Welcome to the Enneagram MBA Podcast, a show for aspiring and growing entrepreneurs and unfulfilled employees who know they are capable of playing bigger. If you are wanting to identify your gifts, find your purpose, do work that matters, and create a ripple effect that goes beyond yourself, you're in the right place. Each week you'll get resources, strategies, and support to help you get to know yourself, to get to know and understand others, like your future clients, and help you get known so that you can reach more people with your gifts and purpose. So grab your notebook or open up your notes app, and I will see you in class. If you're new to the show, welcome to the Enneagram MBA podcast, where we each week look at a specific piece of the Enneagram in these classroom episodes, which is what we're going to get into today. And then also each week we get to hear from an expert in their niche in their industry who are who is going to share something that we can implement in either our the work that we do or the life that we live, and also share their experience as their specific Enneagram type so that we can A, if we resonate with that, kind of feel validated and know that somebody else is out there feeling the same way that we feel, get to kind of nod along and think, oh my gosh, yes, I do that too. And then also if that happens to not be our type, still get value from it by understanding those around us who may have some of that similar energy as our guest and just get a sneak peek into what is life like as this completely different personality who has a different look and view of the world. So I'm so glad you're here. I work with individuals right now one-on-one to help them A, start to uncover what their dominant type is, and then B, once we start to get there, look at how to apply it to real life so that it's not just knowledge that you're carrying around. Knowledge isn't power, it's what you do with that knowledge that is power. So we get into how to actually use this knowledge that you're learning about yourself, your personality, your purpose, and apply it to real life, specifically apply it to the work that you do or want to do and bring, um, bring into the world and get visible and get eyes on it. So I'm so glad you're here. We have been talking about groups in the Enneagram. So there are, we can definitely look at the Enneagram by the nine different types. And we can also look at the Enneagram and the different groupings that exist within the nine types. And so last week, if you haven't already listened to that one, um, you don't need to have listened to it to get value from today. Um, that episode was episode 21, I believe, um, where we, yes, 21, three ways we respond to conflict in difficult situations. So we talked about the three groupings within the Enneagram that deal with our conflict style. And today we're gonna get into another group that has to do with the energy that we bring to going after what we want. And in Enneagram terminology, if you are interested, this is known as the stances of the Enneagram or the Horn and I cannot, I can never say this properly, but it's called the Hornav Hornavian triad. Um, and this might be our social style, um, also known as that. So there's three different types, and there's three different groupings. So just because you were with um a specific two other types last week doesn't mean you'll be in that same grouping with those people. It's it's we got new groups this week. And so we're gonna look at this energy and the benefits to doing this is one, so that you can understand yourself better and start to see how you can harness this energy to move you forward towards your goals. And then B, and where this grouping really helped me was in this next benefit was understanding that others have a very different energy than me. Some people can have a very different energy than me. And to understand more about that, understand where I'm at and what that energy entails, and then have a better understanding of the other kinds of energy out there and how I might be overwhelming somebody or, you know, I want to be helpful, but it's actually harming that relationship, harming that work. And so I'll share a specific example example with you later on when we get to my specific type about an aha that I had. Um, but today this is kind of the focus is understanding how you go after what you want and the energy you bring to going after what you want. Now, this is something else. This was another pillar that we covered inside the CEO style by Enneagram type training that took place a few weeks ago. That replay is still available for download. Get the whole two-hour workshop that you can watch. And um also you get the slides that come with it, which is a pretty massive in-depth uh slide deck, but you'll also get access to that and you can learn more about that over at sarolyn.com forward slash resources. You'll you'll see how to get access to that training. But for today, um, we're let's let's talk about this. Let's talk about the energy behind going after what we want. So the first grouping is a grouping that is called, you'll hear it called the dependent group, the compliant group. I've also seen it called the dutiful group. And this is where our type ones, types, type twos, and type sixes tend to be. And the the reason why they get this name compliant or dutiful or dependent isn't because they're dependent on a specific person or something. It's that they have this energy that moves them towards people. And so they're gonna look outside themselves to get their needs met by complying with a certain set of beliefs. It might be a community, it could be a specific authority outside of them, it could be um rules, guidelines, structure in some sort, but something outside of themselves that they're moving towards in order to get their needs fulfilled and really to be of service to others so that they can um kind of put they'll they tend to put their needs aside in this grouping. They are there for the common good, they are looking to support the common good, and and instead of thinking like, what do I want? They'll be thinking, what's good for most of us? And they'll want to know where they stand within that structure that they're looking to for guidance. Um, again, whether it's beliefs, um, a community situation, um, a particular group, and understand, okay, where do I stand? And and um am I okay here? Am I okay? Um, one of the interesting things about understanding that this energy piece is each tie, each grouping is associated with a specific orientation to time. So what I mean by that is they're they tend to look at the world through a specific lens, either past, present, or future. And in this grouping, they tend to be more in the present in the moment. And you know, the pro for this grouping is that that is what you hear all of the personal development and the the benefits of meditation is to get be in the present, live in the present moment. So they they tend to have access to that ability maybe a little bit, a little bit more. And that is the the benefit is you're enjoying, you're able to be present, able to experience what's right in front of you. The challenge sometimes with that time orientation is that in the moment when you're having a problem, when you're on this journey to achieving your goal and you run into ultimately a challenge that you'll have to work around, all they can see is the mountain in front of them. They can't remember how much they've overcome in the past, how much they've already done to even get to this point. And then they also can lose sight of what's on the other side of the mountain that, you know, just get over the mountain and there's gonna be all this other good stuff and the the benefits once you once you get over there. And sometimes it's just they're so focused on the problem right in front of them that they can't remember the past or the future in those ways. Um, and that these types will tend to struggle with anxiety a little bit more. We we know that already with our sixes, but with our umes and twos, that will come up as well. And then something else that we'll dive deeper into at some point, but I'm just going to to scratch the surface on here is that also in this type or in this group, they will tend to feel like they have to earn the thing that they want. And according to Enneagram Theory, our types eight, nine, and ones really want they're going after ultimately autonomy. Our types um two, threes, and fours ultimately are wanting attention. And then our type five, six, and sevens ultimately are wanting that safety and security feeling. So, in with that in mind, our type ones then will feel like, oh, I have to earn this ability to have the autonomy. Type twos will think, oh, I have to earn the attention of others. And the type sixes will think, okay, I there's things I have to do in order to earn that safety and security. Okay. And this this was something else that was really interesting to me. And there's more that we can kind of dive into it, but that that might hit home with you, depending on um which of these types that you are. Now, our next goal or our next goal, our next group is the withdrawn group, the withdrawn stance. These are our fours, our fives, and our nines. And this type, we talked about how the compliant dependent type grouping moves towards people. This group actually moves away from others to get their needs met and instead looks within to get whatever they need. So they tend to be a little bit more private, tend to be a little bit more introverted, and that that there is the exception with our counter types, which a countertype is you have the core motive of that dominant type. However, because of some other different characteristics, different pieces that you might resonate with, your behavior might actually look like a different type. Um, but your core driver belongs to the is most resonating with that dominant type. So you're still considered that type, even though you might look and behave like somebody else. Um, and uh counter types is another topic I have on the list. So that'll be a fun one to get into. But most of the time, four, fives, nines are gonna be our more private introverted types on the Enneagram, and they're gonna be internal processors and sometimes maybe even a little bit slower of a processor. Um, and that's okay. Actually, that's probably a huge benefit in a lot of situations where instead of having an immediate reaction that they immediately act on, they're gonna take some time to process it, think about it. How do they feel about this? Um, how yeah, explore that and then come to some sort of an opinion that they want to that they will then share. Um, as you can imagine, sometimes for the the those of us who are not those slow, maybe more intentional processors, um, that can be really frustrating. And you can even, you know, push people to to give you a response to give you an answer. And um, you know, how much anxiety and how you know how unhelpful is that really going to be because you don't they they don't have an answer. It's not that they're trying to be difficult, trying to play games. It's that they truly need the space. They need the space and the time to process what they think so that they can give you a thoughtful, genuine response about how they really feel. Um, and then these types will tend to pull away from others in order to avoid obligations and and just the demand sometimes that that others, you know, it feels like you have to to keep up with with other people, you know, what other people want you to be, what other people want you to do. And so they'll again go within and and move away from others in order to not feel like they have to do that, in order they'll they'll they'll pull away. Um, their time orientation in this grouping is oriented to the past. And so the benefit of that is that you're gonna be very reflective and thoughtful and think, okay, here's what I want to do. Here's my goal. How did this go last time? What were the things that worked? What didn't? Let me assess, let me, you know, adjust as needed so that I can move forward and avoid past mistakes and not keep repeating the same mistake over and over, right? So a lot of pros right there. Um, the the struggle or the challenge sometimes with that is that you're allowing your past to determine your future. And so it's like, well, you know, that didn't go last well last time. So why would it go well again in the future? Um, that this always happens to me. I'm always having the same problem that never things never work out. And so just letting the past dictate your potential impossibilities in the future. So just be aware of that. And then um again, we talked about they will approach what they want by withdrawing, and our type fours will withdraw to get attention. So we just talked about how the type two feels like they have to earn the attention, and type fours will withdraw to get the attention. And that's kind of like it is a little bit of game playing sometimes where you'll kind of, you know, go silent to just to see if anybody notices, you'll disappear at a party just to see if um, I don't even know why I use that example because I haven't been to a party in forever, but that just came out for some reason. But you'll you'll disappear at an event or in a group just to see if anybody notices. And so it's like, oh, then the attention is on you and the fact that you're not there, right? Um, type fives will withdraw to get the security, the safety that they want. So um they will find they will find that safety and security within, within their minds. Um, they will go and withdraw to get that. And then our type nines are going to withdraw to get that feeling of autonomy and that they are in control. They'll do that by going inward. And then lastly, our type, the last group is called the aggressive group, or most of them tend to prefer this assertive group, where they're going after their goals with this assertive, forward-focused energy. And their direction with people is actually moving against people to pursue what they want. So these are going to be your direct communicators. They are driven to persuade. So you could, you know, sales and marketing type of roles or that part of their business and work that they're going to tend to excel in, typically, um, they can be frustrated by other people's slow pace and feel like it's getting in their way. Um, and because of that, because they're so focused on moving fast and moving forward, they can sometimes miss other people's needs. So, right away, um, you know, talking about this, you can see sometimes the conflict or miscommunication that might occur between somebody who is in this assertive energy and then with somebody who's in that withdrawn energy where they need time to process. They are slower to process and then kind of butting heads or maybe even feeling like bulldozed over or not seen or not heard and not appreciated um by somebody in this assertive stance who is just steamrolling over them because they they don't even notice. It's just like, oh, it's getting slow. We got places to be, we got things to do. And that's definitely not the intention. And this really um hit home for me. And just an example of how you might think about this or or use it in the own in your own work is that this was before I really had gotten deep into the Enneagram. I was working with a client to build their personal brand, and we were specifically talking about doing videos and um putting themselves out there as a podcast guest. And it seemed like week after week we were having the same conversation about their key talking points and what they were wanting to offer and specific topics that they would talk about. And in my mind, it felt like I thought we talked about this like three weeks ago. Why are we still having this conversation? Why haven't you done it already? Like, just do it. Let's go, let's do it, get it out there, reach out, let's go. And then he's I I at the time, again, I I don't, I have no idea what Enneagram type he is, but just based on this energy, I'm feeling it was probably some of this withdrawn energy where he needed time to process like what he was going to say and exactly what types of topics he wanted to cover in his live videos to feel really confident and and and capable and competent and um I think I said competent, but capable and competent and um knowledgeable on his topic, and then also just needed some time to process like what would it be like to be a podcast guest? Like, how would I talk? And for me, I'm like, oh, you just get on the podcast and you start talking. They may send you some questions and you answer the questions on the podcast. Like, let's go, right? And so me being a type seven, that's where I for I think I forgot to mention, but our type threes, sevens, and eights tend to have this more assertive energy. And, you know, I don't know how helpful I was actually being to him because I would just kept pushing, pushing. I wasn't, I wasn't pulling him forward, I was more pushing and I would, I would reflect back on it probably a little bit of some some steamrolling energy, which didn't do anything for him, right? I and it ended up like paralyzing him. And it took him even longer then to take action because I was overwhelming him with this need. He had to do it, he had to act. Whereas if I know, if I knew what I know now, you know, I could have had some more understanding, some more empathy. I could have maybe had taken the conversation a different way, could have helped him in different ways rather than just said, oh, just get out there and do it here, this one, two, three, bam, bada boom, bada bing. Right. Um, and I I do think that sometimes you need that, that like sometimes, you know, we we need some of this assertive energy to to push us forward, to get us out invisible. And then other times we need to slow down. Other times we may need to look for other to others to think what is in the best interest of this group or for this situation. And so we again, just like we talked about in in the last week's classroom episode about how we may we have a dominant type that's probably our go-to. That doesn't mean that it always has to be our go-to, and that doesn't mean that we're not capable of also pulling in some of these other energies. It's again, just being very intentional with what situation you're in, catching yourself when you when you go, when you pick up your default tool, and then think is this the right tool in this moment? And if not, being able to put it down and understand which one is the right tool for that situation. So to finish up talking about this assertive energy though, that their orientation to time is the future. So they are very future focused, focused on moving far and fast. They're going to be more impulsive. They're going to be the action takers. They are always thinking, what's next? What's next? Which again, the positive to that is, yeah, let's get things done. We're going to get things accomplished. I'm not going to sit on it and dwell and waste time. I'm going to move it forward. I'm going to move the ball down the field. Um, however, that can also, well, one, you miss out on the present moment because you're always thinking what's next. So when you get to what's next, you're thinking what's next again. You aren't living in the moment, appreciating, celebrating that the present moment. Um, and then you're not necessarily taking this time to slow down to reflect on how did it go last time? What is happening right now that I should take into consideration before I act, before I take this forward moving motion and put it into action. Like, what are some things I need to think about before I before I jump into that? Um, and because these this type tends to be so um focused on the future and moving really fast, they rarely slow down to consider their own emotional needs and the emotional needs of others and tend to be a little bit more repressed in the heart, which even though our threes are in that heart center of intelligence with twos, threes, fours, um, they are repressed in that area. And typically, not always, um, but sometimes the average level of health type threes will think of emotions as unproductive and just getting in the way of the goal. It's not effective right now, it's it's not efficient. We can't slow down. We got goals to to hit, and so we're not gonna think about emotions, my own or yours is kind of how how they um but how how they tend to approach that. But when they do start to grow in their emotional health, start to learn more about themselves, develop, um, they really are very much in touch with their heart and their feelings and and those of others as well. Um, and then lastly, the needs that they how they will go about getting their ultimate need is that they will demand that that need is met. So for a type three, who they want the attention with our our twos and fours want the attention, twos feel like they have to earn it, fours are gonna withdraw to get it, and threes are going to demand it. And you see that with kind of being stepping into the the spotlight, being very comfortable with that, being very natural leaders, um, taking on that attention, not good or bad, it just is. Um, our type sevens, along with our fives and sixes, are ultimately wanting that safety and security. And so they will demand it. So they will take their energy and do what they need to do to make sure that they are they have that feeling of security. And then our type eights with our nines and ones are going to demand their autonomy, which really is one of the pillars of our type eights. You know, they want to be strong and powerful so that nobody else can um be in charge of them, nobody else can tell them what to do. The autonomy is very foundational for our type eights, and they will demand that they get it. Um, the things that we talked about with how to actually use this information um is really something that I kind of went off on a tangent just a minute ago, but it's understanding, okay, which one do I most identify with? And if I know my type, okay, based on based on the type tendencies, how do I see this showing up in my life right now? Looking back, how is this shown up? And then um not necessarily, it doesn't have to be a bad thing, also looking at ways that it has helped you. So, what is one way that that energy has helped you achieve a goal, get to where you wanted to go, be who you want to be. How has it helped you? And then how can you continue to lean into that dominant energy? What's one thing that you can do based on what you know about that energy and and move yourself closer to a goal? Alexa off. So I um I may end up leaving this in here, I'm not sure, just because I joke about my robots and I have I have who I just I'm not gonna say it just in case I set yours off. I also have S-A-R, let's see, S-I-R-I, who turns on all the time. And then we have our uh robot vacuum that sometimes will occasionally bust in on here while I'm while I'm recording. So just all kinds of people, even when I have the house to myself, um, all kinds of, I say people, but other distractions coming in. So anyway, um, so to kind of look at how I can apply this, what's one way that you can lean more into your natural energy to accomplish a goal that you have? And then what is one thing you might look at changing or letting go of um to reach your goal? So there might be a way that this is helping you reach your goals, but this same energy might also be holding you back in specific ways in different types of goals. So just taking a look at that, taking inventory and then looking at the other two energies and thinking, okay, whether it's shifting my orientation to time or going within or slowing down or um looking to others, looking at the common good. Like, what are some other ways that I can incorporate those less dominant types into also helping me achieve my goals and ultimately getting to where I want to be, being who I want to be. So with that, um I am really excited about the next topic that we're going to cover, um, the next grouping. It has to do with our natural instincts. And um, this again has been so eye-opening in romantic relationships as well as understanding um the type of the type of business and the type of work that is going to be most aligned, not just with your specific Enneagram type, but with one of these three energies that we talk about next week. So I'm really excited to bring that to you. Um, if you're not already subscribed, be sure that you are subscribed or you're a follower, depending on which platform you're listening to this on, so that you get notified when that and other awesome episodes drop. So um this was a fun one. Thanks for hanging out, and I look forward to hanging out with you again soon.