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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host. Welcome if you are just joining us for the first time. Either way, we have recently started a new series around how each type can get off track at work. Last week we started the series looking at our type 1 derailers. This week we're going to be looking at our type 2 derailers. These might also be potential blind spots. You could also think of them as that. And this is a concept that comes from the model that we use, the awareness to action Enneagram model. They have a list of common derailers for each of the types. And it makes sense based on what that kind of internal operating system, that internal logic that influences our thinking, that influences our behavior. It makes sense why certain types might struggle with certain derailers more than others. Now, we can probably all see ourselves in some of these at one point or the other. It doesn't mean that these are just only type twos today will struggle with these. We can all probably uh relate to at least one of these anyway. So I hope that as we go through these, through this series, moving through three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, though in the following weeks, um, you'll come back and tune in, even if it's not your dominant Enneagram type, because maybe there is something that you do see in yourself. So continue to expand your self-awareness, that self-reflection. And there will probably be some things in here that we talk about that resonate with you when you think about your teammate, when you think about your boss, when you think about somebody that you lead, maybe somebody at home, a family member, a friend. And so we'll use this series to also continue to enhance and expand our others' awareness, our relationship management. I'm just getting back from a workshop last week out in Scottsdale with our group. And like all the groups, there are always things that I am new things that I am learning, that I am impressed by, that I um that I find really interesting because of the real life experiences that people are sharing, the questions that they're asking, their own reflections and insights that they're having. And so as a facilitator, it's always really interesting. And last week was no different. There were several things that came up, and the one that I wanted to share with you here, um, it kind of kind of ties into the the type two topic today. Um it happened to be a type two, but but this happens, uh, can happen with any type. And the question came up as we started going through all the different types, that there was an overwhelming amount of group members that had some sort of type two show up, either as their top dominant type, or it showed up as one of their top three on the Enneagram assessment tests that they took. Um, as we were going through the descriptions live, people were seeing themselves and certain characteristics. And one of the members of the group said, Is this because our founder, kind of the person who created this group from the beginning, they had a lot of type two energy around being selfless, having this message of um taking care of others, leading with kindness, being cautious not to be too self-centered or too self-promotional. So it's kind of interesting how many of us are relating to the type two, even though we might have what seems like very different Enneagram types in our top one or our top two or three. Um, so there were people that were saying, you know, I'm I'm really I'm filling a lot of the eight, but I but I can see this two. I'm filling the three, but I can see the two. I'm filling the one, but I can see the two. Um, I'm filling the the four, but I can see the two. I'm filling the nine, but I can see the two. Uh, and so that was really interesting to reflect on and something that you can do as well along your own typing path because that will happen. Another example that happened recently, it was inside a leadership team where the leader was noticing on his team specific map how many people, the majority of his team members, were also identifying as a type A, which is what he identified with. And he was questioning, you know, I wonder if this person is actually a one, or I wonder if this person is actually a three. This person actually seems like a seven to me, looking at what what they struggle with, what they're really great at. But they're all of these people are showing up, identifying as a type A. And I'm just wondering, is that because they feel like they have to be a type A? Maybe consciously or unconsciously, they're trying to mold themselves to this behavior because they think these are the qualities that I expect and what, which may, which may be true. Um, or is it that I just happen to be hiring a bunch of other people like me? And so obviously, we can't know for sure without having those team members in the room and and talking with them more, but it was an interesting uh question, an interesting thing to reflect on, and kind of similar situation here. It's somebody at the top, whether it's a person or kind of the industry culture, the company culture, the department culture may very well influence how you your type shows up. And and can add some confusion to that process because you're you've heard this message in the case of the workshop last week. You know, be kind, put others first, think about others, others focus, don't be too promotional, don't don't put the focus too much on yourself. Regardless of the type, these were some of the recurring messages that they had gotten. So it makes sense that there would be a lot of people uh in that group really filling the type two, or in the case of this type 8 leader, why there would be a lot of people on their team, his team, who was filling the type A or thought they maybe were a type 8 or wanted to be a type 8. And so, you know, people will ask, how do we use this type? Should we should we put um should we get signs for everybody and have them put it out put outside their office? And we I just had this conversation yesterday with another group. Uh, you can certainly do that as a way to start a conversation. Um, it could be a starting point, but because of all of these other things, especially in the beginning of somebody's Enneagram journey, they may say, Hey, I want an eight title outside my office because, you know, I want to be an eight, but it's really, hey, I'm leading with a one or I'm leading with a four or what, you know, whatever that might be. So just just gotta hold that initial and really anytime, hold that that type uh loosely, and whether it's for ourselves or or somebody on our team, because there can be all these other things that are kind of influencing how we determine what what that dominant type is. And so in the workshops, I'll always say, you know, if if the United States was an Enneagram type, it would probably be a type three, which makes sense why so many people, especially in the workplace, really can see many qualities of a type three in themselves. Even fours, we'll talk about how, yeah, I can, I can, I can see this, uh, I can see the three, a lot of three qualities in here, because in the United States, that's so ingrained in our culture. The grades, the awards, the trophies in sports, the getting into college, the getting a great job, getting the car, the house, the family, the picket fence, the, you know, the all of that, that successful image, that American dream, whatever that might be now. Um, and so it makes sense why so many of us can see some of those things in us because we've just been steeped in it for so long. So, same thing that was going on with this group from last week with the type two, same thing that's going on with this type eight leader, and why so many people on his team might be identifying as a type eight. So just something to, just something to reflect on for yourself and to think about if you're looking at your your team as a as a leader and seeing kind of where they land, something to be aware of, maybe to dig deeper into, to reflect more on, to get more curious about. So, with that, let's get into uh our Enneagram type twos, uh the D the Derailers here. As a reminder, our type twos are striving to feel connected. Now, this is even though they have a reputation for being called the helper and wanting to help, it goes so much deeper than that. It is because I want to feel connected. I want to be connected to these, to the important people in my life. Uh, when they walk into a room, their immediate focus tends to go to the people around them and understanding how are they doing? What do they need? How can they help? How can they support those people? They tend to be very service-oriented uh versus maybe more task-oriented, like our type ones that we talked about last week. Um, and and they kind of want to kind of want to be in a position where they're kind of indispensable to others. They want to be so valuable that uh other people need them and they have that that though those connection roots can go even deeper. Now we got to be careful with the stereotypes here with the with the type two. Um, they're not all warm, fuzzy baking casseroles, you know, helping random strangers on the sidewalk. Uh, there can be a lot of passion, there can be a lot of anger at times, and we're gonna talk about that here in just a minute with the deraillers. Um, so just be cautious about what your version of a type two is, and it really comes down to the connection, striving to feel connected. So as we go through each of these derailers, ways that this type two can get off track at work, I think that you'll find that all of these make sense based on somebody whose core logic is striving to feel connected. And I think when you position it like that, either to yourself or when you're thinking about somebody else, it it kind of gives you some empathy. It gives you a deeper understanding. Okay, that that makes sense. Somebody who is is driven by striving to feel connected, it makes sense why they would struggle with this. You know, and we all have our own things and each type has has its own things, and each type kind of makes sense based on what their struggles are um and what that core logic is that is fueling that. So let's get into it. So, our type two, the first derailler or way that they could get off track, um, is worrying about other people's problems, everyone else's problems, focusing on their needs, their goals, their wants, and then forgetting about their own. And that might mean getting so involved in somebody else's problems, trying to help them solve that problem that they completely get off track and don't get to the things that they needed to get to, their goals, their work for the day, for the week, whatever that might be. Um, they may get so involved in somebody else's needs and problems and what's going on that they forget about their own needs and goals. It goes on for so long. So our type two striving to feel connected, it makes sense why this would be a derailler for them, why this could be a potential challenge. And so, you know, it's not necessarily bad. You're not a terrible person if this happens to you. It makes sense if your core logic is to feel connected. Totally makes sense why you might struggle with this at times. So just something to be aware of. And and in order to change this habit, to change the situation, our type twos will have to adjust their narrative around this a little bit. And I think some of it goes to kind of what the the group from last week, what some of those messages were. Don't don't focus on yourself too much, you know. Uh think about others, be giving, be willing to help, be kind. And there needs to be some sort of of shift in your story here that you can still be kind, that you can still be giving if you are taking care of your own needs, if you are taking care of your own goals, the work that you need to do, so that then you have the energy, you have the time, you have the mental capacity to help others with their problems, to help others with their needs if you're taking care of your own. So you can actually be more connected by focusing on your own needs. Another way that our type twos can get derailed at work is always taking the support role. So they are known a lot of times as the lead behind the throne, the guide behind the curtain. Uh, they tend to resist leading from the front. Think of this as kind of the ultimate example is the the chief of staff to the president, right? Very influential, incredibly powerful. So our type twos absolutely have the ability to be influential and powerful. Sometimes they just, it's just stepping out into that limelight, into the front, um, that can feel really uncomfortable. Now, you don't have to do it all the time, every day, but there may be certain situations that call for you to step out of that comfort zone a little bit and to step into the limelight, whether for your career advancement, whether it is to um maybe get some recognition for a job well done that you did, bring your team along into that spotlight. And so there will be some sort of narrative shift around here that says, you know, I can I can lead, I can be powerful from the front, and I can still be connected. Um, it it might look a little bit different than what I'm thinking. And and when I do that, I'm actually able to bring my team along, uh, maybe get them the funding that they need, the additional resources that we need for this project, this department, whatever it might be, because I'm stepping out into the front and leading and speaking up from the front lines. So something to reflect on and think about. Another derailer for our type twos. Um, I'm gonna talk about two ends of a spectrum, and it's around breaking boundaries. So one end of the spectrum is this desire to help, even when even when no one's asking for your help. Um, they not may they may not only be not be asking, they may just downright not want your help. But you're gonna you want to help, you want to be connected, you want to be useful, you want to be needed, and so you're gonna give unsolicited advice. Um, you might give unsolicited help, and it can feel a little intrusive on the receiving end. To you, it might feel incredibly caring and nurturing, but on the other end, it might feel like, wow, they're really stepping over my boundaries, they're intrusive, this is frustrating. Um, so want to be want to be kind of cautious there. And now on the other side, the flip side here is that they can also struggle with breaking boundaries by saying, uh, because they struggle to say no when asked for help, even when they don't have the time or the capacity to take on more. And it can feel really weird, very uncomfortable saying no, many of the types, especially for the type two who always wants to be able to say yes and step in and help. Um, so maybe it's not a no, maybe it is, but maybe sometimes it's a not right now or yes, and could I look at it next week instead of right now? Um, and so just kind of before you immediately jump in and say yes, slowing down to kind of again reflect uh what is my current workload? What's going on in my personal life that might impact this? Um, you know, could somebody else help this time? Uh, and just kind of thinking about that, reflecting on that, and then also reflecting on your desire to help others, and just, you know, is it is it wanted help? Is it wanted help? And then our final derailer here is a term called histrionics. And this can happen for the type two because they do care so deeply about their people, about those connections that they can have um a really intense or passionate reaction. And it might be a reaction of anger, it might be a reaction of sadness, it might be a reaction of jealousy, et cetera, et cetera. Um, at times, especially in the workplace, though, it may be a little inappropriate of a reaction. Um, it may be an overly emotional response that actually causes you to be disconnected from the group, from the person, because it was overwhelming to the group, to the person, because it was inappropriate in that situation. And so we can't control how we feel on the inside, right? We can't we can't control that. Um, our twos are gonna feel deeply if there is an announcement that is upsetting that might impact their team in a negative way, that um there is a change that you know that they feel uh a certain way about. You're you're gonna feel that. What you do have control over, though, is your response to that. And at work, especially, there is gonna be a little bit of that kind of political savviness, organizational awareness that you will need to bring to the meeting, to the workplace, to the situation, the conversation that you're in, and dial in your response appropriately. And that may not feel natural, that may not be your natural response, but is it the appropriate response so that you can remain connected, so that people want to make sure that you're in the loop, that want to bring you into the fold and that and those meanings and those conversations. And so uh just being aware of your reactions to certain things. And it might mean, you know, rather than acting and, you know, really with strong emotion, um pausing, slowing down, saying that you need some time to think about this, and then looking for the data, looking for the analysis, looking for the numbers that might tell a different story or that might support what's what's actually needed to help kind of temper that strong reaction. It's not personal. This is what the numbers say we need to do. Um, kind of borrowing some some of our data. Show me the data, don't give me the drama kind of energy that our ones, our fives uh a lot of times we'll have. Not to become one of those, but just how can I bring some of that in to kind of uh help me navigate this strong emotional feeling that you might be having on the inside to manage an appropriate reaction depending on the environment, the person, the group in front of you. So we have covered four derailers for our type twos and some ways to get back on track. One of those ways, and this is really hard. This is not gonna be easy. This will be a work in progress, probably forever. Uh, but allow it to be okay that not everyone is gonna like you. So that that people pleasing, that need to say yes, that need to help, that need that that kind of instinct to worry about other people's problems, help out. There's gonna be some people that that don't want your help, that um feel disappointed when you say no. No, that may not like you because you had to say no to helping. Um, and and that's okay. And that is okay. Now that is easier said than done, especially after years, decades of feeling that need. But again, something to reflect on, to think about, to work towards. Um doing some activities alone, getting comfortable with your autonomy is another way to get back on track. Uh, connecting with yourself, putting yourself first. What might that look like? And then how might that impact your relationships for the better when you do those things? You know, doing a hobby alone, going outside and in nature and walking by yourself. Again, it might feel weird and uncomfortable and not something you want to do initially, but there is there can be a lot of benefit in there. Um, the third way to get back on track is recognizing the importance of task-oriented work. You know, sometimes the results are needed over nurturing others. And that is a hard, that is hard to do at times for our type twos, but you may actually be able to take better care of your team if you're focused on those results. They may have a job, you know, they may get a raise, they may get the funding that they need, the resources that they need, um, because you're focused on those tasks and those results, and the company is going to give you what you need so that you can take care of your people in those situations. Uh, another way to get back on track is to step into the spotlight occasionally. We talked about that earlier. Twos don't always have to work from behind the scenes. There may be opportunities that will benefit your career, that will benefit your team, your organization when you step out from behind the scenes. And then the last one, not easy again, but practice saying no. Consider when you need to say no to others so that you can say yes to yourself, to your priorities, and being aware of how much you have going on, how much is on your plate, how much time you have, so that you know I can say yes to this, or I can't say yes to this right now. I could say yes to it next month, or ask me next quarter. You know, it doesn't have to be just a simple yes or no. It can be, but it could also be a not right now, come find me tomorrow, come find me, you know, six months from now, whatever that might be. So we've we've looked at the the ways our type two can get off track, some ways for getting back on track, some things to reflect on. Hopefully you've gained some something that you can use um personally or with a team member. Next week, we are gonna be looking at our type three who are striving to feel outstanding. These are things that we talk about in our leadership trainings, in our introduction to the Enneagram for team collaboration, cross-department collaboration, Enneagram workshops. I'm gonna invite you to check out those options over at Enneagramba.com. We talk through these things, we look at what's going on, what are some common tendencies of this type, what type are you resonating with, and then ways to grow based on this information, ways to grow as an individual contributor, as a leader, as a supportive teammate. So we have workshops, programs, and uh individual leadership coaching opportunities over at enneagrammba.com. With that, I hope that you will come back and join us to look at our type 3 derailers next session. Have a wonderful week ahead, and I'll see you in the next one.