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Well, welcome back to another episode here on the Enneagram at Work podcast. I am your host, Sarah Wallace, founder and managing director here at Enneagram MBA. And today we are talking about kind of a as much current events, I guess, kind of timely uh events as we can on an Enneagram topic. And that is around performance reviews. Depending on when you're listening to this, we're recording this. I'm recording this as we enter into the end of the year, where I know kind of a look back and planning ahead starts to happen over the next three, two, three months. And so I thought, let's let's do something that is, you know, kind of kind of timely with what uh might be on people's minds, what they what might be on their to-do list. Um, and so today we're gonna be looking at how to use the Enneagram in performance reviews. And I will tell you right now, this is not going to be necessarily a type by type episode. Um, meaning this is how to give feedback to a type one, this is how to give feedback to a type two, um, because people are so different, and we don't want to um, we don't want to, we want to be careful with our feedback and and just assume, oh, well, they're a type two, they might struggle with this, or because you know that that they're a type two, this is just their personality or or whatever it might be. So um we're going to kind of zoom out a little bit and look at as a whole some of the benefits that the Enneagram can offer us as a manager in this process. And at the end, I do have a free resource for you that after you go through this, I think you can you will uh you will be able to use uh pretty responsibly. And then we also have um a paid resource, a small paid resource um that I'll give you. So depending on uh how deep you want to dive further into this, there'll be some additional um things that you can look at after this. So um today we are gonna be talking about how to give feedback more intentionally with the help of the Enneagram, um, but not necessarily lowering the standard or taking away from accountability. Um, the Enneagram is ultimately a wonderful tool to help us to be able to communicate better. And one way that we need to communicate in the workplace is when we are delivering feedback. So we are going to be talking about that delivery, not necessarily the expectation or the the what, but potentially tweaking the how it gets delivered. So um there is, you know, frustration around the performance review process. I have experienced, I have had heard others experience on the receiving end, on the giving end. Um, and and some of it is it's it's a tricky, it's a tricky conversation. Um, because sometimes it's you know, you have to talk about some some maybe hard or uncomfortable things, and and certain people might be more comfortable giving that um versus others, and other people might be more comfortable receiving um more so than others. Um so we're we're gonna we're gonna talk about it. Um, because sometimes I think you might give feedback as a manager and think, okay, um I said what I needed to say. I feel like that was pretty clear. But then maybe your team member is walking away thinking, like, I I actually have no idea what they want me to do differently. Or um they might they might feel a little criticized, like they only focused on on what went wrong. Um, or maybe the delivery was a little more um intense than they were expecting, and they might feel like, oh, that that felt harsher than it needed to be, or potentially they might leave and think, you know, I nodded, I smiled and nodded just to get out of there, but I don't really agree with any of this. So um we're gonna look at three ways that the Enneagram can help us um before that conversation even happens. And so the first one is quite possibly my favorite, and that is what am I bringing to this review? What perspective, what beliefs, what stories am I bringing to this conversation? Um, what might this team member need in order to actually hear what I have to say? And then third, what outcome am I trying to create? What do I actually want them to do differently? So with all of our workshops, um with anything that we talk about team building, how to communicate better, how to um, you know, how to collaborate more effectively, it all starts with looking at ourselves first. And and it's today is not gonna be any different. Um, and so we're gonna ask, rather than asking ourselves, well, what type are they? Um, we're gonna start with a question. Ideally, what do I tend to do when I give feedback? So a couple of examples to kind of get you thinking about your own feedback style is maybe there um maybe there's a manager out there who overfocuses on what needs to be improved. Um, maybe somebody kind of does the opposite and avoids the hardest feedback that needs to be said. Maybe there's a softening of the message so much that the message becomes unclear. Um, maybe the manager is jumping quickly into problem solving. Um, potentially they could overwhelm someone with too much detail. Um, they could make the conversation overly task-focused, or potentially the manager could get impatient with the employee asking questions, or maybe the employee just needing some time to process. And so they're not giving you a lot of response. Um, so the Enneagram can be really beneficial here because it can give that leader a way to notice their own default patterns before walking into feedback, any feedback conversation. And so a, you know, a useful question, I think, right now, even could be, you know, what am I likely to overdo or potentially avoid in a conversation, in a feedback conversation. I think if that's the only thing you took away from today's episode, I think that alone could improve those feedback conversations. Um the second tip I have is around separating the expectation or or whatever standard you have that they might have missed the mark on, separating that expectation from the delivery. So if an employee, you know, missed their target, missed deadlines, um, needs to improve their behavior in some way, um, the Enneagram isn't here to say, well, you know, that's just their personality. They're they're type nine, they're type five, they're type eight. That's just how they are. I have to accept it. No, um, of course not. Um, we have expectations and standards um that that need to be met in order to to be successful, um, for the the individual to be successful, the team, the organization. Um, so we're not talking about changing that or lessening that, um, but the delivery of them potentially not meeting that standard or whatever it is could be tweaked a bit. Some examples are um maybe you change how much context you give. Maybe you give more than you would, maybe you give less than you normally would. Um, you could lead with the big picture, or maybe you lead with something very specific, depending on who's in front of you. Um you might also tweak how direct you share your concern. Uh, you could allow for some processing time. A lot, a little, however you want to do that. Um, you might also tweak how you invite questions, you know, kind of turn it into a dialogue versus, you know, a feedback monologue potentially. Um, and then also you might tweak how you clarify what you see as their next steps for improving or growing might be. So the goal here is to personalize the communication, but not lessening your expectation or your standard or accountability. Um, the third thing to consider is what is actually going to help this person hear the feedback that I'm trying to get to them. So again, I'm gonna say this a couple, I'm gonna keep saying this just as a reminder. Again, we're not going to say, how do I talk to a type six? Instead, it's okay, knowing what I know about the Enneagram language, I have like this whole library now of language with the Enneagram. Knowing what I know about this person, what do I know from this person and and all this other Enneagram content that I have learned from working with them that might help me customize my delivery. Now you're gonna have the support, the additional language, the additional insights of the Enneagram, but it's not as as much as we want it to be. And I know it would be so much easier to just be like, okay, look at my little paper. They're they're type, they're type seven. Okay, this is exactly what you say to type sevens, right? And I know that you you know that. Um, but it can be so um tempting to want to just uh just just tell me, how do I talk to a seven? How do I talk to a six? Um, so instead, we want to kind of consider, okay, um, how much, how much context does this person typically need? How how how detailed or specific do I need to get with them? Um, are they gonna need some time to process? Do I need to send my, you know, my written feedback uh review to them, or their performance review before, give them a day or week to process, and then we talk about it. Do we talk about it and then have a follow-up? You know, what what how much process time do they need and and what is that going to look like? How are you going to support them in that those processing needs? Um, how direct do I need to be with them? You, you know, you you might not have the the most direct approach, but that's my that might be kind of how that person in front of you, you know, needs to be communicated with. So you might have to step out of your your typical norms a little bit. Um, do they need some reassurance? Again, maybe that's not your typical go-to style, but in order for the feedback, which I know we all want, is to land and for them to change and and and get better for themselves, for the team, for the organization. And so maybe you have to, maybe you have to do a little more reassuring. Um, maybe you have to make some room for them to ask questions. Um, you might need to give them a very clear next step. What exactly do, you know, do you want them to do with that? Um, and do they understand why what you're asking them to do, this change that you're wanting them to make, um, why it matters. So the Enneagram, of course, can give you some hypothesis, um, but this person in front of you is a unique human being. And so they're there, you're gonna have to uh you know, pay attention to them leading up into to this conversation, understanding them, getting to know them more, going through this process as tailored to them as pro as possible. So we can use the Enneagram as some insight. It can be a hypothesis, but but it is not a script. We would not necessarily uh you know read word for word. It can give us some ideas. The other thing that we want to check ourselves on as the person giving the feedback, as the manager in this situation, is just kind of keeping an eye on the story that we tell ourselves about their reaction to the feedback. And again, I still struggle with this. I I struggle with this um sometimes professionally, definitely personally at times too. So getting getting feedback, yes, it is a gift, but that doesn't mean that it's always easy to um to accept. Uh, because you know, it sometimes it's pretty, gosh, kind of it can be kind of vulnerable. And so that that might kind of stir up some some stress, some triggers. And so you want to be careful about what you tell yourself that their reaction means, or it they could be having a wonderful, you know, perfectly normal reaction, but it just might be different than yours. And then you might tell yourself a story about it, which I also am guilty of uh professionally and personally. So um I'm I'm right here with you, um, kind of keeping an eye on what I tell myself. So, you know, during a review, you might have your team member asking a lot of questions. Maybe they become quiet, maybe they push back, maybe they get emotional, uh, maybe they immediately jump into problem solving mode. Um, or maybe they kind of brush off your feedback, minimize the issue, or maybe they just start, yeah, you know, yes, uh yeah, totally, you're right. I can see that, you know, start agreeing really quickly. And so you, as the person giving the feedback, might interpret those questions or that pushback as resistance, defensiveness. Um, you might uh interpret the, you know, the quietness as disengagement, but maybe they're really processing. Um, you might, you know, potentially even see it as lack of accountability or when they're minimizing the issue, lack of care, they're just kind of brushing it off. Um, but you know, maybe not always, but a lot of times that behavior and then the story you're telling yourself could be very different things. So when somebody's asking questions, we have we have talked so much about our our poor type sixes, how they can get a reputation for being kind of the the Debbie Downer, the devil's advocate, the you know, the pessimistic person because they're asking all these questions or questioning authority. Um, other types, though, might also have some questions, and it might not mean at all anything about you. It just might, hey, I need some clarity in order to really like take this. I just need more clarity. Um, the silence, like we talked about, uh, just might mean, hey, I'm I'm processing. The pushback might mean I want to understand the logic behind this. Can you can you give me some more, you know, I want to understand it. Um, and then the quick agreement, we want to be very careful, might not mean true buy-in. It just might mean they're so uncomfortable with this. They they're gonna do anything and say anything. Say whatever you they think you want to hear to be able to get out of it. So the Enneagram can help us kind of pause and just ask the question, what else could this reaction mean? Um, it might be hard to do in the moment, but I think if you kind of, you know, set the stage each time before you have somebody come in or get on the phone, whatever it might be, and just say, okay, I'm gonna be thinking about what's the story that I'm bringing, um, what story might I be telling myself about their reaction. And then just kind of just remind yourself before you get started. Um, and then sometimes, you know, maybe, maybe making the the feedback performance review a two-way conversation could be really helpful too. Um, and so instead of only delivering the feedback, I think you could have a really great opportunity to make your team member not only feel um engaged and part of the solution, um, but also kind of feel really seen and heard and build up trust for this conversation and for future uncomfortable conversations, which are are bound to happen. And maybe asking things like, okay, here's the feedback, you know, what part of this feedback feels most useful to you? I really like that question. Um, and and maybe this is again, depending on what you know about the person in front of you and how much time they're gonna need to process, maybe it's you give the feedback and maybe there's some sort of follow-up. I, you know, I don't know. I know that that that could be a lot of scheduling, uh, that could be a big scheduling headache. Um, but I I do think that there is an opportunity to, you know, give those people who maybe need some time to digest the feedback and then ask some questions. Um, what part feels unclear? Does anything feel unclear? Um, is there anything that helps you ref receive feedback better? Or, you know, is there anything I can do to help you receive it well? Um, is there anything about how I communicate feedback that makes it harder to hear? So you're getting a little feedback on the way that you give feedback, which I think is I think is great. Um, and then what support would actually help you make this change? Because again, we might think, you know, here's the problem, here's what they need to do, but maybe inviting them to be a part of that solution. Um, and then what do you think success looks like from here? So I I really do love that these type of questions, and you might already be doing this, right? You you very well might already be doing this. Um, so take take what's helpful, ignore what's not, you know, make it your own. But um I do think that having some sort of of kind of opening it up for questions and and feedback on your feedback, um, really takes the the review from just a monologue from their manager to a really meaningful and productive conversation, dialogue. Um the other thing that I have here it and this is where the Enneagram type specifically can come into play, where we might know maybe you've been through an Enneagram workshop, maybe your whole team's been through an Enneagram workshop. People feel pretty confident about their types. Um I I really like using the the term, well, that makes sense um when we're giving when we're giving some feedback potentially about how much how somebody's strengths might be being overused and kind of becoming liabilities or or challenges or just have you know creating some blind spots for this teammate. And I think sometimes when you say, you know, I'll just pick on myself, you know, uh at type seven. Sometimes we have a you know a reputation with um struggling to follow through. And so rather than, you know, you you suck at following through or you're you're not, you know, you're really struggling following through. I think sometimes even just a little, even just a little preface or or something after, you know, again, you know, we've we've gone through the Enneagram workshop. I I know that you said you identify most as an Enneagram type seven who strives to feel excited, you know, this challenge that you're having, um, it makes sense that that this would be one of your your challenges, the things that we need to work with. So, you know, don't don't you know beat up on yourself too too harshly. This makes perfect sense. Um, so some examples of where strengths can become overuse strengths um and and create performance issues sometimes might be something like again, a Type one, I think we think of high standards, but anybody can have high standards that become kind of over-controlling. Um, I think we think about our type twos as being really helpful and accommodating. And so that is a strength, that helpfulness is a strength, but it can become over-functioning. Um, it can become over involved in other people's work to the point where they're not doing their own work. And again, hey, that makes sense. You know, you want to help, you want to take care of people, you want to be supportive. You just gotta make sure you're taking care and supporting yourself. Um, you know, where somebody might really thrive with their drive and ambition, but then they can overuse that strength and it can become kind of too um too much of image management. Maybe they become, you know, workaholics and and you can see they're on the precipice of of burning themselves out. Again, hey, that that makes sense. Um, somebody who was striving to feel unique and wants to put a unique creative spin on things, and they can be so good at that. When it's overused, it might turn into being, you know, a little overly impractical. Um, our type fives sometimes will um are really good at at analyzing things, collecting information. Um, but when it's overused, it can turn into delays after delays, thinking and more thinking and thinking without a lot of action and execution behind it. Our type sixes, we have talked about that, you know, they they're they're really wonderful at risk assessment and being really vigilant, but then it can be overdone where they're asking too many questions. They're always questioning, they they can't ever move forward, um, they can't ever accept your answer. So you gotta be careful about that. Our sevens, we just did an episode um earlier this week about the optimism can be such a strength. And so we wanna, you know, don't stop doing that or don't stop doing any of these strengths. But at some point, when it's overused, it might become avoidance of a difficult conversation, of you know, the challenges that you are uh experiencing are type eight sometimes. Um, one of their strengths is is being direct, very clear, concise, direct. Sometimes when that's dialed up a little too high, that overused strength can feel intimidating, dominating, angry. So just something to watch out for with your team members. And then um our type seven, or I'm sorry, our type nines, we talk about they have a a natural strength a lot of times of bringing harmony and consensus building to a team. But again, when that's overused, um, it can be avoidance like the type seven for very different reasons. Um, it can also slow down projects and momentum because we can't always ask everybody their opinion. We we we want to as much as possible, but we can't do it all the time. Um, and so these are just some examples. And again, not all sevens are gonna struggle with the the overuse strength of avoidance. Um, other people, you know, might be really optimistic and and also avoid other types. Um, you know, type ones don't have the monopoly on setting high standards and can potentially be overcontrolling. And anybody can, but this just again, the Enneagram can kind of give us some some tendencies, some some additional insight into um specific strengths and how they could be overused. Now we don't want to say, you know, just stop doing that, quit. Um, but we because ultimately that is a strength that when that employee, when your team member has it dialed in, it's working for them. It's working for you and and the rest of the team and the organization. And so rather than, you know, you know, stop doing that, it I think a better question to have with them might be, you know, well, how how do we keep this strength that you are so good at? How do we keep doing this, but not overdoing it, not letting it run the show? Or, you know, maybe in are there sp are we seeing some specific patterns or or themes when it gets overused? Does it get overused and you know, when you're stressed, or does it get overused in a particular situation or with a particular person? So just have opening that up to a conversation. Um, and then I have five questions as we kind of close this up. Um, and before we do that, I will say there is a resource that I'm gonna put in the show notes, a free resource gives you some things to think about when you're giving feedback to each of the types. Um, again, want to be very careful that it's not a script necessarily, but that could also be um a great prompt conversation for the your team members to say, hey, you know, I have this Enneagram checklist here. It says, you know, a lot of times uh type ones appreciate A, B, and C. What about this is true for you? What would you add? What would you take away? Um, what else should I know? Kind of thing. Um, so I'm gonna put that in the show notes. It's called our feedback cheat sheet. And um I'm putting it in here. It used to be a free resource. We've taken it off, and now um our workshop clients get it at the end of their workshop, but I'm gonna put it in here for this episode. Um, and then we also have what we call a manager prompt pack that gives you some prompts. Again, not necessarily a word-for-word script that you're gonna say, but gives you some ideas for how to handle various types of conversations with particular types, um, including some feedback guidance. And so that is on our website um as a paid resource. I think it's, I think it's 47 over on our resource page, $47. So I'll put, I'll put that um in the show notes as well. But um we've gotten a lot of good feedback about the practicality of that resource. And it's it's pretty robust. It's pretty robust. So you have two um resources depending on on what um how much further you want to go, in addition to what we've already covered today, if you're if you're looking for more. So as we close it up, um there's five questions, kind of a little, I guess, pre-performance review checklist um to consider, to consider asking yourself. All right. The first one is what do I need this person to understand? What do I need or want this person to understand? Um, what do I want them to do differently? What am I likely to overdo or avoid as their manager? I think that's a really important question. And that's sometimes kind of hard, hard to face, also. Um, and then the fourth one is what might help this person hear the message more clearly? So you might have to tweak your natural delivery style. And then how will we know that this conversation actually led to change? And uh we do a growth segment of our Enneagram trainings. Typically, this is a part two or a part three, just kind of depending on how the introduction went. Um, but part of this is a is a small group exercise where you go through setting goals, your growth goals, like why is this important? What exactly do you want to do? And then the last question is what will success look like? How will I know that I have accomplished this thing that I'm wanting wanting to do? Because sometimes people will say, uh, you know, I I want to be more direct, I want to be more, uh, I want to be more empathetic. I want to um I want to be more influential. And you can go through all those questions, but then I really love that. Well, how will you know? How will you know that you are being more direct? How will you know that you are being more influential? How will you know that you are um I forget what the the example that I shared, but how how will you know what what will what will actually change? What is what will change? Um, and that's I think where you really start to move from kind of feedback awareness to okay, I'm getting this feedback so that I can take action and change and and actually make a change and improve. So, of course, you know, the the goal of a performance review is never to have necessarily a comfortable conversation. A lot of times these can be quite uncomfortable. Um, but we do want to make the feedback clear enough, useful enough, and actionable enough that the person can actually do something with it, not just feel beat up on or potentially confused by. So we can use the Enneagram to help us be more intentional about how we deliver the message by looking at our own kind of default delivery approach, the stories that we are telling ourselves about their reaction, and kind of trying to understand the person in front of us what they need to hear. Um we can still use the Enneagram to be intentional about how we use the Enneagram while we still keep those expectations and and hold that standard um in place. So we're not, you know, we're saying we're not gonna necessarily tweak that. The standards, the standards, the goal is the goal. Um, but how we talk about that might be a might be a little bit different. So um I would be so curious. I know that uh we have several past clients who we have talked to about them specifically using it in their performance review process, pulling their type into the conversation, um, the managers reviewing their types before that person comes in and having some conversations and thinking through all the things that we just talked about today. And so if you happen to be listening to this and are one of our clients or or or not, but your team uses it, you're using it in your performance review process, um, I would love to hear, you know, anything you would want to add to this or say, oh yeah, that really works, or here's another idea. Um, please share because I really like these types of things when we can get um, we can really get practical about things that people are already doing in the workplace and then how the Enneagram can use to be used to support those things rather than okay, we have to add, you know, these we have to add to our list in order to be able to use the Enneagram. Ideally, we want to be able to use the Enneagram inside the things that we're already doing and not create more work, but ideally make that work more effective, productive, maybe a little less stressful. Um, so anything that you have to share on that, I'd love to hear Enneagram MBA.com forward slash contact. And then I will I will say um if you're wanting to get your your whole team on board, and maybe it's just you right now, and you'd like um the rest of your team to at least have some foundational understanding of the Enneagram and the language around it, um, we have facilitated workshops. We have self-guided workshops where you can use our slide deck and field guides and uh activity ideas, pre-work ideas yourself. You would just lead it yourself, the facilitated um options. And those options and resources for getting started are over at Enneagram MBA. With that, thank you so much for being here, and uh I'll see you on Friday.