see if anything might make sense, and we can have a conversation and keep that conversation going. So I appreciate you being here, and I'll see you in the next one.