Hey, real quick before we get into the episode, I was re-listening before I hit publish and realized that even though we covered a lot of great content in this episode around what each type looks like in stress and where each type goes to with taking on additional stress qualities and behaviors with that stress arrow, we didn't really talk about why each type gets stressed. And I just wanted to clarify before you jump in here that the root of these stressful experiences for each type has to do with their core motive or their core fear and/or their core fear. And so for a one, that's gonna be they're gonna be stressed because they're not living up to their ideal image of themselves or the world around them isn't living up to their ideal image. Um it's not good enough. It's not, they're not, something's not being done right. Um, somebody, something's happening with integrity, without integrity, without this high quality. And so it's gonna cause them stress that that will be expressed and look different, right? For for each human being, even though they relate to a type one. Uh, but that's kind of going to be the driver behind that stress when that motive, when that desire, that core desire is not being met. So for our type twos, the root of the stress is has is going to have something to do with the need to feel wanted and loved and appreciated. And so it's that need is not getting met in these moments where they they take on these unhealthy, unhealthy, um, stressful responses or behaviors. It's that something is happening that's causing them to feel unloved, unappreciated, unwanted. And so that their stress response is gonna kick in. For a type three, it's going to be something around failure. They're gonna have a lot of stress around not being seen as successful. They're not feeling as accomplished as they want to feel. For the type four, it's going to have to do with not feeling like they have significance, like they're um like they can't be there, they can't be accepted for their authentic self. And so there's gonna be some that's gonna be the root. Again, all kinds of things can cause us stress, you know, or stressed out about uh being stuck in traffic, being um something going on at work, something going on in our relationship. But again, when you dig, dig, dig, dig, dig down, it's gonna most likely have something to do with this core root desire fear. So for the type five, they're gonna experience stress when they don't feel like they're capable, when they don't feel like they're um competent in a subject, when they feel like they have to rely on somebody else. They don't feel self-sufficient, they feel um dependent on somebody else. That's gonna cause a really stressful response. Our type six is when they don't feel safe or secure, that's gonna be extremely stressful for that type. A type seven is gonna feel stressed when they are feeling trapped in emotional pain, when they are limited, when they don't have options, when it's not their choice. Um, they're gonna, it's gonna be very stressful to be kind of trapped in that situation. It's gonna feel like they're trapped, and then that feeling is going to result in that feeling of stress. Type eights are gonna be stressed when they feel like they're being taken advantage of in some way, when they feel like they're betrayed in some way, anything that's trying to control them because their core desire is to be powerful and strong, um, that's going to be stressful for them. And then our type nines are going to feel stress when they have any sort of inner and outer conflict that's causing them for to potentially be separated or disconnected from the group, from the people that they care most about. That's going to be a very stressful situation. And so, yes, there's going to be all kinds of things that can also cause a nine stress, but for the majority of the thing that's causing a stress is going to be that core fear, core motive, which I know I already said, but just to reiterate one more time. And I think that this also is really helpful and worth mentioning again, not just for yourself, but by understanding when your significant other, when your friend, when your parent, whatever person you're in a relationship with, coworker, um, acts out these sometimes really unhealthy stress responses. Um, you can have additional understanding and maybe feel more compassion, more empathy for what they must be going through for them to have that reaction and an understanding of what's causing that reaction. So I don't want to make the episode any longer than it is, but I did feel like that needed to be said, just a little explained just a little bit further. So without further ado, let's get into this episode. Welcome to the Enneagram MBA Podcast, a show for aspiring and growing entrepreneurs and unfulfilled employees who know they are capable of playing bigger. If you are wanting to identify your gifts, find your purpose, do work that matters, and create a ripple effect that goes beyond yourself, you're in the right place. Each week you'll get resources, strategies, and support to help you get to know yourself, to get to know and understand others, like your future clients, and help you get known so that you can reach more people with your gifts and purpose. So grab your notebook or open up your notes app, and I will see you in class. As we go into the holidays, continue to go into the holidays and also can continue to look ahead at the new year. There is a lot of excitement that can come with that. There's a lot of fun and things to look forward to, being around friends, family, getting to spend quality time, getting to goal set and dream and scheme for what's ahead. And also, I know that this time of year can be also very stressful with all that there is to do to get ready for the holidays, all that there is to do to get ready for the new year, the pressure that comes with oh, you know, setting the goals and am I doing enough to get prepared? Am I doing enough of everybody's talking about goal setting and and looking ahead? Am I doing that? Am I doing what needs to be done? It can be stressed, stressful time. Um, but really, you know, it's the us humans, right? We make we make the whole year stressful. There's all kinds of stressful times and things that happen um regardless of what time it is. So whenever you're listening to this episode, I think you'll be able to relate, but I thought it was a great topic to look at during the holiday season. And my intention for this episode is for you to further understand your type and uh specifically how you show up in stress. We're going to be talking about the second most important type on the Enneagram that is important for you to know about and understand outside of your dominant Enneagram type. So learning more about yourself, maybe even learning more about others too, having continue to have more empathy and compassion. And then also the intention here is to if you are somebody who continues to struggle with narrowing down your type, and maybe you're stuck between two or maybe even three. And what I have heard from clients as well as my own experience is that once you understand what your type looks like in stress and where your stress arrow is, so much clarity. There's so much an eye-opening experience almost that's like, oh my gosh, yes, this is so me when I'm stressed. Oh, I do all of this. Yes. And then you might also completely not see yourself in the other type that you've been struggling so much in, understanding their stress response and stress arrow. And you might think, gosh, that doesn't resonate at all. And so this will give you some, hopefully, some additional clues to help you continue to narrow down your dominant Enneagram type. And so what we are talking about today is our stress arrow, the deintegration path for our type. And each type has an arrow, has two arrows. One is the stress arrow that we're gonna be talking about today, and the other is our growth area, arrow, our integration arrow, where we go to when we're feeling really secure. When we're living our best life, we're actually gonna be taking on a lot of these healthy tendencies of this other type. And so that other type also, though, at the same time, holds some blind spots. So we are gonna be touching a little bit on both of the arrows, but really focusing in on that stress arrow today. Um, maybe also talking about some of our defense mechanisms as it is relevant, our vices, emotional patterns that sometimes might keep us stuck that really do come out when we are stressed, so that you get a good picture of what you look like when you're stressed, so that you can start to identify that maybe quicker, sooner, so that you can realize, listen, I'm not in a good place. I noticed that. I'm noticing that I'm doing these things. Um, it might seem like somebody's living their for another type. It might be behaviors that mean you're living your best life. Like, oh my gosh, you're so active, you're you're taking on so much, like you are just a go-getter, like you're living the dream right now, your best version of yourself. But for somebody else, a different type, those qualities might indicate those characteristics, those behaviors might indicate that something is very off. You are stressed. It is time to slow down, it is time to stop, it is time to pivot, whatever it might be. But those are clues that you are burning yourself out, um, that you are putting yourself under a lot of stress. Um, stress causes so many um, gosh, I was gonna say damages. That seems really uh dramatic, but it's it's it can be very damaging on our emotional health, our mental health, and our physical health. It's low energy, um, headaches, it can affect our stomach in different ways. It can affect our joints and our bones. We have these tense muscles and aches and pains. It can um affect our sleep, cause insomnia, affect our um our heartbeat, you know, our chest pain potentially. We can get sick more often, our immune system is tanked, we can lose our drive for certain things when we're stressed. We can be more irritable, we can have even more anxiety. So it causes all these things. So it's it's a really great thing to know what exactly causes that, and then you know what you specifically look like so that you can catch it sooner and and not have to experience all those negative effects as much as you might if you just ignored it and just kept kept going on. So we're gonna get into it all. Um, we are gonna start with type five today for something fun. I have, I know that I typically start at at type one, so our type nines are always last. And then I have been um been watching a couple of Enneagram webinars lately, and they start with type eight, and so I get to experience what it's like being the last one, and you have to wait as a type seven. So I feel you, type nines, um, and even type ones, who sometimes people do it backwards. So we're just starting here and um just for something different, giving our type fives a chance to go first. And so let's let's do it. Let's let's get into it, shall we? Um, our type fives, very concerned, motivated by being capable and competent and self-sufficient, knowledge is very important to them. And so how they're going to show up stressed might be more irritability, um, less patience within their type five. And I I did want to mention something, and I forgot to mention it. How our stress era works is that we will we will within our type exhaust all of our typical behaviors and thoughts and feelings, our kind of our repeat patterns, our coping strategies, our defense mechanisms. We'll deplete them within our type. And then once we still are not getting our needs met, once we're still experiencing that stress, we will make a lateral move over to our stress arrow, where we'll then not look like that type necessarily. We won't become a type seven in this case for our type fives. But we will we will overlap the stress qualities, kind of the unhealthy qualities that a seven will experience when they are under stress, and then overlap them with the type five energy. And that will create that that stress arrow, those, those qualities to kind of be on the lookout for when you know, okay, you are really, really stressed right now because now you've dipped into your stress arrow, and this is what you're doing. A lot of times we're acting the complete opposite of how we normally act. And so for the type fives, they do have a stress path to the type seven. And so what that's going to look like is they're actually going to take on some of the scatteredness, the impulsiveness of the seven. So they might be more hyperactive, they might um be more self-centered. Sometimes type sevens get dubbed as being a little self-centered, and they might be even a little condescending because they feel like I know so much. And if they're stressed and just not really thinking clearly, it's like, listen, I've mastered this, I know what I'm talking about. So they might have a little edge of arrogance, a little condescendingness about them looking down on others. Um and actually their growth arrow is to an eight, where they can become really self-confident and a little bit more assertive. But the blind spot for the fives that they may not notice about themselves is some of that arrogance, looking down on others, um, maybe even being a little confrontational in stress, maybe a little being a little bit more aggressive or forceful after they have exhausted their type five stress qualities, which for a type five, um they're most likely that the stress is going to come out as irritability. It's going to, they're going to detach even more, um, uh isolate even more, compartmentalize their feelings, withdraw from others. And actually, a type five defense mechanism is isolation. So each type has a specific defense mechanism, different strategy that's kind of their go-to for feeling safe and how they got their needs met and felt safe as a child, that they've just kind of carried on and continue to kind of be their go-to in those situations. So, our type five, when you notice, you know, typically I'm really calm and I'm very rational, and here I am feeling impulsive and scattered and um maybe confrontational and irritable and aggressive. Something's off, right? Something's off for the type fives. And so, what will do a type five a lot of good is to get into their bodies. Um get in touch with feelings for sure, like what's going on, why do I feel this way? But get in touch with your body. And for a five, I've heard that the more active, the more um exhausting, the more, uh, what's the what's the word that I'm looking for? The more kind of intense exercise or physical activity that you can do, the better that it will help with that stress. So it's not necessarily going for a walk or doing some yoga. It's maybe going for a run or a kickboxing class that's going to help that five connect with their body and shake some of that stress that they might be feeling. So our type six looking for safety and security. Um, interestingly, um, you know, very familiar with with stress, their defense mechanism tends to be around, um, excuse me, is around what they call um projection. And so it's kind of where they're unconsciously, oh, unconsciously putting their own feelings, intentions, thoughts, and behaviors um onto other people. And so it's like, well, uh, you know, I would be mad in this situation, so they're probably mad at me. Um, or they're gonna break up with me anyway. So I'm just gonna go ahead and break up with them, kind of kind of energy is how that plays out. And that you'll that will be more evident the more the more stress they are in. Um, with the sixes, it's really interesting. Um, sixes are really interesting because they have, they're the only type that has the counterphobic and the phobic distinction. And so to to look at that, we it it it is worth getting into the subtypes a little bit. Um, so that we have our self-preservation six, we have a social six, and we have a sexual six. And um their six stress responses will be will be different. And I'm gonna tell you where they go to their stress arrow in just a second. But the self-preservation um six may actually get more, more worried, more worried, but they may be actually, they may actually get more friendly. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm worried. Is everything okay? I need to make sure that you know I'm safe, I'm part of the group. So they they're going to be more um friendly, even though they're really worried. Um, the social six may actually express their anxiety, their stress by overworking and feeling like they have to do way more. Um, they're they're really, they're they're responsible for making sure everything that gets done, that the thing that they're worried about doesn't actually happen. So they can they can be kind of have this sense of, they do have this sense of duty, very intense sense of duty as a social six. And so it can feel like, gosh, I'm responsible. And that can add to that anxiety. And so you'll see overworking kind of be expressed as the stress indicator for for that six. And then we have a sexual six, which is known as the counterphobic six that can look a lot like an eight. Um, in stress, they may actually tend to take on more, they may exert their strength more like that eight. Um, they may kind of close themselves off and be really tight, not open to feedback or the support of others. So kind of cut off their support systems. And they may be acting from a place of fear, but not even realize it. And that's why understanding what your types stress response looks like can help you in understanding when you're stressed so that you can stop being stressed and and you know, taking on those harmful behaviors, thoughts, feelings that impact you in all those negative ways that we talked about earlier. And so once a six has exhausted their defense mechanism, their specific strategies for coping with that, they then move to a type three in stress. And so what that is gonna look like is typically sixes are incredibly collaborative, incredibly cooperative, um, focuses on the group. But in a time of stress when maybe they don't feel safe, um, they don't feel secure in the work they're doing, the relationship they're in, um, the friendship they have, they're going to take on some of those unhealthy qualities of a three where they get overly competitive. Um, they're gonna stay busy to avoid anxiety. So look like that social six a little bit. So even more, even more intense, that poor social six. Um, busy, busy, busy, doing, doing, doing. Um, I actually want to avoid that anxiety. I don't want to feel that. So I'm gonna do that. Um, we talked about sabotaging their support systems. Type threes can do that as well in stress. So you may see that show up for yourself as a six. And then it may be you're so have so much anxiety, so much fear around failing that like our threes in in that unhealthy range, um, you're not gonna want to try anything that you just know you're not gonna be good at. And the blind spots for you might come from the this type nine where you go to in health, but there might also be some blind spots that that spill over, like shutting down because you're so stressed, being resentful, um, just not wanting to be bothered and feeling like, gosh, I have worked so hard and so much for so long, I deserve a break. And when am I gonna get get my break and have some anger, maybe resentment around the fact that you haven't gotten that yet? So that's what that will look like for a six. So um, again, if you're deciding between a couple of these, really see, okay, after I've exhausted those tendencies, do I see myself in that, in those three qualities? The the staying busy to avoid anxiety, the competitiveness. Like, do I do I see that? And again, sometimes this is hard to see. It's hard to omit because a lot of these behaviors, thoughts, feelings are unconscious. So the intention for the Enneagram and learning about ourselves overall is to become more intentional in general. Um, and one of the reasons why it can be so hard to type ourselves is because so much of what the Enneagram tells us about ourselves is unconscious. These unconscious mental patterns, emotional patterns are defense mechanisms, right? So it is a it is a process. So you might listen to this a year later and realize, oh my gosh, I didn't want to see it then, but oh, see it now. Yep, that's me. Um, so you know, this it may be really helpful, it may not, just depending on kind of where where you are. Um type seven, wanting to be satisfied and fulfilled and uh known as the enthusiast, typically looking on the bright side, positive outlook in life. When they get stressed, um, they're going to get even more scattered. They're going their lives are probably going to look even more chaotic. Um, they're going to feel maybe even more resentful if they feel like they're being dragged down in any way, if they feel like their options are being um limited. So, you know, they they may not look like their typical energetic optimistic self in a time of stress, or they may be over the top with it and and and be even, you know, overcompensate and thinking, oh my gosh, I'm I'm stressed. Um, I'm gonna reframe this whole situation, and I'm going to um may even look a little, maybe even a little manic. Um, I'm going to up my enthusiasm. I'm going to up my activity. Um, again, a little bit like some of the stress qualities we've talked about is even more activity to um help me not sit with my stress or anxiety. I don't want to feel that. So I'm gonna just stay busy. Um, what a one or what a seven will tend to start to look like once they've exhausted those defense mechanisms, those qualities, which again, I keep forgetting to mention this for each of these, but our type seven, their defense mechanism is rationalization. So they can rationalize and reframe anything hard, anything difficult, anything sad, um, embarrassing, whatever. And they can reframe it into a positive. Um, they can reframe the things that they what most of us would consider wrong, they're gonna reframe it and be able to justify it because they have these really great abilities, they have this really great ability to rationalize anything. So that's kind of their when something's not going right, that that's what they're gonna do. They're gonna rationalize it. Um, and then once they've exhausted all of those defense mechanisms, coping strategies, they're gonna move to the type one. And we don't always see it with sevens, but sevens can actually be incredibly critical, self-critical, especially very harsh on themselves. But you won't always see that because it there's so much optimism and positivity and activity and enthusiasm, um, reframing going on that you won't see that. But when they're stressed, that's gonna come out more. You're gonna see that that that both the self-criticalness and maybe even criticalness of others and um very harsh too. Can be they can be very, very harsh on themselves, which our ones can absolutely be. Um, they're gonna, you know, being kind of scattered and all over the place, typically in a moment of stress or in times of stress, when they move into that one arrow, they are going to kind of be the opposite. They're actually gonna be very controlling, they're gonna have a lot of perfectionism tendencies, um, blaming, judgmental. And the controlling will will typically be controlling of things that just really don't matter. Um, controlling, you know, like they just want to feel in control of anything. So I'm gonna rearrange my room and feel in control of that way. I'm gonna go into a cleaning binge so I can feel in control of that. I'm going to um even, you know, um be in control and of what I eat. Maybe I'm going to um type ones in stress a lot of times will um kind of punish themselves. And so ones can take on, take, take on some of those tendencies. It's like, well, you know, I'm gonna punish you around what you can eat, or I'm gonna, you know, you need to go out and run five miles and hurt. Like you need to to to kind of yeah, feel this pain, be punished because you did something wrong or this case are stressed out. So that's what that can look like, not pretty, right? Um, and then in growth, which we absolutely will do an episode because the growth is really beautiful. And I've gotten I've gotten a lot of insight understanding my growth arrow, um, my stress arrow and really understanding my growth arrow too, which for a seven is a five. But those blind spots where we can take on some of those stress qualities, unhealthy qualities of that other arrow, um, is for a type seven. Maybe actually we uh do all this hyperactivity, we we have all this these activities going on, all these plans. But when we go into stress, a blind spot can be being really reclusive, um, stubbornly resistant, uh take on some arrogance, that condescending energy that we talked about, um, and maybe a feeling more negative thoughts, or not feeling more negative thoughts, having more negative thoughts and and having more negative feelings as well. And that so um I was talking with somebody earlier in the week, deciding between am I a three or am I a seven? And when we got to talking about what the um type three looks like, which we'll get to, versus where they go to and stress that the these one tendencies, she was like, Oh my gosh, yeah, I I totally in times of stress, over control, I, you know, become a perfectionist, which I normally am not. I'm normally very good with the flow, yeah, open to it all. Um, so that was really insightful for her to understand more about herself. Um, our type eight, wanting to be powerful and strong so that nobody can take advantage of them. In times of stress, um, they may become more harsh, more aggressive, maybe um more bulldozing over others, maybe some intimidation tendencies here. Um, they're gonna refuse to be controlled in a time of stress. That is their worst fear. So, in a stressful situation, it might feel like I'm somehow, someone's trying to control me. There's um, you know, I I I'm gonna be vulnerable here. So instead, I'm gonna get really big and do all these things. I'm gonna get loud, I'm gonna be really um direct, but but maybe in a harsher way than a more productive way. They may be more impatient, get frustrated with others much more quickly. And they they're not going to um, they may not have, you know, they have big hearts. They go to the two in growth. And so they have that that teddy bear, they have that soft heart deep inside. Um, but they that they're not gonna be seeing that as much in these times of stress because it's like it is uh lockdown mode. Nope, where nobody's gonna get in there, that's vulnerable. And right now I need to be big and I need to be strong. And the defense mechanism for our type eight, you know, they're they're going through all these stress qualities. We just talked about that. And then they also have a defense mechanism around denial, and so they will kind of deny that um anything is causing them anxiety. They're not stressed. Um, I'm not sad. Uh, I'm not hurt. There, there's, you know, I I don't have any of that. So they're gonna kind of deny any feelings of vulnerability, deny the anxiety, um, as if they just never occurred or they just don't exist, which, you know, we all know what happens when we shove down, shove down, deny, don't address things. Um, our type eights have a high pain tolerance. They um they also have a lot of confidence. So when they are in times of stress, it's like, oh, I got this, I can handle this, I've been through worse. And so they're not gonna really notice that they're stressed. They're not gonna, they're their their bodies, they're not gonna allow their bodies to show them. Um, oh gosh, you're you're bordering your toe in the line of of uh of wearing out, of burning out here. Um they feel like they can handle a lot. It's almost like, gosh, I yeah, I can handle a lot. It's fine. This is a stressful situation. Maybe they'll admit that, but listen, I'm fine because I can handle a lot. So they're gonna take on even more. They may take on too much, and then they're gonna normalize all that they're taking on. Um, so to kind of combat that, um, or not combat that, that sounds negative. Um, well, we'll actually, I'm sorry, we'll get into that. So their um stress arrow is going to take them to the type five, which so as a type eight, you're exhibiting all these type eight stressful qualities, behaviors. And then as a type five, though, when you overlap the unhealthy stressing qualities of that five, our eights may withdraw more. They may actually become more secretive and fear really being behaved, which is their ultimate, their ultimate fear. Um, and so they're going to repress their emotions, which we've talked about. They're going to repress them even more with that line to a five who already also detaches and represses feelings, compartmentalize. And um, they're going to to really increase their stubbornness. So an eight is already can already be stubborn, and they're going to dig in even more in those times of stress. Now, we talked about in when they're growing and really allowing themselves to feel secure and safe, they're going to take on the best and healthiest qualities at that type two, which we'll talk about at a different time. But the blind spot sometimes of dipping into that energy that can that can kind of leak out is feeling insecure that your loved ones really do still want you and still need you. Um, you're gonna want acknowledgement and appreciation potentially for all that you do. And you may withhold affection for power. So that's kind of how that, yes, there's so many beautiful things that a type eight can tap into, but there's also some of those type two energies that can leak in, also in a time of stress. Moving on to our type nine, who wants to avoid conflict, really finding inner and outer peace is the core driver for them. Um, they are going to, in times of stress, tend to lose touch with uh their own feelings and opinions even more. They're going to be kind of confused, unsure how their presence matters, how their contribution to the world is actually meaningful. Um they may zone out. They may kind of sleepwalk, if you will, um through their day-to-day when they're stressed. They may, you may find them completely disengaging from those around them. And they can feel like, yeah, I'm just not, I'm not valued by the group, my presence doesn't matter, um, which only continues to fuel their disengagement. Um, and they're gonna be kind of looking around and thinking, like, what's really worth my energy? Like, I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I don't want to put a ton of energy into um dealing with this person or this situation. So that's where that disengagement might come from as well. And our type nines do have the vice, the emotional pattern um called the passion of the sloth. It's called sloth officially in Enneagram theory. Um, it is also known as sleepwalking. So it's just kind of where you lethargically are just paying attention to your own feelings, thoughts, and needs, and you kind of yeah, just disable from any sort of action. So you're gonna find yourself in front of the TV, zoning out on Netflix, um, the new Netflix series, whatever that is. Um, you might also find yourself their defense mechanism is around numbing themselves to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and behaviors, um, as well as avoiding difficult tasks, avoiding conflict, avoiding any anger or pressure by merging with other people. And then um just I guess doing routines that require as little attention um as possible, but provide maximum comfort. So, what can I, what's the least I can get by with that will give me the maximum amount of safety, security, and comfort. So that's what a nine will kind of look like. They they um, yeah, it's really interesting. So their stress is like sitting on the couch, um, not really living for anything. We talked about numbing out, they will neglect themselves very much. So a a very helpful thing that they can do is to ask, how am I doing? Check in, how how am I doing? Um, and their stress arrow is to the type six. So after they have exhausted all of these coping strategies, defense mechanisms of a stereotypical type nine behavior, they're going to move into the stressful, unhealthy qualities of our type six, where they're gonna overcommit, they're gonna become more anxious, more worried, they're gonna be looking out for the worst-case scenario, very much like our sixes do in their stress, um, maybe more irritable, maybe defensive. They can already be a little stubborn, and so dig into that stubbornness even more. And you might find them being this kind of in this black and white thinking, which typically they are so great in being in the unknown, holding different perspectives, different opinions, being in the gray. But in a time of stress, you might find them kind of that black or white thinking. Now, when they're growing, they're gonna move to a type three. So many beautiful things about the the nine to the type three arrow in growth. But with that, since we're talking about stress, some other things that you might notice that a type three is gonna kind of leak out and influence that type nine stress reaction, stress response is um maybe doing a lot of work, but it's not really productive work. So, you know, type threes are the ultimate workaholics, staying busy, busy, busy to avoid any feelings of anxiety or to make sure that they're worth they are valued for all that they do. And so that may show up for the nine, but it's going to be just busy work. It's not really gonna be meaningful work. So they're gonna be tired and exhausted and doing so much, but not necessarily on anything that moves the needle or anything of really importance. They're gonna maybe even deny their emotions because they just don't want to deal with them. Type threes are in the heart center and are the type that is repressed in the feelings because they're they're seen as not productive. So you might see that also show up for our type nines. Moving on to our type ones here, known as the improver, looking to be good, have integrity, um, do the right thing. They are going to, you're gonna find them looking at, or when they're stressed, looking like um they are going to dismiss other people's feelings. Um, they're going to the inner critic is going to turn up the volume even louder. The harshness is going to be turned up even more. So super, super critical, harsh criticism. Um, they're going to feel like things are not good enough. Um, then they themselves are not good enough. And so they may get so focused on improving that thing um that they miss deadlines, they dismiss timelines and other people's feelings. They, like those sixes, might take on too much responsibility because when they're stressed, it's like nobody else can do it as good as I can do it. And so I need to do everything. And so they're gonna be um take on too much more than what take on too much than one person can actually handle. And then at the same time, though, they're gonna feel like, gosh, nobody every everyone else isn't carrying, no one else is carrying their weight like I am. And so they're gonna feel like, gosh, uh, people are cutting corners, they're not putting in as much effort as I am, and become really resentful of that, which is the type one's passion or vice, is that their emotional pattern is around resentment. Um, and they don't want to feel angry, they feel like angry is wrong to feel it's bad to be angry. You shouldn't feel angry, and so that angry is anger actually turns into resentment. Um, they're gonna hold things in, not express how they're actually feeling. And so you will see their type seven after they've exhausted all of these qualities, you will see them tap into their um their stress arrow, which is a type four. And what they're going to do here is that type fours tend to be very introspective, um really focused on their own feelings and emotions, right? Which has so many positives. But in these moments, um, what that means is that the inner critic, oh, it intensifies even more than it already is. Um they're going to turn inward. They may become depressed and feel hopeless. Resentful is going to be another thing that gets turned up. Resentment is going to be another thing, gets turned up, and then they may just feel like unlovable and unwanted when those two overlap. Um, their growth arrow is to a type seven, which again uh is just a really beautiful um path. For our type ones who tend to be so structured and controlling and self-critical is to take on the healthiest qualities of that seven topic for another day, though, because also they have access to some of the unhealthy qualities that can be real blind spots. So maybe they see that their inner critic intensifies with that stress arrow. The growth arrow, those blind spots are things that are pretty unconscious. Maybe other people see, but it that typically you're not going to see for yourself. So this isn't necessarily, you may not recognize this, but it's good to maybe think about, maybe ask other people about. They're going to take on some of that self-absorbed, self-centered qualities and tendencies that a type seven in an unhealthy range can have. So their passion is around pride. It's pride. And so their defense mechanism goes along that same line. It's repression where they're going to, they're going to actually hide this really important information about stress, about anxiety, about feeling sad, about feeling off. They're going to hide this information from themselves and others, um, their desires, their needs, um mostly unconsciously from other, from other people. They're just gonna hide it. It's like, no, it doesn't exist. So they're gonna try and kind of contain it, kind of keep it under control. And uh obviously, again, very similar to kind of denying it that we talked about with the eight. So eventually that's gonna come out, and you're going to be even more of those of the the two qualities. You might be um a little bit more clingy, um, you might lash out that others are not loving you or caring about you the way that you're loving and taking care of them. Um you may struggle with confusion and uncertainty. If if somebody doesn't need your help, then who are you? What role do you have to play? And that can feel really stressful. That can feel like a lot of anxiety. Um, you can end up bitter and burnt out and resentful when you only focus on others' needs and completely repress your own. Don't admit, don't acknowledge that you have your own. And so, in a stressful time, once our twos have exhausted these tendencies, they move to the type eight, the unhealthy qualities of a type eight. And in that place, they can have some really intense emotions. So already being in the feeling center of intelligence, they have strong feelings. They're very in touch with feelings, typically the feelings of others. But in this state of stress, they're going to have really big feelings, maybe anger, um, aggressive, irritable, demanding feelings. They're gonna want to be controlling, they might become very jealous, they might be very blaming, even some vengefulness, which is a quality of an unhealthy ate. And so um, you know, that you're so something to be something to be aware of. Um, when our type twos are in health, when they're really growing and in that, in that safe and secure spot, they're gonna be able to tap into their growth arrow, which is a type four. And instead of being so others focused, they get a chance to be more introspective and self-focused on their feelings, but also they have access to that arrow, which sometimes can leak out and cause these blind spots in a time of stress, anxiety, of um uh of being more moody, being more temperamental, being a little bit more self-indulgent, being a little bit more self-absorbed, um, and maybe over oversharing your own feelings and your own needs, kind of overdoing it. Our type five fours, that's very much sometimes something that can happen when you're when they're stressed out, kind of oversharing too much, not knowing where that boundary is. Um, and so you might find yourself as a two also experiencing some of these qualities and characteristics in a time of stress. Our type three looking for success, accomplishment, wanting to be seen as successful, as accomplished, respected, um, also known as a performer, they um probably aren't going to realize that they're stressed until it's uh too, I don't want to say too late, but until it is very far down the road. Um, and they are going to experience this extreme burnout moment. And if you're a type three, you've probably had at least one of these, if not multiple ones. Um, you are going to work, work, work. Your um passion, your that emotional pattern, that vice that we've talked about with some of these is known as deceit, specifically self-deceit, where you're thinking you're fine. Again, kind of like repressing, kind of like denial. It's like, listen, I'm fine. I don't have these feelings. Um, I'm doing great. I I don't need a slowdown. Feelings, my feelings and the feelings of others are just gonna get in the way of the goal that we're going after. So let's go, go, go. Um, they're gonna be, they're gonna maybe cut corners um when they're working on a task because it's like, I just really want to get this project accomplished. Quality isn't so much uh important in this area as it is like being able to check it off for them. They might get into really comparing themselves. They already do this enough, and in a time of stress, they're really going to have a lot of um comparing and then probably feeling some shame if somebody else is doing quote unquote better than they are, looking better than they are, accomplishing more than they are. Um, their defense mechanism as a type three is over-identifying with your activities, with your roles, your title at work, the work that you do, and then um really kind of yeah, admiring others, maybe even over-identifying the the good qualities in others and and putting them over-romanticizing them and then comparing yourself, like, oh, I just can never be that good. Um, but really putting your worth into your identity is very much how a three will show up in stress, um, trying to get their needs met. But in once that has kind of come and gone and it's not working for them, they're gonna move to the unhealthy qualities of the type nine. And so they're going to become the opposite of what they typically are. So they're gonna be actually disengaged, they're going to withdraw, they're going to become self-doubting, which typically they're so confident and self-assured. Um, but in these times, they will become more self-doubting, apathetic, um, really vegging out. So, again, we've kind of talked about this earlier with the type nine stress qualities. It's gonna, it's gonna look like that for a type three who has moved into this stress path, um, vegging out, zoning out, numbing out. Um, in growth, they move to a six and become really collaborative and really a great um teammate, really others focused. But in times of stress, sometimes those blind spots, the the unhealthy qualities of the six can leak out and cause additional self-doubt for that type three, can increase their anxiety, right? Sixes really struggle with fear and anxiety. So let's blind spot might be they're they're feeling a lot more fear and anxiety. Um, and then they may be handling it with either overworking or completely numbing out rather than looking at it head on. Um, they might be a little bit more negative, complaining, much more skeptical than they typically are. So that's what our type three will look like. And then lastly, as we round it out, we have our type four um who are going to be looking for significance in the world um by being their authentic self, being extraordinary, the creative geniuses on the Enneagram. And what I have learned about the type fours is that um it's really helpful in these situations to look at the subtypes, kind of like it was with the sixes, how you have the counterphobic, the phobic, and how those the self-preservation, social and sexual will um very much influence how that type is expressed. And it's true for all of them, um, all types, but also very true for the type four, because their their self-preservation subtype specifically can look very much like an eight, can look like a one, three, sometimes even they might mistype as a seven. And it's because their pain tolerance is higher than the other two subtypes rather than um withdrawing and maybe sulking to get their needs met. Um, I don't want to say sulking, but kind of, yeah, just withdrawing, um, maybe, you know, let allowing their feelings to wash over them, a self-preservation for is actually going to work even harder. They're going to have the feelings, they're going to have the hard feelings. So they're not necessarily repressing them. They know that they're there. And because they know that they're there, they're going to want to um avoid them, avoid others seeing them, especially. And so um they they can look like that eight energy, the three energy, maybe the hardworking, you know, one energy, maybe the frantic, um, busy, impulsive, scattered seven, potentially two in these situations. Um, a social subtype four um may actually do the opposite and ruminate too much on how they're feeling. And um a sexual four may be um feeling like uh um, or it they may also be doing that. And so when somebody says you shouldn't be feeling this upset, that's going to be crushing to them to have it's crushing to any of us not to feel truly seen and truly heard and really be understood, especially in these times when we're not in a great place, where we're stressed, where we're sad, where we have anxiety. Um, and so for somebody to say, gosh, you really shouldn't be feeling this intense, these intense of emotions, um, it's it's really gonna crush you. And so all three of them, though, kind of have this theme of um self-inflicted stress, though. So it's like it's the melancholy. It might be the passion of the envy. So they have a thought pattern of melancholy and then an emotional pattern or vice or passion of envy where they're comparing themselves and they feel like something's truly defective and wrong about them, like they're missing something that others have and they just don't know how to get it. Um, their um defense mechanism is this idea of introjection, where they will um they will fully absorb and internalize this negative information about themselves without actually, you know, holding it up to any sort of dot data or logic to confirm this is true, this is accurate. Um, and they forget about all the positive data out there, all the positive things about them, right? It's like you said this one thing and they latch on to that and that becomes the truth. So you can see very much how in moments of stress, that that that would just enhance the melancholy, would would get even more melancholy, the the envy, the comparison, the feeling of defectiveness would get even more intense. So after they've exhausted their type four qualities of characteristics, tendencies of stress, they move to the type two, where they can become clingy, overly dependent on others, really crave attention, want affirmation, um, and be indirectly manipulative with those qualities. The growth arrow for a type four is the type one, which is again, it's so beautiful because you know, with the dreamer that they are, they get to bring in that structure and routine to help bring their lives to not their lives, their dreams and creative projects to fruition for them to actually happen. So that's a really beautiful move. Um, but there's also some blind spots that can kind of leak in from that those type one stress qualities when they're when when they themselves are you know not living their best life. The unhealthy qualities of the type one can be really hypercritical, judgmental of themselves, and then of ultimately of others, um excessively aware of all the things that are wrong with them, all their flaws, how defective they are, right? They're already doing that. And so pairing that that with the inner critic of the one, and it's just like, oh, you can't do anything right. There's so much wrong with you. Um, and they may be a little edgy and um impatient, irritable, um, and may have some controlling tendencies, wanting to control them as well. So um that is it, guys. That were that was a lot, but I hope too, and I don't know that I said this at the beginning, maybe I did, but not as much, that even when we weren't covering your type or a couple of the types that you thought that you might be, that having that awareness, if you know what somebody in your life is, seeing, oh my gosh, so this is how they act in stress. I totally see it. I can know that they are stressed and maybe, you know, be extra understanding, how hold space for them, maybe not allow myself to get as upset, um, not feel like it's about me, and understanding this is their response to stress and maybe diffusing that conflict a little bit, maybe it won't be as intense by understanding how others handle stress versus how you underhandle stress, right? Um and so, and then yes, ultimately though, understanding yourself and being able to kind of course correct when those stressful situations happen, when those stressful behaviors come up, see that in yourself and know, okay, what's going on here? Right? That's a great question to start with. What's going on? You know, what am I feeling? What am I thinking? What do I need to do in some situations, depending on your type and depending on where you go to in stress? It may be what what do I need to do? Um, what do I need to allow myself to feel? What data logic, rationale, kind of bringing in that mental headspace, do I need to um do I need to to allow myself to to also think about? And then when you identify that, you can start to look into more. And we'll talk more about this. And this is one of the things that that we talk about when um I work one-on-one with people is once you understand your type and your stress, it's then okay, what what do we actually do about it? So we talked about earlier type five, it's really important for them in those situations to get into their body with some really intense activity. But a type six, on the other hand, it is important for them to also get out of their heads and get into their bodies, but they're already, they already have enough intense doing action going on that you know, the thing that's most going to help them is activity, but maybe some more gentle activity, maybe some yoga, maybe a walk, right? And so um getting to learn more about yourself and what exactly is the best path for getting through that stress, navigating around that, navigating through it really. We need to deal with it. Um, how do you handle those arrows? How do you maybe lean in more to their growth arrow? Um, we that's what we do in in our one-on-one. So if that is something of interest to you, um we have, I have, we I have assessments. We can help on a call to talk about what that would look like to work together and start to uncover more of this, to look more at this, um, to ultimately be the best version of yourself, to have the happiest, healthiest relationships that you can. And so um I do also hope that if you were deciding between a couple that this was helpful in understanding your stress arrow, what you look like in stress, um, to see which one most resonates with you in those situations. So we will be back together next week, just you and I hanging out again um for a fun topic that I think will be a good one to kind of close out the year with, fun um dreaming, inspirational, um, dreaming and scheming type of type of topic. So looking forward to having that conversation with you um next week. In the meantime, I always would love to connect with you on Instagram, LinkedIn. Let me know um if you had any aha's, what showed up for you, um, what resonated with you when learning about how you handle stress, your stress arrow. I love to hear about it all. And uh have a great week. And I'll see you back here very soon.