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Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. And today we are getting into another coworker chemistry matchup where we're going to be looking at our Enneagram type one, Striving to Feel Perfect, and our Enneagram Type 6, Striving to Feel Secure. And this particular episode came from a listener request. So thank you so much for listening to the show and for taking the time to share your recommendation or your request. I love to hear from you. I want this podcast to be useful and beneficial and practical in the real world. So anything that, any ideas that you have as a listener that you think could could contribute to that goal, I'd always love to hear from you. The best way to get in touch on podcast topics and ideas is just over on our contact page, enneagramba.com forward slash contact, where you can leave a comment, a suggestion, uh, share a question. And um if you're listening for the first time, welcome. I'm glad you're here. I hope to have you back. And if you're a repeat listener, you probably have heard me say if you have any real world experience as this type or that type, or a manager or peer that's that type, um, share your experience. And that is the place to do that as well. So I'll extend that offer, I'm sure, at the end of today's episode as well. Um, we have covered our type one and type two co-worker chemistry matchup, kicking off this new season kind of series, which will be quite a long series. Uh, we will be mixing it up. We won't just go through all the type one uh matchup, for example, but I did want to I did want to get to this one since it was a specific request. So looking at the coworker chemistry as a reminder, our type one starving to feel perfect, um, very kind of compelled, motivated to do things right. They have a strong internal compass, high standards. Um, they also have a very loud, relentless, at times harsh inner critic. Um, and they kind of believe if everyone just followed the rules and did their best work, the world would be a better place. We'd all just get along. Um, underneath that thinking, though, is this fear that either themselves or the world around them is just kind of inherently flawed. And um that that can be a worry that they're not good enough, that they won't, you know, get it right. Um, our type six striving to feel secure. I and I will mention our type one leadership style, according to the awareness to action Enneagram terminology, is called the administrator. And our type six leadership style is known as the guardian. And our sixes are motivated by safety, security, and certainty is a really big one for our type sixes. Um, they too are incredibly hardworking, very dependable, um, really focused on group cohesion, but they're wired, I shouldn't say, but, and they're wired to anticipate problems, kind of question authority at times and scan for what might go wrong. You know, there are some of us that have this mentality, what might go right? What are the possibilities? And then there are others that what might go wrong, what do we need to look out for? Um sometimes that can get dubbed as kind of pessis being pessimistic, over overly skeptical or negative. But I think when you really understand a six, you you can truly see how much they care for you, for the team, the organization with those questions and sometimes that pushback. Um, underneath a lot of that is this fear that they can't trust themselves or the world around them. So these two have several things in common. And out of the type one um matchups, one through nine, or I guess two through nine in this case, um, I see one and six having the most overlap and the most struggle among the groups that I work with, as far as am I a one or am I a six? Or oh, I just feel so tied to both of them. And so that that can be a struggle. Um one of the one of my favorite Enneagram books is called The Art of Typing by Ginger Lapid Bagda. And she matches up and kind of gives the differences between each type. And she has two points here that I really um think about quite a lot and will go back to and reference the differences between a one and a six. And one of them is that she says that both can worry about what might go wrong and getting it right. But once a one has a plan in place, they can that worry lessens a little bit. Whereas a six will probably continue to worry about, will that plan actually work? And so they end up worrying before, like the one, during, and then also after, like, did we do it right? So um that can sometimes be a distinction, you know. Once I have a plan in place, does that comfort me? Do it, does that reduce my anxiety and my worry or or not? Um, and then the other one that I often will refer to is around getting it right. So typically a type one believes there is one right way to do something because of a process, a law, a procedure, a proven method. Um, whereas a six believes there's multiple options and then can um their worry then turns to each one kind of has their pros and cons. And so uh that can cause some paralysis analysis uh with our sixes because well, we could do it this way or we could do it this way, or we could do it this way. Whereas a one is gonna be a little bit more certain. And and we'll talk, we'll touch on that. That's coming up um in just a minute, too. Um, let's see, was there another one? I think those were the the two. So if if you are still struggling between these two, maybe that will give you some clues. Um, but hopefully as we go through this, you'll you'll start to see some differences, some key differences. Um, if you're struggling between, am I this type or that type? And then also just kind of the the inner workings of this coworker dynamic. So we have, um I think in in the last show we talked about the one and the two, where the one is kind of the one that holds the standard, and the two is the one that holds the group together. In this case, we have the one who's holding the standard, and then we have the six who is holding the team accountable to reality. So sometimes our ones can be incredibly visionary and believe that the world can be a you know a better place, you can be better, I can be better, the team can be better, the organization, the community, the world can be better. Um, and sixes, there it's not that they don't believe that, they might have some questions. They might say, Well, what, you know, but um what what about this? Have we thought about this to get to that better? So they are very um tethered to reality, and they are not typically living in possibility land, which you you need a little bit of both at times depending on the situation. Um, so that that's something to kind of think about. Um now the strengths of this duo can be incredibly power, powerful, and very complimentary. Um they they genuinely make a really great team dynamic, um, coworker dynamic, I guess. One is, let's see, I have one, two, three, four, five um strengths of this pairing for you. One is that they both have a shared commitment to doing it right. I mean, that's I think for our type ones, that's probably a no-brainer, but the sixes too very much uh care about getting it right. They are both going to take their work seriously. Most likely, neither one is going to cut corners or let something slide. Uh, this pair really produces great work. It's thorough, uh, it's reliable, it's gonna be high quality. Uh, another great strength of these two working together is built-in quality control. Ones bring that standard, like we mentioned. And then sixes, we mentioned earlier, have that, you know, based in reality kind of thing. And so they're gonna bring the those important questions, kind of poking holes, like let's do this pressure test on this idea, the what if. They're gonna bring the what if questions um that maybe that standard or that proven method, that proven process might have missed. Maybe there's a gap in it. So together they're gonna be really good, uh, exceptional even at risk management, um, and and making sure that this plan is good to go before taking off. They both are deeply loyal and have uh can be counted on to follow through. Both types are known as being um very dependable, putting the group first. We don't talk a lot about it here at Enneagram MBA because we do follow the Enneagram, um, the awareness to action Enneagram, and and they don't talk a lot about it, but there is a concept out in the Enneagram world, which I do find value in. I I think it just um it can get a little complicated in the beginning of your Enneagram education and then trying to apply things, but there is a grouping where the ones, the twos, and the sixes are all in the same group around, excuse me, um, dependability, group cohesion, very much um aware of what might be good for me. Excuse me, um I'm gonna put that aside and I'm going to do what's best for the group. And then the next one is around similar values when it comes to the workplace. Ones are typically typically gonna operate from a place of principle. Um both have a strong sense of right or wrong. Sixes are gonna operate from that place of you know, kind of loyalty to the group, to the team. Anybody can be loyal, but sixes do have a special strength for being able to bring a group together, get everybody to work together. Um, and it and it has to do with this awareness and it comes back to that core core feeling of feeling secure, but they're very aware of kind of inner, inner working relationships of a group, role clarity, who's doing what, how is this gonna impact somebody? And so it really is such a gift, but it goes back to if I understand what's going on here in the group, I can feel safe and secure in this dynamic. Um, so both, though, have uh very similar values when it comes to working on a team. And when their values align, this can be one of the most dependable, trustworthy duos on any team. And then the last one that I have here is a is around uh preparation, contingency planning as a love language. So both are gonna show up, they're gonna be ready, they're gonna be prepared, meetings are gonna be thoroughly thought through, well planned, contingencies considered, nothing's gonna fall through the cracks. What a powerful duo right there. Now, there may be some friction at times. And uh, let's see, I think I have five potential friction points. Again, it doesn't mean that this will happen. It doesn't mean these are the only points of friction, but here are some things that could happen between this duo that could cause some friction. So one of them is, and these this section could also be helpful if you're still kind of stuck between am I this or that? So one uh point of complication at times might be around the one certainty and the sixes skepticism. So ones really trust their internal compass most of the time. They really have a kind of a strong North Star. This is wrong, this is right, this is what needs to be done, this is the way it should be. Where sixes are going to be a little bit more questioning of everything, including the type one's quote unquote, obviously correct uh conclusion path forward, the thing that they want to do. It's so clear to the one, they are certain that this is the way to go. But a six, it might feel like to the one that they're undermining them a little bit with those questions. And for a six, it might feel like that one is a little arrogant in that area. Um, another one is around questioning authority. Ones really do respect rules, structure, hierarchy. I don't have to agree with everything, but I will kind of respect the process. I will respect the system that is in place. Um to an extent, like it needs to make sense, right? And it needs to be in line with their ethical right or wrong standards. Um, whereas a six is gonna be much more um willing to question authority. They're they have kind of a complicated relationship with authority where uh I joke sometimes during our presentations where a six is like, don't you dare tell me what to do, but also can you tell me what to do? Um, and so it is this kind of this push-pull. They want to trust the authority, but they kind of need to test it to make sure that it can be trusted. They're just not gonna blindly follow. So a one in charge might feel constantly second-guessed and undermined by a six who's really just wanting to do their due diligence and kind of do that, you know, that pressure test. Can this actually, can this person, can this system, can this idea actually be trusted? Another one is around um anxiety versus irritation. So, and this will happen. This won't be probably a daily occurrence, but maybe under a stressful situation, a tight deadline, you got a big workload. Um, sixes are going, you're gonna see that worry. They're gonna externalize that worry, where a one most likely, they may also be worried, they may also have some external worry. You know, this isn't, this isn't 100% true, 100% of the time, as we always say. But a one is more likely going to internalize any type of criticism. Um, they might withdraw, they might kind of go rigid, um, but that's gonna happen a lot of times inside, and then they're that inner critic is gonna be coming out. So a one, or I'm sorry, a six might be thinking, you know, what if this goes wrong? And they're gonna be outspoken about that. They're gonna question, you're gonna hear from it. And to a one and maybe to others, it can feel like they're catastrophizing. And on the flip side, the one who let's just follow the process, right? Let's just, let's just do what has always worked. Um, when that gets said to a six, that might feel a little dismissive. Like, well, wait a minute, we haven't thought through these other possibilities of things that might happen. Um, let's see, the fourth potential point of friction is going to be around perfectionism meeting paralysis. Now, a one can absolutely struggle with paralysis analysis as well because it's not perfect yet. And let me let me hold on to the slide deck just one more night. I want to, I want to tweak some things, I want to review it. Um, a one very much wants to get it right. And a six wants to make sure that it's right as well, but that it's a safe path to move forward on. So, together, under pressure, this can really create um just a continuous conversation, a continuous looping of refinement and second guessing that stalls momentum. So be gotta watch out for that when you're working with your one or your six teammate. Um, and then the last one is around feedback feeling like a threat. Ones are going to give very direct feedback. Um they're gonna care less about how the person receives it. They're not going out trying to be mean by any by any means. Um, but they like, hey, I need to say what I want to say what needs to be said so that you can improve. You know, I I I care less about if it hurts your feelings, if you're gonna improve. So a ones are gonna give very direct, improvement focused feedback. A six sometimes can read that critique as they don't trust me, they don't trust my judges, they don't trust my work, they're questioning my decision making. So that can cause some friction. And then a six who doesn't feel secure, um, might overly explain, might get defensive, or or maybe shut down completely. So that can be a potential uh friction point between those two. When we look at communication, each everybody's gonna have communication breakdowns because of stress. You know, we just can't, we're not perfect. We're gonna have these things. Um, so I'm gonna give you some typical potential, I guess, um communication breakdowns between these pairings. It doesn't mean, again, that this is these are the only things that it can happen. It doesn't mean these will happen. But the default mode for a type one, we kind of talked about was is it's direct, improvement focused, very principled, kind of sticking to the rules, the standard, whereas the sixes communication is gonna be very thorough. And when that's dialed up too high, that might feel like overexplaining. Um, very focused on how this impacts the group. And then it's gonna be questioning, which can feel on the receiving end, you're undermining my authority or you don't trust me. Under stress, that communication for a type one can get really critical and rigid and impatient. During stress for a six, that communication style can uh can be um very, I guess, riddled with anxiety. Um, it can be a reactive communication style. Um, and sometimes it can even be combative, uh, a combative communication style when they really feel like you're backed into a corner, when they really feel like they've been dismissed. Um, some things that a one might need to hear is just, hey, I trust your judgment. I try, I trust you. I trust that you've thought this through. And where a six might need to hear something similar, um, but a little, a little more nuanced than that, hey, you're safe here. Like I I've got your back. Like, thank you for those questions. You're you're safe to bring up your questions and concerns. And then when it comes to communication, a type one might struggle with receiving uh feedback. It can feel like they're being challenged by the six. And for the six's struggle, it's going to be receiving that direct feedback at times from a type one without feeling like they're being totally criticized. So when a six is asking, well, but what about this? As a one, just know they're not trying to derail the plan. They're trying to make it bulletproof. They're trying to make sure they're safe, you're safe, the team's safe. And a one saying, Hey, here's the right way to do this, isn't necessarily dismissing your concern as a type six. What their intention is, most likely, is to create clarity, a clear path so that you can move forward with less worry and anxiety. So when these two can kind of learn to hear the intention behind the delivery, you know, this some of that miscommunication um can be avoided or at least lessened. Now, when we have a leader who is a type one with a type six teammate that they're leading, um, they're gonna be really great at setting clear expectations, high standards, they're gonna be consistent, they're gonna hold people accountable. Sixes are gonna appreciate the heck out of this. Um, probably more than more than other types. Um, but on the flip side, a one leader who is very rigid, is inflexible, dismissive of concerns. It's like this is the right way, we're doing it, kind of thing. Um, that That's a really fast way to lose a six is trust. And when a six, when you don't have a trust with a six, they're either going to become really anxious, like just kind of an anxious mess, or almost like a quiet, um, a quiet uh uh enemy ultimately kind of just continuing to to push back. So you want to just be aware of when you can explaining those things. So um some things to watch for is your sixth teammate needing that reassurance. Um, and sometimes it's more than you might think as a one is necessary. It's like, well, just we don't have time for questions. We just gotta do it. This is what it needs to be done, just do it. And of course, there are times and situations where that is this is what you gotta do. But of course, there are times when you could slow down a little, explain some things. Um, so just be aware of that and know that as a type one leader, that those questions um and that reassurance that a type six needs, like, am I doing a good job? Is this the right way to do it? Did I make the right decision? Um, it's not weak or incompetent. It's just we all need and appreciate different things. So reassuring your type six um can go a long way as well. And so the sweet spot for this type one leader, type six teammate dynamic, is a leader who, when possible, explains the why behind their decision. And that's gonna earn so much loyalty, trust, um, support from that type six teammate. Going to make your job easier, actually, as a type one leader. Now, when the roles are reversed, when we have a type six that is a leader, um leading a type one, they're gonna create a team culture of careful planning, mutual accountability, which a one also appreciates and gonna have do, and then just a really strong group sense of group loyalty, group cohesion, which a one is gonna appreciate. Now they might struggle, a six might struggle in this leadership role with making decisive calls without checking in with everybody, without that group consensus, which can feel frustrating to a type one who really wants a clear direction. I think sixes probably struggle with checking in with the group. Nines will do it, twos may do it a little bit. So, you know, we're not any type can struggle with that, but that's a common one that I've seen. Um, so you want to watch out for your type one teammate that you're leading, dismissing the type sixes leadership as indecisive or maybe going rogue as a type one with your own standard when you don't feel like it's being led well or led in the in the right direction. So be be be aware of that as a type six. That might be something that is a struggle that's going on. And if you have a type six manager and you are one that that could be a frustration of yours. Um, the sweet spot here for this duo is a six leader who is transparent also about their reasoning and will invite the one on their input when it comes to quality and the process. So kind of having a more collaborative approach while still um taking the lead and um moving things forward. When it comes to kind of a peer-to-peer relationship, they are probably one of the most reliable pairings on any team. Um, they're gonna get things done, they're gonna work hard if they trust each other. If not, whew, it could get messy. It could get messy, it could get contentious. So another risk that you might have to watch out for um between these two teammates and just kind of a peer-to-peer setup is that we kind of talked about getting caught up in that anxiety, um, overthinking, paralysis loop where is this good enough? Is this safe enough? Are we certain that this is the right decision, the right move? Um, and you can just loop and loop and loop unless you have somebody to kind of step in. So watch out for that if you happen to be working with uh in this duo. Um, so it could be really great if you kind of let, hey, one, we talked about you're great at setting the the standard. And as a six, you're great at kind of owning the risk assessment. So together you're gonna kind of cover the the full gamut, the full picture of making sure everything's done perfectly and you've thought about everything that could go wrong before you actually ship it. So you know it's gonna be done well. What growth looks like for this dynamic is as a one, your certainty isn't necessarily the whole picture. So when a six maybe pushes back or questions that certainty, it's gonna be really easy to get defensive. Try some curiosity, you know, what might be under this question? What might they be feeling? You know, is it is there some anxiety? Is there some uncertainty that's causing some stress that's underneath these questions? And it's less about questioning my authority and just again needing some of that reassurance. On the other side, we have our six. And so one of your growth opportunities is just to remember that just because somebody is direct doesn't mean that they're trying to criticize you, um, that they're it's a threat to your security by any means. So I and I think this is something that we could all learn from as well, because you know, it's not just sixes who can feel this way, but practice taking that direct feedback, just at face value, um, before you start trying to kind of scan for hidden meaning or hidden criticism, right? We're always like, wait a minute, what's behind that? They said, they said good job, but there was a little bit of an inflection. And and what did that actually did they really mean good job? What did that what does that really mean? So do what you can to quiet that voice. It's gonna be there. It's gonna be there, but do what you can to quiet that voice and just take that feedback at faith face value. I think those of us who are led by an eight could also take a tip from this or around that. Um, a five is also uh pretty good at giving direct feedback. So just know that direct doesn't necessarily mean mean or that you're being criticized. But together, when these pairings work together, where whether it's a leadership and a teammate dynamic or teammate to teammate, um, they can they can really um have so much success when you build that trust very intentionally and very early on. So these two really run on trust. And neither type is gonna be quick to extend it. Uh something else that we'll talk about in our workshop is workshops is that there are types that's like, hey, I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to. Typically that's your sevens, your nines, your twos. And then we have other types that are I'll trust you once you give me a reason to trust you. That tends to be our sixes, our eights, our ones, maybe our fives, um, maybe even our fours a little bit. And so just know that both of these types are that like I will trust you once you give me a reason to trust you. So that trust does need to be built very intentionally. And so you can kind of say that out loud. Um, like, hey, I know you're we're both gonna need this. Um, this is what I'm gonna do to build this. Here's what means a lot to me. Here's what trust means to me, here's how to get it with me. Um, and you can give each other the benefit of the doubt, um, probably more than feels comfortable at first. You're gonna, you're that trust is gonna, that trust is gonna be built. So some things to to kind of or a question, I guess, to consider if if you're in this duo is is just to think, okay, um, as a leader, maybe I have both of these team, both of these people on my team, or maybe I am one of these people, and they have their own strength. So, where on our team is somebody holding our standards, um, making sure everything is correct and as perfect as can be, and that we're constantly improving. And then where do we have on the team that somebody else is kind of holding that, those important questions? Maybe it is a little bit of skepticism, but it's that that contingency planning and the asking the questions and the pressure testing. And are we allowing both of those individuals with those individual strengths to be a valuable part of their team? Are we getting frustrated with them or are we able to value them? And if we're not, what are some ways that we can maybe reframe our perspective on those strengths? Because they are strengths when they're dialed in. So if you happen to be one of these two pairings and have something that you would add, or maybe you want to push up against, disagree with a little bit, or you have a real world story or a funny story, I would love to hear, I would love, love, love to hear from you about how this is showing up in the real world for you. So please share those at enneagrammba.com forward slash contact. We will be back with another um co-worker chemistry matchup. If you have suggestions or something appearing that you would like to hear, you know I would love to hear from you on that as well. So we'll probably do something with um that is not related to a type one for the next one. Um, I'm not sure what that will be yet, but stay tuned. Uh, come back and listen. And if you feel like somebody on your team would be helped by this and another department, please pass this along, share it. As always, I appreciate you being here, and I hope to see you back in the next one.