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Welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. And today we are wrapping up our series on how to give more effective feedback as each type, the do's and don'ts. And we are rounding out this series with our type fives. Their leadership style, according to the Awareness to Action Enneagram Framework, is known as the strategist. You also might have known them, might have heard of them as the observer. And we're going to talk about that nickname in just a little bit. Our type fives are striving to feel detached. And that really just means detached from feeling, you know, emotionally overwhelmed, other people's expectations, other people's wants for them, sometimes their emotions, and really trying to put healthy boundaries up around their time, their energy, their resources. And so out of all of the types, this type, because it is a it is a strategy that they use to keep themselves safe, to help them meet their goals, is that striving to feel detached. Sometimes you'll see it as strive or wanting to feel self-sufficient, wanting to feel capable, competent. And when dialed in well, they really are great at having healthy boundaries, saying no or saying not right now, understanding their energy and not overcommitting. And so there are a lot of things that some of us other types can learn from the type five. Today we're going to talk about some do's and don'ts specifically for this type. I do want to say though that this type, um, like all of the types, bring their own unique strengths to these conversations, to the workplace. Um, and for the type five, I would say one of the strengths is their ability to bring steadiness and calm, cool collectedness. They um have a tendency to approach life and then especially what others might feel like are really emotional or really difficult conversations or situations. They have an ability to bring some of that stoicism that let's not get overly excited either way. Um, let's just look at the facts, right? We don't want to go off feelings. There, they have kind of a show me the data, don't give me the drama type of mentality. They tend to not be reactive. They are going to have done their observing and then their analysis on those observations. And so when they say something, it's it is, it's just kind of like this is what I'm noticing. These are the facts. I'm not, I don't have a tendency as a type five to take it personal. Whatever I share with you isn't personal. Um, there's not a lot of, you know, noise around it. There's not a lot of uh explaining. It's just here, here, here's the facts. Um they and they love facts and they love information and knowledge. And so they're pulling all of that in, uh, analyzing it, observing it, um, so that when they give feedback, it really is, it really can be very precise and um very helpful. The things that they'll have to watch out for, though, is probably the delivery of whatever it is they're saying that can feel a little detached on the receiving end. Um, it can feel a little robotic, wondering, gosh, is this person, you know, are they a robot or are they a human? They just seem to speak so non-emotionally. Um, so just watching out for some of those tendencies, especially in such a such a delicate situation like giving feedback. So, a couple of things for our type fives to make sure that they keep doing that. This is already in your wheelhouse. You most likely are already doing this, or you have a natural tendency to be good at it. So keep doing it, lean more into it. And the first one here is we just talked about that precision. So let your precision work for you. You're going to give specific examples. Um, you're going to share well-observed feedback. You're going to notice things that other people miss. And you're most likely going to be able to articulate those things very clearly. All of that, so valuable in a feedback situation, right? So keep doing that. Make sure that you are doing that in these sometimes uncomfortable feedback situations. Lead with that observation. Um, be careful, though, not to give a conclusion and let the other person kind of follow along with your train of thought and let it be a dialogue around that initial observation. The second do to keep doing or to start doing more of is to make sure that you are saying the thing that needs to be said before you feel entirely ready. And again, this is some version of this has popped up in a few other types. Um, for the five, the reason why it tends to pop up is because they do want to be thorough. Um, they it's not necessarily I want it to be perfect. Um, and then so I'm gonna sit on it, I'm gonna tweak it a little bit more, but it's I want it to be thorough. So let me make sure that I have gathered all that I can gather, that I'm I've reviewed it as long as I can review it, that I'm kind of pulling together some thoughts from all of this. Um, and that is wonderful to a point. So you just wanna be careful that you are not waiting too long till you miss the opportunity to say something that needs to be said and let it go on and kind of cause the damage before you feel fully comfortable. So a half-formed observation is most likely going to be more useful than, you know, you've you've researched everything, you've observed everything, you've made pros and cons lists, you've analyzed, you've analyzed some more, and you're delivering it maybe three weeks too late, you know. So just just be aware of that. Just be aware that that is something that could come up for you and just kind of reflect on when when when you do tend to give feedback and you might just need to um say it a little earlier potentially so that it can be helpful for that person. The last one that we have on our do list, which again, I've said this for all of these, but these are not all-encompassing lists. There's many more that we could have added to the do's, to the don'ts. Um, but these are just some things to get us started thinking about to reflect on. And this one is not going to necessarily come natural. I'm assuming as a five, you probably have heard some version of this in the past, some feedback of your own you've received. Um, and this is when you are delivering the feedback to do your best. And I guess we'll we'll make it really practical here for our five. Um, you know, make it, you know, humanize yourself. So that might mean saying one human sentence. Um, you don't have to overexplain, you don't have to get emotional. Um, we, you know, that is not necessarily who you are, but one little sentence that just kind of signals that you care about the person sitting in front of you. You're invested in them, you care about their success. Um, you care about where they want to go, where where they are going, not just simply the numbers. You, you know, yes, that's important, and you care about them as a person. So saying something small and genuine can go a long way, just kind of humanizing the conversation, in addition to all the very important uh data and observations that you have. So a couple things to avoid, or a few things to avoid, um, or consider avoiding, uh, I think I'll say instead, is this kind of piggybacks off the last one where the thing to avoid here is delivering the feedback like a report standing up in front of a classroom, right? So fives, you are so good at not being overly emotional, not overwhelming people, not being reactive. Um, but the when it's dialed up a little too high, or kind of, I guess they say the shadow side of that can be presenting the feedback so analytically that it lands, it lands more like a clinical report, clinical piece of feedback rather than from a place of care. And so, you know, you might say, here's what I observed, here's what it means, here's what should change, and all of that is really great. Um the, you know, you're bringing in that needed data, you're bringing in um the information, and then maybe just add a degree or two of warmth into how you share that information. The second thing to avoid is kind of counter, you know, the opposite of another one that we talked about up at the top, which is waiting until you have the complete picture. Avoid this. You as a five are can be so thorough. Um, and you have a tendency to want to hold back until you are certain about whatever it is that you're sharing. And this is something that we talked about in the last uh weekend episode with our type sixes. Um, be careful, though, about delivering that feedback until you are 100% ready and it's 100% thorough, and you know exactly what you're going to say, and you're ready to say this piece of information if they should say that, and then you're gonna say this piece of data if they respond in this way. And there is just no way to predict, you know, to completely prepare for a conversation like this. Like you can prepare, most certainly, and you should, but it is hard to anticipate and correctly uh anticipate how the other person is gonna react, what they're gonna say, what you would say to that. And so just to help you kind of stay in the moment with that person, um you don't have to wait until you have the complete picture to provide the feedback. You could say something as simple as, I'm noticing, you know, you're not speaking up in meetings as much. Um I wanted to, you know, what's what's going on with that? I've noticed that you've been coming in late the last three out of four days. I've noticed that you're having a hard time with this, you know. So saying those observations and you that may be all that you see, and that is enough for a conversation rather than feeling like, okay, I need to collect all this data, I need to make all this, all this, all these charts and analyze all of this. Um, but it could just be as simple as that. So don't don't overly prepare, don't overly try and know exactly what you're gonna say and every single potential response that the other person could say because you're you they might they're gonna it probably end up saying something that you didn't prepare for anyway. Um and then this is an important one that I think some of the other types, there are other types out there that could also benefit from this. Um, and we've talked about some version of it where you're going to give this feedback and it's going to be straightforward to you. It's going to feel clean, it's going to feel like, okay, I did it. And check this conversation is handled, done and done. Um, meanwhile, the other person on the receiving end afterwards might feel differently. Um, they might be confused, they might be worried about their job, about their relationship with you, they might be overthinking it, they might be spiraling, um, whatever it might be, they they may not consider it done and done. So being intentional, especially as a type five, about checking in, I don't know, later that afternoon, that the next day, the next week, whatever it might be, and just simply saying something like, hey, you know, how are you sitting with what we talked about yesterday? Um, and that is going to mean a lot to the other person. And then your feedback is going to land better. And whatever it is that you wanted the person in front of you to start doing, stop doing, change, whatever it is, um, it's more likely going to happen when they feel like you care about them, when they have a chance to maybe process it and then follow back up with you and maybe ask questions or or feel a little bit more seen or heard, whatever, whatever they need, um, so that that feedback actually lands, which is what, which is what you want to. So fives have so many strengths, um, especially when it comes to giving feedback, but just remembering to, you know, add a little, add a little human element, a little emotional warmth touch to it can go a long way. And so a phrase that you might say as you're giving feedback with our to kind of preface the whole thing might be something like, Hey, I, you know, I wanted, do you have a few minutes? I wanted to share something that I've been noticing. I wanted to share something that I've been observing. I think it's useful. And I think that you'll want to know about it for the sake of your career, your project, just you. Um, and so I I like this because it's like, hey, I've been noticing this. I don't entirely know what it means, but I think that you'll find this observation helpful, hopefully useful. Um, and I want you to know about it. And that is that is kindness. And it might feel weird, it might be in an uncomfortable conversation, but um it it can truly help the person across the table from you as a five, especially when you're just being a little bit more intentional about how it's how it's landing. So um I I've said this with all the the types. If there's something as a type five that you would like added to this list, please share it and I'll pass it along in a future episode. If you think I needed to add something on the do's list, the don'ts list, something I missed about the type five in general. Um, I always really like to hear from listeners because ultimately it's your real world experience that's bringing the Enneagram theory to life. And so the more real world examples and takes and perspectives, the more meaningful and useful I think it becomes. So I do like to hear from you. Um you can share those additional comments at Enneagramba.com forward slash contact. And these are the types of insights and conversations that we are having inside of our workshops, whether it is an introduction to the Enneagram workshop at a standalone event, a retreat, off-site retreat, or as part of our Enneagram um series programming, these are the types of things, topics uh that our team members and our leaders have to navigate on a regular basis. And so it's always um anytime we can kind of pair Enneagram theory with a real world situation and just give you some things to think about to help you navigate those scenarios. In this case, it's been around giving feedback, um, you know, the more, the more useful it can be. So thanks for hanging out with this series. Uh, we're gonna be getting into some new topics in the in the upcoming weekend. So I hope to see you back. Thank you for being here. And uh yeah, we I I do. I hope to see you in the next one.