SPEAKER_01 0:03

You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Well, welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am here with another special guest. Um, we haven't had a lot of guests for a while, and then we've been kind of on this um track with having several. So it makes it really fun. And I'm excited to introduce Demetrius Parker. Some will know him as D. And Demetrius is going to be sharing what life is like as a transmitting three. We'll get into what all that means. But um, Demetrius is a fellow Enneagram coach. I've gotten to know him through um some Enneagram trainings. He is also um certified in in DISC and other um assessments that I'm sure you've heard of. And he is the founder of his own um leadership development group called Trust Leadership Collective. So with that, Dee, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Oh, thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. I'm excited about being here.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Before we hit record, Dee and I were talking about how this is kind of a kind of a new um angle with with talking about the Enneagram. Um, as listeners know, we practice a an awareness to action approach here at Enneagram MBA. And part of that are is um the way that we talk about the instinctual biases, the subtypes. And so we'll be really focusing on the transmitting um energy today and what that means for uh D and kind of how that shows up in real life. But um, before we get into it, I would just love to hear from you kind of the work that you're doing right now with the Enneagram, with your leadership coaching and some of the others. Um, and maybe we'll start to even notice then how some of that transmitting energy shows up.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

So, what I would share is, you know, in my work, the way I do the work, uh, leadership, first of all, is is really the main focus that we do. And our mission is to help people be the best that they can be. Um, and so with that, I kind of step into space really leaning into self-awareness. Like, how do we, who are we? How do we show up? And so with that, the Innie ground has been really important and a great tool to be able to help folks with that, to understand, like, hey, what choices have I made in life and and what am I doing, and how how am I navigating life and what does that look like? Um, I do believe that as people, we are like onions in a way, with you know, so many different layers and trying to understand those layers, which is if anyone's thinking, why not just the Enneagram? And for me, it's all these different tools, and I do like to look at them as tools, all these different tools helped us to really dive in to our fingerprint, right? You think about we all have fingerprints, but all those fingerprints are so different. And so for me, I like to like think about it in that way. And so each for me, each one of these gives a different or sometimes an affirmation. Sometimes the information is not so different, sometimes it's just really another affirmation of ooh, and there's that thing. And that and and look how that, and to me, when you start to see certain aspects of who we are show up with these different assessments, it really lets us know how ingrained those things are in our lives. Because for some of us, it is an affirmation and for some of us, it's actually, oh, and then there's this other different thing which colors why we may not look exactly like someone else that maybe share um the same way that we you know navigate or transmit or preserve, right? So anyway, that's that's that's kind of ideal.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

With a lot of companies um that I'll I'll share the Enneagram with, they have done other things like Disc or Myers Briggs. And so to your point, it is just um, it's like a prism. It's just like another, like, oh, this is this is this other thing, or it just like validates some of the other things that other assessments and tools have shared. So I I love bringing it all, bringing it all into the mix. Okay, so before we get into the instinctual biases, I did want to touch on that you are, I mentioned earlier, um, identify most as an Enneagram type three, striving to feel outstanding. How did you come to that realization? What about the type three? Were you like, oh, this is me? And was there any like battle with any other type?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Uh well, it's funny you say that because actually uh I'm gonna start backwards and I'm gonna say yes, there was a battle with other types. And the reason why, I guess for me, my story, the reason why there was a battle is because when I first got introduced to the Enneagram, um, I got introduced to the Enneagram in in the way of someone they told me what my style what my style was, right? So they told me, hey, here's here's here's how you show up. And um, at that time I was doing some of the other assessments, and I was also really big into um astrology. And so they felt that I was a really good candidate for this tool called the Enneagram. And they introduced it to me and they were like, hey, here's this book, and you know, you should read it. I think you would really like this tool. And by the way, you're a nine.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

And so I was like, Oh, they told me, you know, all the things about the nine, but they were like, read it, but you know, nine, you know, they want to be peaceful, and they and so I read the nine. And if anyone knows the traditional way of, you know, when you're reading the nine, you know, the nine when they're you know, using the the traditional terms of healthy, uh you know, when but they're striving and they want to be in that three space, right? And so I was like, oh, so in my mind, I was a very healthy nine because I, you know, I loved getting things done, and I wasn't in that sloth space that typical nines can be in, and you know, when they're not in in a great space, and so that's where I was I was like, all right, there we are. I'm I'm a nine, I'm a really healthy nine. And and and so I I did that, but if you know the three, I can't I can't settle with just uh knowing this. So then I did open the book and read all the types, and then the nine just did not make a lot of sense for me, right? It was and the one and for me, if you think about the old way of of doing the integral, which was hey, read read, read all the types and which one which one punches you in the gut. Which one makes your your your your gut kind of tighten up when you uh when you think about it? And um well, which one just brings you on makes you uncomfortable? That's actually the way I think I would look at it. And the one that made me uncomfortable every time was the three. Like I resonated with it, but I didn't want to own it.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Right?

SPEAKER_00 8:01

I didn't want to own and the part of what I didn't want to own was the fact that I cared about what people thought about me. Because all my life that that would be something that I would always say that I didn't care about, right? You know, and you know that Shakespeare, that Shakespeare adage of you know, thou thou protest too much. That that was me, because I would always say, I don't care, I don't care what people think. Um but I really I really do. I was about to say I really did. And and honestly, if I'm being honest, I I will say I still care what people think. I don't put as much weight on it anymore, you know. Um but I still care about that. I still you know come into a space and and I think about okay, how am I affecting a space and how am I showing up? And how are people how are people experiencing me? And so that's always there for me. It's always, you know, did I did I give them the experience? Did I give them the experience that I wanted them to have? And and in some ways that's healthy because I can step back afterwards and and say, okay, you know what, as I'm reevaluating that situation, I did not show up as my best self. And here's where I could have been different. Um but what I don't do anymore is I don't let that weigh on me a lot, right? Like I I I engage with it, I acknowledge it. Um it's it's kind of like the military. Um, our model, um, our model in the military, the army was um overcome, adapt, and move forward.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

How very three. How very three of you. Let me ask you this. Um because I think what um just me personally, one of the biggest challenges in my groups people have is deciphering am I a three or am I a one? Because ones will say, I really care about what people think too. I I want to be perfect, I want to be excellent. I, you know, I want people to think I did a good job. How how does that show up? Like, how do you see that being different in your experience?

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Yeah, no, and honestly, we have a lot in common. Um, and there are times that I have wondered about the one space. Um, but here's where I would tell you even with threes, because a lot of people think threes are again in that space that we always want to be the best. And what I would say the difference is for me operating in the three space is that I don't necessarily need the perfection. I I don't. Um especially as a and I know we're gonna talk about this, especially as a transmating three, like I don't have time for that. Um I just don't. Um, and I have I have a mother-in-law who is a one, and we we bump, we bump heads a lot, a lot, um, because she comes into situations with that very black and white mindset and a lot of the shoulds. Ones do a lot of shoulding, right? Um, and I I don't do the shoulds. I look at it and I go, oh, you know, I could have, I do coulds. I could have been better there. Uh I could have shown up this way. So I I use feel threes, I feel we use could versus should, right? And so if you think about those two words, that's how I feel. I feel like the ones come in with the shoulds and the should's, and the ones comes in. We could, I mean the threes come in with the coulds and the could'ves. Like we're like, yeah, I could have done that. I guess I'll I'll try it next time right now.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Yeah, and you're right, there's so many overlaps there, but it is kind of that like, well, we can cut some corners for the sake of maybe moving a little faster or just you know, getting it done. So um, that's helpful. Thank you for that. Okay, so let's talk about this um instinctual bias to piece of the Enneagram. We have talked before, we have our navigators, we have our preservers, and we have our transmitters. And um, transmitters are focused, tend to be focused on this idea of attracting and bonding. And the awareness to action goes on to say that they'll kind of define this as like this is kind of this energy of wanting to pass on something, what you know, genes, beliefs, values, interests, your worldviews to others in order for them to be able to carry that information into the future or out into the world. Um, transmitting leaders tend to be charismatic and bold, uh, really good at articulating a goal or a vision, moving and inspiring others towards it, um, kind of intuitively understanding maybe the market, the customer, being persuasive as they sell products, the company, a dream, a vision to the internal team. Um, good at building relationships with customers and partners. Um, it can be a little competitive there, good at maybe the startup phase of a business or uh maybe starting a department within a business. Or I know you recently uh founded your own business, Dee. We'll talk about that. Um, and and sometimes they may struggle with focusing too much attention on themselves, accomplishing what they're accomplishing, what they want to um achieve, and may neglect the career development of maybe the team members they're leading. Um, and and then sometimes they may be guilty of putting their self-focus onto their own interests before a company. Now, there's to your to your point earlier, there's kind of different levels of how aware someone is. So whether, you know, transmitters do all of these, I don't, I don't think is the case at all. But but that kind of gives us a refresher, um, a recap of of what that transmitting energy is like. What about the transmitting? Uh do you see in in your own life, the work that you do? What kind of led you to think, okay, this this might be this might be where I am over here?

SPEAKER_00 14:52

So remember, I was telling you that, you know, with the styles, um, there were some questions, right? Even sometimes, and I didn't talk about this one, but even sometimes questioning if I'm even in the seven space. Um but you know what never is a question? It's which instinctual bias.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

There's no question. Because all the things that you named, all the things, I will say yes and like all the things. Um and and and in my growth, um, and my growth journey, which you know is a continuous journey, I will say I've been in all those spaces where I find myself sometimes asking, am I making this about me? Or am I really thinking about the team? But one thing, like to your point, you know, you talk about even in companies, like I always looked at myself as an entrepreneur. Right. Um, and if anyone listening is like, what the heck is an entrepreneur? Um, an entrepreneur is is that person that even when I worked in companies, I operated as though it was my company, right? So I made choices that were going to help the company from my perspective, right? That were going to help the company move forward, that we're gonna help people move forward. So I always think about that, even when I was in the military, so the military in the army, the army's motto was mission first, people always. But as a leader, personally, I switched that around and I said, no, people first, mission always. And the reason why is because for me, my mindset was if I take care of the people, they will take care of the mission. And so that's that's the way I lead. And that's I think one of the things that can keep me grounded to not get too caught up in self. Um one of my personal models is dream big, live large, stay humble and kind. And and um that's important for me because again, it makes me right, it's what I aspire to do. I I won't say I'm always there, so that's like my aspiration. Is you know, the dream big, I think I'm always there. I'm always thinking crazy ideas. The live large, and I'm for the most part doing that out there making it happen. You know, to stay humble can be a challenge for a transmitting three.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

So yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, you got the transmitting and the three.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

You know, because I mean, honestly, even taking on this interview and being here right now, right? It's like, okay, all right, I get to talk about me.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

I get it, I get it, yeah. Well, and listeners can't cannot see. We may show some clips on YouTube, but um, every single time I've seen you, I think you've been wearing a suit. Like you're just and then you always you always have this hat, and you're just it's so put together. It's like you came out of like a catalog every time. So, and that's that's one of the things. And it's interesting because um I think that's maybe like that that textbook three sometimes is like, oh, I imagine that, but it's also very transmitting. They will say, like, one of the things to consider is this kind of dress to impress.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Oh, yeah. Well, because it it's it helps you to transmit. It it helps to you know pretty much, you know, broadcast. And so you walk into a room and your folks are gonna notice, right? And then, and you I'm sure we'll probably get to this, but then I can narrow cast, right? Once I know I'm like, oh, look, I got all. And now where do I want to shoot my focus?

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Um, and so yeah, let's talk about that because that was one of um that's kind of just one of the seems like a small clarification point, but um, I really like the way the awareness to action talks about that narrow casting and then or broadcasting and then narrow casting. And sometimes I think maybe that's where that one-to-one, sometimes we'll call it uh this subtype like sexual or like one-to-one if we if we can't say those words. Um and it and it's like, well, that's not entirely the whole story. What would you add anything or what would you add to that?

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Yeah, no, I so what I think what happens to your point, we're we're trying to we're trying to get people to walk away with whatever it is that we're trying to share with them, right? Um, in whatever way that is. And so it it it feels like so folks will always say, you know, you you make me feel like in the moment, you make me feel like I'm the only one in the room. Um, you know, once we get to that point, right? Once we've narrowcasted. And at the same time, you know, I know folks will also say that sometimes they like, sometimes I feel like you, you know, you want to give your attention to everyone else but Mickey, right? Depending on what that what that looks like. And so, you know, what I would say is, you know, we are because once we feel that you are you're connected that we're connected, right? We want to give you the thing. And so I have a lot of folks in my life, and I know we'll probably get to this, but I have a lot of folks in my life that are navigators. Um, and they would talk about their struggle that people don't ask the questions and people don't want to know about them. And people are so apt to just talk about themselves and they're like, or and so then they don't know how to be in the conversation. And I always I snicker because I'm like, I have no problems being in the conversation, and I have no problems with getting whatever message I want into the conversation because if I need to, I will definitely introduce it. I I will find a way to introduce that thing. Um, and I know that can be annoying for some folks. Um, and and again, now that I'm aware of that, I can also pull it back when I need to. Matter of fact, I'm on a journey now. And as you know, in in the awareness to action space, we uh we use the peacock as a we use the peacock as a way to to talk about transmitters, right? And what that looks like, and just the whole dance that the peacock does. To you know to be able to do their thing. And you know, I'm on a journey right now to definitely still embrace my peacock, but also I'm looking at things now in a way to say, yeah, that's important, but how can I how can I be more of an eagle? Using birds, right? And how can I be more of an eagle and and kind of be there in a tree and be perched and just look at things, right? And um, as a three, as a transmitting, as a person that operates and as a transmitting three, I look at myself a lot of times as a human doing versus a human being. Right? I'm always doing. And if you ask me any question about anything relational or anything like that, my thing is, well, what can I do? What can I do for you? How can I, you know, and so I'm I'm really practicing on being in that human see it, it's even hard for me to say it.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Yeah, it's like choking on the word.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Yeah, but yeah, really being in that space of being and and being more like the eagle and surveying and then coming in when I need to come in and not feeling like I have to always be in that space. Um and I and I'm working with a with a coach and she used a really great analogy, a metaphor, I would say, for me. She's like, Demetrius, you remind me of the ringmaster. And I was like, Wow, like why? And when she shared with me, and it really resonated was she's like, you know, even though the ringmaster is a part of the show, everyone is always still have their eyes on the ringmaster, no matter what part of the show is going on. And there's an expectation that the ringmaster is going to perform and be ready. Like the ringmaster always has to be ready because if something goes wrong, it's the ringmaster's job to then step in and keep things continuous. And so I was like, wow, it was it was really, really mind blowing to hear that metaphor used because I do feel as as a transmitting three, that is a thing. And to the point where even sometimes people start to kind of look at us as that we want to always be on. You know, um there's some folks in my life that we've had these discussions and they go, Oh, you don't mind, you don't mind. And it's like, no, actually sometimes I I do. Like sometimes I I just want to just sometimes just be there. And at the same time, we I've built, and I feel like maybe some other transmediate things have built this space where people automatically assume that this is how we will show up and that we want to show up that way all the time.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Yeah, but maybe you're saying you kind of feel like that's my that's what people expect.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Yeah, exactly. It's become an expectation, and then don't don't get me wrong. Like there is, I would say if I if I use my 80-20 rule, I will say 80% of the time they are right, but there is there is that 20 where I'm like, no, I just I don't necessarily want that attention, I don't necessarily want that responsibility. Um, I want other folks to have that that spotlight. Um and at the same time, I will say it is probably also easy to transition out of that space.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Well, and that might be um a good segue into your relationship with the preserving energy, because for those listeners um who aren't maybe as familiar, we have what is called kind of the way that we express each of these. And we express each each of these three, um, but in different ways. And we have different relationships with them. And the first level is what we're talking about today, where Demetrius has this zone, his zone of enthusiasm, enthusiasm is that I I I can't say this word sometimes when I'm when the pressure's on, um, is uh the this transmitting energy. This is kind of where um you kind of you value, you tend to value this the most. It tends to come natural. It's kind of like this is like the water that you swim in. You may not even realize like this is your dominant or your zone of enthusiasm because you you just do it so naturally. Exactly. It comes easy. Yes, it comes easy. So then the next one is this zone of conflict where um you might do these behaviors more than you realize. And it's kind of like you're constantly like kind of pushing and pulling, like, oh, I should do more, I should do less. Um, you might feel a little uncomfortable or insecure. Maybe you don't you worry you don't do it as well, but it can also provide support for how you end up using your zone of enthusiasm. So in this way, in this case, transmitting. So talk to me a little bit, maybe about the the the helpful ways, but maybe also, you know, how you're in conflict with that idea of preserving, where it's kind of the nuts and the bolts, the nesting and the nurturing, almost the opposite of transmitting.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Oh, yeah. Yeah, no. Um, again, actually it's as I think about it, it kind of goes back to what I was just talking about earlier with the peacock and the eagle.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

I was thinking that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Yeah. Um, you know, when I can go back to that space, you know, where really works for me is I'm able to be more intentional with my connections um and with getting what I want out. Like when I when I can step into that space, it's kind of like I get to recharge in a way. I get to recharge, I get to literally put my words into action. So, you know, you think about the work that I do, a lot of times I'm facilitating a lot of workshops. And when I'm transmitting, it's me talking about all the thoughts and ideas that I have. And I can, you know, influence people to be like, oh my God, that is awesome. But it's hard for me to actually build those workshops out when I'm in that transmitting space, right? I have to then pull back, be in that more preserving space to then sit down and go, all right, now I need to put this together and I need to put words to action. Um, almost the words to paper or, you know, PowerPoint or Google Slides, whatever it is that you're using, or I'm using in that moment. Um, I have to then do that. And so that's where it really serves me well. Um, I can say where it may not really work for me is um at times where if I need it too much, then people think it's almost like a jack-o on a mive. They're like, whoa, you were here a few minutes ago, and now it's like you're just pulled back. And um, if anyone knows uh Harry Potter, what an accident, I just thought it together. What are the what are the the what are the characters that kind of suck like the soul out of the I I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

I did not get on the Harry Potter train.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

I know like that there's what is wrong with you now.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Uh I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Now I can't and then it's funny because now I can't think of the term, but um it's like they say when I shut down, it's a hard shutdown. Like it's it's almost palatable, right? For people to like they're like, oh, what what just happened? And right, and I'm like, nope, um it's me time.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Um yeah, you need to almost um preserve so that you can because it's impossible to transmit all the time.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Exactly, exactly. Right, and sometimes, yeah, and so and there's even been times where I've tried to be intentional with that, where I'm like, okay, I'm going in this meeting and I'm not saying anything. I'm just gonna sit back and let everyone else have the space, and afterwards people will come up to me and it's like, are you okay?

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Why why? Well, you didn't you didn't say anything in the meeting. I'm like, Yeah, no, that was that was intentional. Like, there's nothing wrong. I just wanted other people to have the space, and you know, I've had people say, Please don't do that again.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

So I think that was I think that's a yeah, I think that's a good example of um just because you know that doesn't come natural to you or any of these don't come natural to us for different reasons, is like it doesn't mean you can't do it. It's just to your point, being intentional while you're doing it. And what's interesting that they'll talk about how like you will you will do the others, the other two for kind of the sake of that top one for you. So it's like you're preserving, saving your energy, resting, recharging so that later you can go out and transmit more. Um, not necessarily for the sake of preserving. No, no. What about what about navigating? So for for transmitters, there's tends to be a specific order. And I know you have thoughts on that. If you want to chime in, please do. But typically they'll say, okay, if you're transmitting the the next one here is going to be preserving that that zone of conflict. And then the next one um is gonna be maybe that zone of indifference where it's kind of like take it or leave it. Um, I don't really have a lot of interest. Um, maybe you don't talk about it a lot, maybe don't pay attention to it. Um, and you kind of decide if if you need to use it or not. And for the transmitting expression, that's the navigator. That's the navigating energy. And so navigators tend to be really focused on group dynamics, um, looking at power and influence dynamics, trust um, and reciprocity dynamics status and identity, which also has a little bit of three energy. So I could I could see that kind of supporting the three, but talk to me a little bit about how, like, what's your relationship as a transmitter with that navigating energy?

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Oh that's a hard one. Um, yeah, that's a and it's interesting because I have so many navigators in my life. So it's one of those things where, you know, like if you're spiritual, we say, you know, these folks have been brought into my life to help me grow. To help me grow in that space because it is not necessarily a natural space for me. Um, I literally just posted something recently that was like a you know, the Socrates meme, and it said, weak minds talk about people, strong minds talk about ideas. And uh I got called out by my navigating peeps who were like, Oh, that's a very trans meaning thing to say. Um and some of them took offense to that. Like, so what do you mean by that? I talk about people, and I'm like, Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Um these are the conversations you have with the people in your life when you get like steeped in the Enneagram, like it becomes yeah, everything is good.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

It becomes a thing. Um and you know, and that that could be good or bad, right? Because not you, you know, you don't have to bring everything into that space. And at the same time, I get where they were coming from. And I was like, look, for me, we all talk about people, right? That's a part of just who we are as as human beings. For me, the question is how much of your time do you spend doing that? Like if that's and I love putting anything for me in life, everything is about the 80-20 rule. And so for me, if you're spending 80% of your time doing that, then that's a problem. Um, and I feel no offense, navigating folks, but I feel navigators spend a lot of their time talking about other people, and a lot of it, and the reason why, I mean, I know that there's good reason from their perspective is because that's how you understand the track. That's how you understand the roles, that's how you understand the power dynamics, that's how you understand the politics. And for me, it's this this space that I when I come in, I'm like, look, I'm gonna do what I do. You're gonna like it or you're not gonna like it. Um and and I think that's probably the part why that was such a struggle for me as a three, because as a three, when you're using that as a as a way to navigate the world and that mindset of I am worried about what people are thinking, it's almost you know, uh hypocritical or right, where you're just like, hold on, you're here and you're thinking about it, but at the same time, you still just you're still just sharing and you're still just out there. And like I said, when navigators struggle with they want folks to ask them, you know, B, ask me what, ask me about my day, ask me about my history, ask me about that thing. And you know, as a transmitter, I mean, I'll ask you, and I will I'll meet you there, I'll meet you in that. I'll say, Hey, how are you doing? And it's really a setup for me to then share. You know, it's like, hey, what do you think about this thing? And you're like, Oh my god, thank you for asking. Oh, not a problem. Well, here's what I think about it.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Yeah, again, it's like navigating for the sake of transmitting.

SPEAKER_00 36:35

No, it is, right? It's like I I want to know what you think so that I can share with you what I think. Um, and so so yeah, and it's hard for me. And and again, it's it's been great having so many navigators in my life because they do help me to truly exercise that that eagle that I want to be in to sit back and truly listen to what it is that they have and take that in to see how I can apply whatever it is that I may want to share. How can I truly effectively apply that? And that's one of the things that I for me um that I always want to do is really say that I want to be effective and efficient. And so, in order for me to do those two things, I do have to tamper back my transmitting and meet folks where they are, whether it's um navigating or you know, whatever that may look like, meeting them where they are is really going to help me truly be effective and efficient. And so in that long-winded way, hopefully that answers your question.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Yeah, no, that makes sense. That makes sense. Um, because it's like in order to pass on those ideas or to inspire, there is like, well, if I'm just constantly talking at people, you know, how do I know that that message I need to kind of create that connection and meet people where they are and talk about it in a way with where they're at? Um before we start to wrap it up, I want to I'm just and I know you know this, but just kind of for listeners' benefit. And then I want you to add on to anything else you might have with this. But um, you know, as as we have talked about these and as we've talked about the the types and the or the the instinctual biases in the past, you start to see how there could be three type threes in a room, but look very different. And so we have our preservers, our preserving threes who are going to probably be more of those like type one lookalikes that are a little bit more task-oriented, a little bit more like check the box. We have our uh, what did we just talk about in the navigating threes, who are probably the most image conscious because they have that kind of like group insight and you know how how is this playing out? Yeah, political awareness. Thank you. So it's like, how do I fit in here? Who do I need to be? And then we have this transmitting three. Um, that's you know, can almost um, and I'd be curious your thoughts on this. Sometimes they'll say this transmitting three can almost look like an eight, like tend to be like very forward energy, uh assertive.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Very assertive, very direct. Um, and so that can be definitely a challenge for for folks. And it's something I always have to be aware of. Again, that when I come into a space, you know, uh, I think some people have used the term, yeah, you you come in kind of hot, D. You come in kind of hot.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

Well, um, you know, so let's see here. I had outstanding transmitting as far as leadership styles go, their work challenge um can be reigning in their ambition, um, their leadership style is that they do have this deep desire to inspire, to leave an impact, that that legacy of of the transmitting, but also that being outstanding, but it can sometimes fall into being a little bit more me focused than than we focused. Um and to your point, it's like how intense that is, I think is just how because we all have our own stuff, and how intense it is is just kind of how intentional and and aware we're being. Anything you would add to how you've seen that show up specifically in your work or just even kind of with how you're launching your own, you know, running your own business, navigating some of these other things that go along with that as well.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Oh, yeah. No, I I would say honestly, you that description is pretty spot on. Um just really having to be intentional and we do, we want to inspire. Like I said, my my life, my life work is to help people be the best that they can be. And so I want to inspire that. And at the same time, as I'm doing that for myself and learning and reading and going to workshops and all those things, right? There's so much information that I want to impart on others. Um, and so I have to also be aware and ask myself in those moments, am I doing this for me or am I doing this for them? Um, and so I think that's really important when operating, that I keep those things in mind so that it can be authentic and it's not just uh, oh yeah, there he is again selling his selling his wares.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Um well, and uh I have a question because um what I hear sometimes is that can that can like you're very self-aware, but but for those of us who maybe aren't, um, that can cause a lot of frustration and friction among other types because it is like, oh my gosh, they're so self-serving. They're always talking about themselves. Um for our navigators and preservers, is there anything that they should keep in mind or know maybe about the intentions to help to help us better understand transmitters and and and maybe not get so frustrated with them?

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Yes, yes. So I I guess you know, when you when you're doing this work, when you're studying this this tool and embracing this tool, yeah, to keep in mind that first of all, you know, each of us are different. And so understand that. Um and then the other piece to that is to truly understand and take into consideration that we do really care. And it and our intentions are really about the greater good and what is that gonna look like and how we can get folks to be our best selves. Like that's what we're that's what we're striving to do. So it's not even just for ourselves, we're trying to help others be in that same space. And so what happens is we just get so excited when we actually get the opportunity to share that sometimes we forget that there are other people there and that we need to again be intentional and give others that space. And so it's okay actually if you even call it out and say, wow, that sounds great. Can I share what I am? Oh, because that's a that's a great space for us to go, oh snap. Oh snap. Yeah, please people please please do. That means I've gone I've gone over, right? I've overstepped. And so, and it's okay, like we won't we won't take offense to that. Um, again, if done that way versus And I've literally had people sometimes just walk away. I've seen folks like, you know, in a group, it was like, oh, okay, I'm I'm gonna leave.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Uh this is a lot. This is a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

This is a lot. I actually so just really quickly I'll share this with you, and then we're gonna wrap up um this quick story where uh I was working in this organization, I've been here for about three months, and I consider myself a walk-around leader. So every morning I would come in and you know, walk by the receptionist desk and good morning, how was your weekend or evening, whatever it is, you know. And then I walked to my office, I would set my bag down. And before I turned on my computer, as if I didn't have any meetings, before I did any of that, I would walk around the entire office and go to everyone and give them a fitz bump or a high five and and ask, you know, how are things going? Um and about the third month that I'm there, you know, I started to notice that some people would hear me coming down the hall and they would just yell out there out of the office. They're like, Morning, D. And and I knew that was like, oh, they're telling me, don't stop here, just keep it going. We said good morning, we did the greeting, right? And then my around that same time, my supervisor, her office was right next door to mine. And uh one morning I was like, Morning, how's it going? And she was like, Morning, D. And she goes, Hey, can I can I talk to you for a second? I'm like, sure. She goes, Hey, I love your energy, I love your enthusiasm. Like, just like what you're bringing to the table is fantastic. She goes, but I need you to know this. I don't get to your level until about 10 o'clock and about three cups of coffee.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

She goes, That is awesome. That is awesome. I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

So she likes if I'm not meeting you where you feel I should like if you're looking for more from me, you're not gonna get that at eight o'clock in the morning. It's not gonna happen. So I just want you to know that. She goes, but but I appreciate what you're bringing. It's just I'm I can't meet you. I can't even get close to where you are until about 10 or so.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Hey, just clear communication. This is where I'm at. That's what I appreciate. Yes, yes. Okay, so the rest of navigators, preservers, just yeah, let them know. Let them know when it's when they need to turn it, dial it back a bit. Now, the thing I want to end on though is that um, yeah, so we've talked about, yes, we can all frustrate others for different reasons, transmitters just to to this exact example, you know, if you're not there at that early in the morning or or just maybe you're never there. Um, that could be a lot. However, I also think that that transmitting energy can really um help the transmitters, but also inspire big things in others. They say sometimes um the transmitters will bring the sizzle and they'll they'll promote themselves, they'll throw out big ideas, um, possibilities. And there are some of us who think, well, my work should speak for itself. Um, you know, maybe the preserver or navigator might think, oh, somebody will see, see what I'm doing. I don't want to be too self-promotional, for example. Um or oh, well, you know, that idea is not practical, you know, let's, but the transmitter can bring a lot of good, you know, put a little transmitter sauce on some of that. And, you know, who knows what might happen. So let me ask you, what what benefits do you see of tapping in, regardless of what instinctual bias you you identify with? What do you see as being a strength we can all kind of tap into of the transmitter?

SPEAKER_00 47:56

Yeah, I I I will address that with this and say, you don't know if you don't ask. Right? You don't know if you don't ask. And you know, and so that's what I would probably share, especially with those who feel you know, my work should speak for itself. It may, but you gotta remember in organizations, there's a lot of folks in those organizations, and there's a lot of folks that are doing good things. Um and sometimes you first of all, we're always selling. So I I you know, I came from a sales background before I got into O D and HR. And one of the things that we learn is ask for the sale. And so I can sit there and I can tell you, you know, I can give you the brochure, I can let you test the product and all those things, but you still may not buy it if I don't say. So you got a deal. I don't if I don't ask that question, I may walk out your door without the sale. But if I ask that question, you're gonna go, you know what? Yeah, yeah, the product's great. I I love it. Why wouldn't I want to buy it? But sometimes folks need to hear that question and they need to know that you actually want it. That's the other piece. Like they need to know that you want it. And if they don't know, then they're like, uh, you know what, I I can wait till later.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Yeah.

unknown 49:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

And later may not come out. So that's what I'll share for that.

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Oh, what a great. I think, yeah, I think we can all that's a great reminder and uh something Graves, great to kind of strive towards towards and in different areas, whether we're selling our career, a new idea, a promotion, a product. It's like how can we ask for it? And you don't know unless you ask. Um, and channel that transmitting sizzle. Um, so with that, I so appreciate you. Um, where can people learn a little bit more about you? Whether it's bringing in um different types of workshops, anything that you have going on that you want us to know about, connecting with you on social media, where's the best place to connect with you and say hi?

SPEAKER_00 50:10

By the way, I I I I still have not worked out a deal with them yet. So I'm I don't get paid from them, but I talk about them a lot, which is LinkedIn. Oh find me on LinkedIn, uh Demetrius Parker. Um, yeah, that's where you can find me. I don't know. And and get to know more about me and what it is that I like to do. And believe me, send me a frame request, I would accept it.

SPEAKER_01 50:36

Um, we'll accept it. Yes, yes. Yeah. Well, and please do, regardless of of what what what uh type you identify with, let connect with them, let them know what you're taking away from this episode. I always appreciate people who are willing to open up about their personality, one of their most personal things about them, um, and share what resonates and how all of this Enneagram theory ends up showing up in real life. And and I think when we hear that, we can start to see ourselves in others and start to understand other people better. So um, Dee, I appreciate you being here. And uh we'll uh I guess see you over on LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_00 51:16

Yeah, well, I I appreciate the invite and pretty thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

I appreciate it. Thank you, Dee.