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You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Well, happy Saturday. If you happen to be listening to this on the date that we publish, uh, I hope your weekend is off to a great start. Regardless of the day that you're listening, I hope you're having a wonderful morning, afternoon, evening, whenever it is. You are listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, and we are going to be getting into the type 8 derailers. Um, but before we do that, um, I wanted to share something uh that I wasn't planning on sharing, but I've been out here in the dining room uh working today on a post workshop report from one of our clients that we did a workshop with a few weeks ago. Um we're in full summer mode here. We have uh my son's had camp the last three weeks. He had the day off today, and typically where I record and and work is is my office. But the office is right next to the sunroom, which has the basketball goal, and that's where he is right now. And so it's uh I love it. I love I love being here with him, but uh it's uh it's loud as well. So I'm out here uh recording and working, and I wanted to share some feedback from this latest group that I'm working on with the the this workshop report. Uh this workshop report is something that we started doing, gosh, I don't know, about a year and a half or so, maybe I don't know, maybe even two years now, and we just continue to improve and update it. But this is something tangible that the manager slash managers, the the workshop host has can put their hands on. You know, sometimes these workshops are experiences and it's hard to have something tangible to like walk away with. And so I love being able to uh they get a digital copy, but I love being able to mail something tangible and saying, you know, here is you know your your experience in a box. Uh, this is the recap of that. And so uh at the beginning of each workshop, we share a uh or we ask the team members to complete their Enneagram assessment along with a very short pre-workshop quit or uh survey uh just to get a temperature on what is going really well, what challenges are you facing, what would you like to get out of the program or the experience, and then how do you rank yourself when it comes to self-awareness, others' awareness, conflict management, collaboration skills? And then we ask those same ranking questions around self-awareness, others' awareness. Um, at the end, most of the time, I dare say all the time, uh, there's been an improvement, but it's just interesting to kind of see how much. And then we also ask some open-ended questions um to get some additional insight, what's behind those scores. And in this particular group, this is it's no different than what we see. Um the the biggest kind of takeaway that people loved about their experience is the opportunity to learn about their teammates and to share their own experiences with those teammates. The the opportunity to talk about these things that typically you're not probably talking about. Uh, you know, you're you're working with each other. There might be an issue here or there come up that you problem solve with another teammate or two, but very rarely are you sitting in a room with your entire team or the entire department sitting around saying, you know, tell me about your workplace preferences. What is a pet peeve that I should know? What's your what's your communication preferences? How do you like to be appreciated? Um, what what should I definitely do not to uh, you know, what what would what don't you love when it comes to showing appreciation? How should I deliver feedback in the most effective way? And so we're most of us aren't going around having those conversations, let alone uh with uh a large group of people that we work with, but it can be so helpful and people do find it so impactful. And so while I think we have uh I know that we have an incredible team of Enneagram facilitators who have their own professional leadership experience, their own Enneagram um credentials and experience teaching, coaching, facilitating. Um, they bring humor and experience and professionalism and real world application to each and every workshop. You know, eight times out of 10, nine times out of 10, the the question, you know, what did you find most helpful or engaging doesn't have a thing to do with the facilitator? Doesn't have a lot to do with the slides, the information. It was what I was able, what I was able to learn about myself and my teammates because of that information. And so I'm gonna read a couple to you from the last workshop. They said walking my what was your, what was your, what was the most helpful or engaging part of the workshop experience? Somebody said walking through each of the numbers and being able to connect a prominent type to my manager was really helpful. I now have some tools to better communicate with them and vice versa. Uh, somebody else said, you know, you know, there were some parts that were a little awkward, but I thought that the group discussion was really insightful and opened up a larger conversation to have in the future. Uh the sharing portion was my favorite. It was great to see others understand the different perspectives. Somebody else said, I really enjoyed the group breakouts with the same types. It was comforting to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this way. And I hear that from so many people when we do the type breakouts. Um, just to say, I know it's so helpful to know I'm not crazy. Somebody else said at the end of the workshop, when we were able to get into groups and discuss our preferences and who we work really well with, or what qualities we might find more challenging to understand, was really helpful because now I know I can change or adjust my communication style or my approach to these people. I really enjoyed the discussion between the different types on what qualities each works best with in others and what what they might find challenging. And then the last one I'll share with you was around uh loving the open discussion. It was very encouraging and insightful. Learning how the different traits interact and are perceived by each other was fascinating. And so nothing in there said, Sarah was an awesome facilitator or loved those slides, which I think, I think are great, you know, I think are true. But the thing that the biggest thing that people take away are those conversations where they're learning about each other. So I am obviously very biased and believe that our guided workshop experiences, whether they're two hours or a half day or a full day, um, you're gonna get the biggest impact. You're gonna have the most insights because we have these Enneagram professionals who are taking their real world experiences, guiding you through the Enneagram, able to answer questions. They're teaching it in a way that makes sure that any misconceptions are addressed right away. They're able to answer questions, concerns. Um, and so obviously, you know, that that's what always be my recommendation. Now, when that's not a pop a possibility though, um because of budget or time or resources or whatever, I am going to put a plug in here for our DIY workshop kits. And I'll put a link here in here at the at the end or in the show notes. You can find it on our workshops page on EnneagramMBA.com. And the reason why I'm gonna I'm gonna promote this for just a moment is because people want the time to connect with each other. And so the Enneagram kind of gives you some prompts to be able to even reflect on what I should share with my teammate? What would be helpful for them to understand? And so the Enneagram can give you some insights about hey, you're really great at this. This is where you potentially might struggle. These are some things to look at when you're looking for growth opportunities. And uh our workshops start to do that depending on on the length. Um, our DIY kit is set up to be a 90 to two hour, 90 minute to two hour workshop. And just creating that space for your team uh could be a really impactful time that you spend with your group. Um, again, always gonna advocate for the in-person. Uh, I think that people, it's easier to open up than on a Zoom call, but if that's all you got, you could do this virtually and just carving out the space, saying, hey, we're not gonna answer emails right now as much as we can, as much as we can avoid it. Um, we're not going to, you know, work on any work projects for the next two hours. What we're gonna do is learn about ourselves, learn about each other, how to work best together so that when we go back to sending emails and working on our projects together, we're that much more effective, um, productive, successful, and ideally less stress, there's less tension because we're starting to understand each other that much more. So I'll put out the plug for the the DIY kit there. Um, and of course, uh our our workshops, our guided workshops is uh is a great uh place to start. But if you if you can't, the the DIY kit might be something good to look into. So check that out. With that, uh, I know if you're listening to this as a type eight, you're probably like, get on, get on with it, get on with it. So we're we're gonna get into it. Type eight, getting off track. How each type gets off track. And these are maybe blind spots or strengths that are overused. And uh, you know, when they're really dialed in, it can be such um a gift for that that individual and the team, but when it is dialed up too high, it can become a blind spot, it can become overused, it can have uh consequences that maybe weren't intentional by that person, in this case, the type eight. So we all have these, each type has their derailers, uh, and we're not picking on anybody. We're talking about the type eight today. We've done one through seven up until then, so you can go listen to us uh talk about how each type gets off track um with those. But today we're looking at type eights who are striving to feel powerful. Uh, they tend to focus on the big picture. They have uh they're striving to feel powerful and that they are wanting the power to produce a result. Uh, they want to think about this big vision, this big impact, uh, what should happen. And then they have the stamina, the energy, the decisiveness, the know-how to execute and make it happen. Their leadership style is known as the commander. And so when you think about that, you kind of start to think about some qualities that go along with that. And that is our type A. And they bring so many strengths to a team. We need these people. Uh, and a lot of them are really dialed in, big-hearted, really caring about their teams, get things done also. And sometimes because of stress, a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, whatever it might be, they might get off track. Uh, and some of them might have been off track for a long time and they just don't know, but they're probably not listening to this podcast if so. So uh for our first derailer uh for the type eight, it's around bullying, but I don't think an eight would call it bullying. They would probably say it's tough love, or I'm being honest. I'm giving it to you straight. Uh, and I and the intention is to be helpful, to get something done, to be helpful. But most of the time, it it isn't always, I don't want to say most of the time, sometimes it's not always received that way by co-workers. They might experience it as bullying, as being dominating and mean, and it can cause fear in bringing issues up in the future, having conversations, being honest. AIDS want that brutal honesty. They're gonna give it and they want it so badly in return. However, because of their uh because of this directness and this honesty and this, you know, let's just get to the point type of type of energy, it can make others feel like it's not safe to be honest, which is so ironic because that's what our AIDS want most of all. And so that will we'll talk about some things at the end, but that but this could be a potential place of growth, especially for our leaders, creating um a space where your team members feel comfortable coming to you with challenges. Now, AIDS will say, Man, I don't know that I want you to come come with me or come to me with challenges. Uh, I want you to come to me with solutions. If you have a challenge, come to me with a challenge and a solution. And uh that is something to know about your type eight manager or type eight teammate. That is a pet peeve that we end up spending time on almost every workshop. And eights will say, Yes, I hate it when people come and complain. I hate it when people come and vent and there's no solution, or they'll come to me with a solution, but it's like, well, we could do this, or we could do this. And I, as an eight, I just don't have confidence in your ability to execute on the solution, and so now I have to step in and be in charge of something else, and I I may not want to. So bullying derailor to is overwhelming others or uh being really volatile. And I think an eight again would say, I'm just really passionate. I have a lot of energy and I'm really passionate. But others on the receiving end, when this is dialed up too high in a certain situation or with a certain person, they might experience it as really that person being really angry, that type eight being really angry, that that type eight being really intense with their opinions and coming off as really aggressive, potentially pushing their own opinion and agenda on the group or on that person, and kind of focused on the task, the project, at the expense of others and how they're doing and feeling about it. Again, this can be a strength at times. You need to press forward and you you gotta get the job done. And then other times, depending on the situation, this can be overdone. So with each of these, and I think I've said these for all the derailers, if you if you dial it in correctly for that situation, um, it actually be these derailers can actually be a strength, no different here, but it's just when this gets dialed up too much, that intensity, that passion can really overwhelm other people and and kind of to the first point start to shut those voices or other opinions down. Um derailler three is needing to be the boss and overwhelming need to be in charge or feel like they are in charge. Now, this is one that we talked about at a recent workshop where a lot of the leadership team, no surprise, was a type eight. And uh they were saying, listen, I don't necessarily have to be in charge all the time, nor do I really want to be in charge. I would love to feel confident in somebody else taking the lead. And then I get to focus on a few things that I really want to focus on or that need to be focused on rather than spreading myself thin and adding additional responsibilities and worry. But what happens is that nobody is able to, nobody is stepping up to be in charge. They're nobody's taking direct, you know, direct control or I don't feel confident about the direction they're taking us because they're not confident. And that kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier. I uh this this person um who was just kind of sharing some insight into this one as an eight was saying, I don't wanna, you know, I don't want to fix the leaking pipes, for example. But if you come to me and say, well, you know, it could be fixed this way, or we could call this person and do it this way, or we could try and do it this way, it's like, well, now I do, I again I have to be in charge because while that person is bringing solutions, which we as H just said that we appreciated, it's still making me feel like, okay, you you're not, which well, which one should we do? So it's like bring the solution, bring your recommendation, give it a try, or say, hey, this is what we're trying. Just come to me with an update, is what I will hear eight say. Um, but others might experience it like they need to be the boss. And sometimes this might be true. This is a derailler, this is a blind spot because sometimes it is, it is true. They can feel like my way or the highway kind of thing. Um, and this kind of goes to the bleeds into the next derailer four, where they have this need to always be right. And so sometimes AIDS can can be a little unwilling to hear feedback and other points of view. I think eights would probably have a take on this and say, Well, I'm here for your point of view. I'm here for your feedback if I can trust your confidence in yourself that the opinion you're giving, the recommendation you're making, but when you're coming to me and saying, uh, I don't know, we could try this, we might be able to, it's like that does not instill confidence. And so we're gonna go with my opinion. Where others, though, might say, you know, I just I'm a little, I need some time to process the information. I may not have the answer right away. Or as a leader, I might need you to help me grow in that confidence and build that confidence muscle. And when you're always stepping in and kind of taking charge, inserting your opinion, um, giving your feedback, it doesn't feel like there's room for mine or anybody else's. And so one of the things that type eight leaders will talk about when we look at the the growth opportunities, and um I think this came from Jeff Bezos, actually. I don't know what Enneagram type E is for sure, but he said, Because I am the leader, you know, people will look to me to speak first. And then when I speak, people have a tendency to agree, or if they had a conflicting opinion, they're not gonna bring it up. So I make it a point to be the last one to speak at the meeting. And so eights who just naturally are decisive, naturally are comfortable speaking up, tend to be very sure of themselves. They do have a tendency to speak up, which might stifle the opinions of others. And some of that is for the rest of us to own and and work through that. And to be a supportive teammate, to be a supportive manager, that might be a really practical uh strategy that you start to implement so that others have an opportunity to share that there's space. And you might have to sit there and quiet for three seconds, five seconds, 10 seconds. Uh, you might have to encourage the participation. You might, you know, have to keep trying meeting after meeting. Um, but I think people are gonna uh, you know, when when they have that space, when they're not immediately shut down, when you don't immediately go to toe-to-toe and they feel like, gosh, now my opinion, my idea is on trial and I have to justify it. Um, they might be speaking up more. If you want that. Sometimes it's like, hey, this is the decision we gotta, we gotta go with and we gotta move on. We don't, we we can't get everybody's opinion. All right. Last but not least is around impatience and impulsiveness. So eights are really great at jumping into action. We talk about their brand. Uh, if they had a brand, it would be Nike, just do it. They are not going to delay, and they expect others to keep up with the pace. Hey, we're jumping in. Everybody come along. Where we might have people like. Like our sixes saying, Hey, wait a minute, have we thought about this? Or our fives who need a little bit more time to process information? They might want some more information, data behind the decision to feel comfortable with it. Um, you know, uh our more kind of relationship first types like our twos, maybe our nines, might be thinking, wait a minute, can can we check in with everybody else? How is this gonna impact me? How is this gonna impact the team? What negative effects might this have on the people who have to carry out this action? And an eight typically isn't thinking a lot about that. And sometimes, you know, it's like, I, you know, this is the right thing to do. We gotta move, we gotta move now. And again, what a powerful strength at times. And in other situations, it can be a blind spot because you're not bringing the rest of the team along with you. Uh, you're leaving people behind, you're making people potentially feel um like there's not time or room for their questions or their thoughts or their additional need for information. And sometimes there will not be, and sometimes there may be where you will have an opportunity to slow down a little bit and bring others along with you. So getting back on track, uh, a couple of suggestions that come from the awareness to action Enneagram in this derailleur series that we're pulling from is for our eights to identify what triggers your anger. So they are really in touch with their anger. And again, anger is a human emotion. We all experience it. It's just kind of how we react, what we do with that emotion that can sometimes get us in trouble. And so for an eight, your your that anger typically just kind of simmers right underneath the surface when it when it needs to come out, you know, it's there, and then you can kind of move on. Um, however, there's there may be some situations that just really are triggering to you. So, so start to get in touch with those, rehearse how you will control that anger before you encounter the person or the people or the situation that are really activating to you. You know, and this comes from that most of the time, eights are just going far, they're going fast, they're, you know, bulldozing their way through a project, a challenge, a situation. And they're not always thinking about wait, what what triggers, what landmines am I about to step on here that uh could cause, you know, a really intense reaction from me. Uh, but just just slowing down a little bit. Hey, I'm about to have this conversation with an employee. Here's where I might get triggered, here's what I'm gonna say instead. Uh, we're starting this, here's what's probably gonna upset me in this meeting, here's what I can do. And you're not gonna get it right every time, you're not gonna be perfect, but starting to kind of think about how I might do this differently and and and really getting aware of those triggers. Um, another way to get back on track is to get feedback and do it sincerely. Sincerely ask for coworkers about how your uh decisiveness, your impulsivity, your you know, big action taking, your bold decision making, that decisiveness. How does that impact them? How do they experience it? And remember, you know, don't kill the messenger. Uh, you ask for the feedback, and it can be really helpful feedback. Like all of us, you know, there's feedback that is gonna be hard to hear. We might disagree with, uh, but this is that other person's experience and their perspective. And if it is a relationship that you care about and want to improve, this might be a worthy uh thing to do. The next way to get back on track is to be patient, you know, and you might be thinking, what? Uh no thanks. Uh, but this this is kind of around accepting that people don't always speak or act as quickly as you do or you would like them to do. So being patient with the people who might literally talk slower than you, who might, you know, be might need the five seconds to think about their response before they start talking. Right. And so being patient and and encouraging that space and that time for those people who need it. Uh, and then the last tip here for getting back on track is around releasing control of the outcome. Accept the truth that things will not always work out the way that you want them to. And striving to feel powerful does have some control in there. I want to be in control of myself. I want to be in control of the situation. Uh, I don't want anybody else telling me what to do. I want what I want to happen. And you can push, push, push, and potentially push people away, push yourself too hard. Uh and and and again, this this that there can be a lot of strengths in that mentality at times. And in other times, you can burn yourself out, burn bridges with your relationships of people. Uh, and and so this will be a practice. I think this is a practice that some of the other types can also. I'm thinking ones, uh, I'm thinking some sixes, threes potentially. Uh, and we all, all types can struggle with, hey, I want to know what's gonna happen and I want to be in control of the situation, but it's really striving to feel powerful, try striving to feel in control. They do not want to be taken advantage of, be seen as vulnerable or weak. Um, and so this can be something that uh is is difficult, is more difficult than others. So with that, um, I hope that was helpful. If you happen to be led by a type 8 or working with a type 8 to get some additional insight, uh, you know, you might share some of this with them, send this to them, ask them what resonates, what doesn't. And then uh if you happen to be an eight listening to this, maybe there were some things that uh you heard to give you some pause, some things to think about, reflect on to bounce off others. Hey, I heard this on a podcast. Do you experience me that way? Um, and as I always say, with anything, anytime we give recommendations or insights, you know, at the at the end of the day, there's no way that I can possibly or that anyone can possibly know who you are, all your challenges, all your strengths, because you identify as one of nine numbers, right? So always say, take what is helpful and then ignore what isn't right now. And it might be helpful later on. It might never be helpful. Um, so just take take what is helpful uh in this short episode and then leave what isn't. With that, uh, don't forget, I'll drop the DIY kit where we talk about the lens of a type 8. How are they seeing the world? Um, as well as all nine types. We talk about the lens in the DIY kit. Um, what should you know if you are that type? What should you know about working with that type? And then there's some additional um activities. It gives you um a draft agenda that you can follow. It gives you options for how you want to do the assessment or quiz. It gives you some ideas for um exercises and interaction during the workshop. It gives you ideas for after the workshop. So check that out. It's 300 bucks. Um, and uh, I'll drop the link to that. And with that, thanks for being here, and we'll see you for the final type 9 uh derailler soon.