SPEAKER_00 0:00

Our type threes are striving to feel outstanding, wanting to be successful, looking for that successful image, accomplishment. Our type sevens are striving to feel excited, wanting possibilities and options and freedom, looking for the next new idea and adventure. And our type eights are striving to feel powerful, the power to produce a result, wanting to be in control, avoiding vulnerability at all costs. And all three of these types are in what is called the assertive stance or sometimes called the aggressive stance. And today we are specifically looking at these high energy types because there are so many similarities, but there are also some key differences. So we're going to be looking at the dynamic in the workplace between these three, some little nuanced differences. And then we're also going to be looking at these types as a whole, as these kind of more high-energy types and their working relationships with the other six types. And then we are going to talk about in the second half some growth opportunities each of these types have in the workplace to grow as a professional, as a human being, and to better their workplace relationships. This conversation today is co-hosted by Demetrius D. Parker. You might know him more as Dee. Dee is one of our Enneagram MBA visiting faculty. So he will come in and facilitate some of our workshops here. He is also a leadership coach. And then he has his own team training leadership development business called the Trust Leadership Collective. Now, Dee and I had a much longer conversation where we also got into the differences between the three, seven, and the eight. For the sake of time, that section was cut out today. However, if you are still in your typing journey and trying to decide, am I a three or am I an eight? Am I a seven or am I an eight? Am I a three or a seven? Um, that might be helpful to you. It is a bonus episode. So you can find it on your favorite podcast platform. You can find it over on YouTube. Um, but if if you're if you pretty much know where you're at uh with your type, jump into this one. That's available for additional resources if you need it. With that, enjoy this episode with myself and Dee. You're listening to the Enneagram at Work podcast, a show about understanding people at work, including yourself. I'm your host, Sarah Wallace, and I'm looking forward to diving into this week's episode with you. I think seven and eights can work really well together because of the balance of possibilities with realism. And then they both have that like, let's just do it energy, jump in. But I had there was a workshop last year where a seven and an eight were in a mixed type group, and the conversation was around when did we last um misunderstand each other or how do we handle conflict different? And they had just, we were kind of picking on something a little sensitive. There had just been a disagreement the week prior between these two individuals. And they they came out and they they were brave enough to share this with the rest of the group uh during our takeaway session. And the seven said, we had this disagreement and I just wanted to get out of it and I wanted to move on, and I just wanted us to like get back to where we were. So the last week I've been, you know, trying to make jokes and like make sure we're okay without having to have a conversation about if we're okay. And the eight said, I have felt so dismissed and confused. What's going on? Because we had that situation. You walked away, and then like now we're here. And like, I don't we never we didn't talk about it. We're not okay. We didn't talk about it. The seven's like, we're okay, it's in the past. Um, so I thought that was really interesting and um definitely a growth opportunity for a seven to have to lean into those difficult conversations at times. Uh, but is that is that something that you have seen or could could you see happening?

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Well, yeah, well, it's funny you say that because I was just thinking as you were saying that, I was thinking, yeah, and the A's thinking, wow, you're so flaky. You're so flaky.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

You're so flaky is what is what that. Um and I think you know, when you think about each one of those types and and what you're trying to get out of those spaces, um, you know, threes wanting focus. Like, hey, what's this? What how can we focus on this thing? How can we get this thing done? Um, you know, eights trying to provide that that force to get it done. Like just to your point, just do it. Nike, just do it. Just do it. Um, just make it happen. Um And so, I mean, I think with the three of them, I can see where when they're working together, how they could work together. Seven's generating those ideas and possibilities and that energy of you know, yes, we can. Um, and threes having that driving results, and again, not wanting to fail, wanting to win, and managing that image in a positive way. Um, and like I said, and then eight's just bringing in that force and that was like, all right, what do we need to move out the way? Willing to go in and move things out of the way. Um, I think that's where they can work really well together. And then going back to your point, those friction points are when those things come in and sevens are like, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna skip this. Um, and again, I can see where when folks are looking at this, how they can get depending on that layering that we talked about, where they can bring some of that in. Um but yeah, like really they're just really diving into and saying, okay, what what's connecting? What's kicking? Um and how am I am I avoiding um this conversation and why am I why am I avoiding it, which is more like the second. Um and then you know that three going, all right, I'm going to how do I look good at doing that?

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Yes, yes. Okay, so so one of the things that eights will say is frustrating with the three, um, is that they have like a we talk about how they have a little inner inner PR agency. So everything is like, oh, it's it's good. I can spin anything, which can be such a gift, right? Such a, you know, we need that. But then eights who value brutal honesty, realism, like it's like, I don't feel safe if you're spinning this. I don't feel like I can trust you if you're spinning this, or to a seven if you're avoiding this conversation and thinking everything's okay. And so that direct communication can be some friction because I think both of the the three and the seven sometimes struggle with being like, yeah, this just sucks right now. It's like three's like, no, it doesn't suck. It's it'll be great.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Well, yeah, because it will be.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Yeah, I'm gonna take care of it. It will be all be fine. Yeah, this is actually a good thing. It's yeah, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

And and eight, I mean, threes do have to worry about that, right? Three that three strategies we have to worry about if we're coming off. And I and I've gotten this before. Um, fake. Um, I I you know, I t I share the story sometimes in my workshops when I'm talking about um giving feedback. And I remember in a 360 once, I got this uh 360, and you know, they're anonymous.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

And when it said um when it talked about authentic, someone had given me a a decently low score in authenticity. Um and I was like, whoa, like what like and luckily they did put comments because it was this particular tool, you had if you gave a low score, then you had to give a comment to why. And so they said, uh Demetrius, I feel that Demetrius is not authentic because he he's always telling me um what a good job that I'm doing. Right? And I was like, what? He says, but he doesn't tell me what the job is. Like, what is it that I did? He just always says, Great job. You know, love it, love what you're doing, great job. But you know, it's like, but he's not telling me what that thing is. And I remember when I first read it, it was a punch in the gut, and I remember, you know, I did what pretty much everyone does when they, you know, well, I won't say everyone, I don't I don't like absolutes, um, but a lot of people, uh, what a lot of people do, which is, you know, I got offended. I got defensor. I was like, really? So I'm giving you compliments, and so I'm not gonna be. And you're complaining. Um, because I'm thinking about some of my peers who never give compliments. Um and so I'm like, okay. And then I thought about it once I calmed down. I was like, you know what? It does make sense. It would be a lot more impactful if I said, Hey, great job on X. I love the way that you're doing, right? If I if I put some context to that, um, and it would give them direction to know, okay, this is what he likes, and you know, this is what he doesn't like. So I I can see where that can come into play where folks can because the way that we come at things sometimes, folks can take it the wrong way. Um and then we get that label of fate or you know, inauthentic. Um, and especially when it comes to failures. You know, a lot of times we're like, nah, no, no, no. You know, someone's like, tell me the time you failed. I'm like, you know, and I will spin it. And I'll say, Well, I can't tell you the time I failed, but I can tell your time that I learned lessons.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Yeah, your greatest, your greatest weakness. I work too hard. I just I care too much, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

I can't tell you I fail, but I can tell you time that I learned some lessons because that's how I look at you know, yeah. Is if I quit, and there's not too many things that I've ever just quit.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

I might have redirected myself.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

I might have Yeah, the story's not over. It's like this is part of the story, it's not the end. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Yeah. Well, and I I think threes and sevens have a lot, like are very similar in that way. Cause I think a a seven could just as easily probably receive some sort of similar feedback where it's like, you say great job, but like what exactly, you know, it's like it is this is this real. So um there is that that I mean, it's it is kind of vulnerable to admit a failure or to express you're having a hard time or, you know, and um so uh, you know, it it there's a reason behind it, um, but it is it is a tendency that both of these types have. Um one thing that I was thinking, so we're we're talking a lot about the dynamic between these three, but then there's a lot of things that the other types have to say about all three of these types or or sometimes specific. And I don't have a lot. Fours, fives, sevens always say are the fewest types that I see, the least common types that I see. Um, but fours will say, I have a really difficult time with threes. Sometimes they'll even say it about sevens because I just don't know who they really are. Like if they're not like struggling, like it that just seems like, you know, because the fours sometimes is, you know, it's it's fun to struggle. Or it's like, you're gonna give them my budge. Or it's like, well, of course, we're human beings. We're not all gonna be great at all times. Um, so that'll be one where I'll hear some like friction with with a three or a seven. Um, what are some other uh just potential, potential friction points um with some of the other types? Any any standout, any uh specific matchups standout?

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Um, so if you think about, I mean, I think about you know my my next door neighbor, the two, um, the other, the other neighbor, right? Because you thought you said four, which is you know one of my neighbors, but you know, that the two and that strategy, and you know, they want to dive into and talk about all the emotions and all that. And and the one thing that I feel that three sevens and eights have in common is that struggle with vulnerability. And so, you know, being able to be in that space as much when you're partnering with the two, collaborating with the two, in a relationship with the two, um, you know, because emotions is just there. You know, and you're like, ah, sometimes it can be draining. You're like, why I remember coming home sometimes and how was your day?

SPEAKER_00 14:22

I was like, good, real good, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

It was good. Like, yeah, but how did that make you feel? Good. And like, but good is not a feeling. You're like, in my world it is. In my world. Good is a great feeling. Oh, but you know, so I would say that's the space, and then nuns. Oh I think can struggle with all three of these types.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Um, because again, we can be so intense.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Yeah, it feels overwhelming.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

It feels overwhelming. It feels overwhelming. Um and and I would say that's where the Enneagram has it's been helping me a lot. If I'm gonna get can get actually a little vulnerable and personal. Um you know, because I have my older son is a n is, you know, that strategy of nine. And a lot of times trying to work with him and you know, coming in with that that green energy at times. Um like he's in that nine space and he's like, well, dude, we're not clicking. Like it's it's not. Um, and so being able to understand that and step back. Um step back and say, okay, what does that look like? And um, you know, my youngest son who's 10, you know, we don't we don't type, you know, you know, don't know what his type is, but I can tell you now, he's definitely uh definitely in touch with the emotions.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

And there's times where I'm in that daddy space where you know I've asked him not to do something multiple times and he's doing it, and then he gets hurt and he goes, Oh, and I look at him and I do the stereotypical dad thing of well, you know, listen, right? So, but but but what I've learned what I've learned and and and learning to do is because he'll look at me and go, Daddy, empathy first.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Oh, oh, that's so sweet.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Right, empathy first. I'm like, oh like, yeah, you're right, right? You can't say anything, you're like, you're right. Um, so just being in that space, and you know, that helps me a lot to understand because I am coming from that energy of getting things done and and being focused and being efficient and being polished. Um, and that's not where everyone is. Um, and and that's where I feel these three high energy types can rub folks the wrong way.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Yeah. Um, one of the conversation prompts sometimes we'll use in group breakouts is um, you know, what what makes a good meeting? And there'll be some version, some version of like, oh, you know, I love uh collaborating and getting everybody's ideas and bouncing ideas off of each other. Threes, sevens, even eights sometimes will say that. And then a nine will come in and say something along some version of like, it just feels like I'm getting interrupted. But for some of these other types, it's like, oh, I thought we were like vibing. I thought we were like brainstorming over here and like, oh yeah, but we could do this or we could do this. And a nine will say, no, it feels like you're interrupting me, especially because fives, nines, um, just process a little slower. And so if there's just uh, you know, a beat in there, it's like some of these types tend to bounce right into that beat, but it's like, oh no, they need that beat because they're about to say something. It's just they're not gonna speak or necessarily think as fast. Um, and and thinking fast isn't necessarily a good thing, or they might be thinking fast just processing, not not as quick. Um, like I even I even catch myself doing like my thoughts can't don't always catch up with my my speaking. And so it's like I'm thinking and I can't speak as and and there are other types where it's like, well, gosh, they're very thoughtful when they speak, and you know when they speak. And so um I think that can be a frustration on the other end at times, but then I will hear from three sevens eights and they'll sometimes say, Why, why do we have this person like a type nine potentially um in this meeting if they're not gonna say anything? And so a growth is, I mean, you know, we can we'll we'll do a separate episode for button.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I mean, but that's that whole thing, right? That's that whole thing of uh is understanding, you know, the different styles and the you know um ways that folks are are navigating those different strategies and understanding that for some folks they don't need that rapid or they're not gonna be in that rapid mindset. Um which actually I think is a really good segue, which then goes to the next question, and I'll answer this one first, um, which which is um the biggest burnout signal. Oh and so for me it's interesting because a while I didn't really feel like you're gonna go into that three of I don't burn out, like I don't burn out.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yeah, not me.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

I'm an energizer bunny. I can right I I'll make it happen. Um however I'm realizing burnout that signal for me is um when I start to get when I'm working on something and I and it and I'm getting irritated.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Um okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

When I'm getting irritated, like you know, I'm showing up and I want to do it, but I want to get it. Like when I'm when I'm to a point where I'm like, you know what, let's just get this done. Um that's when I realize like, ooh, I think I'm getting burnt out with this. This is it's not, you know. I yeah, I I don't feel like I'm showing up as my best self. And again, thinking about that that piece, you know, I'm I'm I'm edgier, I'm um a bit more curt uh with how I'm answering things and meetings. That's that's what I know. That's not at all like yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

I think I think other threes who are listening are gonna be able to really resonate with that because that's not the first time I've heard some version of that. Um yeah, it's like, yeah, just you get a little irritable. Um don't we all? Um, let's see. I think I, you know, gosh, um I can think uh how I can burn myself out is this feeling of um like cho overwhelm being overwhelmed with choices and options and having so many ideas. And then I feel like I I do have to do them all, and there's not enough time to do them all. And I'm gonna miss out on my one life, and I'm not gonna be able to go to every country, and I'm not gonna be able to have. These experiences, and then I stress myself out so much because I'm not living life to the fullest.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Um and so that's FOMO is your signal.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

FOMO, yes. FOMO. And then I get grumpy too. I get grumpy, I get irritable, I get frustrated. Um it's like, no, we can't have fun right now. There's there's too many fun things to do. We have to go. We have to go do the fun things. We can have fun doing them. Um, so I I I notice I notice that. Um, and I I think that I think that's a a common feeling, maybe from some other sevens they might be able to to relate. Um what do you hear, have you heard anything specific from your eight clients? Um how they experience burnout?

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Um I would say for a couple ones that I know, what I what tends to resonate with them is this space of um they will actually become not only just edgy, but almost more vulnerable. Like almost to tears, like they would almost find themselves coming to tears.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

They've holding it together for so long that it's like you got a breaking point.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, which is very interesting. Oh that's the the space, but that that's what I've seen and heard from that. What about you?

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah, I know I was trying, I was trying to think. Um I I think it's some version of that where it's like maybe they're still move moving, they're still doing, but it's it's not productive um any longer. Um like that that just do it energy, it's like you're kind of going through the motions, but you're not maybe doing it's not moving you forward. Um can sometimes be something. Um, I'm trying, I'm trying to think um of what others have said. Um I think what you said where it's like almost the opposite, and that's what's interesting. It's like almost the opposite of what you read about the you know, the stereotypical seven or the stereotypical three. It's like that, that the opposite of that is kind of how they express that burnout. Um so that that is interesting. Um what was there a question about feeling grounded that you're you were gonna ask? Am I jumping ahead?

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Uh I was, but you go for it. What okay?

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Yeah. Well, what uh so and this one I'm really curious about because um for threes and eights and I and sevens too, there is some sort of growth guidance recommendation around slowing down, enjoy your life. Um, but to your point, what you've kind of said in different ways, it's like, well, why would I want to do that? Why would I want to slow down? Um, and for yeah, for seven, it's like, why would I not want to experience everything that there is to experience in the world? And eight, why wouldn't I want to get things done? Um, so what what's your take on, I don't know, is it slowing down, grounding yourself specifically for the type three?

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Um I think I feel grounded. Oh, what grounds me the fastest is when I'm able to well and you tell me about you know uh okay You tell me Bumbi no. I'll channel my indirectness unless you're but I feel I'm I'm I'm grounded most and fast is when I am working in those projects that really feed like feed my soul, feed, feed my purpose. Um I feel that's when I feel grounded the fastest. Um and when I and when I'm able to truly embrace empathy. So it's it's that and I know that's a weird combination that I just put together, but you know, like I think about like when when I'm able to be in that space and understand and bring all those different spaces together, so bringing to be in a space doing but also having the emotional tie to that. Um I feel even just talking about it, I feel this lightness um that then I'm like, yeah. And and and then of course that and also that grounding and energizers being the behavior to move forward.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

I think I I I think threes can be so incredibly empathetic when they get to that that this point because they can empathize with how much pressure you know they put on themselves. And so, you know, they're able to say, I know, you know, this this like self-battle that you're you're going up against, or I know what it's like to fail when you've worked so hard. And um, so I I mean threes can't, they're not known for it in the stereotypical version of a three, but I I think that they can be incredibly empathetic and because they've lived that. And so when they see somebody else struggling, it's like, oh man, I I've been there and I know that sucks, or that's hard to get through. That's hard not to let it, you know, make it mean something about who you are as a person.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

So uh yeah, no, it's as you say that, I I think it's really that going from doing to being. Um which you know just being honest, I always want to come back to the doing. But if I'm actually being in the moment and and celebrating what it is that I'm doing and and being able to be authentic, authentic in that space. I think that's the yeah, yeah. That helps a lot. What about you? What about the seven?

SPEAKER_00 28:38

You know, I I think this is one of those other things where it's like, oh yeah, you know, be more thoughtful, slow down, you know, ground yourself in meditation or, you know, and I think, and I'm kind of in the middle of this, so we'll come back, you know, see how how true this is later. But um, I think where I'm at is I need to feel like I have used up my energy for the day for me to sleep well. And I have really been struggling with that um because a lot of the work that I do is on a laptop. Um, and I've just most recently been craving like more like physical labor, um, which or not labor, but just to to do something, unpack boxes or you know, I don't know. And so where I'm at with it to feel grounded is not to say, well, slow down, sit still, you know, be mindful, meditate, which I think there is some things I I could take on from meditation. I'm sure that there is some benefits. But I think it's like, okay, well, maybe, maybe my version of this, maybe other sevens can resonate with this, is you know what? Quit, you know, pontificating over this new idea for work. Just let it sit for a minute. Like, don't try and like create a business plan, write a book in one day. Um, just let it sit there and then go be active in some other way. Um, go run, go rearrange the garage, go clean out the base, you know, do something. And so that's where I'm trying, that's my version of being thoughtful is like, okay, uh, let's not overthink this, this thing on paper, this thing on my computer screen, or and and just step away and do something different, ideally, like with my hands or you know, my body, my energy doing doing something.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

No, it's it's funny. I was just I was just thinking, um, taking an energy, you know, that restless energy, and maybe you said run, but I was even thinking about just go on a nature walk.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Right? Just go on a nature walk and just you know, release that energy in a in a different way.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Um yeah, I walk every morning, and that's one of the reasons why. Like, I I wish I could just be like, all right, let's get your work. But it's like, no, I need to, I need to like shake it out or something before I can sit down.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Yeah, walk it out.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

That could be your that could be your theme, so walk it out.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Walk about it, yeah, yeah. So, and that's that's probably, yeah, there's probably some version um of that for an eight too. Cause I I think it's really hard. It's kind of like, well, just relax. It's like, oh, right, why didn't I think of that? I'll just relax. Um, but it's like, well, what can you do? Um, like I know one eight was talking about kind of similar to what I just said, but they'll um they'll go hiking. And it's like, I'm still thinking about work or I'm still thinking about this issue, and I'm I'm putting together how I'm gonna do it, but I'm I'm kind of letting it breathe, but I'm I'm still doing something. It's really hard for me to just put my feet up and binge watch a Netflix series. Like I need to be moving and and doing things, is what I hear a lot from AIDS. I need to be doing things, but it doesn't always have to be for work or it doesn't have to produce, you know, a result necessarily. It could just be like what you're saying, like for fun, a hobby, walking.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Well, it's funny you say that because for me, it's if I was thinking about it, what I would share with AIDS, and that also actually find this also helps me. Um, that's my eight energy in that space, which is when I go to gym. Um and I do a weight workout, but I also make sure that I do some like stretching breadth work afterwards, right? That that tends to be a good way. I I definitely can tell the mood difference that I'm in, and that's one of the things I think we talk about a lot is uh trust leaders of collective with that human 360 mindset, which is you know, taking those types of things in and and understanding that um and making a time for it, which I would tell you as a three is the hard part is to be like, well, it's other things I want to do. But how to try to bring that in as a part of that doing is doing it yourself and taking care of self.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

So yeah, so I that's what I would probably share with you know, those eights out there is you know, some type of, and again, it doesn't have to be crazy weight lifting, um just something that's still getting you out there and and taking care of yourself. Um I think it's important.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Yeah, I I agree. I um I you know, I used to try and cut these out. I don't know if I people can hear it, but we got the male man and now the dog is on guard duty, but we also had babies cry and we just, you know, we're just we're family friendly here. So yeah, it's life. It's life. Yeah, that that that is interesting. And um, I know we had kind of talked about how to how to slow down without losing momentum. And so I think sometimes the that narrative for all three of these types needs to be shifted a little bit or has an opportunity to be shifted where it's like slowing down doesn't necessarily mean you don't get to your goal faster um or as fast. It's like because sometimes you might actually get there faster because you're well rested, you're taking care of yourself. Yeah, to all those points. So um that that is probably a opportunity for growth for all of them. Should we should we just really quickly, as as we kind of start to wrap up, leave listeners with some maybe tangible ideas to explore if they resonate with one of these three or if they are leading or working next to one of these three, maybe looking at the growth opportunities through the lens of the arrows.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Okay. So threes connected to the six and the nine. And there's opportunity. Some I I love how um some people will call them resource points. And I really like that term because it's like we can dip into that. I think you use that too, that phrase. Um, and I and I love that. And of course, we can dip into all nine and and pull something valuable. It just depends on what you want to work on the most. And typically it's a great starting point for a three who struggles with slowing down to channel some of that nine, going with the flow, allowing things to happen. And then the the six being a little bit more kind of team-centered, bringing others along their success path. Um, what what would you add to that? Anything else you would add to that for threes to keep in mind?

SPEAKER_02 36:04

Yeah, I would say, you know, also in that sixes with the slowing down and is that piece of um coming from the sixth phase, which is um I guess you kind of say that with the teams and collaborating, but also being prepared. Right, and and thinking about what's needed in that space to be successful, what is that gonna look like? Um I think that I think kind of tapping into that, I think is also important. Um and and from the non-space, you know, sometimes borrowing from that, hey, I don't I don't need to make I don't need to have all the answers right now. I don't need to have all the answers right now. I'd be I and I would probably say when I talk when I say that meaning I can go with the flow.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

Go with the flow.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

I want to ask you something real quick before we move on. So they they'll sometimes call the type six the neglected strategy or the type that a three will resist the most. And it's because sixes are striving to feel safe and secure. That's like, let's go with the status quo, let's go with the proven method. It's okay to blend in. Um, whereas we have the threes striving to feel outstanding, that's almost in direct conflict. Yeah. What what's your what's your personal kind of relationship with with that energy? Any any just specific story, any any growth opportunities within that specific piece of it?

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Oh no, I will say I feel uh I guess the work term I'm gonna use is somewhat blessed in that space of that. Um I find myself actually tapping into that a lot more. Um, and maybe some of that is is age and wisdom. Um it's age and wisdom, but I I find myself sharing more about my limits. Um and you know, relying on others and and those kinds of things. So um that's what I will say. Part with that is is is find that serenity and people to do that. Um almost actually I guess when I think about it, humility. To say, you know what? What's that with that uh is in that movie? It's like I got it, I got it, I got it, I don't got it.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

You know, and just and and and finding that space to say, I I don't got it, and what do I need to do to get it? Um, because I'm gonna get this done. And if I can take that time to your point, if I can take that time to figure that out and have that mindfulness and intentionality, um it actually does get me there quicker because I'm not making mistakes that I didn't have to go back and fix.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

And and I share that with a lot of or a lot of when I'm coaching and when I'm working with organizations, a lot of times they're like, well, we want to be efficient. And I'm like, yeah, but are you really being efficient if you're multiple multiple times you're going back and you're fixing things that if you would have just taken the time to figure it out first, and that's it would cost you less.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Well, it's like you're calling me out with reading directions, instructions for putting things together. I'm like, we don't we don't need these. This extra piece of paper, we'll figure it out it's intuitive. I can figure it. I'm like, dang it, it's backwards. This piece is backwards. Now this is screwing. Yeah. So yeah, that's a great point. Um, and and to that, I just wanted to say one more thing because I know that um there there is just, I mean, the the the stereotype, what a lot of times what you'll see about a three is that they are high strung or they are, you know, all of these things that we've talked about today. But just to what you said, because of age, life events, just wisdom over the years, they can also be really chill. Um, I just had a three say, you know, I I don't know if I'm a three anymore because like now all I want to do is have my start a chicken farm and like have be really excellent at collecting eggs and having these chickens and create like this little barn for them. And it's like I still care about my career. It's just there's other things I want to have. And I think that it's like, oh wow, okay, well, this is a very specific picture of growth for someone like a type three who tends to be so focused and honed in on work success that it's like, oh, you can have you can do you can channel some of that energy um to something like raising chickens. And and that can be really fun and life-giving as well. Human being, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah, I mean, I yeah, the thing came to mind just now as you say that is I I don't have to perform to be valued.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

I I so threes if you can if you can just embrace that, right? Understand that we don't have to perform to be valued. We can just stand without people, we can just be on the sidelines and and watch it for a while, um, and not feel like we we have to be in the game all the time.

SPEAKER_00 41:42

Yeah, yeah, that's that's such a good one. Um, so sevens. So their resource points are the one and the five, and um, the five tends to be the one that they resist the most or neglect the most with that um slowing down, being more thoughtful before you take action, um, being okay in solitude and silence. Um, and that can be incredibly uncomfortable. Um sometimes for a seven. Um, but like we've been talking about today, there can also be a lot of growth in that to, you know, be less of that shiny object scattered, um, a new idea every hour, stereotype of a seven. Um, so I I I definitely think about that often. Um I think about it a lot when I'm speaking, not as much today during this episode, you know, but um about like just slowing the tone down, slowing the pace down even something as as minute as that. Um saying things like, you know, I'm not sure yet, let me get back to you. Um, because I don't know if this is a three thing two, but I want to be like, oh, I want to have an answer that is, you know, that is good news. Sure, I can do it. And it's like, oh, shoot, I can't, or that's I'm not, I don't have time, or I don't know how to do that. So just being like, do is this something I really even want to do? Um, before like, do I even want to have dinner with you? And actually, no, I've thought about it and no, I don't. So um, before I say yes and then have to cancel, you know, trying to say, let me think about it. I'll get back to you. And then for the one, kind of channeling some of that discipline, structure, commitment, processes to bring these new ideas to life, I think about that a lot as well. And it's interesting because when I'm doing my kind of stressed out, burned out vibes, I mean, I get really, I get the opposite of chill. I I am like a really um annoying type one where I'm like, it's supposed to be this way. We're supposed to have fun this way. Um, this trip, this vacation was supposed to be this. So uh I I can also kind of overuse some of those as well. But um yeah, I I I think sevens, there's a lot of opportunity, not to again necessarily strive to be perfect, but how can you bring in the strengths of the seven and the five to help make your life more exciting because you're accomplishing things, because maybe you're actually having more meaningful relationships, um, because you're you're slowing down, or a relationship with yourself, or um, you know, so I I I those are those are the two that sound like a snooze fest initially, but it's like, oh dang, that's exactly yeah, that's what I need. I need to hear that.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

I I'll share this with you there. Just just keep this in mind, especially when I think about um that one, which is um freedom thrives. Um, freedom thrives with structure.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Mm-hmm. Yes. Think about that. Yeah, there's some kind of quote, and I'm always thinking about that.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

Yeah, right. Freedom, freedom thrives with structure. And so if you can because if you have that, then you have the freedom to be like, okay, I know, I know how to build this, and I don't have to tell it.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:19

It's okay to read the it's it's okay to read the instructions.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

Yeah. Well, because what happens is when you don't have that, you're still not getting things done because then it becomes overwhelmed. You're overwhelmed with the options and possibilities.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

And then you end up doing something else, and then it's just sitting there.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

Yeah, and then it's just sitting there. So yeah, I think that's that's great advice. Um, I'm probably not the only seven that needs that, but I I definitely, I definitely need that reminder. Um, what about for our eights? So our eights are connected to the type two, striving to feel connected, and the type five also, which is striving to feel detached. And sometimes the eights will, once they've kind of tapped out their type eight burnout symptoms, they'll actually, they say, kind of take on some of the stress behaviors of a type five and kind of withdraw and retreat. But there's also a lot of benefits that they can use for the good. And in that like recovery, slowing down a little bit, similar to the seven.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

Um, I'll let I'll let you kind of jump in so I don't have to open this, but so when you talked about when you said step back, I was thinking about that stepping back in a positive way can help them to re-energize and and and like the seven, think about a strategy versus just powering ahead because you know you can, but actually having a strategy, and that strategy to me can be a powerful action, uh, or just as powerful as action, right? To be like, okay, what is this gonna look like? And then so yeah, so that's what I would say, probably with the five, and then if I think about that two, um as eight again, like the rest, like the seven and threes who don't necessarily like to be vulnerable, but happening into that that two space and and actually showing some care, which I think do is just in a totally different energy.

SPEAKER_01 47:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

Um but really embracing and and sometimes that strength is even magnified when it's it's coupled with care. When I know that you're doing this because you care and not because you're trying to control me.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

I think it's so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 47:44

Um so, real quick story. Um, there was another group that was that we did a closing activity where everybody shared a strength that they saw in a teammate. And um, we were broken out by teams, and so the team leader uh was a type eight. Um, and we didn't really talk about that, but I have seen whenever we do team mapping or team plotting, it's it's interesting how much of the leadership team is a three, eight, and then how often it's the sixes, the nines, the twos are on are the ones being led. Not to say that they can't be leaders. It's just in my experience, corporate America, I see that dynamic a lot. So there's a lot of just relationship friction potential just right, you know, between leadership and and the rest of the team right there. But the team had said, we love, yeah, sometimes he can be intimidating, but I know that he cares so much. And when we have a problem, I feel so comfortable going into his office, telling him like what's going on. And I know that he's gonna have my back, that he's gonna go to bat for me. And that feels so good to have that like directness and assertiveness, like being supported by that rather than like having that come at me, which at times maybe it, you know, it's it's warranted. But I thought, oh my gosh, what a great, what a great compliment. Um, because eights really are really do take care of their people. It takes a while to get in to be one of their people, but when you're in there, they they have so much empathy and care and want to be connected um to their people. So a lot of things in a type two that you might you might think of as a type two, eight eights can also have it just it's gonna take a little bit longer to to see some of that, or if ever, depends on if you get in or not.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

Well, there is that, and and you know, but yeah, I I worked for I've worked for actually a co-h, but um, this one eight really stands in mind, and what we're just what you were just talking about really resonates, which is uh how much she would do to take care of her people. But because she didn't want to look weak, again, just the energy and intensity that she would do it with, a lot of times people didn't really that care didn't resonate. The care didn't resonate um all the time because I just it wasn't it wasn't the what, it was the how. Oh what do you think? How do you want to wrap this up? What do you want what what words of wisdom do you want to lead with?

SPEAKER_00 50:26

Uh, you know, I think that sometimes with these types, um, we can we can harp on the way that they overuse their strengths, some of what this intensity can be really overwhelming. Um, and of course, we all have our baggage. There's things that we all need to work on. Um, but I I I think I want to leave it on no surprise, a positive note. Um, and and that we need this energy on a team, just like we need the thoughtfulness of a five or the questions of a six, or that um anxiety-reducing calm energy that the nine will sometimes bring. Um, we, you know, we need it all in different situations. And there is a lot of forward movement, making things happen, experiencing life, allowing people to come along and enjoy the things that they're doing. And um, it can be really inspiring to be around a three, a seven, or an eight. You can, you know, be open to possibilities instead of what might go wrong, what might go right. Um, I might actually be successful. I can do this. And so uh just, you know, for our three, seven and eights who sometimes feel beat up. I'll sometimes all three of them have said, uh, especially eights, will say, I feels like you're picking on me. It feels like these are the harshest overused strengths uh out of all of them. So um, you know, that's debatable, but um, there is so much um good and so much that is is needed from from three sevens and eights on a team in the work that we do with their families, with their friends. And so, you know, just just also remember all the strengths that you bring and and channel those um, you know, in a in a grounded way, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

Yes, I I wholeheartily agree. And as you say, in that grounded way, um it makes me think about so I used to run track and I ran long distance and um cross country long distance and and one of the things I remember is um you don't have to sprint the whole race to win it. Right? Like if I sprinted the whole time, I you're not gonna win it, yeah. I'm not gonna win it, right? And so you know, and I think about that, I think about you know money in those races. That's that's how I was able to, you know, place or win is the you know, I I could not sprint the whole.

SPEAKER_00 53:03

Um you're moving forward, you're just maybe not speed. Yeah, you don't got the NOS boost on at all times.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:14

So that's that's great advice. All right. Well, listeners, if you happen to identify with the 378 and have any additional strengths or way that uh you see this show up in your team dynamics, let us know. Or if you happen to work with the 37 and 8 and want to want to shout out um uh the positive impact they make on on your team, let us know. We can do that anonymously, or we can do it, you know, actually shout them out, let us know. Um, enneagrammba.com forward slash contact. And then I do just want to put a plug in as teams are kind of closing out the year. It's I mean, it's almost September. People are planning their end of year off-site retreats. They're also starting to plan their um new year kind of goal setting for 2026 experiences. Dee and I both do facilitating um anywhere from you know half day, full day. And so we can uh talk about specific workshops programming to help your team kind of close out the year or to set the stage for um a wonderful, grounded yet successful 2026. So um, you can check out those workshop options over at Enneagram MBA.com. Thanks for doing this, Dee. This was fun. And uh listeners, thanks for being here.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

Take care.