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Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. And today we are continuing on with our weekend series around things to ensure that you keep doing as a specific type and some things to reflect on and potentially stop doing. So today's episode is all for our type sixes, do's and don'ts of giving more effective feedback in the workplace. And I think last week, if you happen to listen, uh last weekend, I had said, I think this is the type six is our last one, but I will say it looks like we have not done top five type five yet. So that is coming. If you heard me say that and you thought, wait a minute, we we're missing one. And we are. So we're we're definitely gonna get to that one and close out the series on this particular topic next week. And I I believe uh sixes, I don't know, our listenership, but in in our workshop experiences, uh, we tend to have the most out of out of all the types, uh, type sixes, in my experience, tend to be the most common or one of the most common groups. And so there is also a wide range of how this type gets expressed, um, especially when you're overlaying those instinctual biases with a preserving six versus a navigating six versus a transmitting six. So the way that a six will express that striving to feel safe and secure can look very, very different across the spectrum of sixes. And I like to, I like to point this out because it is such a large group. So many people um can relate to the type six as either their top one or in their top two or three. And um, how it gets expressed though can be very different. So depending on you and your unique self and your unique experience and preferences and strengths, um, some of these will resonate and some of them won't. And as always, I will invite uh any type sixes to add anything to this list that I missed, or if you think I got something wrong, let me know that too. And you can always share our your podcast comments over at enneagrammba.com forward slash contact. So with that, let's get into some do's and don'ts if you happen to be a type six. Um our sixes, before we get into that, I do just want to remind you that they are focused on safety security. They're very good at risk assessment. Um, they're very good at uh identifying deceptive logic, looking at people's intentions versus what they're really saying, very focused on group cohesion that matters a lot. They they love certainty at any any any time. I think all humans appreciate some level of it, especially our type sixes. Um and when there is not certainty, there can be some, uh, like like anybody, some some anxiousness. There can be some planning. Um, and that to an extent can be such a wonderful strength. Um, there can be that contingency planning. Do I have an ABCD uh plan in place just in case? And they tend to have a what might go wrong and an am I prepared for it type of mentality. And so sometimes they get a reputation for being confrontational or skeptical or pessimistic because they want to make sure that whatever the plan everybody's excited about has been thought out, that we've thought about the budget, that we've thought about who else will be involved. Um, it's exciting to be excited about a new idea or a new direction. And then uh I don't know that type sixes always love having to be the person, but they they they're willing to be to raise the hand and say, well, wait a minute, have we thought about this? Have we thought about that? So they they really care about their team, about their coworkers, about the department, about the organization. And I think that's important to keep in mind as we are talking about their feedback style and some things to keep doing that you are already awesome at, and just some things to maybe reconsider if you happen to be a type six. So, with that, um, in general, I think when it comes to feedback, our sixes are they're not going to avoid the conversation because they're necessarily afraid of causing conflict, like a nine might be. Um, any hesitation, and very, I mean, that could be that could be a reason, but a lot of the hesitation is gonna come around or is gonna come down to like, am I reading this correctly? Kind of that self-doubt. Like, I need to say something, but am I the crazy one? Or am I reading this right? Or, you know, maybe, you know, maybe this, maybe that. And so you you can kind of doubt yourself. Um they can get into overthinking what to say it and how to say it, and they can with a lot of things, think about it to the point where nothing actually gets done and it gets it ends up being something that they avoid um because they just keep overthinking it, want to find more evidence type of thing. So um the first thing on the to-do list for a type six when thinking about how to give more effective feedback is to trust the preparation that you most likely have already done. Sixes are rarely going to go into a feedback conversation unprepared. Like they have they are going to have thought about it, they are going to have considered their perspective, maybe the other person's perspective. They're going to consider what they want to say. And so the work here is not doing the preparation because you most likely have already done it. The work here is to trust that preparation, to trust the information that you have pulled, the analysis that you have, um, and to believe that that is good enough. Like you are more than ready. Um, you are probably more ready than you feel to deliver whatever it is you need to deliver, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be. Um, sixes are also really wonderful. I had mentioned at the top here about they're wonderful at focusing on it, paying attention to it, maintaining it, developing group cohesion. Um, very good at relationship buildings, similar to our twos, a little bit like our nines. Um, so lead with that strength in relationships. Um let the other person feel that you are in their corner, that you are um bringing this up for the good of their career, for this specific project, their success in this specific project for the good of the team. And it could just be a simple, like we've talked about so many of these types, just prefacing it a little bit with something for a six might be, I'm telling you this because I I care about your success. I'm I'm in your corner. Um, and that can go a long way with how it's received on the other end. Um, and sixes do deeply care, although sometimes it can feel like on the receiving end, it's like they're questioning my authority. Um, they're wanting to slow things down with all their questions. And it's it's really not that. All of that comes from a place of I care about you. I want to make sure that we've covered all of our bases, that we've thought this through uh before we start moving in a direction. Um, and then sixes like so many of the other types, just keep in mind to be specific and be concrete. I think a lot of times your mind will work this way and other things. You've you will analyze things, you will do the pros and cons list, you will be thoughtful about looking for more information, bringing it in, reflecting on that. So bring, bring that strength. Make sure that you are bringing that strength um into the room, and into the conversation here. Um, anytime that you can give specific off observations that are tied to real world examples that this other person in front of you has had to navigate, um, the better that will be rather than just, you know, I d this, I'm worried about this, I don't have a good feeling about this. Um, and that may be true. However, it's gonna land better and you're probably gonna have more success with getting a change out of that feedback if you're if you keep it specific and concrete, which you already have the data and the analysis most likely to back that up. So um anyway, so you have you have those three do's and then the three don'ts or things to consider avoiding is if you remember, we have talked about this one uh with our type nine most recently. This was something that we chatted about with our type twos as well, where you can overqualify the message um to the point that what needed to be said, the piece of feedback gets buried. So you can be you can plan so carefully about what you want to say and the delivery for how you're gonna say it. Um, you're covering every angle, acknowledging every exception, um, that then the actual feedback gets lost in all the caveats. So as uncomfortable as it might be, just say the thing that you need to say, and then trust that the person on the other end is going to receive it, they're going to hear you, um, without overdoing all the all the extra stuff, uh, to the point where you know it can be it can be confusing or the message totally gets lost. Something else to reflect on and avoid um when it makes sense is to wait until you are absolutely certain before saying anything. And based on what I said in the beginning, we know why this might feel like you need something you need to do. Um, sixes really value certainty. Uncertainty feels incredibly uncomfortable, it feels unsafe, um, feels the opposite of secure. And so sixes will have a tendency to look for additional evidence to help them feel more secure, um, hold on to things, think things through, process more until they can get to a place of feeling just very certain. Um, but certainty is not necessarily a prerequisite for a useful feedback conversation. And uh with so many of these, you know, I this is something that I notice in myself doing, you know, and I'm I'm not a six, so other types might also resonate with this, and it's not just sixes who may struggle with this. Um, but we might wait to we think, okay, I need to know everything about this, I need to know exactly what I'm gonna say. If they say this, then I need to be prepared to say this. And then if they say that, I need to be prepared to respond in this way. And so you end up having this whole conversation by yourself, and that may not, probably not, is probably not gonna be that useful because you have no idea how the other person is going to take it or exactly what they're gonna say and then what you might say. So there's a lot of thinking and a lot of planning for a scenario you just really have no idea about. And the reason why you do it is because you are wanting to feel certain. You want to feel certain and what how your opening, you want to feel certain about your responses, you don't want to be in a conversation where you're not prepared for the next thing that you're going to say. But in this type of dialogue, that's how it goes, right? You say your piece, the other person has a chance to say their piece. Um, you respond accordingly, or you say, you know, that gives me something to think about. Um, let me let can we take a minute and come back to this, or can we take a day and revisit this tomorrow? So don't, you know, don't get too hung up on, well, what if I don't know what to say? Just say, hey, I need I need some time to think about it. But also um don't be so prepared and so certain that you're gonna know the outcome that it doesn't leave room for actual dialogue with the person in front of you. Um, you can also use this as a as an excuse to procrastinate. So um just you know, just remember that if you are waiting for that just tried and true, ironclad evidence and and the perfect moment, it's not gonna happen. It's never gonna happen. So good enough is better than never. And you know, you're probably not gonna, nobody ever has perfect feedback conversations all the time. You can just do the best that you can. And again, going back up to that first one in the do's list, trust what you have prepared and then allow the conversation to unfold how it how it will. Um that's a big one. That's a big one that I hear from sixes and I see, I see in others outside of just sixes, including, including myself. Um, and then the last thing to do, which I guess to avoid, which is not easy, um, is to as much as you can avoid anticipating the worst case reaction uh that somebody might give you, and then allow that to determine how you're gonna show up for this conversation. Um, it is a gift, it is a strength of yours that you scan for what could go wrong, including in these types of conversations. Um but we just like we said before, we don't know. We don't know. So, what might happen sometimes though is our sixes are mentally rehearsing the conversation. They're anticipating what the other person might say, they're getting defensive, maybe they're shutting down, maybe they're pushing back a little bit more aggressively than they intended. Um, the anxiety and the worry is building. And before you know it, you know, you have yourself so worked up that you're unable to actually deliver the feedback in an effective way that is that is able to be received by the other person and land the way that you had intended it to. So sure, you know, it's it's it's I I think it's very difficult to say, well, just don't think about worst case scenario because you're probably thinking, oh, okay, yeah, I just why didn't I think of that? I just won't just won't think of worst case scenario. No, you're you're probably still going to think about it. And so if you do, then just make sure you spend a little bit of time as well on the flip side about what's the best case scenario, and then what is the most likely scenario? Um, add that to your thinking process before heading in too. It's like, sure, sure, think about the worst case, but also the best case, and then what is probably most likely going to happen. So by no means is this an all-encompassing list of do's and don'ts for effective feedback for a six or type sixes. So by all means, if you are a six or have worked with a six and have some additional tips to add to this, you can share those at Enneagramba.com forward slash contact. And a phrase to keep in mind as you're leading into this, as you're going into this conversation could be something like, I want, I want to share this feedback with you, I want to share something with you. Um, I've thought about it carefully, and I'm telling you because I think it matters for where you're headed. Um, I've thought about it carefully, and I'm telling you this because I care about your success, what, whatever that is, but I I do love the line about saying something like I want to share something with you. I've thought about it carefully. It's not just some flippant piece of feedback. I have thought about it and I I'm I'm I'm delivering it with as much care as I possibly can. And the reason why is because I think it matters for your success, wherever you're headed. And again, sometimes just being reminded of that intention, that you care, that this is not a personal attack, um, can go a long way in how that is received. So, with that, um, I will tell you that these are the types of um Enneagram insights and then the types of discussions that we end up getting into in our standalone retreat workshops and our Enneagram programming experiences. And uh it allows people to kind of self-reflect um without without judgment, um, and ideally with some humor, and then be able to actually change something or work on changing something, or at least walk away from this experience with some additional self-awareness and then some direction for something that you want to get better at. And that is what our workshops are all about. So I'm gonna invite you to check out those options to see what might be a good fit for your group over at EnneagramMBA.com. With that, as always, thank you for being here, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.