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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. If you are joining us for another Enneagram at Work episode, welcome in general. If you are new, I hope I get to be saying welcome back to you soon. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and CEO here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. If you have a team building, leadership development event coming up this summer, this fall, uh even this winter, we are starting to plan for end-of-year events. Um a great place to start getting a better uh idea of our style, our workshop options, topics is over at EnneagramMBA.com. With that, we are in the middle of a series right now around using the Enneagram in performance reviews or just feedback conversations, check-in conversations. And uh we have covered, let's see, six, seven, eight, nine, one so far. Gonna be talking about type two today. The format for these have been starting off with the strengths of that type. So in this case, we're gonna start off with the strengths of a two. And the reason why we do that is because um two reasons. One is part of feedback is also remembering to bring up the the good things and the strengths that you see in that person and the strengths that have allowed them to hit their goals. And two is to be more specific than maybe you have been by getting some additional ideas, things to keep an eye out for, expand your your language a bit more uh with the help of the Enneagram. Sometimes we'll hear that, you know, uh, well, one, sometimes the strengths part get just gets overlooked altogether, and we just jump into, you know, weaknesses and what you need to get better at. Um, and then also when there is a mention of, you know, uh a kind of a pat on the back, it's it's very general, like, great job, keep it up, keep doing what you're doing. It's like, okay, well, what exactly uh should I keep doing? And so we're gonna talk a little bit about maybe some things you want to pull out and mention for a type two that you happen to be leading. Or if you are a type two, something you wanna, some things you wanna make sure that you give yourself credit for and bring up in those feedback conversations. Um and so we'll we'll look at the strengths. We'll look at what is it, what does it look like when those strengths are sometimes overused and the power of the that makes sense statement when it comes to those? We're gonna look at uh some specific development ideas when it comes to your connecting arrow points or your resource points. And then we're gonna look at based on those three points, what are three emotional competency competencies that may might make the most sense for your team member as a type two to focus on? And then lastly, we're going to look at okay, we've talked about what a type two, uh, what you might say to a type two. Then we're just gonna talk about a handful of things to consider with the delivery or the how you give that feedback. So if you are ready, let's jump into this type two conversation. So, as a reminder, our type twos are striving to feel connected. They see the world through relationships, um they want to be connected with others. Sometimes they're known as the helper because they will help for the sake of connecting with those that they they really care about. Um's are an incredibly supportive teammate. They're really great at building relationships, building rapport. They're very good at nurturing their people as a leader. They tend to always see the best in others. Um, even when someone else is ready to give up on them, they they see the potential inside people. They tend to be pretty empathetic and understanding, really concerned with others. Uh, you know, how are you doing? Uh, what do you need? How can I be support that need? They tend to be very dependable, uh, they're engaged, they they truly care about the people that they work with. They, you know, they're they're willing to step up and do what they need to do to be a good teammate, to be a supportive teammate. Uh, we talked last week or last episode about the type one, and they're a little bit more task-oriented, and so some of their opportunities for growth are to focus on relationships and being a little bit more people-oriented. Um, almost the opposite is true for our type twos, where they are being people-oriented, focusing on rapport and relationships just tends to come natural for them. Um, and that is absolutely a strength in our type two. Their uh leadership style is known as the coach because they they are their not, you know, barking orders or you know, this authoritarian leadership style. It is truly more this coaching um aspect and and really caring and and coaching based on the person in front of them. Who is this person? And let me kind of tailor my style to to that. And they're really good at helping people. Um, they thrive when they help others thrive. Now, on the flip side of that, when those strengths are overdone, um, they can get a little emotional and have some over-emotional responses that might feel overwhelming to others. They can break boundaries, specifically their own boundaries, because they do so much and so often want to be supportive of their team, of a teammate that even if they already have too much on their plate, even if they're already about to leave for work, they're they they have a tendency to say, yes. Um, sure, I can help, sure, I can stay late, sure I can work extra, sure I can put one more thing on my plate. Um, so they'll have to be kind of cautious of that. And that will be an opportunity for growth for our twos. Um, you know, they do thrive and are really great in that supportive role. However, there might be some opportunities for growth for them to step out from behind the scenes and step into the spotlight. Not all the time, you know, for moving forward, you need to be the spotlight, but you know, to take uh a more uh visible role, whether they're the leader or just on the team for a specific amount of time or for a specific project. Um, sometimes they can be a little intrusive or it can feel like on the receiving end that they're being intrusive because of the advice they want to give, the help they want to provide. Sometimes it can feel feel like meddling. Um take care of their own needs and their own, you know, career development because they're so focused on developing their people or they're so focused on taking care of others, uh, they don't put the attention on themselves. Classic kind of put on your own oxygen mask uh reminder right there. Now, our type two in growth has a connection to two points on the Enneagram. Um, it is the point four, the uh the type four, and then also the type eight. Now, the type eight under stress, um that are when they're kind of after they've tapped out their own coping mechanisms, defense strategies, um, they will tend to move to the eight coping mechanisms and stress strategies, which can be really aggressive and highly emotional and domineering. Uh, we've talked about the highway to eight that two sometimes will experience, but there's also some growth opportunities in there. Eights are striving to feel powerful. And so there's some really um, some really awesome tendencies and actions and ways of thinking that a type two can benefit from. Um, one of those being really stepping into that self-confidence, um, stepping into strength and power. And that's where that maybe coming into the spotlight, claiming, you know, authority in certain situations rather than just always kind of being the behind-the-scenes person can come in handy. And then uh fully claiming your needs. Eights tend to be pretty comfortable with asking for what they need, taking what they need. Um, and twos can have that's an opportunity for growth for our twos to kind of tap into some of that energy of the eight there. Um, their growth arrow is known as the type four, striving to feel unique. And this tends to be the one that they neglect the most because striving to unique, being unique, kind of one of a kind, you know, being comfortable on your own feels almost in direct conflict with that striving to feel connected. But there's a lot of good growth opportunities in there for our type two. One of them being that you're gonna pay attention to yourself. Fours are very attuned to how they're feeling, how are they doing, what do they need. So twos have an opportunity to also tune into that and understand what they need and make sure that they're getting for it. Uh, both of those four and eights, there's there's a commonality right there, understanding your needs and and asking for it. Um being a little bit more self-aware. Fours tend to be incredibly introspective. And so twos have an opportunity to to just pause and and and consider, you know, how are some of, you know, I think I'm being really helpful, I think I'm giving great advice, I think I'm being supportive. Um, but let me let me take an honest look at this. Like it are other people experiencing me this way, or is it feeling intrusive or meddling or um, you know, uh domineering? And then uh twos also have an opportunity for some self-compassion. And that I think ties into nurturing yourself, putting on your own oxygen mask, but just you know, being, you know, I can't do it all. I'm gonna need some help. I'm gonna have to ask for some help and being kind with yourself as a type two and not feel like it all has to rest on your shoulders. Now, the three emotional competencies that are um gonna be most impactful for our type twos. In theory, again, each person is different. They may have already been working on some things, there may be something else that they want to work on. But in theory, um, the three emotional competencies for our two have to do with self-control, self-awareness, and self-confidence. So the self-control is tied to the type two energy. And I think uh that has to do with you know, controlling your emotions, controlling uh your response to others. And it a little bit kind of overlaps with some of that type A. I think type eight sometimes can also work on their self-control when it comes to big emotions as well. Um, self-control is a uh self-management competency, and it's defined as the ability to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check and maintain effectiveness under stressful conditions. So there's a big opportunity for our type twos uh to do this. This is kind of average two, maybe who hasn't had a lot of self-awareness. Um, you know, this can be a really impactful place to kind of dig into and see what specific actions and new ways of thinking you want to pull from this idea of being more self-controlled. Um, this doesn't mean, you know, be inauthentic. That doesn't mean be fake. This doesn't mean um, you know, stuff your feelings. It is just uh kind of being more aware of what's appropriate and what situations, and and is there a way to dial back or dial up uh certain situations and really feel in control of those rather than allowing their emotions to dictate decisions, to dictate their reactions. Um, the other one for our type two is the self or is self-confidence that is associated with that type eight energy. Um, self-confidence is under self-awareness. Uh, and our uh the definition for that self-confidence is confidence in your own power and ability. So we already kind of talked on some of that, but there is a huge opportunity for our twos to really step into that the confidence of an eight. Um, I think many of us could could borrow from that eight confidence energy there, but specifically for our twos who tend to be a little bit more comfortable off to the side, behind the scenes, uh, letting other people, and again, you don't have to, you don't have to channel this all the time, every day moving forward, but there may be specific situations that could benefit your career, that could benefit your team if you were to step into this. Um, and then the last one is self-awareness. And this self-awareness is tied to our type four. And self-awareness here is under the self-awareness uh competency category, and it is defined as the ability to understand your own thought processes, your own emotions, and understand your own skills. So get really clear on yes, like embrace what you are good at. Um embrace those emotions. You know, I am feeling frustrated because I feel like nobody is helping me. Like that, that is okay. And just understanding um what you need and being able to advocate for yourself, not just always so aware of others. You know, there's other types that have this self-awareness nailed, um, like our four tend to do. And there may be opportunities to bring in some others' awareness. Twos don't have that problem, they tend to be incredibly um aware of others, and then this self-awareness piece uh is where there's some opportunities for growth. So, what we've been doing then is okay, now the next step in this is to look at this information to implementation plan. And this is not intended to replace the plans and the uh strategies that you have at your organization for growth development, professional development. It's it's to give you some ideas, maybe fill in the gaps or enhance what you already did, be uh just some informal conversation starters and these touch point feedback meetings, whatever it might be. Um, I'm gonna give you three fa the three phases of this action plan, um, implementation plan. And the first phase is to identify the goal. So we gotta, you know, what is our goal here? And the the intention behind this phase is to increase your awareness. So let's first identify the goal. Is it uh, you know, being more self-aware? Let's use that as an example. As a type two, uh, I'm gonna focus on being more self-aware. Okay. Now, what are your current behaviors that might be in conflict with that goal? Um, you know, how are you, what behaviors or ways of thinking are are maybe getting in the way of that? So, so list those. Take some inventory, take some time to sit with that. And and maybe even this could be kind of a living document, a living list. So, you know, hey, these are some things that come to mind now, but I'm gonna keep this in mind as I go through my week or my month and and come back to this and note anything else that I notice. The third part of this phase is to list the impacts of those current behaviors on the team. So um, because you're not self-aware uh or not as self-aware maybe as you could be, um, and those actions are kind of in conflict with that. What are the impacts of the team? And what are the impacts on yourself? Um, it might be, hey, you know, I say yes to things when I really need to be saying no because I am and I'm running myself ragged. I am burnt out, I am tired, I am depleted, I don't have my energy. Um, the impacts on the team is maybe then is I'm showing up irritable, I'm showing up uh frustrated. Uh, maybe because of that self-awareness, I'm I'm giving unsolicited advice that then frustrates others. I'm giving um unsolicited feedback and advice, and people are feeling not seen and not heard because I'm trying to kind of shove down my advice and opinions rather than listen and really understand, you know, what they need. So, bringing what what are the impacts of not being as self-aware as you could be? And then lastly, what are the potential benefits on the team, on your career, on your well-being with this new goal? So, what are the benefits of being more self-aware on your team and in your own career development? So that is phase one. You want to list the goals, you want to understand, take inventory of the current behaviors that might be in conflict with that goal, list the impacts of that current behavior as of now on your team and on yourself. And then what are those potential benefits on your team and on yourself if you were to reach this new goal? Phase two is understanding the inevitable obstacles that are going to come up. There will be things that get in the way of this goal. Let's go ahead and start to understand what those might be so we can plan for them, start reframing our stories around them. And so the first part of this phase is to under or is to identify the preferred strategy and how it's in conflict with the goal. So, in this case, thinking about how is my preferred strategy or the preferred strategy of striving to feel connected in conflict with this self-awareness. Well, a lot of times, you know, it has to do with because I want to be connected, I'm so focused on how others are doing and neglect how I'm doing. Um, how I'm doing feels selfish to focus on that. It feels um, you know, it doesn't feel like it supports being connected because I'm not focused on others. So then we want to reframe that preferred strategy so that it does align with this new goal. So we want to reframe striving to feel connected so that it aligns with the goal of self-awareness. How can being self-aware allow you to be more self allow you to be more connected? Well, I'll have more energy. I'm taking care of myself. Uh, so I will uh, you know, have the time to say yes to the important projects that light me up, and then I can give my all. I can be a supportive and and uh, you know, uh positive teammate that's not frustrated or burnt out. Um, also, you know, maybe my relationships can get even better. Maybe I can be even more connected because I'm self-aware and realizing, oh, you know what, this person didn't want my advice. They just wanted somebody to listen to them. And so you can actually end up having stronger connections because of that self-awareness. And then phase three is uh all about uh preparing uh or planning and practicing. So, okay, phase three, what specific actions or maybe a new way of thinking are you going to take on with this new goal of in this case being more self-aware? Uh, how will you practice being more self-aware? What's a specific action? What's a specific way of thinking? And you know, one action might be um I will say, before I say yes, I will say, because saying no, like that that might feel kind of like a a stretch. So before I say yes to to helping, I am going to say, let me get back to you. Give me the day, give me until tomorrow. Give me until next week and I'm going to check my calendar and get back to you. I, you know, and you can check in with your calendar. You can check in and be aware of your energy level. Do you have the capacity, the emotional time and time capacity to take this on? Um, being more aware, uh, you know, an action might be, you know, before I give my advice, I'm gonna ask somebody, hey, are, you know, are you looking for advice? Or, you know, would it just be helpful if I listened and checking in before you started offering advice? Um, who else needs to be involved? Is it uh a teammate, a manager, somebody at home, a therapist, other outside support systems? Who else needs to be involved in helping you uh achieve this goal and adopting these new ways of thinking and these new behaviors? And then lastly, how will you know that progress is being made? So we understand we've talked about, you know, where are you now? And then where do you want to be with this new goal? And then what is progress along the way look like? How will you know? Is it uh, you know, maybe uh, you know, I'm getting, I'm, I'm getting feedback from my team that they're appreciating how I'm listening more, or um, I've noticed my connections with others actually get stronger because I'm I'm listening, I'm more self-aware of how I'm being perceived, or um, you know, actually I have more energy to connect with my family outside of work or my friends outside of work because I am being more self-aware of my calendar, of my energy level, and I'm saying no when I need to say no so that I'm able to connect more and have the time to connect with my friends and family, whatever, whatever that progress looks like for you. Um, and you know, we've used this example, but you know, you could take it through, you could take the self-control uh emotional competency, you could uh take the uh self-confidence emotional competency, you could take self-awareness and and use some different things. This is just an example to start to get you thinking about the the growth process because so often I love this exercise. So take it as is, take pieces of it. But I I really like the questions here because it requires us to start to think about how we're gonna use this information. A lot of times we just we just kind of learn about the Enneagram and then can can just stay there, just stay there and learning more about our type, learning more about the other types, which is good. Well, like we absolutely need to do that, but many people just stop there and never take it into practice, practice applying it. And so this exercise, when you have, you know, when you're walking your team member through this as a manager, you're walking yourself through this and maybe bringing in a teammate for support, or you're taking this to your manager and saying, hey, I wanna, I want to get better. You know, that here's how you can support me. I'd like to go through this with you. Um, then you start to practice and you probably start to do it in real life. Like there's no, there's no hack really for no, there's not really. There's just there's no hack for, you know, personal growth and professional development. Um with the Enneagram, it's just, you know, you're gaining some insight, you're expanding your vocabulary, getting some new ideas and insight about yourself and others. But but to really have change and meaningful change, you need to practice. And practice can feel uncomfortable, um, it can feel boring, tedious, but but that's where the growth happens. So I really like this, these questions and these uh these prompts to help us get there. So those are the some things with our type two. And then um we have talked about strengths. So making sure that you're you're acknowledging the strengths of it too in those feedback sessions, and those are some specific things to look for, what it looks like when strengths are overused. And I said that we would talk about that makes sense. And sometimes when those strengths are overused, it can feel like a negative, it can feel like a weakness, it can feel like, or when we're talking about opportunities for growth around self-control or self-awareness or self-confidence, it can feel like, gosh, I, you know, wow, I suck. I'm terrible. Um, but really it's I I really like this term, this phrase, well, that makes sense. Because for somebody who is, who has a tendency to focus on others, somebody who has a strength of helping others, they when they thrive, when they help others thrive, uh, somebody who has a strength of being incredibly empathetic and understanding of others, like it then makes sense why you might struggle in some of those other areas around self-awareness, you know, self-confidence, self-control. It makes sense because you are so emotionally charged because you care so deeply about other people. That makes sense. So it we're it's we're not using it as an excuse, but sometimes it can take that initial sting out because it's like, well, of course, of course, this would be a potential challenge uh because you're you're so great over here and you do all these other things that come natural to you. Of course, this might you know be a challenge over here. Um you're not alone. Other people who focus on this have this viewpoint of a type two, striving to feel connected, um, also have tendencies to struggle in these areas. So you're not alone. That makes sense. Um, and then lastly, we well, and then we talked about, oh, so we talked about overuse strengths. Then we looked at, okay, what are some specific ideas for development? What are some specific growth paths for our type two using their connected arrows, those resource points of the type four, of the type eight. And then we overlaid some key emotional competencies over those three types two, four, eight. And then so that's kind of the what, what to say, maybe, what what feedback to give, what conversation to start. Now, I'm gonna give you a couple of uh just a handful of how to deliver this feedback maybe. Um, I will say that uh there are some types that just they they don't want they just want you to give it to them straight. Don't they don't need a preface, they don't really need a big backstory, they don't need a big lean-in, they don't need the sandwich method. Just just give it to them great. Just just just say it directly, concisely. Whereas, you know, a type two might be one, not all. Some might hate the sandwich method, but there there may be some tendencies with our twos to prefer kind of that kind of like softer lead in. Let's let's connect first before we just jump into the feedback. Let's how's your day? How have things been going? How's your family? What's going on at home? Anything exciting? How was the that last work trip? And and and build, you know, have some some time to connect and build that rapport rather than just jumping right into it. Others might prefer that. A type two has a tendency to prefer some relationship building before we get into the work conversation. And so you're gonna have some, you know, hi, how are you? How things are going. Um, and as a manager, you may hate that. That that that may not be your style at all, but knowing, hey, you know, my my team member really prefers that. They they want to connect, they want to feel connected to me, they they want to feel listened to and connected to. So let's, you know, even if you had if to add an extra 15 minutes to your meeting time, do that so you can build in some of that rapport building for the type two. Um, they want to know that their efforts are valued and that they are making a difference on the team. They they want to be a valuable part of the team. They want to be, they want to be invaluable. Um, they want to be known and needed. They want to feel like a needed, important part of the team. So as you're sharing that feedback, um, both the the their strengths and opportunities for growth, you know, making sure that though those themes of being valued and being an important contributor is highlighted. Um, they're gonna appreciate supportive feedback, feedback that is encouraging, um, appreciative. Hey, you know, really highlighting the things that you see them do, the time that they're giving, the effort that they're making, this, the specific projects and people that they're helping with, letting them know how important that is and how much you appreciate that. And then um any feedback that is tied to how it will help and benefit the team is also appreciated by our type two. So we've talked about the what, these are some ideas for the how. And this would be a great starting point. I've said in all of these, you know, um, that these are tendencies of a two in theory, right? Based on the textbook, some of these based on what I hear from other people. Um, but the person on your team that identifies as a two is a unique human being. And so they may not resonate with any of these, they may hate all of these feedback ideas for the delivery of the feedback. So, you know, you just open it up, get curious. Hey, I heard um on a podcast today, or I was reading about how a type two prefers to give feedback, and some of the things they said were, you know, XYZ. Uh, what what's true for you? What would you say your preferences are? What would you disagree with? What would you add to this? Um, and use it as a starting point for the the delivery. And and this is a conversation that I think can, when possible, be a great conversation when somebody gets hired, when they join the team. Hey, how do you prefer to be given feedback? So that when you do sit down for the feedback session, you already kind of have your delivery for how um nailed. And and more and more and more, um, you are hearing about, we are hearing about um how kind of the the annual, very formal sit-down appraisal is kind of going out of style and and and it is becoming really not that effective and not that helpful or productive. We're spending all this time doing the paperwork, preparing for it, and it ends up not being that um helpful. Whereas, you know, smaller, uh I don't want to say smaller, shorter, more frequent, there we go, more frequent check-ins tend to be what's becoming the the uh more effective, more productive. Um, so whether, you know, I don't know, is it weekly, is it monthly, is it quarterly, is it, is it even just buy annually? Um, you're getting an extra check-in each year. Um, you know, that can be helpful. And so when you know, hey, my my type two teammate prefers this, and you know, I saw something rather than wait for the end of the year, I'm gonna, I want to share some feedback and knowing how they prefer their delivery of that feedback, um, you know, I I I can go ahead and do that rather than, hey, how I have some feedback. How do you prefer to be given feedback? And their feedback style, of course, may change, but you know, at least you have an idea. Um, and I I will say common things that I I see most consistently for a two is they want some sort of connection, some rapport building before diving into that conversation. So that might be a great place to start getting curious with your your own type two, uh, the type twos on your team. Well, we have covered uh, let's see, up until six, seven, eight, nine, one, two today. We got three, four, five left coming up in future episodes when it comes to using the Enneagram with feedback and performance reviews. Um, this is a topic that can be weaved into uh general Enneagram introduction trainings. It can be a whole training on itself. We will sometimes weave in an introduction to these concepts in our half day or full-day trainings. Uh, we'll sometimes focus uh a huge part of the training with our leadership uh development trainings using the Enneagram. Uh so there's all different ways and different amounts of time that we can spend on the topic of feedback and using it in growth and development. Um so if that is something you're interested in bringing to your team or leadership team, as I mentioned earlier, a great place to start is over on our website at Enneagramba.com. And uh yeah, start to see if this is something that might be a good fit. Our style might be a good fit with your team. Um, and we can start planning some specific content and topic ideas uh for your group. So with that, I appreciate you being here as always, and uh I look forward to seeing you in the next one.