SPEAKER_00 0:03

You're listening to the Enneagram at Work Podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, and this is our final derailer type that we'll be talking about in this derailler series, how each type can get off track. We'll be talking about our type 9. Um, I know that we have been kind of dipping in and out of this series for a while. So um we're finally here. We're finally here at the end, and we're gonna be talking all about the deraillers for the type 9, and then as always, some ways for this type to get off track. Now, with all of these, and I I have to say this with each of these, because I don't know which ones you're listening to and which ones you're not. But we've been saying that you, regardless of your type, you might see yourself getting off track at work with some of these. And so um I will encourage you to listen to all of them because there might be all the type derailers, uh, because there might be something that um, you know, just because that's not your top type, maybe uh doesn't doesn't necessarily mean that you're not struggling with it. Or as so much of our content that may not be directly about your type, it will hopefully give you some additional insight about a teammate, somebody that you manage, your your manager, uh just give you some additional insight into what their struggles might be to be a more supportive teammate uh at work, support system at work. So with that, there's been there's been some things. I know we usually talk about kind of what's been going on, and there's been quite a few exciting things going on outside of just workshop and coaching delivery. Um, I'm not ready to share a couple of things yet though, but I am hopefully soon. So I'll just I'll just leave you with that mystery. Um yeah, there's a couple of different conversations we're having, and uh I'm excited to share with you once we kind of get in a place um about a new market that we're really looking to um expand our presence in and really a market and an industry. So stay tuned for that. Uh for today's episode though, let's get into it. Let's talk about our type nine with all of these. We laid the foundation. What exactly does it mean to be a type nine? Our type nines are striving to feel at peace. Um, they are looking for, hey, I want my outside environment to be peaceful. And then I also really want to feel at peace inside. So their immediate focus tends to go to other people similar to the two. And sometimes this can be why there is so much um kind of tension between am I a two or am I a nine? Um, they both very much focus on others, but twos tend to do it from a place of so that I can find a way that um maybe we are the same and have a connection or how's somebody doing. Um, and then where might I be able to help them? Whereas a nines focus on other people tends to be less about that and more about, hey, I just kind of want to understand um other people, their opinions, so that I can look for ways to create harmony and avoid conflict. I want to understand what people are talking about, what they're doing, how they're showing up, uh, so that I don't step on a landmine and get myself in into trouble and cause conflict or rock the boat. And so they're very attentive to others, but it's coming from that place rather than where two might be coming from. Um, so at work, there's a couple of derailers, and I say this for all of them. We all have our stuff, we all struggle, we all overuse our strengths at times. Uh, so the nines are no different. And one of their derailers is around um holding back. And if you remember what what I just said, um, this makes sense because hey, I want to hold back so I don't say something that might upset you. Before I speak, I kind of want to see what's the lay of the land, what's the vibe here, and then I'll chime in when if it makes sense, depending on uh how I feel might might best create that harmony or uh uh, you know, worst case, avoid a conflict. Um, so they may have a difficult time asserting themselves fully out of that fear of causing conflict, and they sometimes struggle with self-doubt, which I know our sixes can also struggle with. I hear that a lot. Um, and then fear of appearing arrogant. And if you look at the Enneagram, the type that uh the two types that the nine is connected to is the type six and the type three. And that type three point tends to be the one out of all the types that they neglect the most because striving to feel outstanding, well, that feels really self-promotional. That feels selfish, that feels like you're tooting your own horn. Um, that feels like you're putting yourself in the spotlight for everybody to have their opinions and judge and potentially rock the boat. So I want to avoid that at all costs. And so this idea, this derailler of holding back, um, it can serve you to, you know, uh before you just speak, take in the information, observe what's going on. But we're talking about sometimes it gets overused. And uh I think for our type eights, we just talked about how this is actually a growth opportunity for them to hold back, to speak last. But for our nines, it's almost the opposite for you to speak first, to share your thoughts and opinions first, to kind of lead the conversation can be a huge place of growth because this can be a place where you can get yourself off track at work when you're constantly holding back and sometimes never even speaking up, not just wait, waiting to speak last, so you can kind of understand what to say, but sometimes not even speaking up at all. Uh, the second derailleur, uh, which again, these all make sense uh based on that core strategy of striving to feel at peace. Uh, the derailer number two is avoiding conflict. So uh, you know, this is the kind of the textbook blind spot here for our type nines. And I don't even know if it's a blind spot for them. They probably realize that they do this. Um, but how calming and peaceful is it when you know that there is something that needs to be said that you are avoiding? Maybe it's not being said, maybe there's not, you know, visible conflict, but there's probably gonna be, if you keep avoiding it and avoiding it and avoiding it, there's probably gonna be some really thick tension in the room that you can feel or between a coworker. And so uh when our type nines are really are really leaning into this derailleur, this can lead to conflict, just festering, just resentment building, uh, important things, important conversations that need to be have remaining unresolved. And it could lead to passive aggressiveness for the type nine. And we all know at eventually it's gonna, you're gonna blow. And, you know, it may not be right away, it may not be next week, it may not be next month, it may not be next year, but at some point it is going to blow. And we talk about uh with our Marvel characters sometimes that the type nine would be the Hulk. And it's you know, calm, cool, collect, chill until it's not, and the Hulk comes out. And uh a lot of times it's because they have just let this fester and fester, they've held their tongue, and so that can be that can be a blind spot, that can be a way to get off track at work, especially because I I hear from other types that will say, this is a conversation we really need to have. And they're not wanting, they're avoiding me, they're avoiding it, they're trying to um change the subject, but we we need to have this conversation. All right, derailer number three for our type nines is being a little fuzzy around agreements and details. So this might look like conveniently forgetting unpleasant details or proving your point indirectly, uh, maybe stating uncomfortable comments through humor. I also see like a very tangible example of this in that sandwich feedback uh framework that that I'm sure we've all heard of, where you know, maybe a nine needs to give some difficult feedback to a teammate or somebody that they're leading, and they might say, you know, just really hyping them up, you're doing a great job on all this. But this were, you know, you're kind of struggling with this, but everything else, you know, you're you're doing great. But that that little piece right there where they said you're kind of struggling with that, it's so important. And it can get lost in that conversation where the other person is almost confused as to, okay, what just happened? Uh, what are we talking about? What do they need me to do? And so that's what we're talking about here because be being fuzzy, speaking indirectly, not being clear, um, kind of forgetting the whole idea of clearest kind and wanting to be nice and not upset somebody, but sometimes we need that directness and we need that that clarity to be able to grow and better support the people we work with and and uh lead. And then also I will say too, uh, other things that I've heard people say is that when a nine might be bringing up something really serious or something that's really important to them, but they use humor. Um, and again, this can be a real this can be such a gift. And all of these are when they're dialed in in the right situation with the right person, can be such a natural gift of a nine. But when this is dialed up too much and they're trying to communicate, you know, a really important issue, a challenge, and they're using humor, uh, it it can come across as like, well, do we need to take this seriously or not? Like, what is this really an issue that I need to spend extra time working through? Is are are we really that bad off if they're over here kind of joking about it? Um, so nines will have to be be careful about that, especially in a leadership role. All right. This next one, I I kind of already uh I kind of got ahead of myself earlier, is derailer number four, losing your temper. So letting unresolved conflicts um and unexpressed anger build to a volcanic explosion. And so this is that Hulk energy that I was just talking about. When you avoid those conflicts, um you're not only impacting others, you're impacting yourself and just letting it build and build and build. And eventually you are. And then, and then, you know, it's it's you're gonna feel bad about it afterwards. It's not gonna probably solve anything. Again, sometimes anger needs to be shown, it needs to be um presented. But what happens here rather than kind of intentional channeled anger, it's just you might blow up over something small because you've held in so many big things for so long. So expressing anger is absolutely necessary in certain situations. It's just, hey, I want to be a little bit more intentional with this, or I want to make sure that, you know, the response that generated this anger um matches, you know, versus, you know, somebody, I don't know, changed the meeting time. Uh, you know, they changed the meeting date, and I was planning on today and now they moved it back to tomorrow, or somebody's, you know, 15 minutes late and they're always 15 minutes late, and you just lose it. Whatever little thing kind of causes you to lose it because you weren't having those important and somewhat difficult conversations ahead of time. All right, and then last but not least, deroller, deroller, derailleur for our type nines is the nice person syndrome. Uh the our nine sometimes may come across as allowing others to walk all over them. Um, not having strong leadership skills that are sometimes needed. Sometimes in leadership, you're not always going to be liked. You're not always gonna have um the ability to make decisions that are popular with everybody. You're not always going to have the time or the ability to build consensus, which our nines are so good at. Um, and so there may be times where, you know, the the situation isn't calling for a nice person right now. They are calling for strong, decisive leader that may upset some people, but this is what what's needed here. And so an opportunity for nines is to, you know, channel some of that directness. Um not worry as much about being seen as nice, but rather kind. We talked about clear as kind. Um, so those types of things be thinking about rather than oh, what's what's the nice thing to do? Um, because sometimes the nice thing isn't so nice, you know, you're somebody needs to be given some difficult feedback. You need to share something difficult without humor. Um, and and that is going to be the most productive, the most effective, the most helpful, and probably the most kind versus nice thing that you can do for somebody. All right. So we talked about the five derailers and then how how do you get off track or how do you get back on track? We talked about how you can get off track. How can you get back on track? And I want to say now, I uh these derailers, I want to make sure that we give um, we cite our sources. These derailers come from the awareness to action Enneagram uh framework. And uh we'll I'll I'll link their Enneagram framework in the show notes, like we always do, but I forgot to give credit. Um we normally do that at the beginning. Um, but they have some tips for getting back on track as a type nine. So the first one is finish what you start and take credit for what you do. Uh, this is gonna feel like direct conflict with that type three arrow that you have, striving to feel outstanding. Oh gosh, it feels like being too self-promotional. Um, my work should speak for itself. People should just know the good work that I'm doing. But we know that that's not how the world works, especially in the workplace. Uh, you have to toot your own horn. You have to let people know what you're working on, and you have to let people know what your team is working on. That's gonna make they can feel that can feel really defeating and really frustrating when you, as the team's type nine leaders, are constantly um missing or passing on opportunities to promote your team, to shout out their success. And sometimes that's a really great place to start tooting your own horn, quote unquote tooting your own horn is tooting your team's horn. Look what we did, look what we accomplished this week. We did this. And even if it's you don't feel like, oh, you know, it's not um, it's not the biggest deal in the world, sharing those small wins. I think the rest of the organization or the department or whoever else is in your circle that you're sharing this with would want to know. And then your team's gonna feel really seen and really appreciated when you're doing those things. So don't minimize your contributions or your team's accomplishments and take credit for for what you do. Um, I think a lot of times this will show up like you'll you'll get a compliment um in a meeting and you'll immediately deflect it and say, uh, well, you know, I had a lot of help. Uh it was it was a team effort, and that's okay. That's okay, especially in those leadership positions. But at some point, um, when you're trying to move into that leadership role, you you gotta take the credit. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I did have a lot of help, and thank you for recognizing the effort that I put in. Appreciate that. Um, find your own position. Question whether you are following along with someone else's philosophy, um, or if you are really moving towards talking about what you believe in and you're expressing your ideas, how you really feel. And this isn't just a matter of, oh, I don't want to hold back or I want to hold back. I don't want to speak up and say something uh that might rock the boat. Nines do have a lot of opinions and they have a lot of strong opinions. And they will also say, sometimes I truly don't know. Sometimes I truly don't care, and sometimes I truly don't know how I feel about a situation. So depending on the importance of that situation, it may behoove or it may be a benefit to our type nine to just take a minute uh or say, hey, I'm gonna need a minute to to reflect on how I how I feel about that. Let me, let me, before I say anything, let me let me think about that and I'll get back to you. And that's okay to kind of mull over how you really feel about something, um, and then to take that second step and communicate it. Let's see, getting back on track. Tip two three is ask for what you need and what you want. Believe that you are important enough to get what you want. And I think this goes to that second point that I just made too about first, you got to get in touch with what it is you do want and what it is you do need. Um, I think as sevens, and I'll I guess I'll just speak on on as a seven, um, I relate to a lot of this nine, wanting to avoid conflict, not wanting to rock the boat, wanting to keep things positive, the sandwich mode, you know. So I I it's not just the nines that can struggle with some of these things. Um, and as as a seven, this is one, or just as a human Sarah right here, uh, this can be one that I I really uh struggle with. What what exactly do I really want? Is it okay to want that? Um, am I allowed to want that? Am I allowed to need that? Uh, and so this is a very typical struggle for our type nines too. Before they can even ask for what they want, you got to get in touch with what that is, what it is you do need and want. And then the last way to get back on track here is to address conflict directly. And I know, I know this is easier said than done. Uh, again, as a seven, I get it. I get it. Uh, you know, I don't, I don't want to make anybody feel bad. I want to keep the vibe happy and you know, but there are times where you are actually going to find peace and harmony more quickly if you can move through the conflict right in front of you, if you can just get through the tension that that's right here. So people can handle your assertiveness and they will usually welcome that directness. So don't worry about hurting people's feelings, the way that you're going to share something, um, is you're probably not going to have that problem. And people are going to really at least know where they stand and appreciate knowing where they stand, or maybe you give them a piece of feedback that helps them in their career, uh, along their career path or helps your relationship, or you just are able to remove the tension between you and that other person, and they're gonna be really appreciative of that. And you don't have to be mean about it, whatever mean, you know, might mean to you. Um, I just I think that that saying clearest kind is gonna be a really great mantra for our nines and for those of us who might struggle with speaking directly, especially in in some difficult conversations and ways. So um that is our derailler series, how each type can get off track. If you missed any of them, we got one through eight uh throughout the last few weeks, months. So to check those out, send it to somebody, send it to a coworker, send it to your manager, send it to somebody you lead to have them listen to and then start a conversation about what do you feel like you uh struggle with? How can I help? How can I be a supportive manager, teammate in these situations? Uh, these are the sort of things that we talk about inside of our workshops uh here at Enneagram MBA. So if these are insights and conversation prompts that you are looking for, I'm gonna invite you to check out our workshop options over at EnneagramMBA.com. We just got done with a group and uh I'm sending out their post-workshop report this week. And as I'm looking at the post-workshop feedback, 95% of it said, I liked our group discussions. I like talking with others. I thought the part where people shared about their how they saw their type show up or the their struggles or the different qualities of other types they struggle to understand was really helpful. So in our workshops, yes, we share about the Enneagram, but we also make sure that there is always space and prompts and encouragement to be able to take that Enneagram insight and start to apply it to their specific team or organization dynamic so that they can have those really rich conversations that this team just raved about. They they loved. It wasn't anything that I said, um, nothing specific about the Enneagram. It's just, hey, I really loved learning these insights. And then I really loved being able to have some productive, insightful conversations with my team. So that's what we do with this information. We share the information and then use it to create really rich, meaningful conversations. So uh you can find those options over at Enneagram MBA.com. And with that, thank you so much for being here. And I hope to see you in the next one.