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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. We are in the middle of a series where we are looking at ways each type can get off track at work. What are those core derailers for each type? Derailers might be blind spots, might be common challenges, whatever word you want to add in there or use in there. We've looked at the type one, we've looked at the type two last week. Today we're going to be looking at the type three, striving to feel outstanding. And I've said this with the others. Even if you don't identify as a type three, I'm going to invite you to stick with us because I bet there's at least one of these in here that you can personally relate to. And then there may be a three on your team, somebody that you lead, somebody that you work next to, somebody that um leads you, that you can learn a little bit more about, understand a little bit more deeply by tuning in. So I'm gonna invite you to stick with us, regardless if you identify it as a type three or not. We're gonna get into what those blind spots are, those derailers. As a reminder, these derailers is a is a concept that comes from the awareness to action Enneagram, which is the model that we follow here at Enneagram MBA. And these can be really helpful because it says, you know, any type can struggle with any of these, of course. But based on that core logic that's driving your bus most days, not every day, every all the time, but driving your bus most of the day on most days, um, it makes sense that you would run into some of these derailers. It makes sense why you would have some of these challenges. And just that understanding of, okay, that makes sense, can take away maybe some of the shame, some of the bad feelings you might have that you struggle with this. First of all, it's a common tendency of people who are who are led by this logic that they will that they will struggle with this. So you're not alone right away. And secondly, it it makes sense. You know, last week we talked about striving to feel connected. It makes sense why those type twos would struggle with some of the things that they did. Today we're gonna be talking about striving to feel outstanding and and the the deraillers, the ways that they can get off track. It makes sense based on that logic that influences our thinking, that influences our behavior, why, as type threes, we might run into some of these. As I am preparing for this episode, I am also preparing for a couple of workshops next week. Enneagram MBA has three workshops next week with teams, um, one way up north uh or in Canada. I'm gonna be heading up there for a part two with a team that I've had the opportunity to work with um last year and their leadership team a couple of times. And then um one of the other days, we're gonna be bringing one of their adjacent departments online with the Enneagram and introducing the Enneagram to that group, which will just be wonderful to have both of these departments um kind of speaking the same language, having that understanding about each other, um, opening up some important conversation. So that'll be really fun. And then we also have a um an executive team workshop happening way down south uh next week, around the same time that one of our Enneagram uh MBA visiting facilitators will be leading and introducing the Enneagram specifically for leaders for that one. So I will definitely share uh, as always, some interesting takeaways that come from those. So keep an eye out for those in the next couple of weeks. Today, though, we're gonna talk about our Enneagram type three derailers. Uh, the type three, as a reminder, is striving to feel outstanding. When they walk into a room, they are assessing the room, not like the two who might be looking for understanding people and what they need and how can they support them. They're looking at people, but they are looking at who would be the most beneficial for me to network with? Who do I need to be in this room? Who do I need to be in front of this person that I'm about to approach? And so they're bringing a lot of that kind of political savviness, that organizational awareness to the room that they're walking into. And that can be a really wonderful skill. It can sometimes be overused and come across as a little authentic. We'll talk more about that later. Um, but our type threes are striving to feel connected. They are also incredibly focused on um tasks, goals, projects, specifically completing those projects. So they want to do an excellent job, but they also want to, and I should say they also want to complete that project in the most efficient way, ideally, the fastest way possible to be able to check that goal off and move on to the next one. And our type threes are they always want to do a great job. They understand though that sometimes B plus is okay. It does not everything has to be an A, like sometimes our one might our ones might believe. Um, and so that goes to that ability to move fast, that efficiency uh gift, I guess, the that skill that our type threes will have. Um, it's important for them to reach those goals and then be recognized for reaching those goals, be recognized for their accomplishments and their success. So, knowing that as we go through these derailers, I think that you'll you'll see, okay, well, that makes sense why this person might struggle with this and this and this. So the first derailleur is associating their worth by how much they work. Our type threes can allow their title, the college they went to, the salary they have, who's in their network, the car they drive, the house they live in, the organization that they work for, some of these other material items to determine their worth as a human being. They might think if I'm not working, what value do I bring? We've talked about this example before, but um a common one that I will hear are new mothers who are really successful, high achieving in the workplace, take time off to go on their maternity leave, and logically they know this is really important. I'm raising a human being. This is a really, you know, key time in my child's life, in my life as well. But I can't help feeling a little worthless because nobody's bringing me into a meeting. I don't have any goals at work that I'm uh, you know, achieving, marking off, checking off. And it is really hard to feel accomplished, uh, to feel worthy as a human being when I am not needed in that way, when I'm not achieving in that way. So that will be some of the work of our type threes is to untangle that association with who I am as a human being is how much money I make, is the title that I have at work, is how much I am working, uh, and look for other ways to feel outstanding. Uh, that that story, that logic, we it'll be real, it's harder to change that logic. So we need to look at how we can reframe the story, rewrite that narrative so that being outstanding in other areas and other situations, we can change the meaning of that story. Another derailler is taking on too much. So they have this desire to be highly accomplished and be seen as constantly adding value. And this can lead to a, you know, I'll just do it. I'll just do it. I can do it faster, I can do it better, I'll just do it. And that can lead to overworking and eventually burning themselves out. One of the key things that we'll talk about, especially with leaders, um, as an opportunity for growth is around delegation because they have gotten to where they are because of how successful they've been doing the work that needs to be done. And now it can be harder to let go of that work and just do this kind of this new level because it's like, well, I know how to do this. Let me help my team. I want to help my team be outstanding, and so I'm just gonna do it. And again, I can do it faster, better. Um, so I'll just do it. And it's can be really difficult to delegate as a type three in this position. So that will be that will be some of the work is how can you still feel outstanding without maybe working all the time? How could you how could you maybe re-word that so that you are an outstanding leader who delegates and gives your team members opportunities to learn and be successful and be outstanding? Another derailer is not being knowable or coming across as a little inauthentic. We touched on this a big in the beginning. They are sometimes known as the chameleon, as a shapeshifter, because they are so good at that political networking. They know when to turn it on, who to turn it on to be, um, depending on who's in front of them. Because of that, sometimes it can be really hard to know because people are thinking, well, who are you really? Are you this person? Or are you are you really this person? Are you really this person? What do you actually stand for? What's actually important to you? So sometimes because of that skill, when it's overused, they can seem inauthentic, they can seem superficial, and it can be really hard to get to know this person as a teammate. Um, leaders might also struggle with this, creating meaningful relationships with their team, building trust can be difficult when this is your perception. And so again, it'll be the the work of this person will be okay, how can I transform, rewrite this narrative so that I can still feel outstanding uh by being more authentic, by maybe being a little bit more self-revealing to certain people in certain situations. The fourth derailer is being stuck in that individual contributor uh role. And we just kind of touched on this where it was taking on too much. Uh, this is a maybe a byproduct of that where you can view others as slowing your progress down, uh, you know, keeping you from reaching the goal as quickly as you want to reach it. Um and so you just get stuck in you get stuck down here. Even when you get promoted, you still get stuck doing the hands-on because you can't you can't let go, you can't delegate, you can't allow somebody else to make a mistake or do it their way, or maybe do it a little bit more slowly initially. Um this can also result in a failure to nurture and to mentor the people that you lead because you want to lead by example. You want to have, you know, you want to be there in there in the trenches. And again, this can be a positive. It's just when it's overused, when you don't give your team an opportunity to also practice what they see you doing, to learn from their mistakes, to make mistakes and and ideally learn from them. And so this is probably in my experience, the biggest struggle that type threes have is that I think taking on too much and then getting stuck in individual contributor, um, or as an individual contributor, because it is hard to let go. Who am I? Are we still gonna be outstanding if we don't complete this as fast as I could complete it? You know, how is this gonna make our team look if we make a mistake? Um, but it the the narrative needs to shift from, you know, how can I be an outstanding leader by allowing my team to make mistakes, by allowing my team to learn from mistakes? That that is part of growth. And then the last derailler here is seeking recognition. And this isn't necessarily a negative. Again, I think it's just this idea of dialing it in. I think this can be a really strong skill because you're promoting yourself, you're calling attention to your accomplishments, maybe you're calling attention to your team's accomplishments. What does that get you? Promotion, a raise, or the resources you need for your department or a project. There is a lot of benefit in tooting your own horn at times. Many other types can struggle with self-promoting or shining the light on their accomplishments. And they might believe, well, my work will speak for itself. We know that that most of the time is not true. You have to speak for yourself. You have to speak for your work. Um, and type threes can be really excellent at this. However, at times it can seem like they are more focused on bringing attention to their success, making themselves seem important, versus being a team player versus allowing others to get attention for their success. And so that will be something, again, as a type three, um, you will need to work on shifting that narrative around your team getting their recognition or a teammate getting their recognition and you still feeling outstanding, maybe because you were able to support them. Um, somebody's doing something new, and maybe you didn't get their recognition, but you can feel outstanding because the the advice, the assistance that you gave them allowed them to get recognition. So that will just whatever that narrative shift for you, but that will be something for our type threes to pay attention to, to reflect on. So we talked about five derailers here, and then how can our threes get back on track? I got five ideas for you. Um being realistic about what you can actually accomplish. And I think this is in uh direct response to the taking on too much. I think it could also be a response to the struggling with individual contributor syndrome, especially when you get that promotion. A lot of times people end up doing two jobs or three jobs. They're doing the job they got promoted to and they're still um stuck in down here where they were doing that job as well. Uh so watch out for overpromising um to look good or to make a sale or to um, you know, feel like you need to do it better, faster. The the second one, uh, second concept to think about, getting back on track, is to um just continue to be aware of quality. Don't compromise on the quality for the sake of getting it done. Many threes, this may or may not be a challenge for because they want to look good. Um, sometimes, though, what happens is the looking good happens on the surface level, and it's just we got it done. We made the promise, and then we didn't actually think about all the work that's gonna go along with that or how much time that's actually gonna take, um, what's gonna be needed to actually deliver what we just promised. So being aware of that. Um getting involved outside of work, looking for hobbies, um things to do outside that's that support your human experience um that isn't tied to a paycheck or a promotion or a job title necessarily. What are some ways that you can still feel outstanding in other areas of your life? And then also remembering that your co-workers, the people that you lead that you work next to are also human beings, are people as well with lives outside of work. So don't forget about that either. Uh, the the fourth one is refining success. So, you know, your our threes are working so hard for this success, for these achievements. And what is it for? So, so set that purpose, set that intention. Um, I want to hit these goals because I want to be able to relax. I want to be able to take my family on vacation. Um, I want to be able to have more time to participate in this hobby or you know, whatever that is. So it's I want to be successful. What is that? You know, for so what? For what? What's the point of it all? And then last but not least, all of these I know are easier said than done. And I think this one, this last one especially, um, untangling your worth from your work. You know, just it it this is hard, you know, for me to say, oh, just remember you're already a worthy human being, regardless of of how much or little you work. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? You're probably sure, sure, whatever. Um, but really, really believing that, finding ways to really believe that you are more than that job title, that you are more than the accomplishments or lack of what you you are maybe able to accomplish at work. There is so much more to you than just in those, you know, working hours, than just what you do to get a paycheck, so much more, and and make sure you're also investing energy and attention and time into those things, those things, or potentially people as well. Now, these are things that we talk about in our workshops, especially um as we as we go along in our workshop programming. So, part twos, part threes. Um, we're we're digging into some of these deeper concepts around our struggles and how we can work through and navigate those struggles, probably not avoid them, but but navigate more effectively, more efficiently through those. Threes will like that. Uh, so I'm gonna invite you to check out our workshop and programming and coaching opportunities over at Enneagramba.com. Um, we have workshops for teams, for events, at conferences. We have uh individual coaching for new, emerging, and um seasoned leaders with our leadership coaches uh that will walk through this in a more individual process. So check out those options, um, connect, set up some time to talk through your particular situation. I would love to hear from you. Um tomorrow, I was gonna say tomorrow. Next weekend, we're gonna be looking at the type four derailers, ways that our type fours who are striving to feel unique can get off track. So I hope you'll come back and join us for that one. Until then, have a wonderful weekend and rest of your rest of your week ahead. Um, and I will hopefully get to get to talk to you uh in the next one.