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Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. And today we are continuing on with our coworker chemistry series that will be quite a series over time, but we're going to be adding in some different topics and extra episodes along the way. But I do want to have these episodes so that people can go back. People in our workshops can come back to these and get a little bit more of a deep dive. You listeners who are regular listeners and maybe we haven't worked together yet can also get some very specific workplace dynamic insights, things to think about, self-reflection, other reflection. And today we're going to be looking at the matchup around Enneagram type 8, Striving to Feel Powerful, sometimes called the Challenger, and our Enneagram type 9, uh striving to feel at peace, uh, both inner peace and the world around them to be at peace, ideally. And uh they're sometimes known as the peacemaker, the peacekeeper. And I think a very uh visible distinction between these two. And you can probably, even if you don't know someone's type, you can probably recognize the the different energies here because it is they are quite different. Um, they can make a wonderful team, just like any can, um any pairing can when they're both self-aware and willing to be curious and willing to understand the other person, even if they are very different from them. Um, but you know, I'm thinking of specifically in the decision-making process, we have our type eight, whose leadership style is known as the commander. And they just have kind of their default setting is, you know, I'm gonna take charge. They tend to be natural leaders and they tend to be very quick, decisive, bold decision makers. Um, they have a um confidence in themselves and their decision making. They just kind of know what's right, and they don't typically spend a lot of time uh creating a pros and cons list, not a lot of time asking around what do other people think. It's kind of like, okay, what needs to be done? And we were always talking about how if they had a brand logo, it would be the Nike, just do it. And it that that applies to their decision making as well. Just do it, just make the decision, move forward. If it's not the right one, I'm confident enough as a type eight that then we can readjust, we'll we'll figure it out, we'll we'll keep moving forward, but we need to keep moving forward. Whereas the type eight, their leader, or I'm sorry, the type nine, their leadership style is known as the consensus builder. And so when you think about how that might uh how that might present itself in a decision-making context, um, they are almost the opposite, want to bring all, bring everybody to the table as much as they can hear from all the the voices, making sure everybody feels like they have been heard and had a chance to share their thoughts, their opinions, uh, their commentary on the decision that's being made. Now, of course, neither one of these is 100% true 100% of the time, but these are tendencies of these two. And when both are, if if you happen to have these two on a team or you are one of these and working with another, um, this can be a really powerful pair because you have the decisive decisiveness of the eight. And then you also have that consensus building, let's bring everybody along so that you know, whatever we're building here is sustainable because we have everybody working towards coming along with us. Oh, like such a great pairing. Um, I'm assuming you can already probably start to see though where the friction can happen. And so we're gonna look at both today, but I just think no matter, you know, if if you're, you know, an expert on the Enneagram yet or not, um, you can probably start to see, you know, I'm not sure what that coworker is, but they're probably over here on this nine spectrum, if I had to guess, versus me, I'm more maybe on this eight spectrum or vice versa. Um, so we're gonna talk about the types specifically, but even if you aren't one of these types, uh there are uh probably things, both both good things and potentially uh, you know, challenging things, um, just with with the energy behind both of those that you will hopefully recognize. Um, so as a quick refresher, we're gonna we're gonna look at our type eight, striving to feel uh powerful in control. Uh self-sufficiency is really important to them. They have that line to a five, which is also uh autonomy, self-sufficiency is also really important for that type, a little bit different uh presenting, but but very important. Um, they will, we talked about their directness, their decisiveness. Um, they will be very uncomfortable and probably um a little um contrarian when they feel like they're being controlled or manipulated to do something or seen as weak or vulnerable um in any way. That is the kind of the one thing, um, one one of the, I guess, probably thing that makes an eight an eight is striving to feel powerful and also avoiding vulnerability. Um they sometimes have a reputation for being a bully. Um, but I don't think that many eights would say, I I don't experience myself that way. You know, I I I am direct. I see what needs to be done. I wanna, I wanna protect my team from making a mistake, from missing an opportunity. So just kind of full speed ahead type of energy. Um, I don't want to be, you know, caught on our back foot. I always want to be, you know, ready for whatever comes our way. I don't want to put myself or my team in a vulnerable position. And sometimes that energy can be experienced with a lot of intensity. Um, and sometimes people might say it can be overwhelming or um it can feel maybe a little harsh. I think an eight would say, I'm just really passionate. Yeah, I am intense because I care a lot. Um, I'm not mad necessarily, I'm just really passionate about this topic. And then we have on the other side our type nine who is striving to feel at peace, and their core driver is to feel at peace, inner and outer peace, to feel calm, connected, in harmony, um, ideally undisturbed. They just want to kind of go with the flow, um, don't want to rock the boat, they want to be um accommodating most of the time. Uh, they tend to be very steady. And um we when we go through our workshop and talk about what each type notices when they first walk into a room, similar to a type two, a type nine is looking around at others, but it's not from a place of connection, like the type two who's starting to feel connected. Um, looking around, what's going on? What do some, what do people need? What does this person need? And then how can I help support them? How can I provide for that need? What, you know, what can I do? Whereas a nine, also focused on others, but more from a standpoint of I want to understand the temperature of the room so that I don't step in, you know, a landmine, so I don't say something that causes uh, you know, an awkward moment of conflict or you know, I step on a landmine and now all of a sudden uh it's no longer peaceful. And so they are very much attuned to others, but from I want to keep the peace. I wanna, you know, I wanna wanna keep the the flow going, the peaceful flow going. Um, and they feel like conflict, disagreement um will disrupt that peace. And so they will avoid it at all costs. Um, I do want to say I think sometimes they get a reputation for not having any opinions with nicknames and and uh archetypes like the sloth and sleepwalking through life. And, you know, there is some things that we could talk about that's behind that, and and and that might feel true for some of our nines. Um, but for others, it's you know, I do have some strong opinions at times, but I'm really just trying to kind of pick my battles, what what is worth going to bat for? And um, if something is, I will most certainly do it. But if it's not, I'm okay to just kind of smile and nod and and move along through the meeting. So um that's kind of that's the foundation that we are we are working uh with today. And this can be such a strong coworker dynamic, um, such a collaborative, such a successful workplace relationship when both people are dialed in and have an understanding of themselves and the other person. So we have one strength is you're pairing that big, bold vision. Just do it. We can do big things. Um, they say nines have the greatest energy of all the types on the Enneagram. So you have that. Um, that is going that A energy is gonna generate momentum. They're gonna make the calls that need to be made. And then the nine next to the eight is gonna be able to build that, do that consensus building, build that coalition, uh, bring people along on this journey so that everyone is feeling a part of the process rather than steamrolled and actually wants to work on this project or in this direction that the eight has decided we're all gonna go. So together you can work both quickly and with sustainability that that's gonna last because you're bringing people along. Um, the eight, another strength of this is that the eight can rub off on the nine and make the nine bolder. So nines, one of their workplace struggles, especially as um an individual contributor, maybe looking to move up into a leadership role, they will struggle to take up space sometimes to assert themselves, to assert their opinions, to make hard decisions, strong decisions on their behalf on their own behalf. You know, this is what I think we should do. So hanging around their healthy eight coworker can give them that permission and that confidence and and maybe, maybe even a little bit of pressure, uh, feeling a little bit of pressure from the eight to show up with a real point of view and to share genuinely and freely what they think and their own insights and opinions. And that can be such a career booster, a you know, professional development booster, just having that person um with that type A energy next to you. And then, of course, the same is true when we look at it kind of from a vice versa angle. So the nine can can help the eight to maybe soften those edges a little bit. Nines, um, nines just have this anxiety reducing effect just in their aura, you know. Uh a lot of times we'll hear from people, it's like, yeah, when you know, this type nine person sits next to me, Charlie, whatever, Sally. Um, I just feel calmer. They're just steady. I just the temperature in the room goes down when they walk into the room. So nines have a pretty good ability to uh receive that intensity of an eight without giving it back, without mirroring it back to them, um, or even shutting down. Now, sometimes that may be the case, but they can just kind of hold it. They can just hold that intensity and that calm steadiness can really disarm the eight. Maybe they came in hot, hot and heavy, you know, ready to make some some big decision or ready to, you know, kind of share really intensely what they think is going wrong. And being around that nine just it just kind of lowers the temperature a little bit. The eight's still gonna say what they need to that needs to be said, probably. Um, but just in a maybe a more effective way so that the room is willing to listen and receive whatever it is that the eight is going to share with that kind of softened um approach, like the nine can do so well. Um, I they both can be fiercely protective. Um, they both can be loyal. I think any type can be loyal. Um, sometimes sixes, you know, because one of their nicknames and a lot of the Enneagram literature is called the loyalists. I think sometimes they have dibs on being loyal, but eights are incredibly loyal. It's kind of like mafia boss style, like takes a really long time to get in the inner circle. But once you're in, they're gonna protect those people, even if they disagree behind closed doors out in the open, you know, that these are my people. Um I uh if you're watching this on the video, I just am noticing that I have all this hair on my my microphone uh from my cat. And it's just like blowing in my face. And uh, I'm just keep I'm just keep having to itch my nose. So I'm gonna um do my best to get through this. And if you're listening, you you didn't notice and you probably didn't need to hear that, but um just it is it is a lot of hair. I didn't realize. Um, okay, so we have we have the eight loyalty, protectiveness, but also nines can be very protective of their people as well. It'll just show up differently. And so when this pairing, you know, works really well together, when they that trust is built between the two of them, um that that bond in their work ethic, that work relationship can run really deep and be an incredibly powerful duo. And then they both can handle conflict really well, it's just gonna look very different. So A is gonna have a tendency to move towards it. They're not necessarily looking for it, but they are absolutely not gonna back down from it. And I mean, that's the kind of person that you want on your team when there is a challenge that you know that requires that type of energy. And on the flip side, um, nines have a very strong, it's just a quiet strength. Um a quiet strength, a capacity to be able to hold that conflict, that challenge, whatever might be going off the rails without falling apart. That's that, you know, that strong, um, quiet steadiness. And that can feel really good and safe to be around as well. So between these two, it's a really valuable, um, useful combination in those kind of high stake, high stress situations. They're both bringing those that to the table. Um, now, of course, there's gonna be some friction points here with with all the matchups, but with these two specifically, we have um one potential friction point is gonna be this directness versus withdrawing or disappearing. Um the eights communication style just kind of naturally tends to be very blunt, pretty fast, talking, like you know, bada bing, bada boom, you know, we we're not doing the the the group survey. It's like this is what needs to happen. So I'm gonna make the call. Um so they're gonna be more direct in that communication where because a nine is striving for peace, that communication style can be experienced as aggressive, uh, potentially as dismissive. You know, we nope, we don't have time to do that. Nope, we don't have time for questions, we don't have time to listen to other viewpoints, uh, we don't have time to ask around, we don't have time to do the survey. So it can feel dismissive to the type nine. Um, or it can kind of feel like, oh my gosh, like things aren't okay. Uh, you know, we have all this like intense, immediate need to make a decision. Like, are we okay? Is everything okay? So that that can kind of feel really disruptive to a type nine. And an eight just might be talking. It's like actually nothing's wrong at all. You know, I'm just, I'm just passionately and intensely talking about this topic. Um, but for a nine on the receiving end, it can feel like, whoa, this is intense. So I'm gonna pull back, I'm gonna withdraw from this. I'm not gonna say anything as a type nine, and I'm not even gonna say, you know, hey, type eight, you know, that kind of landed harshly, that didn't, that wasn't well received by everybody. Um, and so the eight is just gonna go on their merry little way, having no idea that whatever they said landed wrong. And so they're probably gonna do it again and again and again. Meanwhile, the nine is gonna continue to get frustrated and and that resentment then starts to build quietly. Um, and we call uh here at Enneagram MBA when we when we'll do like Marvel character matchups, we say, uh, sometimes the nine can can be the Hulk because you're calm, cool, collect, you're steady until you're not, until you've had, until you've reached your your boiling point. And sometimes it's months, it's years, it's decades before that happens. But there may be a moment uh where that resentment just can no longer be held. So that's one that that directness versus withdrawing um communication style. Um, another point of friction is AIDS really do value brutal honesty. They want it, they want to be challenged. Now they may not love it in the moment, um, but they do appreciate when they get genuine pushback rather than somebody smiling and nodding, and then they hear about that person talking about their idea or whatever behind their back when they already said it was okay or where they already said it was a great idea, whatever that might be. So eights kind of want to be challenged. Um they respect people who speak honestly, uh, will who will hold their ground, you know. Uh you might get have a little tiff with a type eight in a meeting, but if you're willing to go toe-to-toe with them, when they see you in the hallway or whatever the virtual uh whatever the virtual uh uh similarity of that is, you know, they're they're gonna respect you. They may not like you, you know, immediately after, but they will they will absolutely respect you for that. Um, but the nine, again, somebody who is striving to feel at peace is most likely going to avoid conflict. And so because of that, you're not your natural tendency is not to think, okay, we're I'm gonna go toe to toe with this person. I'm gonna speak up. I'm gonna tell them what I really think. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give them my uh my I'm gonna disagree with them. No, no, but that's probably not your first, most comfortable, most natural reaction as a type nine. You're probably gonna tend to go along, smile and nod. Um and then, you know, because of that, the nine is probably or the eight's probably thinking, you know, there can't, you can't possibly agree with me on every single thing. And so now I'm starting to not trust your opinion because I'm not sure. You can't possibly want to do everything. You can't possibly think everything is a great idea. So now as an A, my trust meter is kind of going off here. Like, can this person actually be trusted? Even if the next time you say this is a great idea, is it is it really a great idea, or is it just because you don't want to, you know, tell me that you don't like it? And so there can get, you know, some trust issues, some frustration can start to build up um in this. So the nine's thinking, oh, you know, I'm keeping the peace, everybody's getting along, whereas the eight feels like I'm just working with a yes man or a yes person. Um, and I they can't they can't be trusted. I, you know, I can't trust whatever they say because they're just gonna agree. Um, so that's the second potential friction point. The third potential friction point is around their level of energy. Okay. So this is a this this makes sense. We have what the Enneagram literature says is the type eight having the greatest, uh, greatest energy of all types, probably followed closely by a seven, maybe a three after that. Um next to what what some might say has the least amount of energy. Um, and that can feel overwhelming to a type nine experience that, and it can feel frustrating to a type eight thinking, oh, they're going so slow, or they are thinking too much. So um, you know, you you can like why why can't you just make a decision? Why can't why can't you just say what's on your mind? Why can't you just pick a place? Um, and so there's going to be some frustration on the eights and and then a nine might be thinking, gosh, why do we always run into this? Like, let's let's slow it down a little bit. Let's try to avoid um, you know, completely blowing everything up and having to go back and repair. Like, I'm sure we're gonna get through it, but wouldn't it be easier if we asked a few people what they thought, if we brought a few clients in to get their opinion before we made this decision? Um, and so just just that energy um around making decisions, around starting, around even around speaking. Um, I've noticed that nines tend to speak a little more softly, very calmly, um, and and a lot of times a little more slowly. And I think that's true for a five, especially as well. And in these people, when they're talking with somebody who has a lot of energy, like an eight, like a seven, maybe even like a three or a two, and you can this person feels like you're collaborating. It's like, oh, we're bouncing ideas off of each other. Meanwhile, the nine, it's like, wow, you keep interrupting me. I'm not done talking yet. So even just the pauses that you might think as an eight are periods. Uh a nine is just taking a moment to collect their thoughts before they continue on. So just being aware of that, that energy mismatch and what each other is going to need and prefer to do their their best to work together best. Um, one example of that is just, hey, if I'm an eight, I know I make decisions pretty quickly. But if my coworker is a type nine, I know that they're gonna need a little bit more time to process. So I'm gonna go ahead and tell them the day before what I need from them, or that they're gonna be expected to share their opinion or idea. Uh, and that's they're gonna appreciate the nine's gonna appreciate that so much more. Um, another one is just around the idea of conflict. I think a lot of these are around um, you know, in challenging situations, which is when all these friction points come up, right? When everything's great, well, it's like, well, yeah, of course, there's not a lot of not a lot of friction happening. Um, but in moments of stress, when the stakes are high, we have um an eight when things go sideways, maybe go off the rails a little bit, who might escalate the situation with that intensity and with that big energy. Whereas a nine is probably gonna go numb and and really pull back. Um, neither one of those, though, is really addressing the issue. Um, the eight just kind of got louder. People are I get maybe listening because of that, but it doesn't mean that there are solutions that work for everybody, while the nine has gotten quieter. And both, though, can feel very alone in that dynamic. Um, so be be aware of that. And then the last point of fraction friction, it could be potential friction, is around um authority, who's in charge, who's creating the agenda. We, you know, we've now know eights naturally take charge. Nines tend to naturally defer authority to someone else. So in theory, that sounds like, oh, well, great. That's a perfect matchup then that that goes together, those puzzle pieces fit perfectly. Um, but in reality, nines are not going to be able to stay engaged in that dynamic. Um, they're gonna slowly disappear from decision making. Um, they're gonna feel like, oh, doesn't matter what I say anyway. So I'm not even gonna speak up. I'm just gonna keep quiet. Um, and then all of a sudden one day that resentment is building, building, building. And then, oh, all of a sudden, a nine has a strong opinion. And the eight feels like, gosh, this is so out of the blue. Um, you have never once brought up a concern, and now we're on step seven out of 10. And this would have been great to know at step one or two. Whereas, you know, the nine's thinking, well, I haven't agreed with this since the first step. Um, they were just waiting for the right time to say something. And that can cause some potential friction in those situations. Um, we've talked a little about the different communication styles where the eight has a tendency to communicate very fast, uh, direct, pretty unfiltered. They're not usually running it through the PC filter. Um, they just say what they mean and they expect the same directness and honesty in return. Um, they don't need the backstory, that subtext, that context they feel like is a waste of time a lot of times. Just just say whatever you need to say. Don't give me the, you know, don't give me the explainer beforehand. Just lead with the lead. Um, sometimes too, they might think, okay, that silence, that quietness, that where a nine might be thinking, processing, can feel like a weakness, can feel like, oh, this person doesn't actually know what they want. Um and then uh an eight, you know, they they can have a tone that that delivery can feel a little harsh. Um, it can be a little, a little hot, a little hot and heated. Um but if you listen to the words, which is hard, right? There is like the words that you need to communicate to somebody. And then there is also the delivery of how those words get to the person so that that person receives them. Because we can communicate however we want to communicate. But if we want that to land, we we will have to adjust it a little bit. Um, and so that'll be something that the eight just needs to be aware of that that heat, um, even when maybe there's actually no heat behind it, can be interpreted as hot and hostile. Uh, so just kind of kind of being aware of that, checking in potentially. Um, and then on the other side here, we have the communication style of our nine, which tends to be much less direct. I would even say indirect. Uh, you know, a good sandwich method when it goes to feedback or delivering hard news is probably going to be um a default to a lot of nines. Um, they are gonna be very measured and thinking before they speak, and they're gonna be very attuned with what is going on in the room, and they're going to maybe edit what they say and finesse how they say it based on that. And so that's a real strength. That could be a real strength when you're pairing these communication styles, but it could also, you know, there's going to be some friction with these two communication styles. Um, also in the communication for style for a type nine, they tend to minimize their own perspective, or they do bury the lead uh to avoid disrupting the flow of the room, the um the vibe that's going, it's like, oh, everybody's driving. I hate to, you know, I hate to disrupt this here. So I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna interject my opinion. Um, and so that could cause some problems, obviously, later on. Um when we look at the connecting points for the two types, our type nine is connected to the type three. And they call that, according to the awareness to action Enneagram methodology, that is your neglected strategy as a type nine, the type three, striving to feel outstanding. So, out of all the the strategies, that tends to be striving to feel outstanding, the one that a nine uh neglects the most. I don't want to be in the spotlight. I don't want the spotlight to be on me. I don't want to toot my own horn. Um, I don't wanna, I don't necessarily want, you know, the megaphone to share my perspective. So as much as I can, I want to, I want to minimize that. But that's where all the the like the biggest growth opportunities are, especially in the beginning. Um let's see here, what else do I have? Um the communication style of a nine can also process conflict by going quiet or just seeming to agree, seeming to agree when they actually haven't. We, the rest of us, especially the eight, can assume okay, they didn't say anything, they must agree, right? Um, but we'll talk about some things to do in just a minute for our nines and those situations. Um, and then they can look like they don't have an opinion. A lot of times, a lot of times they don't. Other times they have very strong opinions. It's just, is this worth my time to go to battle for this? Um is this the right moment to say this? So what an eight needs to remember about the nines quiet, it is that it is not the same as agreement, right? Not not not just just because you didn't disagree doesn't by default mean that you agree. Um, and it's definitely not the same as not having no opinion at all. So nines need to also remember that the eights bluntness is not necessarily a personal attack, it is just the energy behind, it's just their delivery of whatever they need to say. It's kind of their standard operating way of communicating. And so if if both types can understand those two things um that's going on in the room, that these two can really communicate uh better than than other types. I mean, they they can have a very complementary communication style. Now, I want to look at what happens when you have a leader versus a teammate dynamic. So let's say you have an eight that is the leader, and your nine in this situation is the direct report. We're gonna go through a couple of points here to consider if you are a type eight leader leading a type nine, and then we're gonna flip it here in just a minute. Um, so in this dynamic, the eight's natural decisiveness can unintentionally shut down your type nine coworker that you're leading, um, can shut down their input, their questions, their thoughts, um, before it even has a chance to come to light. And as an eight, I'm I'm assuming most eights are not doing this, not shutting people down or nines down. They are not uh intentionally shutting them down, and it and they're not doing it because they don't care what they have to say. It's just an eight genuinely moves so fast that it is hard for a nine to find that right time to interject with whatever they want to interject with. Um, the nine most likely will not just volunteer, hey, I don't agree with this. Just hey, out of the blue, don't agree with this, especially um in those very high stake pressured situations. Um in order to extrapolate that that disagreement or that insight from your type nine uh team member, you're gonna have to create kind of that a slower pace, a lower stake pace. Um, you're gonna have to have an opening, an intentional opening, intentional space for that nine to be able to speak up and to be honest. And then this is so important as a type eight. And then when they share their honest opinion, that is not at all easy to do, especially if it is in conflict with yours as the leader, um, you cannot react. You can or at least not have a big reaction. Um, you want to make sure that, you know, I don't agree with that, but I want to encourage this type of speaking up. I want to encourage this um uh collaborative, this efficient or effective uh uh I guess disagreement um in the future. And so if you if they say something you don't disagree with as a type eight leader, and then you shut them down, you kind of put them on trial, you know, make them present a case in the future, they're gonna think this isn't worth it, like never mind. And so you do want to be very you want their genuine, raw opinion, you want them to disagree with you, you want them to challenge you if if that in fact, you know, is where they stand. Um, and so you have to make sure that you're creating the space for them to do that so that next time they also feel like it's safe and okay to do that. Um, and then let's see here. The net the the other one I have here is that sometimes nines, and I think all types can maybe misread this, is that that calmness and that steadiness, that they they're very consistent, um, sometimes can be seen as low ambition or low involvement, low engagement, low investment in the team, in the company, in their own career path, when actually it's just that quiet strength. It it they have it's they're bringing that quiet competence to the table. Um, and they're actually deeply invested. They care deeply for the team. So just be be aware of some of the stories you might be telling yourself about what their very different energy than yours means, and check in and ask and communicate, um, and just be very, very cautious of what you think um some of their behavior means. And so um, as a type eight leader, specifically leading a type nine, one of the biggest growth opportunities that you'll have is to slow down long enough to ask the the nine, to check in with the nine and really slow down the pace and make it a safe place to bring concerns, to um, to be able to answer your questions, make it make it safe, make sure your responses are um that that they will want to respond and feel good and safe about responding in the future. All right. Now let's flip the let's flip the script a little bit. We have our type nine leader in this situation, the consensus builder, leading their type eight direct report. Now, this is a dynamic that may look a little chaotic on the outside, and and maybe, you know, it could be um if the nine is not grounded in their authority and the authority that they have in this leadership role. Um, the eight is gonna test. They they are the challenger, they are nicknamed the challenger for a reason. They're gonna test and challenge and push, and not always in a mean way, not always maliciously. Um, but that's because that's kind of how they kind of how they test the leader. And can this person be trusted? Am I safe? Am I vulnerable? Or am I vulnerable with this leader? They're they're putting us in a position to be taken advantage of, to be stream steamrolled over for something uh to happen. So that's why the eight will do some of that. It's not because they're a bully or they want to be mean. And so um a nine who is conflict avoidant, um, and maybe not not yet in touch with their own strength and capabilities that they and their power and their influence, nines can be so incredibly influential and powerful because of that ability to to consensus build and bring others along with them. Um they can get, they need to watch out for getting steamrolled by their type eight direct report. Now, a nine who has done a lot of professional development, who has done self-growth, um, who has done the work, whatever the work is for the nine, um, is gonna be able to hold their ground in a way, still not acting like an eight by any means, but they're gonna have that steady groundedness and they're gonna be able to hold their own in a way that a type eight does, in fact, respect. So the eight, though, will need clear expectations from their type nine leader. They're going to need real accountability. And the nine will need that nine leader will need to be able to have hard conversations when those expectations aren't being met, both with their type eight direct report, but also others on the team. Um, this is something that a type two can really struggle with as well, maybe even a type seven for different reasons, where it's like, oh, I see the potential. I, you know, I hate to say something, maybe they were having a bad day. Um, let's give them another chance. Let's give them another opportunity. Oh, well, they they this happened because this is going on at home. Um, but when those keep happening and happening and that bad behavior continues to be tolerated, that will be incredibly frustrating for your type eight teammate. And it will cause you, as the type nine leader, to lose respect with that individual for not having those clear expectations and then following it up with accountability when those are not being met. So um keep in mind, something to keep in mind for our type nine leaders, and then um something to think about when you are in this leadership role, thinking about how I can grow, is that that striving to feel at peace, especially in this situation, cannot come at the cost of the authority that you hold in this leadership role. And so you will have to work with your, you know, the story that you have in your mind that no conflict equals peace. That may not actually be the right story. Um, it may be actually conflict will get us through the awkward tension that we can, we've everyone is feeling because of whatever happened. I'm going to go ahead and address this uncomfortable situation. I may have to answer some hard questions. We may have a little bit of a TIFF among the team so that we can have it out, hash it out, and then get back to that place of peace. And then lastly, here when we're looking at coworker chemistry, we have our peer-to-peer dynamic. So this is where um might actually be the most frustrating because neither person has formal authority. Um, and so it's like, well, who is actually setting the direction here? Probably the type eight by default, as we talked about uh earlier. And so um the type nine in this dynamic will need to name what they're thinking, their share their perspective, um, find a time. It may not be the right time. They're not may not be, you know, a five second pause. It they may, you know, I think a lot of times nines are like, well, does anybody else have anything to say? Nobody, nobody, nobody has anything to say. And then, like, okay, yeah, actually, yes, I do. Um, those opportunities do not always present themselves, so you might. Have to speak up as a type nine and share those opinions early on and get in the habit of sharing them often, right? Um, and then um otherwise, I guess your your type eight teammate is gonna be making all the decisions, they're gonna be filling in the gaps um naturally if you don't step in and take up that space as a type nine. And then a type eight will need to actively ask, not assume, not let that story, whatever they think that quietness means, or you know, the just nodding along doesn't necessarily mean agreement. Um, you may need to specifically ask that type nine teammate, hey, um, I haven't heard where you land on this. Would you, would you be willing to share? And that can go a long way. I think sometimes that can feel very um anxiety invoking and and you're put on the spot, um, maybe in a big group setting, but maybe a small group or just kind of one-on-one, if you as a type eight go up and ask, hey, I haven't heard where you landed on this, I would love to hear your opinion. Um, and so you actively making space for that type nine to be able to share. So when we look at growth opportunities for both of these, we've we've talked about a little bit for both of these, but a type eight is striving to feel strong, that is such an asset in a leadership role. It is a such an asset on any team until they start reading, you know, just because not everybody is communicating as directly, as decisively, maybe as concisely as they are. And so they might think, oh, soft responses equal weakness. And every quiet person is a pushover. So that's just again being aware of the meaning that you put behind the different behaviors that are that's different than yours. Um, your directness is not the problem. What can be a problem is when you assume that directness is the only way to speak. Um, and so it will be a growth opportunity for you as a type eight to practice saying in the room, even when things go quiet instead of immediately speaking up. Um it might also be uh a very practical growth opportunity for you to see what might happen when you are one of the last people to speak up. Typically, you're probably one of the first people, either as the leader of a team or um as a teammate. You you probably, you know, raising your hand, speaking up from the beginning. Um, but what might happen if you waited until the end to share? Um, and were one of the last people. So um give give that a try. Give that a try to print to try and uh support your type nine teammate, bring out the best in them. And then our type nines growth opportunity is that also striving to feel at peace, creating harmony and buy-in and consensus building is also such an incredible strength on a team until right, until we overuse it. In our workshops, we talk about when your strengths are dialed in, you're using it for good, you're making things happen for yourself, for your team, for the organization. Um, but sometimes that same energy, we can dial it up a little too high in the wrong situation with the wrong person, and then it becomes an overuse strengths. And so for the type nine, when they might overuse the gift of striving to feel at peace, it can turn into avoidance. It can, um, and that can be incredibly frustrating. That tension can actually disrupt the team dynamic and not create a calm environment. Um, and so be be aware of the stories that you're telling yourself about what disagreement means, what conflict actu is. Um, your steadiness, remember, you know, remind yourself that that steadiness isn't you're not being passive, you're not being weak. That steadiness can actually be a lot of strength. Um, you just need to make sure that you are using that steadiness and sharing your voice and sharing your opinions because it is so valuable. It the people need to hear. Um, your perspective is not optional. People want to know it and they probably need they probably need to know it. So practice for you, it's going to be to practice saying the thing that you want to say before everybody moves on, even if there's not a wide open, quiet spot. So your growth opportunity, your practical growth opportunity might be being the first one to speak in a meeting. Okay, got a meeting going in on Friday. Um, I'm I'm gonna make sure that I'm I'm one of the first people to talk that's gonna feel really uncomfortable. I'm not gonna love that. Probably not gonna look forward to it. Um, but that that could be a huge benefit for you to get into the habit of that. Um, let's see, do I have anything else for growth? Um yeah, I I guess it just the silence is not you being silence, um, you being quiet, not sharing your opinion isn't necessarily keeping the peace. It's gonna, it's gonna, it could actually be incredibly disruptive, end up being incredibly disruptive. So again, just kind of changing the stories that that we have around that. But when both of these are dialed in, when they're dialed in with their strength, I mean, they have so much potential to be an incredible team that I don't think they get in, we don't we don't talk enough about um because I think the the I think the differences can be so glaring and the frustration between the two can be so common, but it can actually be such an incredible collaborative pairing. Um, it's just you know, again, the eights might need to stop assuming that the nines calmness and quietness means uh they're in agreement, and the nine needs to maybe stop assuming that keeping the peace is is that means I'm doing my job if I'm keeping the peace. When it no, you may not be doing your job by not speaking up. So, you know, be aware of that. Um I would be curious. Um, I would be curious if you happen to be an eight or a nine listening to this, what else you would add if there's a specific example that comes to mind where this has some version of this dynamic has played out. Um, if there's something you would add that I didn't cover, if you feel like, oh, you know, actually I think you got that wrong. And in real life, this is how I've experienced that. Um, I always love to hear from you guys. Um, you know, what I'm able to talk about is Enneagram theory and my personal experience um seeing other teams and professionals use that Enneagram theory in real life. So I'm kind of second-handedly taking their experience and sharing that with you here. But you have your own stories and examples. And I I would genuinely love to hear them. Um, I think it would add value to all of these conversations. So please do not be shy. Please share any additional comments or questions or ideas for future matchups over at enneagrammba.com forward slash contact. With that, I'm gonna ask that you share this with a coworker if you think that it would be relevant or helpful. And then these are the type of conversations that we um talk about in our starter workshops, and then we are able to get even deeper into uh specific coworker relationship dynamics using insights like this from the from the Enneagram with some of our additional Enneagram programming. I'm gonna invite you to check out all those options and to get a conversation started with us over at Enneagram NBA.com. And with that, I appreciate you being here and we'll see you in the next one.