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221. How Enneagram Type 3s Can Give More Effective Feedback at Work
•Enneagram MBA
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Type 3s are probably the most comfortable type when it comes to giving feedback: direct, efficient, and genuinely invested in bringing people along toward success. But that same drive that makes feedback feel natural can also cause it to miss the mark. In this Starting Monday episode, we're breaking down three things Type 3s should keep doing and three things worth reconsidering, so your feedback actually lands.
What You'll Hear in This Episode
Type 3s are wired to go far and go fast. That energy is an asset in feedback conversations...until it isn't. When efficiency skips the human element, even the most well-intentioned feedback can feel abrupt, harsh, or like a performance management move rather than genuine investment. This episode walks through small but meaningful tweaks that can make your feedback land the way you actually intend it to.
3 Things to DO as a Type 3 When Giving Feedback
Lead with genuine belief in their potential. You already see what people are capable of. Make sure they know that before you get into the issue. That context changes everything about how the feedback is received.
Be direct and specific about what needs to change and what success looks like. This comes naturally to you, so keep leaning into it. Bonus: ask what success looks like for them too. When you can align your definition of success with theirs, the feedback becomes something you're both working toward together.
Keep it future-focused. Type 3s naturally have a "jump and the net will appear" mentality, bring that same energy to feedback. Frame the conversation around where you're headed, not just what went wrong. That forward-facing message is more motivating for the other person and honestly more natural for you.
3 Things to AVOID as a Type 3 When Giving Feedback
Rushing through the emotional part to get to the action items. Even a simple "I know this might be hard to hear..." creates space for the other person to feel like you get them, not just manage them. Emotions that come up aren't a detour. They're often important information.
Assuming everyone else loves direct feedback as much as you do. Some types, think 2s, 9s, maybe 7s, need a little more relational cushioning before they can actually hear what you're saying. A small amount of rapport-building upfront makes the feedback that much more effective. It's not a waste of time. It's what makes the directness work.
Delivering feedback in passing. The hallway-between-meetings efficiency instinct is real for Type 3s, but what feels like getting it done can feel like an ambush to the other person. Give feedback its own space, even if it's brief, so it can actually move the needle.
A Phrase to Try
"I'm telling you this because I think you have what it takes, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that."
Put it at the beginning, the end, or both. It signals exactly why you're having this conversation, and for a Type 3, that's genuinely true.
Resources + Next Steps
1) Have something to add? If you're a Type 3 and want to push back, validate, or add something to the list (or if you work with a Type 3!) and want to share what you appreciate about how they give feedback, we'd love to hear from you at enneagrammba.com/contact.
2) If you want to keep building your leadership communication by type, grab the Enneagram Manager's Prompt Pack, a practical, downloadable guide organized by real workplace situations so you always know what to say and how to say it. Find it at enneagrammba.com/resources.
Enneagram MBA is a team training and leadership development company based in the Louisville metro area. We help organizations build self-aware, high-performing teams, using insights from the Enneagram.
Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, and you are listening to one of our new segments, Starting Monday, which is a mini-episode, probably type specific, and ideally something that you can take and run with as soon as Monday and actually start using what you learn about, whether it's yourself or somebody on your team that is this type that we're talking about. And so today, our starting Monday episode is on feedback specifically with the type three, and specifically about how they can give better feedback. And um we're gonna talk about three things to consider doing and three things to consider avoiding. Now, as always, this is not the end-all be all list, and this isn't gonna be 100% true 100% of the time. So if there is something that you would maybe underscore and validate, or something that you would disagree with, or something that you would add as a type three, I always love to hear from you. So please share anything that you think the our listeners would also benefit from from knowing over at enneagrammba.com forward slash contact. And then if you happen to not be a three, but work for a three or work with a three and want to share something that you really appreciate, in this case about how they communicate and give feedback, I would also love to hear that. So in the spirit of being short and sweet, let's get into it. We will have a, I guess a part two to this at some point around um receiving feedback as a type three. So a little bit different. Um, some things to keep in mind as a type three receiving feedback. But today is if you are a type three, some things to keep in mind when you are giving feedback. Now, as a reminder, our type threes are striving to feel outstanding. And it makes sense then, because of that, uh, that they are probably one of the more comfortable types when it comes to giving feedback. It tends to be direct, efficient, and and you genuinely want to bring people along this path of success that you are working towards. But just kind of keep an eye on that tendency to go far and go fast through these sometimes difficult or awkward conversations that you skip kind of the human element, the emotional piece that will most likely come along with this. Because not everybody's gonna process feedback the way that you most likely do with this type three energy. Um, what feels like efficiency to you might feel abrupt or possibly even harsh to the person on the receiving end. So if your goal is to actually help people grow and change, then considering these things, even if it's not your preference, even if it doesn't come natural, but considering these other ways of giving feedback, might help that feedback land better and that person grow more and be able to change and get to that level of success that you know that they're capable of, that you want for the team, that you want for yourself ultimately. So you might need to do some things out of your comfort zone or that feel like it's not worth the time in order for someone else to feel like you get them, you understand them, you're in their corner versus just trying to manage their performance. Okay. Um, again, with all of these, these these things that you might struggle with, and also the things that you're good at tend to make sense when we look at that core motive, striving to feel outstanding. Okay, so with that in mind, here are some things to make sure that you are doing um as a type three, giving feedback to others. So one is to lead with that genuine belief in their potential, and you naturally see what people are capable of, and that is such a gift. I think type twos can also be really good at this. Um, I will talk about this when we get to that one, but we do have a coffee mug for our type twos that says bringing out the best in people, and they really do. And type threes have a very similar ability to do that. The reason behind it is different, but that ability is the same. And so make sure that you know you already kind of see that potential. And so make sure that the person on the receiving end feels like that, like you you see that in that they know that you see that potential in them before you dive into the issue. The second thing to consider doing, if you're not already, is that directness and specific sp specificity, there we go, um, about what needs to change is most likely going to come natural to you. And you want to make sure that you're doing that, that um it's it's clear, it's it's uh simple ideally, and around what needs to change and even what success looks like for you. I also think it could be kind of interesting to ask what success looks like for them, so that ideally, ideally by the end of this conversation, you are positioning this feedback as a way to both meet your definition of success and their definition of success. So you give um really great feedback when it is tied to a clear outcome, a goal, um, or or just something that you can measure. So you're already good at this, just keep leaning into that. And then the third do, and I would say this is probably another kind of keep doing type of thing, is to keep the feedback forward focused, future focused. Um type threes tend to already have a mentality of I want to go far, I want to go fast, jumping and believing the net will appear, type of energy. And so keep that same mentality when you're giving this feedback and frame the conversation around where you and this individual, where you and the team, maybe where you and the organization they are headed, um not just continuing to wallow and what they did wrong, because that future focused message is going to be more motivating for them and honestly probably more natural for you. Okay. Um, now some things to consider avoiding. And I know you're not gonna like this. I know you're not you probably won't like any of these. Um, but I'm gonna ask you to keep an open mind again so that you can reach your ultimate goal of helping that person change and grow. And so one thing to consider avoiding or just reflecting on, honestly reflecting on if you do, is rushing through the emotional part of these feedback conversations just to get to the action items. So it might even be worth saying, hey, I know this might be hard to hear. Da-da-da-da-da. Um, but that kind of lets you know, hey, I know this isn't easy, but the intention of this conversation is that so that we can get here. So let's do that. Um, and if they have some emotions that they're they that might come up with this, just allow that to happen. Obviously, you don't have to allow them to, you know, wallow in it necessarily, but um, there may be some difficult feelings that come up based on this feedback that they might want to express or have um want you to know about, or maybe are having and might be trying to hide from you, but it could be important information. So um just be aware of how much you're you're rushing through that initial really human part of this conversation just to get to the to-do list. Um the second thing to reflect on and potentially avoid is assuming that everyone else shares your love and appreciation for direct feedback. Now I think our eights are probably gonna love this, probably our ones, probably our fives a little bit more. Um, but some types, and I'm thinking, again, not all the time, every time, but tendencies of maybe like a two, a nine, maybe even a seven, um might need a little bit more relational comfort, uh cushioning, a little buffer. So just kind of know that skipping it will maybe not land, that cause that feedback not to land the way that you want it to. So you might need to do a little bit of rapport building, a little bit of um just kind of finessing the delivery depending on who's in front of you. And again, I know that though you won't love to hear that or you might feel like it's a waste of time. Um, but believe me, that feedback is going to be that much more effective and efficient if you can find a way to deliver it in a way that they can they can hear more easily if they don't have that appetite for direct feedback uh like you do. And then the last thing to consider avoiding is delivering feedback in passing or maybe in between tasks or in between meetings. Um again, our our type threes want to go far and they want to go fast. They want to be efficient. So it makes sense that you're just passing somebody in the hallway and uh, you know, real quick, hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna be efficient here. That efficiency instinct can can kick in. Um, and that might feel like, okay, I said what I needed to say, I gave the feedback, we're so that was sufficient, we can move on. Um, but the other person might feel maybe taken aback, maybe ambushed, surprised, it might come across as harsh. And then again, that feedback doesn't land or move the needle like you intended it to. So just some things to keep in mind that may go against your natural tendencies and preferences. But if you can tweak those a little bit to match the person who's receiving this feedback, it can actually go be much more effective. So, kind of overall, um, I have a phrase for each of these types that might help that feedback land that you could say in the beginning, or you could wrap it up with and make sure they heard, or or both. And so you could say something as a three because you do, this is true for you. You could say, listen, I am telling you this feedback because I think you have what it takes. Again, these threes can have a have a natural tendency to see the potential, the possibility for success and growth with their people's. You know, I'm telling you this because I think you have what it takes. And I don't want anything to get in the way of that. You know, I want to help you get out of your own way, remove these obstacles, whatever it might be. So um, that might be a phrase you work in somehow in your own words at the beginning or at the end or both, um, just to let people know, you know, why you're giving this feedback. So again, if this was at all helpful, I hope that you will share your additional insight over at Enneagram MBA.com forward slash contact. And then as a reminder, these are the type of conversations, the type of insights that we are sharing, discussing, and talking about how to apply within all these other teams in the real world. And so I'm gonna invite you, if you have not yet been through one of our Enneagram introduction workshops or you have and are looking for an in-depth, um, more kind of application-based workshop experience, I'm gonna invite you to look at our website and our options over there at EnneagramMBA.com. And with that, I appreciate you listening and I hope to see you back in the next one.
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