SPEAKER_00 0:07

You're listening to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA, a team training company. And today we're going to be talking about type nines and specifically why an Enneagram type 9 might not speak up in a meeting, even when they have something to say. As a quick reminder, our type 9s are striving to feel peaceful. They want to feel at peace inside. And then they want their outside environment to feel at peace as well. And I think because of that main strategy, we think a lot of times, oh, it's just as simple as nines don't speak up because they want to avoid conflict. And while that is a big piece of it, there are some underlying reasons, some nuances that are also important to understand. If you happen to be a nine, maybe some things to reflect on. If you happen to lead a nine, some things to consider to help them kind of step out and maybe participate more in a meeting. Because a lot of times they do have something to say. Now, sometimes nines will say, I simply don't care either way. But a lot of times nines will say, Oh, you know, I'm kind of I'm picking my battles, and this just so happened to not be something that I feel like arguing with anybody on. So I'm gonna smile and nod. Um, but there are other reasons underneath this that I think are important to know whether you're a type nine or not. Um, some of the other reasons maybe underneath nines having a thought, but maybe not actually saying it is one, maybe that thought hasn't fully formed yet. Um, there are any type, any person can, you know, need some time to to process before they form a thought and opinions end up speaking up to understand how they feel. Um, there is a uh grouping on the Enneagram outside of the awareness to action framework that has fours, fives, and nines in a category called the withdrawn category. And sometimes one of the characteristics of that category, that that grouping will be that you're a little bit slower to process. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just before I say something, I need some time to process it. And it's not just a minute sometimes, sometimes it's an hour, sometimes it's a day. And so that might be something, you know, a type nine. Oh gosh, I feel a certain way. It hasn't fully formed yet. So before I speak up, embarrass myself, rock the boat, like let me let me think on this a little bit more. I'm not gonna say anything right now. So that could be one reason. Um, another reason might be that somebody else speaks first. And, you know, sometimes nines have um a little bit of a feeling like, oh, my my thoughts, my opinions don't matter anyway. I I think fours can also struggle with this at times as well. Um, and so it's like, oh, they already said it. I'll just let I'll let them say it. Or somebody else said something in the opposite direction of where I thought I might, I might go. You know what? It's not worth it. I'll just let them have that word. Um, they might not speak up because maybe they were just about to, but then the conversation moved on, and they're most likely not going to be somebody who's like, wait, hold up, like, stop the conversation. I had something to say. Um another reason might be that their thought that they were going to share contradicts where the group seems to be heading. So very much wanting to avoid conflict in that scenario. Um, they might also start to consider everyone else's perspective and start to agree and maybe don't have anything additional to add. That is one of the gifts. I think it can sometimes be an overuse strength of the type 9 where they do have an ability to see all different kinds of perspectives. Um, they definitely don't have tend to not live in a world of black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. There's lots of context, there's lots of nuances, there's lots of um reasons that they can kind of see varying opinions. And so they might have started off one way and then they hear somebody else's perspective and they think, oh, you know what? I could see it that way too. Um, so a great quality, a strength for sure. But then sometimes they might start to lose their own voice and never speak up because of that. Um, another reason might be that they decide, you know what, what I have to say isn't important enough to interrupt the momentum. Uh, this is, I think, in a similar vein as their neglected strategy, which is the type three, striving to feel outstanding. Um, interestingly, that is the type that is also known as their growth area era, where that's a wonderful place to start looking at the strengths of a three. And as a nine, looking at what might I be able to bring in to enhance um the strategy that I use, striving to feel at peace. Um, but that also is one that they tend to neglect because I don't want to be, you know, too, I don't want to think that I'm too big for my britches. I don't want to be too self-promotional. I don't want to um think too highly of myself. I don't want the attention on me necessarily. And so, you know, right there they can think, oh, you know, maybe my maybe my opinion isn't that important after all to share. We're gonna talk about how that's absolutely not true, uh, but that might be a thought. And another reason why a nine might not want to speak up in a meeting is that somebody interrupts them and then they just don't step back in and reclaim the floor. So, you know, they might also think, oh, you know, I'll bring it up later, and then they just don't do it because nobody's prodding them to, prompting them to. Um, and so it is so much more than just nines hate conflict. There's a there's a lot of other things going on underneath that. And there is a workplace consequence that I believe is worth talking about for our type nines who feel this sort of way and who who um might let opportunities to speak up, to share their thoughts, to share their opinions continuously pass them by. Um, other people might misread that silence. Um, they might think, oh, they didn't say anything. Well, they must agree with this direction, with this decision. Um, a louder, more vocal coworker might just assume, oh, they don't have an opinion. Um, another teammate just might assume, oh, great, nobody sees a problem with this. Let's let's keep moving forward. Um, I have heard others share that one of the detriments to a nine experiencing this scenario can also be people, especially in a leadership role, people start to question why they're even there. If they're not gonna speak up, if if they're not gonna disagree, if they're not gonna share an opinion, if they're not gonna talk, why are they here? What's what's the point of having them here? And they absolutely have valuable thoughts, have important opinions that need to be shared. Um, and so it it is a detriment to the rest of the group when they don't speak up, not just themselves and their own potential career growth. So, you know, their teammates are thinking that, and the type nine all along, somebody's thinking, oh, they agree, oh, uh, you know, they don't have an opinion. And a type nine's thinking, I actually don't think this is going to work. Um, so silence isn't necessarily agreement, and participation is not always the best measure of how much somebody is thinking. So, yes, if you are listening to this and are a type nine or lead or coach of type nine, there are there is definitely responsibility on that person to speak up more, to give themselves more opportunities to be seen, to be heard, to continue to be um influential because nines can be incredibly influential in their own way. Um, and then I think the other part of that is if you happen to be leading a type nine or want to be a supportive teammate to a type nine, um, you know, instead of at the end of a meeting asking, does anyone have anything else to say? You know, what most of the time it's like, okay, let's just let's just move on, let's just get out of here. But a better question could be some version of what haven't we covered yet? So it's kind of saying, I know that there's something out there that what we haven't covered, let's see who's willing, you know, to share. I'll we're we're gonna make space for maybe what hasn't been considered yet. And that might open the door a little bit more for a type nine. Where a type nine, even if your thought isn't fully formed or you don't feel like it's important enough to justify taking up space, um, you could try something like, hey, listen, I'm still thinking this through. But one thing that I'm noticing is, you know, dot dot dot, fill in the blank. Um, and that can be kind of a low pressure entry point into a conversation without you feeling like you have to have a fully formed thought, perfectly well said, you know, articulated point. So as a type nine, you have something to say, as their manager, you have something to maybe consider about. Um, and maybe allow for some space for a moment for a pause for people to think and have the opportunity to speak up before moving on. Again, sometimes nines have a tendency to be a little bit slower to literally speak to um the pacing of their speaking. So it might just, it might just be, hey, can you just you know sit in silence for two extra seconds, three extra seconds, see who else might participate. Um, managers could too be a little bit more direct and say something like, you know, hey, um, Sarah, let's say, I I think you were about to say something. What what were you thinking? And particularly specifically call on that that person. Um, I think that might also work really well if they happen to be interrupted and then they didn't go back to kind of jump back into the conversation. Um, and then last kind of consideration for this is overlaying the instinctual biases. And by now you've heard me sprinkle these in here and there. We're not going to do a full, you know, instinctual bias lesson. But because of those three flavors of an of a type nine, we have our preserving, the navigating, the transmitting. Um, whereas for those of you who maybe this is new or just quick refresh, our preserving tends to focus on resources. Do I have enough? Am I using them correctly? Our navigators tend to focus on roles, who's where, who's in charge. I don't have to be in charge, but what's the lay of the land? Um, and then our type, uh, our transmitting type is really focused on reach, going far, leaving a legacy, kind of doing some big things. So a transmitting nine, for example, could potentially have much more visible energy or be a little bit more expressive, emotive, maybe talk with their hands a little bit more than somebody who is stereo stereotypically, you know, the image of the nine, you know, maybe a navigating or preserving bias, might look a little bit and probably will look a little bit different. And what gets attention and and how the underlying nine strategy gets expressed will look different than a transmitting, for example. So not every nine is gonna look quiet in a meeting necessarily. And type nine, just because somebody identifies as a type 9, doesn't automatically mean quiet person, right? Again, we what we have talked about all week long is that we're not talking necessarily about the specific behavior, but rather we're talking about that underlying strategy that can that absolutely can sometimes result in this specific workplace behavior. So as you go out into the world, whenever you're listening to this, if you're a nine, you have some things to think about. If you are leading or working next to a nine, you have some things to think about. But just be careful about assuming, you know, oh, they agree or they don't have anything to say and looking for ways to kind of support them and to um get them talking. And then as a type nine, again, thinking about how can I take responsibility and of my, you know, of what I can do to be more visible, to be um more seen. And it's not just to be more visible. I think it truly is beneficial for your team members to know what you're thinking. Most of the time, these people have incredibly important points to make um that can lead to another decision, can lead to considering something that wasn't being considered before. And so not only is it, you know, the nine potentially misses out on the career advancement, being seen a certain way, but the rest of the team misses out on what they were going to share. So, with that, um, these are the types of differences, the insights, kind of the behind the scenes of what might be going on and inside a meeting that we talk about in our workshops, in our programming with specific teams, with various teams coming together to understand kind of cross-department, um, the cross-departmental communication and collaboration. And so I'm gonna invite you to check out those options for what we might be able to do with your team, your department, your organization, some sort of rollout over at enneagrammba.com. And then tomorrow, if you tune in, we have a really fun announcement that I hope you will tune in for. And uh, and uh yeah, I'm excited to share that with you. So thank you for being here, and I hope I get to see you tomorrow.