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Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. And today we are continuing on with our weekend series around giving feedback as a specific type. I think a lot of the things that we have talked about in the past have been around how to give feedback to a certain type. And this series is specifically focused on as this type. Here are some things to remember to keep doing, to start doing, potentially stop doing, or potentially do differently. So as with all of these, we are going to look at three do's and three don'ts. And as always, I will say this is by no means an all-encompassing list. It's some things to reflect on. We all have strengths that we have talked about in these episodes to ensure make sure that you lean into as you're giving feedback. And we all have some potential pitfalls that we can fall into as we're giving feedback that we will we have talked about. So today, just so happens, type eight, you're up. So um I believe this is our second to last one. So it I believe we just have our type six left in this series. So keep an eye out for that um in the next couple of weekends. And today, though, we're it's all about our type eights, our the sometimes known as the commander, sometimes known as the challenger. And this is my go-to example inside our workshops. Um, how we talk about each of the types is we will introduce the type by talking about kind of the lens of the world, specifically in the workplace, that they will look through. And then we move on to looking at specific strengths of each type, and then we look at overuse strengths. And I really love this concept of overuse strengths because it really is the same energy. It's just a matter of do you have it dialed in? And our go-to example for talking about strengths and overuse strengths tends to be the type eight where we value direct communication, especially in rooms with leaders. We talk about, you know, what a what a skill that is, that is something to strive for, to speak concisely, to speak directly. And it is, and it is, it tends to be such a natural strength for strength for our type eights. But when we dial it up too high, or maybe in the wrong situation or in front of the wrong person or whatever it might be, it can come, it can be more of an overuse strength where instead of helping, we end up causing harm. So um, we all, each type has those when we're dialed in. It's great, it's serving us. And then when we dial that same strength up a little too high based on the situation of the person, it can be a detriment. So today we're looking at our type eights and we're gonna start with our list of dues for the leadership style known as the commander. Um, they are probably, I don't want to say probably, they they they are the most naturally comfortable type when it comes to giving feedback. They they are they are direct, they're not gonna sugarcoat it, not gonna dance around it. And they do see feedback for the most part as a gift, not an attack. And they are gonna give it to you straight and they kind of expect you to give it back to them. Um, so a couple of things. If you're listening to this as a type eight or you're leading a type eight and want to share this with them, you got three dues or to either start doing, doing, or to keep doing. And I think this first one is probably gonna be more of a keep doing for our type eights, where you own your directness. It truly is such a gift. Um, most people, as we've talked about in some of the other types, spend a lot of time and a lot of energy softening, qualifying the message or the feedback to the point where it can sometimes get lost completely. Type eights typically don't do that. So make sure that you don't start doing that. Um, keep that in and just pair it with enough warmth where the other person is going to understand and hopefully feel that you're in their corner, not necessarily coming after them. Okay. So however you might have to play with that warmth factor. What do you need to do? Maybe you need to spend some time, maybe building a little bit of rapport beforehand. Maybe it's, you know, just just tweaking how you you say some things. You'll know how to do that, but ensure that keep the directness and then just sprinkle in some of that warmth. Um, or whatever you need to do to let the person know, hey, I'm, you know, I have your back. The reason why I'm telling you this is because I care. Um, I've heard from other eight leaders that say, yeah, I if I'm giving you feedback, even if it stings, I care about you and your career. It's when I stop giving you feedback and stop speaking to you directly that you need to worry about because I've kind of I've wrote you off a lot of times. Um, the other thing to ensure that you keep doing as a type eight is to kind of piggybacking off this, make sure that you name the intention behind the feedback. So eights do typically give feedback because they believe in people and they want them to rise to do big things as well. So part of this feedback process might be prefacing it or at some point saying, listen, I know this is hard to hear, but I'm telling you this because I think you can handle it. And I really do want to see you succeed. And then kind of whatever comes after that, it just helps take on the receiving end whatever, whatever direct piece of feedback might be coming uh down the pipeline. So adding that in. Um, and then the last thing here to do is to is to kind of stick around even after you have said what you wanted to say. So you eights are in that, in that let's go far, let's go fast, um, get to the point, move along, keep the momentum going. Okay. So this makes sense that this would be kind of your default. But a lot of times eights can deliver the feedback, say what needs to be said, and then move on and potentially move on before the person that they have in front of them has had a chance to actually process what was said or what was shared with them. So do what you can, either just being really intentional with the scheduled time, um, or maybe just more unofficially making space, making time to sit with that person. So the conversation isn't just over because you said what you needed to say. Um, there may be something that they want to respond to. Um, they've kind of talked about how that makes them feel. And I know it's gonna seem like, well, just do what I said, right? But the intention is, I'm assuming if you're giving feedback, you want it to land, you want it to be heard, and you want that person to do something with it. And so as much as you can to kind of sit with them, allow them to process it and allow them to maybe ask questions, maybe to respond, um, the more they are going to be able to take it, digest it, and actually do something with the feedback, which is what we want. Three things to avoid as a type eight giving feedback. Um this one, uh you just it you have an intensity about you as a type eight. So this one it will require a little bit like the dial dialed up on awareness, the dial a little dialed up on intentionality. Um, because there does need to be some sort of foundation, some sort of trust that has been established that goes along with this directness, with this intensity that you tend to bring. Um, it's going to land that direct feedback, even when it's amazing, um, even when it's needed, is going to land very differently depending on the relationship. So with somebody who knows you, they're gonna get it. They're like, okay, this person is just a straight talker, don't get so wrapped up and did the delivery, listen to the words. Okay, got it. Whereas someone who doesn't know you as well or you haven't worked with as long, that intensity, that directness could feel like aggression. And that is going to be very difficult to receive that type of feedback or that feedback in that type of situation. Uh, the second thing to consider avoiding is this kind of piggybacks off the last do, is confusing your directness or your bluntness with the end of the conversation. So just because you said the hard thing and you said it clearly and you said it concisely, um, it's really just the beginning of the feedback conversation, not the whole thing. And I know that can be hard. That can be hard to, you know, maybe move through to sit with initially. Um, but you do want to make sure as much as you can that you're also um leaving space for questions, leaving space for feedback, and then, you know, also painting a picture of what you that what they have to look forward to if they're able to take this feedback and do something with it. So, you know, focusing on the possibilities, channeling the potential and the future as you look forward, not just what they messed up on. And then the last thing that AIDS have a tendency to do and just need to be, just be aware of. You may not do this, um, but to shut down when you get a pushback. And AIDS can interpret any type of emotion after a piece of hard feedback has been delivered, or even some defensiveness um, as weakness or even resistance. They're challenging me um in this situation. And then you can kind of withdraw, pull back, disengage. But but sometimes the pushback that you're getting from that individual across from you is they're just processing it. So again, it's not necessarily natural, it's not necessarily easy for you or most people. Um, but do what you can in this situation to stay curious and don't allow yourself to get closed off when that person, you know, does have maybe have an equally intense reaction to whatever it is you said. And I think as much as we can, um, I think if you take nothing away from today, the biggest thing that I have heard from people who are not AIDS that that do say they have co-signed on this tip that if you could just say, hey, I'm about to say something hard, this isn't easy, it's not fun, but I believe in you, I care about you, I want yours, I want you to be successful. Um, just some sort of preface can mean the world and totally change how that feedback is received. So if you take nothing else from today, um, that is one tip that that I hear from other types say means a lot to them. So something to try out in your next feedback moment is just to say some version of I'm going to be straight with you. I'm gonna keep it real because I respect you. And because I think you can do something with this. Like this is meant to not be mean, it is meant to help you. I am, I want to invest in your success. And in order to do that right now, I need to share this with you. So some version of that really does mean a lot um to to the other types being on the receiving end of that. So if you are a type A, as always, I will say please share anything that you feel like I definitely should have said on the do list or I definitely should have added to the don't list. If there's any specific examples um that you would share, I always love hearing from you. Enneagramba.com forward slash contact. And then these are the types of Enneagram insights that we share during our workshops and then also discussion prompts, conversations that we also facilitate inside our workshops. So people have a chance to actually say, this part resonated with me, or yes, I see this, or yes, you do this, and this is how I experienced it, really just to start a conversation, a meaningful conversation. Um, and so that's that is uh part, this is one part of our workshop series, or can be a standalone workshop in and of itself. So I'm gonna invite you to check out those options over at enneagrammba.com. With that, as always, thank you for being here, and we will see you uh in the next one.